Chapter 4 "And so the Thundercats would be formed" Antonio raced while sitting in the clock on the he could be home

home every day after school. The restlessness he felt class was unbearable, especially in the afternoon. As wall ticked, he anxiously awaited to be released so on time for his favorite cartoon, "The Thundercats".

It was normal for him to sit in front of a television for hours while he did his homework, but that particular cartoon was special. Absolutely, positively, no matter what, education was put to rest while Lion-O and crew got down to business. Antonio was now in middle school and the work was going to be harder and more advanced. Apart from what he was learning in class, he also maintained a steady knowledge of the "real world" as Rolando would say. He often stressed to Antonio that getting older was only going to bring about more responsibility. Watching his show was a way to tune out, transport him into another world. The likes of a team of cat-like humanoid aliens fighting for the protection and liberty of Thundera, was a way to escape the chaotic lifestyle adulthood would bring. Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats, HO! Antonio would shout as he held a pen in the air pretending it was the sword of Omens. He would then mimic what the character Lion-O was doing as he battled the evil villain Mumm-Ra. The next day at school, Antonio and his friends would gather in the schoolyard and talk about the episode from the day before. They would critique what they had watched, each of them inputting their opinions on this series that had captivated their imaginations. The circle of friends included Jose, a chubby Spanish kid from Antonio's building and one strong son of a gun. With his overlapping gut and broad shoulders it literally took three guys to bring him down whenever they played football in the yard. There was also Billy "Duckie" Griffin, the only white boy in Antonio's class, probably the entire school. Everyone called him Duckie because of the waddling nature of his walk. Antonio had a thing for Rosemary Delgado. The boys accepted her in their group because she was smart and acted like one of them. Many times, she sashayed her Latin attitude with an exclamation mark by puckering up her lips and shaking her head when she talked. She was very passionate in what she preached whether during a regular conversation or in an argument. She also bragged about her older brother being a legitimate member of the Latin Kings, and a threat to anyone's health if she were ever fucked with.

There was also Tazeem Abdul Aalee Rahmini, Taz for short. He was one of Antonio's best friends. Tazeem's mother was Puerto Rican, while his father was black. He was one of those militant types, always yapping about pro black and anti-white and an avid member of the N.O.I (Nation of Islam). Some of those teachings very well used to rub off on Taz himself. One of them always heavily observed by Antonio was the fact that Taz would never hold a cigarette, a joint, throw up a middle finger, anything, with his right hand. He would reserve those kind of things and actions for his left hand. It was always something that intrigued Antonio about his friend but never really bringing the topic up in a full blown discussion. With all the preachy rhetoric coming from his father's mouth, Taz was also one of those children that seemed brainwashed into believing everyone was always against the black man. He let those emotions fly one day by hurling a book at the "white" librarian in school and was suspended for doing so. His father got involved and caused a raucous over the incident, threatening to sue everyone and their mother if his child wasn't let back in. Somehow the school officials listened and needless to say, Taz was allowed back to school immediately. Rounding out the group were Monifa, and her brother Carl. Monifa was the apparent smart one as Carl was a year older and still in the seventh grade. He was one of those Special-ED students who the group used to make fun of, insinuating his classes were in the schools basement and boiler room. Monifa and her brother were at constant odds with each other, forever arguing about the littlest things. The fights would last several minutes until out of nowhere, everything seemed to be cool between them. Finally, there was Abraham, the studious one of them all. He was considered to be the nerd of the group but Antonio liked him for a reason. Antonio always sensed something more to Abraham. He seemed to have the qualities of a bad boy somewhere in his body yearning to come out and he would patiently wait for the right time to help unleash it. Until then, Abraham was Antonio's ticket out of Junior High School. The eight of them bonded together, always offering protection for one another. They were known throughout the school as the "The Thundercats" and Jerome Avenue, and its surroundings was Thundera. They each played along, embodying the cartoon characters to themselves. The leader of the clan was Antonio, he was Lion-O. Jose used his brute strength as did his counterpart of Panthro. Rosemary was the quick footed Cheetara, with Abraham representing the lovable Snarf. Duckie loved to take off his belt and whirl it around in the air as if it were a bolo whip, just like Tygra. The sibling duo Monifa, and Carl were supposed to be the twins Wily Kit and Wily Kat. And then there was Taz.

Antonio could have easily assigned him a different persona, but due to his mean streak and last name of Rahmini, he knew Taz had to be the one and only Mumm-Ra, the ever living. Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight. Antonio shouted at the television as his daily fix was on the air. Lion-O held the sword up to his eyes and was able to see a mutant ambush waiting for him and his team up ahead. Antonio watched intently, waiting for the action to start. Suddenly, he heard a loud crashing noise coming from the kitchen. He quickly got off his bed and lowered the volume on his set. There was an interval of silence until he heard another round of what appeared to be glass shattering. He slowly opened the door to his room with trepidation, his trusty sword of Omens equivalent, his pen in hand. Boom! Crash! More noise coming from the kitchen. As he walked down the hallway, the scurrying noise was getting louder. He finally peeked in only to see his mother standing on a chair about to step onto the counter. She frantically threw everything from the cupboards onto the kitchen floor. It was already a mess with broken glasses and dishes, mixed with sugar, oatmeal packets and canned goods. Mildred had a deranged look in her eyes, as if possessed. Mom, what are you doing? Antonio asked her. Get the hell out of here. Go back to your fucking room! Mildred screamed. Antonio was smart enough to know what his mother was doing. Hed seen her this way before. Mildred was dripping with sweat from the exertion, and her hair was a mess. I know he hid that shit, I just know it!" she ranted. She now leaped off the chair with energy. It was fueled by her rabid need for a heroin fix. She searched everywhere in the room, above cabinets and below. Mildred then stopped and looked over at her son. Do you know where it is?" she asked him. I dont know what youre talking about." Antonio answered back as he stared at his mother. That motherfucker, where did he put it! she screamed. Mildred then stormed out of the kitchen. Antonio waited, but his eyes were focused at the cupboards. He knew exactly what she was looking for and where it was. He'd spent so much time in the kitchen with Rolando that he was well aware of every hiding spot Rolando used for his drugs.

He waited some more until he heard his mother attacking her bedroom with the same intensity. Antonio would only have a short window of opportunity to climb on the chair and retrieve what she was so desperately seeking. He then made his move. He then climbed on the chair and onto the counter. Antonio had to tippy toe holding onto the front of the cupboards for support. With his right hand he opened the cabinet door and used his pen to move a can of soup from the highest shelf to the side. In back of it was a bag of flour. He stretched out his arm as best as he could. Once again he used his pen to try and move the flour package but couldn't, until he decided to puncture the bag with it. Antonio then stuck the pen inside the hole and slowly started moving the flour bag forward. It was working. He slid the bag right near the ledge of the shelf, but there was no way he was going to be able to hold it in his hands. He was already beginning to feel pain and weakness in his feet for having tippy toed for so long. Antonio's only move left was to let the bag of flour fall to the floor. As it came crashing down, a smoke of white filled the air and instantly fogged up the entire kitchen. The crash wasn't loud but sure to have caught the attention of anyone in the apartment, this being his mother who was awfully quiet in her bedroom at the moment. He quickly jumped off the counter and looked inside the flour bag. In it was a zip lock bag with a piece of tape marked Z, Mister Blackstone. Antonio knew what it was immediately. The Z was representative of an ounce. The name Mister Blackstone indicated it was brown heroin. It looked uncut. Rolando had it stashed because he was going to break it down into little bags for selling, or he was going to sell the whole ounce. It was plain to see that no matter which outcome for the drug, he was hiding it from prying hands none the less. The child grabbed the bag and headed out of the kitchen. To his dismay, his mother stood at the entrance watching him. What do you have in your hands? she asked him. Nothing! Antonio fired back. Dont you lie to me. Dont you fucking lie to me. Mildred then rushed him and violently grabbed him by the arm, raising it. She saw the bag and her eyes widened. Let me get it! she screamed at Antonio. Get off of me. he screamed back. The child flailed his arms valiantly wrestling to free himself from

his mothers grip. Just let it go you little shit. she ranted. Antonio was getting scared now. So many times did he see his mother shooting up. So many times did he see the results of the heroin in her system. This was a first. Her maddening attempt to snatch this bag from him in order to get high. It was a different person that had taken over her body. Mom, please, let go of me he begged her. Just drop the bag! she ordered Antonio. The confrontation would then worsen. Mildred raised her hand in the air and brought it down with pure rage, smacking her son in the face. Antonio's head snapped back, his cheek had instantly turned red from the blow. Whatever daze he was in, however fast he was trying to recuperate from the slap was short lived. His mother did it again. It was anger, sadness, humiliation and fear. It was every pent up emotion that Antonio had ever lived with that rose from his stomach and into his eyes, swelling them with tears. He finally pushed his mother and screamed. Get the fuck off of me! Mildred flew backwards into the table and fell to the floor. Antonio had finally struck his own mother. In that instant, Antonio realized he had become the typical man his mother always dealt with throughout her life. The user, cheater, the abuser, and beater. He didn't mean to, nor did he want to. Antonio had no other choice. He was defending himself, fearing for his life. He quickly ran out of the kitchen and into his bedroom and locking the door behind him. Antonio was terrified, crying hysterically. There was really no place to hide. A brain has so much time to react in certain situations. He chose his room, but knew he'd really cornered himself. The only option left was for him to slide underneath his bed and close his eyes. He wanted this day, this particular moment in time to erase itself and just disappear. As he clenched tightly to the bag, Antonio prayed. God, please make her stop, please just make her stop. he repeated over and over. Boom! Mildred banged on the door from outside. Open up this fucking door right now! she yelled. Leave me alone! Antonio screamed as he kept his eyes shut, hiding his head in his arms. Mildred continued banging on the door incessantly. The knocks seemed to echo in Antonio's ears. They were getting louder and louder, harder and harder. His mother stood outside like a crazed lunatic with balled up fists, trying her damndest to get in. Each pound on the door

caused him to flinch in fear and still no definite answer from God. Antonio then covered his ears. He tried anything to block out the horrible sound. Please God, I promise I will do anything, just make her stop. he prayed once again. He was sincere and passionate about his plea. Suddenly, calm came over him. He felt relaxed and unafraid. The banging had stopped like magic. Antonio was young, but he still had some kind of faith in a higher being. He prayed at night before going to bed. Asking for forgiveness on what he was being taught by Rolando. He asked for his mother to get better one day, for his brother to be like any other normal boy. He would follow along with his Grandmother by making the sign of the cross every time they passed Woodlawn Memorial cemetery on a bus ride back to his apartment. He would even go to church with her on occasions, always asked to light the candle after she had made a donation. Antonio felt relieved. For the first time God had truly answered his prayer by bringing light to such a dark cloud that always hovered in his apartment. He slowly began to slide out from under the bed. After all his praying and crying, he looked down at his hand and remembered the reason for all the drama. He still held onto the bag of Mister Blackstone. He wiped the tears from his face and massaged his cheek. Surprisingly, the sting was gone. A faint smile began to form as he stared at the door. Antonio was beginning to feel relaxed when suddenly, the door flew opened by a kick from his mother's foot. She quickly ran into the room grabbing Antonio by his hair and pulling him down to the floor. She then proceeded to finally yank the bag from his hand. "I remember the day I pushed my mom into the table. She was attacking me, trying to get the bag of heroin from my hands. I had never dreamt of talking back to my mother when I was little, let alone put my hands on her. And despite my fucked upbringing, despite my mother being this drug addict, despite the fact that her man was a coward and a piece of shit. I was the one that felt bad that day. It's just that once you raise your hand for the first time, that's all it takes. All respect for that person fails to exist from then on. She took the heroin from me and locked herself in her room. Rolando later found out and dealt with her on his own. Me on the other hand, I was commended for putting up a fight even though she got the bag from me anyway. Rolando saw that I can be trusted, that I had heart to stand up and protect the product. It showed a sense of toughness and character. That I

would get down for mine if I had to. He asked me about my friends, how I felt about them? Whether or not they looked up to me? I told him they would certainly listen. That was good enough. He said it showed leadership qualities. "If they listen, they will do" he said. He thought the whole Thundercats thing was cute. He asked me who else was tough in the group. I told him Jose, Duckie, and Taz. "That's your team" he said. I didn't know what he was talking about. I enjoyed the Thundercats. I thought they were cool as shit back then. I look back now at my life and I see this weird connection I had with the character of Lion-O. You see Lion-O and the rest of the Thundercats were aboard this flagship that was on its way to Third Earth. Being the journey took several decades, they were all in suspended animation inside these capsules. When Lion-O was finally released, he realized he was still a child inside the body of a grown man. I was the opposite. I was becoming this man, still inside the body of a little child. For my twelfth birthday, Rolando gave me an ounce of marijuana already prepared in nickle bags. He said "make it happen". I took it to school. The Thundercats officially had work to do.