Peterson, Thorin 5/15/11 Block 3/7 Bless me Ultima Final Essay

Bless me, Ultima. Bless me, god. Bless me, for I feel unclean. I feel as though I have been rolling about it filth. That every waking minute I spend in a steadfast state of mind, a mind free of growth, a closed mind, is a wasted minute, & a minute spent in ignorance. This is all because of a novel, & I'm sure it's no feat to guess what novel that is. In this novel, a young man by the name of Antonio experiences some of life's rougher experiences. Prominently death, the loss of innocence, sin free of punishment, ridicule, ignorance, & religious turbulence. Raised in a devoutly catholic household for his childhood & adolescence, Antonio only knew of one god, one book, & one faith. This was nearly the be-all, end-all of his life; & yet, in due time his family requires the assistance & expertise of a wise healing woman, known as Ultima. Ultima is...complicated, in her religious standpoints & beliefs to say the absolute least, & these complex principles, opinions, & attitudes towards organized religion rub off on our dear Antonio as the two interact. I think this story, this novel, has the capability to make any reader ponder what they really desire out of religion, why their faith is placed where it is, why it is placed anywhere at all, or even why it is not. It makes me think that things like religion & morals must be gained through life experience. That the strength to stand for your own beliefs, & to formulate those beliefs, is not something that can be taught, but only earned & learned from the self. As Ultima & Antonio began to grow closer, she was the first to expose him to a belief system that was not his own. Being that she was more of what people would think of a druid of sorts. She revered the land, & the spirits, & the cosmos, as deities, as entities. She shared her wisdom with Antonio, & he saw that many of the same moral & ethical values that were taught in the church, were also held up by the alternative beliefs of Ultima. He saw that in the eyes of god, Ultima was no sinner. Yet, she-at times-would be persecuted as though she was. She opened up young Antonio's inquisitive

mind, already informing his mother that he would be a studious man, a scholarly man...of some sort. Ultima sparked his curiosity, his need to learn about things that are foreign, & alien to him, started him along the trail of growth into adulthood. As he grew, he saw the faults of men. He saw people commit sin, wallow in things that the lord, his lord, possibly his former lord at the time. Commit murder & give into temptations. This guided his morals, while encounters with even more alternative faiths (for example the legend of the fabled Golden Carp) continued to guide his...mental religious pilgrimage throughout life. You see, in chapter eleven of this book, Antonio catches sight of the golden carp, the fabled fish. Him & his companion were dumbfounded by it's sheer beauty. This passage represents Antonio's most powerful encounter with a non christian faith. As the carp is a pagan deity, & not a sort of christian god that Antonio would be used to worshiping & seeing worshiped it he feels a bit odd because he is so moved by it's presence. In the passage, his companion, Cico, held his hand to his chest, atop his heart, showing how moving of a sight this is for the boy. This awe is then replicated in Antonio, as the pilgrimage continues to...continue. In the nineteenth chapter of the novel Antonio experiences his first communion, where he prays, he begs god for answers. He needs to know why Narcisco was murdered in cold blood, why lupito died. He had a thousand questions, he received no answers. Or, he received no direct answers from his god. He seemed to resolve to puzzling out these questions himself. Pondering why evil men are allowed to roam & commit their sins, why good men are condemned, why god does not answer when you call for him, why he can see the carp, can see the land & the river, but not god. In chapter twenty two, when Ultima delivers her final blessing unto Antonio, it shows the moral standpoint of not only Ultima, but the novel, and a possibility for Antonio's ultimate demeanor & philosophy. She mentions the rolling hills, gentle wind, & the soft singing of owls. All of these things are beauty in nature, & she tells him that she will be with him, to clear despair from his heart. That through the natural world, strength, will, happiness, can be attained.

In ultimatum (see what I did there? Oh wordplay, so amusing.) I see this book as a chronicling of one boy's growth into manhood, his trials & tribulations, the hurdles he must leap over in his never ending quest for knowledge & truth. A novel that shows that the true answers behind life's questions cannot be discovered, or interpreted, by any one man, one book, or one faith. That one must draw from one thousand sources, to take one more step. That the strength to stand for one's beliefs, must be gathered through life experience.