Marriage OH 1.

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What The Bible Teaches about Marriage
The Heart of Marriage:
Faithfulness
Marriage Course “A”
“Relationships begin
when we fall in love.
Relationships end
when you no longer feel in
love.
So love is central,
but it is rarely fully
understood.
This course will show
how you can each give and
receive
the love you need.
Marriage Course “B”
“Marriage begins
when you publicly promise
lifelong faithfulness. Marriage
ends
when one of you dies.
Faithfulness is central,
but it is rarely understood.
This course will show you
what faithfulness means and
how to be faithful through god
times and bad,
no matter how you feel.
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The Heart of Marriage
is faithfulness
not romantic love that speaks of feelings and desires rather
than commitment
Nothing to do with “falling in (or out of) love”!
At the heart of the Universe is its Creator:
“The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to
anger,
and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness…”
Exodus 34:6
Note the context:
A time of terrible unfaithfulness on the part of the people of
God

To Discuss Marriage involves

Marriage Courses: •Leaving parents, so that husband and wife become “next
“A” Maintaining the Romance of kin” to one another.
“B” Keeping Faithful
•Holding fast to each other
Which course do you feel attracted to more? Note:
Why? Distinguish Sexual desire (physical drive) from passionate
Which course suggests a more Christian approach to bonding (heart’s union)
Marriage? “Holding fast” a word that combines passion with
Why’? permanence
Faithfulness results in a “one flesh” union, a joining done by God.
Distinguish:
Every married couple is joined by God
Romantic love (emotional feelings and wishful dreams)
whether or not they are Christians,
from
whether or not they are married in church,
faithful commitment (loyalty and determination)
whether or not they are thought “compatible”,
whether or not the motivation is “good”,
“The Heart of Marriage is The Heart of The
even if the marriage is a “marriage of convenience”!
Universe.”
The Heart of The Universe is Faithfulness The Bible shows no interest in the precise ceremonies or
in Bible terms: “faithful love” or “steadfast love” celebrations
 that begin married life. a unit to be used by God in loving service in his world.
Isaac brought Rebekah into the tent of Sarah his (deceased) Why Prostitution is Wrong
mother To go with a prostitute is to do something that is intended
and took Rebekah, and she became his wife… by God to make two into a new family unit.
Genesis 24:67 But that is not the intention of someone going to a
The marriage feast of Cana did not follow after a synagogue prostitute.
service; So sex is being used for a very different purpose from God’s
the feast was the marriage and probably included some purpose. 1 Cor 6:12-20
simple vows…
John 2 Why Divorce is Wrong
3 One flesh union is what God has joined together.
To Discuss So breaking up a marriage is tearing apart something
potentially beautiful made by God.
What is it that makes a wedding a valid
marriage? Tearing Apart
•The exchange of presents? • Neither husband nor wife should put career, comfort,
personal fulfilment or their own
•The vows made in public? desires before their marriage. So doing amounts to
•The prayers? tearing up what God has made
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•The feast?
• Neither should parents tear apart the marriages of their
•The intentions of the couple? children by interfering,
•True love between bride and groom? or not giving them space to grow together and develop
this new family unit.
•Consummation
If a couple afterwards?
consent in public to be married, then they are
joined together by God. • Neither should employers or bosses do anything to
damage the marriages of their
The wonder of Marriage: employees or juniors.
Human and divine intention become one.
To Discuss:
One Flesh People view the institution of marriage in different ways.
To be “joined together by God” is the same as what Genesis
means by being “one flesh”: •Some see marriage as a sacrament
A new family unit, built around the faithful exclusive sexual •Others as a contract
union of husband and wife.
God’s purpose for sex is to make this new family unit by
•Others as a covenant
What is the difference?
marriage How do you see marriage?

Marriage: A Covenant
Marriage is not a contract that can be conveniently broken
and a fresh contract made
between different persons.
Rather it is a covenant witnessed by God.
A covenant is a relationship
• That the parties to it have chosen
• That has certain obligations where each has made
certain promises to the other and
entered into commitments
o That are binding on both parties
o For all time.
This covenant relationship in marriage reflects
the covenant relationship between God and his people,
as the marriage relationship generally reflects God’s love
for his chosen people.
In Ezekiel 16:8 God the Divine Husband says to “Jerusalem”
His bride,
“I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with
you… and you became mine!”
God is faithful to His covenant and He calls us to be faithful
in ours.
So when God’s people are unfaithful to Him,
it is not surprising that their unfaithfulness is duplicated in
their own marriages.
Unfaithfulness to God carries over into unfaithfulness in
marriages.
5 Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?
Malachi 2:13-14
2You cover the Lord’s altar with tears…
because he no longer regards the offering…
But you say, ‘Why does he not?’
Because the Lord was witness
between you and the wife of your youth
to whom you have been faithless,
though she is your companion
and your wife by covenant.”
The Lord was a witness to each marriage that took place
among His people.
He reminds each man of “The wife of his youth”:
She is his “companion” joined to him, his friend, the one
who goes through life with him.
And she is his “wife by covenant”
Marriage: A Sexual Covenant
“The wife of your youth” has sexual associations.
For it echoes Proverbs 5:17-21 wherethe young husband is
warned against infidelity
(through prostitution or adultery)
and encouraged to go on taking sexual delight in the wife of
his youth.
A Sexual Covenant: Right Delight
“Let your streams of water by yours alone, never to be
shared with strangers.
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the
wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer – may her breasts satisfy you
always,
may you always be captivated by her love…
Proverbs 5:17-19
A Sexual Covenant: Wrong Desire
…Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord,
and He examines all his paths.”
Proverbs 5:20-21
Remember Joseph’s answer to Potihar’s wife:
 “My master has entrusted to me everything – except you!
Why should I do this wicked thing and sin against God?”
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Furthermore it means a relationship with God as witness.
God is present when the promises are made.
He holds each of the parties responsible to keep their
promises.
If either party brakes them, they are answerable to Him.
Why did God not listen to the men’s prayers in Malachi’s
day?
Because they had broken their marriage covenants
and He was holding them to account.
The heart of marriage is faithfulness that excludes rivals for
life.
In friendship three are company, and four even better
company.
But in the sexual relationship anything more than two is
adultery.
Scripture consistently condemns adultery as a very serious
sin.
The Seeds of Unfaithfulness
For married couples:
If you find yourself attracted to a neighbour, a friend, or a
work colleague in a romantic, physical or emotional way,
ask yourself:
• Can I talk to my life partner (spouse) about this
relationship? If not why not?
• What does God think about it?
Am I keeping 100% to His commands in this matter (as
found in Scripture)?
Beware any relationship that is:
• secretive (“don’t tell anyone-else about ‘us’”)
• exclusive (“just between the two of us”)
• absorbing all your thoughts and imagination (day-
dreaming)
Adultery is Wrong because:
• It is a turning away from a promise eating forbidden fruit
without any sense of breaking covenant
“This is the way of an adulteress:
She eats and wipes her mouth
And says, ‘I have done no wrong,’
- Pro 30:20
• It is secretive and dishonest, shrinking from publicity.
“The eye of the adulterer… waits for the twilight,
saying, ‘No eye will see me’; and he veils his face.”
- Job 24:15
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Note also:
Adultery
• Hurts children “in the intimacy of the family home
broken by cheating on promises,
darkened by secrecy and lies, riven with conflict and
hatred.” – C.A.
• Leads the adulterer himself from security to chaos
• Destroys the moral fabric of the adulterer’s life
• Damages society, “keeping company with adulterers”
leads eventually to approving their
behaviour (- Ps 50:18)
God’s Faithfulness:
1. Faithfulness in marriage is modelled on the faithfulness
of God
who makes covenant promises as the “bridegroom” of His
people, His “bride”.
The story in the Bible of God’s marriage is
the story of one utterly faithful spouse married to one
persistently faithless spouse,
 a story showing the misery of adultery and the wonder of Because God is always faithful to us, we can be faithful to
costly faithfulness one another,
Hosea gives a vivid picture of this loyalty: forgiving where necessary, because of all that He has
His wife has hurt him abominably, deserting him and having forgiven us.
affairs with rival after rival. And yet he takes her back with
loving tenderness. The Heart of Marriage
He will make the “valley of Trouble” into a “door of Hope” - is Faithfulness
Hosea 2:14-15
2. Faithfulness in marriage comes from the faithfulness of
God
who pours his grace into us,
offering us the moral resources necessary to build a
marriage,
resources we do not have ourselves.
We cannot be faithful by our own strength!
Faithfulness & Forgiveness
How to live with ongoing troubles in relationships: Forgive
70 x 7
Cf Parable of the unforgiving servant
The point: “You really must forgive. Forgiveness is very
important”?
The real point:
We need to understand the huge debt we have been
forgiven if we are disciples of Christ
Marriage is not easy for any couple.
Conflict is hard to resolve and hurts are hard to forgive.
We lack the moral resources to solve our problems in our
own strength.
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But once we know the forgiveness that Jesus Christ offers
we find God’s grace pours into our hearts out of gratitude
Husbands and wives can forgive each other when they
remember that
God is ever the faithful lover of His people.
If we are grateful to Him, we can forgive one another.