HOW TO BUILD A BEAUTIFUL HOME 01 LAYING A SOLID FOUNDATION

"I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to Her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: "Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, He turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation. His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!" Want to revisit the family. Ive already said about all I know but I think we need to be reminded. Not easy in this world. Everyone wants a beautiful home but it doesnt happen automatically Three things to get us started.

Unless God builds the home you labor in vain. Hes the architect. Next you need a clear set of plans.

II. Get a Clear Set of Plans

Unfortunately marriage doesnt come with an instruction manual. Because of that people tend ot make it up as they go along. They look for clues from popular culture or friends. Hey, the architect gave us the blueprint for a successful life. Its called the bible. Joshua 1:8 "This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. This is your plan. Read it. Learn it. Apply it. Thats the focus of this study. So lets apply it and get that third essential element of necessary for a beaufitul home. A solid foundation.

III. Lay a solid foundation

The seminal passage is Gen. 2:24.

I. Consult the architect

Psalms 127:1 A Song of Ascents, of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain. I was out with a friend yesterday in a small caf down in Crowville eating breakfast. A family of five came in and sat in the middle of the room. Dad, mom, three beautiful children. You could tell they enjoyed each others company. It was a strong healthy family. Then they bowed and held hands and prayed. I was talking to another guy and the father of that family recognized my voice and asked if I preached on the radio. We talked for a while about his church and faith. I told my friend, You know, the church is the only place any more where you can find a family like that.

Genesis 2:24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. The foundation for a beautiful home is unity. Gods plan for a solid family starts with a unified foundation. Two shall become one flesh. To get there you will have to deal with two gigantic hurdles.

First big problem, It takes two to make one

How do you get one person out of two? Particularly when you are talking about taking a woman and making her one with a man. What was God thinking? Men and women are so different. My all time favorite story is the one with Roger and Elaine. Ive shared it before, but you forgot it so lets remember it and smile together.

My favorite story. Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: ...so that means it was... let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting

like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90day warranty... scumbags. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. "Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (she breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says Roger. "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. "It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Elaine says. (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) "Yes," he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine. "Oh," says Roger. "Yes."(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) "Thank you, Roger," she says. "Thank you," says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her

bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?" There you have it: the difference between men and women. Too funny. We are different. More than just sexual. Differ in our personality types. We differ in our gift mix. We differ in our background and experiences. How can we overcome this enormous problem? Remember that your mate completes you See it like God sees it. Your mate isnt the same for a reason. He or she completes you. You complete me. View your mate as a gift Proverbs 19:14 says that House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers . . . That means that a wise father can provide materially for his offspring. But listen to the second half of that verse, But a prudent wife is from the Lord! (SLIDE) Dads can help with some things, but only God can give you a wife or husband.

Baby, Im gods gift to you. Honey, you are gods gift to me. If you dont have a mate, pray for your mate right now. We pray for our sons future mates. Second problem. This one is huge too. Unity doesnt happen all at once. We want instant results.

Second problem, Becoming one is a lifetime work

Have you ever heard this phrase? And they lived happily ever after. What does that imply? First, the happiness was immediate. Second the happiness was complete Third, the happiness was permanent.

They immediately grew together. They never experienced any troubles. And they never considered breaking up. That is why they call that a fairy tale ending. It doesnt happen. In real life you dont immediately bond. In fact after the honeymoon you will have to find a way to work things out.

Growing into oneness is a lifetime work. The two shall become one. They arent automatically one. This is why commitment is so important. Man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. The old Jewish word is dawbak. It meant, To stick. You glue to your wife. Permanent glue. The bond isnt happiness or love. Its commitment. I often hear people say, Im just not happy. That wasnt in the commitment. I promise to love honor cherish in sickness and in health in adversity and prosperity and to be true and loyal to you so long as we both shall live. The word happy wasnt in it. I think happiness comes. But sometimes you wont be happy. You wont be in love. Romantically you might not feel it. Commitment holds you together until the unity happens. When you pour a foundation for your house you have timbers that hold the cement in place until the slab forms. Pull them out

and you get a mess. Imagine trying to form a slab without forms. Or forms that arent committed until the work is done. OH, Im tired of this. Im out of here. The whole thing falls apart. Commitment is the form to your slab. Unfortunately, unity doesnt happen overnight. It takes a lifetime. When the unity happens. You get the byproducts of love and happiness and all the good things you want. And your foundation is rock solid.