Season of Life - "A Journey to Manhood" - Marx

Lessons for Building Men:

False Masculinity
"If you don't get some kind of a clear, compelling definition of masculinity at home, then you're pretty much left at the mercy of this society and their message of masculinity" Where? Movies, songs, friends, TV, games No Intament Connection "I don't care," I don't need ", "too hard," "not fun," Heroes Heroes are cool and what you want to be Sexual Conquest Sex seems to validate maturity Boys that can bring girls around them are the ones that means to be a man A macho man is one that gets action with girls, and those not might be shameful The bible says that any sexual activity outside of marriage is fornication (sinful) The world says the more you can get the more of a may you are. A married man that cheats on his wife everyone views as wrong With that principle we can push for no sex outside of marriage. Economic Success Some start measuring masculinity based of Job titles, cars, bank accounts, money We need to compare ourselves to others All of these can summed up by some type of measure of success. Compare and compete: It leaves most men feeling isolated and alone

Relationships make a real Man

Typical male over the age of thirty-five has what psychologists would say is less that 1 genuine friend

Not one friend he can reveal his true self and share his deepest most intimate thoughts Men want the women to work on relationship. Men want no responsibility toward working on a relationship. Boys feel like they must put forth a faade. No relationship is worth an intament relation. We can talk about sports, social network, movies, TV, sexual exploits, but I can not talk abut feelings This encourages you to always hide your self. If you are hiding things you can give your full self Modeling a man - In order to be a man, you need to see a man Relationships matter more thank anything else On 9/11 the people on the plane that made phone calls: They did not brag on themselves, call their broker, smile on wealth, no false masculinity They called someone they had a relationship with and said "I love you"

Working for a transient Cause

Importance of having a cause beyond oneself Where does someone find meaning? Where does one find value? Where does one find purpose? You can't go through this world about your own self-existence, self-concern, and all self-focus stuff. There must be a greater cause that pushes you to success. If you do not have a greater cause you will never be all you can be. If you do not have a greater cause you will only achieve to your own ability and not above it. We must break the mold of "Compare and Compete" - Life is more than that How do you find cause when the world value system yells to please yourself first?

Accepting Responsibility
You can not be the man you should be if you act on the 3 zero tolerance rules: 1. No Alcohol, No Drugs, No acting selfishly with girls, looking for self satisfaction You must think of others first. All of the above are self seeking. You are responsible for your decisions and choices. Do not place the blame on environment, situation, hard times, desires, or any other factor except self. Take responsibility for the choices and decisions you make. Do not play the blame game. Cut out the "victim" mentality
Even if people walk out on you and you loose things in your life, you still have to accept responsibility on actions

No one grows up in a perfect family life. Do not look for excuses How do you help a boy who's father has walked out on him? Patience and perseverance

Season of Life - "A Journey to Manhood" - Marx

Lessons for Building Men:

Be responsible for what we do.

Leading Courageously
Impact coaches lead by affirming their players Coaches give players the opportunity to be better along with the encouragement. Impact men make on boys by either affirming them or shaming them. Give players an opportunity to expend maximum effort. Instill in players a "No Regret" attitude How do you want players to look back on you? Would they call on you for guidance or comfort? It takes great courage to lead in the right direction. Stick to the right values Go against the flow. The flow is what is best for me or I. Go against that concept. To teach this concept it has to be modeled by coaches. My children learn more from seeing what I do. Hold kids responsible for their decisions. Let them know that everyone is watching them. Leaders should stick to the right values.

Enacting justice on behalf of others

Be a MAN built for others You decide that everyone will be treated fairly and strive to achieve that for them. You do not just play for yourself you play for everyone. You have developed your character. Integrity is hard. Putting the desires of others in front of your own (this eliminates taunting and self praise) Integrity - telling the truth, doing what's right, having honor. People will know if you have same integrity in every situation: When time is good or bad You work as hard on Monday as a Thursday. You play hard against an athletic team or less athletic You have the same integrity when others praise you or taunt and degrade you When you find yourself in a position of power: You can be a man built for others, which is all about effort and empathy For those with no voice, no position, no privilege, no power, no authority, you be those things for them Seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow Justice in ALL relationships Figure out what is right or wrong: then act upon it. Wherever there is injustice, we ought to show up , stand up, and speak up. Assume my responsibilities and to act courageously and to enact justice. Stay focused

Or you can just walk around acting like you're better than everyone else, arrogance, indifference

Empathy
Life is Hard Looking at others are realizing life is hard for me and life is hard for others. You did not get here on your on. People have labored to help you be who you are today. You can't go through this world about your own self-existence, self-concern, and all self-focus stuff. When we play for a cause we must contemplate the end. When you die what do you want to leave behind The number one need for humanity to see and feel the world through the eyes of others. If you can not see this you are nothing more than an animal. - self preservation and power You must understand the amount of suffering of others. Bad things are happening in this Nation on a regular basis. Mainly because of a lack of concern for others and a major emphasis on self. What do the players need, not what they deserve. players to learn, what do my teammates need from me?