Participation in Discussions* Participating in group discussions is a critical lifelong skill.

How do you get your voice heard without alienating others? How do you challenge ideas that are patently stupid? Here are a few ideas to get you started. 1. First of all, begin with an honest self-assessment of where you fit on a talking continuum:

Borderline selective mutism

Verbally flat as a pancake Animated as a bowl of pudding

Perfect

Can verbally hang with Chris Rock

Robin Williams cant get a word in

2. Next, constantly, consciously, deliberately work to move up and down on the continuum, wherever you need to be. This will be more difficult than anything you have ever done, because it involves changing a major behavior. 3. If you are a quiet, introverted person, set a goal to make one comment every x number of minutes or x comments an hour. If you find yourself having trouble getting a word in edgewise and others jump to fill in voids too quickly, raise your hand, be still, and wait. This will signify to others that you have something to say. 4. If you are a talkative, extroverted person, limit yourself to x number of comments per hour. Ask yourself Has my voice dominated the discussion today? Who else do we need to hear from? Then, if you feel compelled to speak again and have spoken a lot, instead of sharing your ideas, you can say to your classmates Brad, Angelina, did you have anything you wanted to add to the discussion? 5. Remember, self-monitoring and self-reinforcement work well to change behavior. So, set goals for yourself, count your comments with a tally system, and reward yourself with homework-free evening or Dairy Queen sundaes if you meet your participation goals. 6. Some comments are more useful and move the discussion forward more than others. For example, comments that end in questions are powerful (I thought the authors idea to state x was ludicrous; what do you all think?). Likewise, comments that reference the reading, or at least facts, are more useful than personal testimony (I was spanked and I turned out ok). Its not that you cant share personal testimony, but you need to work to connect it with broader ideas or something deeper that others can discuss. 7. In addition to self-monitoring, peer monitoring is a powerful tool. So, we will set up a buddy system in which pairs will meet to set individual discussion group goals and ways to help monitor each other. 8. Try to make connections between this class and others, or one chapter text and the next. 9. We are having a discussion, not a riot. Likewise, you are going to be psychologists, not lawyers. Therefore, we dont need to win arguments or

verbally smash each other like bad pumpkins. Work instead to listen, support others, and build bridges in conversations. 10. Life, and its key ideas, does not have to be either/or. It can be both/and. Look for ideas you agree with (and state that you do agree with them!) as well as ideas you dont. 11. If you dont know, say something really cool and creative, like I dont know. You do not have to have the answer to all lifes questions, and those answers you think you have should be tentative and always open to revision with new information. 12. It is not up to me to make group discussions go well. So, dont look at me for answers or reassurance that you are doing well. Also, make eye contact with everyone in the room, not just me. 13. As we are nearing the end of the class period, look for opportunities to summarize what we have discussed.

*Based on Brookfield (1995) and Weimer (2002), developed by DeDe Wohlfarth, Psy.D., Spalding University