Allyson Lundell Loumeau D343 Somatics 7 September 2011 Pat Debenham But, Why?

Moving my four-year old legs as fast as I can, I race down the hallway heading straight for my parents room. Just as I reach the door, I slam on my internal breaks and stop abruptly, turn and gallop the opposite direction. My destination is the top of the stairs, where I originally began my movement pathway. I love the speed, the levels, the exhilarating taste of complete liberty throughout my body. This is my first memory of embracing the fact that I can move. My parents always told me how I would dance through my days as a young child, differently than any of my siblings. My brother and sisters walked and ran, but I moved. By the age of two, my mother had enrolled me in a dance class, and since then, dance has become second nature to my body. I have always had the sense of power within my physical self. Even though I was always the little one growing up and still am, my mesomorphic body exudes athleticism and strength. As a result, my dancing is usually grounded and confident. Imagery, a tool I now realize to be very useful, was quite absent in my early years of moving. I had the ability to hold positions because of my musculature. As a result, I believe that I failed to develop fluidity and core-distal qualities in my technique. You were born to be a dancer, my mother would often tell me. This was accompanied by constant encouragement to be the best, almost as if nothing less was acceptable. I was consistently picked out from a group of dancers at every recital, convention, or competition and told that I stood out above all the rest. Unfortunately, this

influenced the meaning of dance for me. By middle school, I was dancing mainly to receive praise and approval, not to fulfill a burning desire. The functionalexpressive relationship in dance and movement was lost on me as I took my body through sequences, striving purely for technical perfection. Once puberty hit, my world was turned upside down. The blessings of womanly curves seemed a curse. I had always maintained incredible flexibility, extensions, and balance. However, mother nature had different plans. The obstacle of discovering and adapting to new physical features was magnified in my journey through adolescence. I slowly learned how to identify and utilize my core. After returning to this fundamental, I was able to understand my body on a new level. I was easing into womanhood, and it wasnt bad, it was just different. From high school and into my college years, I have continuously discovered many new and interesting things about this physical body that I have been given. I am so grateful for it, and the opportunities it has provided me, especially in dance. I do not always understand my physical world, and I know that I have so much more to learn about my body and how it interacts with the outside environment. After twenty-two years, I still struggle with the stereotypes and molds that society puts my body in. However, my life experience so far has taught me to embrace what I have been offered. As quickly as I accept difficulties and opportunities, I am able to succeed and find fulfillment.