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Attending Skills
The attending cluster consist of the following Skills: A Posture of Involvment Appropriate Body Motion Eye Contact Creating a Nondistrcting Enviroment

Bolton, in his book People Skills (1979), describes attending as giving all of your physical attention to another person. The process of attending, whether you realize it or not, has a considerable impact on the quality of communication that goes on between two people. For example, by attending you are saying to the other person "I am intersted in what you have to say", however, a lack of good attending communicates that "I really don't care about what you have to say." The body can be used as a tool to facilitate good communication. This is done through positioning the parts of the body so that they invite and hold an interpersonal relation. A relaxed alertness expressed by body posture seems best suited for fostering good communication.

Bolton offers these suggestions to establish a posture of involvment:

Lean toward the speaker. This will communicate energy and attentiveness. Face the other squarly (i.e., your right sholuder to the speakers left). This communicates your involvment. It is especially important for you to position yourself so that you are at eye level with the speaker if you are seen as a authority figure. This will circumnavigate feelings of threat and can greatly aid in forming an interpersonal relationship. Maintaining an open posture is also important for fostering interpersonal relatedness. A closed posture (i.e., crossed arms and or legs) often communicates coldness and defensiveness. You also need to be aware of your proximity to the speaker. We all have a concept of "personal space." When those boundaries are crossed it puts the other on the defensive and makes them feel uncomfortable. However, to much distance communicates aloofness and disconectedness.

Body motion, it's a funny thing! Have you ever paid attention to what your hands were doing during the course of a conversation? Some of us simply shove them in our pockets or let them hang aimlessly by our sides. Then there are others, like me, who tend to fling them around as if to place some kind of emphasis on each word! There is such a thing as too little and too much. Body motion is good but it can be over done if you are not careful. The purpose of gesturing when you are listening is to encourage the speaker to continue speaking. This can most

easily be done with a periodic head nod. A good listener moves his or her body in response to the speaker. Effective eye contact says that you are visually attuned to what the speaker is saying. Good eye contact involves focusing on the speakers face and occasionally shifting the focus to other parts of the body. The key is that the other is aware that they have your attention because your eyes are "on them". Good eye contact should seem natural to the other person. What ever you do, don't "stare them down." This makes you seem anxious and sometimes critical of them. The environment where the communication takes place is also an important factor in whether an interpersonal relationship can be formed. It is not always posible to move the conversation into a private room or office, but every attempt should be made to reduce the number of distractions that are present. In his book, The Skilled Helper (1998), Gerad Egan offers what he has labled the Micro Skills of Attending. The are very close to the infomation I have presented above from Bolton's People Skills. He has developed the following acronym to help counseling students remeber these vital skills in communication. S - face the client squarly O- have an open posture L- lean into the conversation E- eye contact R- be relaxed

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Attending Skills
Author: Anna Aengel - Updated: 7 December 2010 |

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In order to build a firm foundation in any supportive or caring client-counsellor/therapist relationship strong, clearly defined attending skills must be in evidence. These are skills that require being in attendance in the present, in any situation, and means that a counsellor is giving their full attention, and listening, to the client at all times.

The Meaning of Attending

Attending means being in the company of someone else and giving that person your full attention, to what they are saying or doing. In a one-to-one counselling relationship this is the supportive service that a counsellor must provide. Failure to do this will mean the client is not being supported fully, and may not feel able to disclose or make progress. Attending also means a counsellor must pay attention to everything a client says and does. This includes reading the clients body language and also taking into consideration all the silences and pauses in the conversation. Actively listening not only conveys information, but also encourages the client to continue talking.

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How to Attend
To begin and maintain attendance a counsellor must first welcome the client warmly. Making him/her feel comfortable, in the counselling environment, will make the client feel more relaxed about disclosing personal information about their emotions, feelings and thoughts. By maintaining eye contact with the client, a counsellor shows they value what the client has to say. Looking at the client, as they speak, also shows the counsellor is respectful. A counsellor should also be aware of the tone of their voice, during time in the clients presence. Slowing down speech will make the client feel more relaxed and less rushed. It will convey that the counsellor has adequate time to listen to the clients problems and concerns. The counsellors facial expressions must also convey interest and comprehension. Tracking, or following the flow of what the client is saying, is a key skill that the counsellor must also be confident demonstrating. Without the ability to do this a counsellor will not be able to provide the level of supportive service a counselling client requires.

Selective Attending
By selective attending a counsellor is choosing to pay particular close attention to an element of what is being said by the client. The counsellor may decide to focus on the way the client is speaking whether they are displaying distress, discomfort, anger etc or on a particular phrase or sentence. A counsellor may be listening out for clues to why the client exhibits a particular behaviour pattern or holds limiting beliefs, or any number of other things. It is the counsellors job to gather as much information about a client as possible, and to interpret the disclosure so that they can support and encourage the individual through the counselling process.

Focus Control
Controlling your focus can sometimes be difficult. We are all open to outside distractions and can momentarily lose our concentration and focus. Attending requires that a counsellors physical and psychological attention is directed at the client for the whole duration of the one-to-one counselling session.

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Active Listening Skills

Author: Anna Aengel - Updated: 25 December 2010

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Active listening and responding appropriately are two of the key skills a counsellor or therapist must apply during one-to-one counselling sessions with a client. Being able to communicate effectively is an important requirement, in any type of therapeutic counselling work. Understanding the importance of these skills, and being able to apply them accordingly, is a valuable asset for a career in counselling.

Quality and Quantity

To help clients to improve the quality of their lives, by working through their problems and issues and making positive changes, a counsellor must demonstrate an interest in the clients life their wellbeing, problems and difficulties. It is the counsellors responsibility to give their client their full, undivided, attention throughout the duration of the one-to-one counselling session.

The Importance of Listening

Listening makes the person who is talking feel worthy, appreciated and respected. When we give someone all of our attention the speaker responds positively by interacting on a deeper level, perhaps by disclosing personal information or by becoming more relaxed. When a counsellor pays particular attention to what the client is saying they are encouraging the client to continue talking, as well as ensuring communication remains open and positive. Related on The Counsellors Guide...

How to Avoid Burnout as a Counsellor Understanding Personality Theories Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Humanistic Approach to Counselling

In the same way as there are different ways of listening, there is also more than one way of speaking that demonstrates a person is really listening to what is being said.

Active Participation
Active listening requires more than just listening to what a client says. It involves taking an interest in the other person, making sure they are comfortable about disclosing personal information and providing support and understanding. It also requires that a counsellor also takes into account the body language that is being displayed, and also the tone, speed and pitch of voice. Counsellors must also demonstrate active listening by employing the various techniques throughout their counselling relationship with the client. These include:

Facing the client. Sitting straight or leaning forwards to show attentiveness is also useful. Maintaining eye contact shows the speaker you are interested in them and what they have to say. Responding appropriately, by um-hmming, eyebrow raising and supplying other more direct responses, prompts the client to continue talking. Focusing solely on what the client is saying will enable the counsellor to follow the logical flow of the conversation with ease. Only ask questions for clarification. The less a counsellor speaks the more a client should.

Reflective Listening
This is the process of restating what has just been said, so that the client understands that you have clearly heard what they have disclosed. It is confirmation that a counsellor validates the client, by acknowledging what is being said, and by providing further opportunity to talk. Paraphrasing when a counsellor offers a concise statement of the clients message is another useful tool.

Blocks to Listening
Whilst actively listening, it is important that a counsellor stops any other kind of distraction. This includes the natural dialogue that everyone has running through their mind constantly. Forming judgments, regarding what is being said, is also a block to actively listening, as is the urge to provide information at, what may be, an inappropriate pause in the conversation. The counsellor must be aware of their listening habits at all times, and must continue to check they are supporting the client in the most appropriate way.