Good Vs. Evil and All That Jazz by Phillip McSween He wouldnt get away this time.

Slither had found himself saying that a lot over the past six years. Everytime it had been a lie. He would always getclose. So close it made him sick to think about it after the fact. He wouldnt eat for days. But optimism. Optimism was the way of life for the superhero. It had to be in order for them to truly succeed. It wasnt all about the gratification of saving lives. That was only part of it. More than anything, it was about learning to get over and move past the lives they werent able to save. Learning to stay optimistic even when they were far from achieving their goal. It wasnt easy, but, then again, neither was mostly anything about being a superhero. It was funny how things worked out. Slither had been on the trail of Underoo (a kangaroo-man that did his crimes wearing nothing but a pair of Fruit of the Looms) when the Jazz Giant had suddenly burst back on to the scene terrorizing the city of Wordam as if he had never left. Slither had begun to pursue his arch-nemesis immediately. Initially, the trail had gone cold, but, after a trip to the inner city and some hard questioning of a few low-class underdealers, he had been tipped off to JGs whereabouts. The supervillain was hiding out in a rundown club that had been closed just five months ago. And here Slither was. He wouldnt get away this time. Slither dropped from the tree, his shoes not making so much as the slightest of sounds when they hit the grass. His form-fitted rubber suit shifted from blue to red to a reddish-orange underneath the moonlight as he sprinted across the vacated street. He was like a shadow dodging in and out, moving from one tree to another then to a wooden fence

about ten yards to the right of the club. His movements were so graceful, so deftthe movements of a man who had been in the business for almost twenty years. He frowned inwardly. Had it really been seventeen years? His heart had been so determined on finding JG that the other eleven years before that seemed like a blur. He wondered if Briana was still awake right now. The twins were undoubtedly asleep, but Briana, one could never be so sure. Slither had come home late many a night to find the living room television still on with no one watching. His only evidence: animal cracker crumbs on the couch. She was a sneaky one that Briana was. Just like her father. Focus, Slither! He cant get away this time. Neither light nor sound came from inside the club. Nothing had changed since he had been scouting from the tree. He was starting to think that they were no longer there or rather they had been at one time but had somehow caught wind of him and had given him the slip. No, that couldnt be it. Nothing could slip past him. If anyone was doing the slipping, it was him. Slither was the best at what he did. Was he really? If he was so great, how was it that his greatest adversary kept managing to slip through his fingers? Could it be that while he was a great superhero, JG was an even greater supervillain? Slither took those thoughts and placed them in another part of his mindthe part where he was only human. Even the best made mistakes. The true test of life was taking those mistakes and learning from them. He cantnot this time. He edged around the side of the building up to the double doors of the front entrance. He paused when his hand touched the doorknob. He could feel his chest tightening up. He tried to calm the rapid beating of his heart. This was it. Whatever awaited

him on the other side of that door was apart of his destiny. It wasnt just about tonight. It was about the rest of his life. It had been way too long for him. In the race to achieve his lifes purpose, it seemed he had but one more hurdle to jump. It was now or never. After this, there would be no more jumping. Of course the door was locked. He went to the bracelet attached to his right sleeve and pulled forth a tiny pick. A simple twist, turn, and pull and the lock was released, the click that followed sounding louder than he wanted it to. No Jazz Giant awaited him on the other side. No thugs. No missing diamonds. Only darkness. Slither allowed his eyes a chance to get adjusted to the darkness, then took a cautious step inside. He made sure his knuckles and fingertips were exposedthe sources of his power. One step too close and his enemies had the choice of either paralysis or death. Unfortunate for them that the choice wasnt their decision. It seemed it wouldnt be Slithers decision either, at least not this night. All he could make out were about a dozen tables scattered about with chairs gathered around them, a long bar off to the left, and an empty stage at the end of the room about seventyfive feet away. There was no one in sight, not so much as one thug. Slither balled his partially-gloved fist. I shouldve known, he looked down at his shoes in disappointment. He turned to leave. It appeared he had gotten some wrong information. Even worse, the informant was probably on his way out of town by now which meant Slither wouldnt have the chance to question him again. He shouldve known the man was lying. Now he was going to have to start from scratch

He spun around suddenly when he heard a loud switching sound, his eyes narrowing. In the center of the stage was a solitary spotlight. He edged closer making sure to keep track of his surroundings. Something was amidst and he was about to be caught right in the middle of it. Good evening ladies and gentlemen! A deep voice boomed into a microphone from behind the curtain. Slither tensed up. There was no mistaking the Jazz Giants voice. Id like to thank all of you for comin out tonight! For those of you that dont know, this will be our final performance. Slither looked around to make sure he wasnt going crazy. Yep, just him. Without further ado, I present to you me the Jazz Giant and the Blackbird Cronies! Slither wouldve felt bad that no clapping followed if JG hadnt been one of the most vile thugs on Earth. Two more spotlights flicked on as the shimmering, azure curtain rolled away. The Blackbird Cronies were dressed in all black with berets to match. On the left of the stage a man was handling his business on drums. To the right, four more men utilized a trumpet, saxophone, double bass, and guitar. Each of them were exceptionally good at their craft. You had to be if you wanted to play for the Jazz Giant. Exceptional musicians to turn into exceptional criminals, that was who he recruited. As exceptional as they were, however, none of them compared to the musical talent of JG himself. As he sat center stage singing Billie Holidays God Bless the Child, his massive hands worked themselves effortlessly across the keys of the baby grand, doing a dance they had done one million times over. Each dance was perfection. One look at the man and no one would ever guess that music was his life. His 66 heavyset frame made the piano literally look like a baby in comparison. His blue hair

reminded Slither of Einsteins famous afro. His black complexion was the same tone as the body of the piano. He wore his famous coat made from lions fur which draped off the back of the bench he was sitting upon. The head of the lion rested at the base of JGs neck while the paws were connected to the end of the big mans sleeves. The music flowed smoothly with no flaws. Slither always found it comical to watch JGs large head sway to the music. One might have had their doubts upon first seeing him, but, once the Jazz Giant laid his hands on an instrumentany instrumentthere could be no denying that music was his passion. It was a pity that someone with so much talent would turn to a life of crime. Just more confirmation that the world they lived in was crazy and all mixed up. As much as he wouldnt have minded standing there and reveling in the music, Slither had business to take care of. He took a few steps forward and the crony playing the trumpet hopped down from off stage. The rest of the band didnt lose a step despite the fact that one of their members had stopped playing. The crony pulled the trumpet apart and tossed the horn and the rest of the front end behind him. With the press of a button, sparks shot from the piece he was holding. Slither grinned. A trumpet taser. Cute. The superhero dodged the mans lunge with ease and, with two fingertips, jabbed the crony lightly in the side of the neck. He could feel the poison escape from his body like a hard gasp of air. The man dropped to his knees almost instantly frothing at the mouth. Slither kept moving determined to reach his target. He had to get to JG before he took off again. He couldnt get away this time.

The man with the double bass jumped down next running at Slither full speed, his instrument raised high. Slither waited patiently for the mans arrival, then, at the last possible second, dropped to a knee and jabbed the crony twice in the lower torso with his fingertips. The bass crashed to the ground as the man clutched at his stomach, the pain written all over his face. A kick to the side of his face finished him off, knocking his beret off in the process. Next, it was the drummer boys turn. The band played on becoming even more animated as the drummer brought his sticks together length-wise. When he pulled them apart, they were still connected by a short length of thin rope. He began spinning them wildly about his body in nunchuk fashion. Slither was mildly amused. As they engaged in combat, however, he was slightly more amused. The crony was obviously more talented with his weapon than the other two, about as talented as he was on the drums. Probably on his way to a promotion, Slither thought to himself. Slither whirled about, barely moving out of harms way as the man rushed him with drumsticks flying. Despite the cronys talent, Slither kept the perfect cool. Repetition and success gave him the confidence in his abilities that kept his face a blank slate. He knew that time was on his side. All it took was one touch The crony stopped suddenly and clutched instinctively at his ear. He looked at Slither with shocked eyes. The superhero knew what the thug was probably thinking at that point. How did he get to me so fast? How can one touch cause so much pain? I thought I had himHe crashed face down on one of the tables, his weight causing the legs to break. As Slither reached the dance area in front of the stage, JG and the remaining cronies were bringing their song to a close. The final chord struck, JG got to his feet, his massive

size blotting out the piano behind him. The black and green striped shirt he wore pressed so tightly to his body, Slither could make out the mans belly button. The villains smile went out to a crowd that wasnt there. Thank you, thank you! he bowed with gratitude. You all are too kind! Cronies, take five, he said before taking a short jump off the stage. The cronies obeyed instantly, disappearing stage left. Slither didnt get into a fighting stance, but he kept his two fingers at the ready. JG was pretty quick for a big man, but Slither was quicker. Though the Jazz Giant towered over him, a sadistic smile upon his face, Slither showed no fear. It didnt matter that JG had well over a foot on him. Just one touch and he would end up like his thugs. I was startin to think you wouldnt show up, old friend! JGs deep voice was higher than usual. Howd you like the number? Slither had to bite his lip to keep his emotions in check. He could feel his blood rising. How could this man be so nonchalant after all the problems he had caused? Slither wanted nothing more in the world than to hurt him. Its alright, he told himself. He wont get away this time. Impressive as usual, Slither responded coolly. Of course I didnt come here to listen to good music. A pity. JG reached deep into his coat pocket while Slither made no move to stop him. For you, I presume, he said tossing a clear and shiny object towards his nemesis. Slither snatched the object out of the air with one hand. He was almost blinded when he opened his palm. The Ying Diamond. It was huge, stretching from the base of his thumb to the base of his pinky. He placed it in one of the empty compartments on the waist of his suit. So, when do I find out what the catch is? he eyed JG warily.

Oh, no catches. Im done, JG answered matter-of-factly. I just needed the diamond to get you here. I wanted you to be the one. The one to what? Slither was far from letting his guard down. To bring me in. After all, we do have six years of history. It would be a shame and disservice to my name if I let the police catch me. He could tell his arch-nemesis wasnt buying the story. Look, the past few months, Ive really been doin a lot ofsoul searching if you will, and I realized that thisall of this bad-guy stuff, this greatest supervillain of all time crapjust isnt cuttin it for me anymore. In any good business, youre supposed to receive more profits than losses and that just isnt the case anymore Cut the crap, Jazz! Sorry, I left my crapcutters at home. Im done with jivin. My wife left me. She said I was too obsessed with gettin the best of you, he chuckled. She said that you were takin over my life. Can you believe that? Slither gazed off into space, a wistful look in his eyes. My wife said the same thing, he spoke softly. And I havent seen my kids in God knows how long. Ive been too busy trying to figure out how to get around you! I missed Taylors ballet recital. My own daughter, for Gods sake. I havent been to one of my sons soccer games yet. Seasons almost over. I cant eat Cant sleep. My fellow madmen are tryin to get me now because they say Im hoggin all the good business.

No more friends, Slither thought about all the superheroes he had met over the years, all of them gone. I leave one person during a major bust to chase after you and, now they all think Im no longer dependable! Well, excuse me for leaving behind one of the greatest superheroes of all time to fend for himself. The man can break down a building with one punch! I figured he could round up a few thugs on his own, especially after I had done all the work! He got riled up just thinking about it. The Jazz Giants heavy sigh was loud enough to knock over a tree. I just dont have it in me anymore, Slither my man. Its not worth it. I understand. Good, then youll take me down to the station then. Of course you might want to dab me with a bit of that poison first, just to make sure I dont Slither watched JG in a new light, not with the same malcontent that he usually showed. Here was a man that had burned down orphanages (somehow no one was harmed), robbed too many banks to count (none of which had resulted in casualties), stolen invaluable items from all over the world, started forest fires, smashed in dams, kidnapped high-status government officials for ransom, blown up buildings, and on more than one occasion, had taken candy from a baby. Yet, in the end, he was just human. Just like Slither. Just like everyone else. Slither had been trying so hard to rid the world of someone so different from himself that he hadnt stopped to realize just how alike they actually were. They were both real people with real problemsproblems that could have been avoided.

Slither wondered if it was too late for the both of them. Maybe not. One thing was for sure, for the first time since he had known him, Slither found himself thinking something he thought he never would: the Jazz Giant was right. It wasnt worth it. Slither? The superhero snapped out of his vision of the two of them as neighbors. The Seahawks were up a touchdown over the Panthers and JG had just finished off the porkrinds. You know, Im kinda hungry, Slither said. You up for a bite, Jerry? Well, you know me, I can always eat! JG patted his stomach. His smile soon shifted to a confused frown. Ummm, but the wholearent you gonna kill me? Take me downtown? Eh, it can wait, Slither shrugged. You coming or what? You do understand that before, during, or after this dinner, theres a good chance I might try and kill you, there wasnt a hint of sarcasm in JGs voice. Just as I hope you understand that I might try and put my dinner knife in your eye before my entre arrives, Slither retorted. I was thinking T.G.I. Fridays. The Jazz Giants light-brown eyes lit up. Ouuuu, I love their breadsticks! Arent they the greatest? The two set off, no longer the Jazz Giant and Slither, but Jerry Gains and Xavier Innerton. Two real people leaving their real problems behind.

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