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D L M M J V S Objetivo: Glaciar Francés Trek

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21 8 de diciembre Modo: Pies
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29 30 31 Distancia: 25 kilómetros
Parque Nacional Torres del Paine, Chile

Last night was a real treat. Around 2:30, Andy shook my sleeping
bag and asked if I were “okay.” Evidently, I had been shivering for more
than twenty minutes trying to get warm. The night was clear and bitter
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cold. It was close to fifteen degrees with a stiff wind coming off of Lago
Pehoe. And the layer of December dew on the tent was not helping
matters either. Fortunately, Andy had some extra warm clothes on-hand
which I donned immediately. He then went above and beyond the call
of duty by practically lifting my frozen frame off of the tent floor and
enshrouding my cheap thirty-peso sleeping bag in the outdoors-equivalent
of a Ziploc bag. Fortunately,
with my chilled bones out of
danger of spoiling, I was able to sleep until 5:30.
Around 8:30, we each had a bowl of oats with brown sugar and hit
the outdoor stall for quick showers. These “showers” involved sticking
our heads under the sink and trying to work up a semblance of lather
with a few drops of coconut-scented camping suds. We had four palm-
sized tubes of the suds that I had purchased back in Buenos Aires at the
oversized pride of Bentonville: El Wal-Mart Supercenter. This was the
same department store where I had purchased my sleeping bag, which
was apparently approved for use only on the surface of the sun. Unlike
the sleeping bag, the suds turned out to be a real lifesaver keeping our
hair smelling like Patagonia Coladas in the weeks to come. I emerged
from the stall brimming with all the confidence of a Pantene model.
At 10:00, we were headed due east for a full day trek to Glaciar
Francés. We made good time and enjoyed most of the
trek despite a minor insect problem. Killer gnats started
gangbiting us along the swampy second stretch of
the trail leading northeast away from our base camp.
After that it was smooth sailing through vast green
fields and beds of brilliant red and purple wildflowers
along the banks of Lago Skottberg.
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l At noon, we arrived at the footbridge that crosses Rio del Francés to
the Campamento Italiano. The wobbly suspension bridge had been built
in 1990 by an “Op. Raleigh.” After only a decade, the cables were already
well rusted, indicative of the amount of precipitation that this region sees.
The structure’s wooden slats were not in much better shape making the
crossing a bit hairy. At one point, I almost fell through the slats while I
tried filming my own footsteps suspended above the rushing torrent
below. Sergei Eisenstein, I was not, but documenting the trip visually
was still a priority. We each took 35mm pictures on the bridge before
continuing north toward the glacier.

Trail Map..
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4
1 Pehoe Base Camp 3
2 Lago Skottberg
2
3 Campamento Italiano
4 Glaciar Francés 1
5 Vista Cuerno Norte
..to Glaciar Francés
Fifteen minutes later, we had a good view of Glaciar Francés. It was
a blinding white mass that extended up high and blended into the
mountain face. The top part of the glacier had been blackened by falling
rocks tossed from the jagged peaks above. We walked slowly alongside
the river and traversed a very tricky part of the trail that was all large rocks
and wide streams. The rocky section eventually turned into a steep
mountain path that we followed for a good half hour until we reached
the perfect spot for lunch. It was a broad, level clearing with a panoramic
view of the glaciers below, the southern lakes that we
had passed and the towering spires of Los Cuernos
to our east and north. The two mountain
peaks at the center of the Torres del Paine
National Forest, Cuerno Norte and Cuerno Este,
each rise over 9,000 feet. From a distance, the twin
spires look like a pair of bull horns, or cuernos.
We dined on three bags of ramen noodles with beef and chicken
seasoning and capped it off with a hearty dose of Cream of Wheat. The

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T 3 4 5
T
R
W
E suspension bridge
andy begins the uphill battle.
K scenic lunch at the base of cuerno norte. O
latter tasted more like warm trail mush without the requisite milk and
sugar. The giant meal was enough to put me to sleep sprawled out over
a fallen tree limb. Andy also got in a few winks before we packed up the
gear and continued up the trail.
Thirty minutes later we decided to turn back as three factors were
weighing against us: time, fatigue and sore feet. The trek back to camp
was much quicker than the trek up. (We tend to adopt an “We’ve already
seen this, let’s get back to camp and eat, dammit” mentality on our return
legs.) When we are talking on the trail, the movie quotes seem to come
fast and furious, reflecting our common taste in fine film. Caddyshack,
Pulp Fiction, Swingers and Fletch are all getting their propers.
a typical coversation on the trail
Danny, this isn’t Russia...Is this Russia?
Can I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?
Beautiful babies don’t work the skank shift.
Let’s hear it for our own Fred “The Dorf” Dorfman.
I don’t play golf...against people...for money.
Hamburgers...the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.
Michael, is he clean? Michael I want to see him!
I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and a steak sandwich.
No, that was Mitch Cumpstein, my roomate in college. Good guy.
“What” ain’t no country I ever heard of. They speak English in “What”?
You’re all growns up and you’re all growns up and you’re all growns up!
Don’t tell me my business, boy. I’m just gettin’ a bird’s eye view.
You’re rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
caddyshack pulp fiction swingers fletch
For musical enjoyment, we take turns humming the bass lines of
our favorite techno anthems until the other person recognizes the song

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l and starts humming along too. It’s
sort of a warped variation of
Name That Tune, because, oddly
enough, we don’t know the titles
of the digital tunes or the names
of the artists. But that’s the beauty
of electronica: those things are
trivial. The only things that matter
are the purity and the timing of
the beats. And while we are loving
the great outdoors here in Torres
pomelo: grapefruit. Other popular fruit
flavors include manzana (apple), naranja
(orange), frutilla (strawberry)
Clight: South American Crystal Light.
Cheap and loaded with sugar.
1,800 pesos: about $4 with an exchange
rate of $1 = 440 pesos.
compañero: partner
refugio: cabin. Literally, a place to take
refuge. The Refugio at Lago Pehoe was a
comfortable log cabin.
lunes: Monday.
mochila: backpack.
administración: main office.
almacén: general store.

del Paine, we are both looking forward to eventually hitting the boliches
in Santiago and balancing out the critical trail : techno ratio.
Around 18:00, we stumbled into camp, thoroughly sore and glad to
be back at Chez Trango. I washed the pots, filled the Platypus bags with
water and pomelo-flavored Clight powder and got our butane buddy
primed for dinner. We feasted on the rest of the salami and a mound
of white rice, a throwback to Andy’s Asian days. The rice was punched
up a bit with some tasty chimichuri seasoning that we had purchased at a

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small vegetable stand in El Calafate.
When rain began to threaten around 20:30, we retired to the tent. I
updated the journal and Andy read until 21:30 when we got our nightly
visit from Gabby. She hit us up for the daily camping fee of 1,800
pesos. As Andy was paying, he casually snuck in an, “Are you single?”
My trail compañero definitely seems fond of our little amiga chilena and
he envisions bigger and better things tonight
at the Refugio where we have been invited to
relax and play cards at 23:00. To quote Andy,
“She probably doesn’t get to see too many men around
here.” So despite our coconut-scented grubbiness,
morale and confidence are apparently running high.

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