Being With Babies - What Babies Want

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What Babies Are Teaching Us A Collection
By
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., R.N.
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WB Publishing 2022 Cliff Drive, #306 Santa Barbara, CA 93109 www.wondrousbeginnings.com Copyright 2005 by Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. All rights reserved. These booklets may not be reproduced in whole or in part, or transmitted in any form, without permission from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review; nor any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other, without written permission from the publisher. Cover rose image and photo of Wendy Anne McCarty by Patsy An Grace. McCarty, Wendy Anne. What Babies Are Teaching Us: A Collection/ Wendy Anne McCarty. First ebook 2005 McCarty Collection, February 6, 2005. ISBN 0960658-0-0
Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.
What Babies Are Teaching Us A Collection
Introduction Being With Babies Booklet Set Volume One An Introduction Volume Two Supporting Babies Innate Wisdom The Call To Reawaken and Deepen Our Communications with Babies Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma The Power of Beliefs
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Introduction
This collection contains my Being with Babies Booklets and three previously published articles. You will find some overlap in that each publication is an introduction for a new group. Each article brings in new elements as well. Being With Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us Volume One & Two These publications were written in response to parents request during their involvement at the BEBA research clinic. I was working therapeutically with infants and their parents at the BEBA Clinic. Families who had heard of our work, had challenging births, or had infants who were showing some stress/trauma symptoms or difficulties would come to the clinic. The agreement was that they would allow their sessions to be video recorded and allow the material to be used for research and educational purposes. We would work with the baby and parents for 10-30 sessions until the babys stress patterns appeared to be resolved and the family resourced and ready to complete. During this time, we were modeling and teaching parents new ways of being with their babies that incorporated prenatal and perinatal psychology principles and a variety of therapeutic skills. As we modeled the principles with how we interacted with their babies, they saw and felt the difference and healing changes in their babies. Yet, it was a different orientation that what was in the mainstream And they asked if we could write something simple something that they could share with their parents, friends, child caretakers, and other professionals working with their families. I wrote these booklets to meet that need. Now they are global. (They are still available in the original gift-quality printed format through my website.) For years, I have wanted to come back to writing more in the series, but instead, I helped to create the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. Now, I am currently writing a parenting book that will greatly expand these originally published principles and others as well. The CALL To Reawaken and Deepen Our Communication with Babies I wrote this article as I was writing my Welcoming Consciousness book and I began the paper much like my book. The article was for the doula community. Often doulas would say that they intuitively knew or felt some of the principles emerging out of PPN research, yet because these concepts and principles are still so different than our current mainstream ideas, they would feel hesitant to go there publicly with their families. I wrote this article to provide information, support, and encouragement to incorporate these ways of perceiving, conceiving and relating with babies into their practice.
Introduction
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma This article was actually assembled by the ISSSEEM staff. They contacted me saying one of their staff members had heard me present at the 2003 ATLC meeting. They thought my message and the handout I had provided conference attendees was very valuable. They had gone to my website and read Luis family story and had put these two pieces together as an article. I revised it slightly, and an article was born. It is a great little article with a list of prenatal and perinatal psychology (PPN) principles and a list of questions to ask in terms of exploring aspects of early experience. Luiss story beautifully portrays key PPN principle and one way to utilize this material with ones children. It was oriented towards the Subtle Energy and Energy Medicine community. The Power of Beliefs This article was based on a presentation I made at the Association of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health Congress in 2001. The importance of the implications that young babies already have imprinted behaviors and beliefs was addressed in this work and has been a primary theme of mine. It truly changes our entire understanding of babies and our beliefs about babies as we begin to see that many of babies behaviors, challenges, and ways of being in the world are reflections of what they experienced, imprinted, and learned during the prenatal, birth and newborn periods. This paper was the beginning of the articulation that has lead to the integrated model I began to articulate in Welcoming Consciousness (2004). Thank you for valuing this material and what babies are teaching us. Enjoy. Wendy Anne McCarty 2/6/05
Copyright November 19, 1996 Revised May 2000
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. 5662 Calle Real, #221 Goleta, California 93117
I want to express my gratitude to the families and babies that I have had the opportunity to work with in the BEBA Clinic and in my private practice. Their integrity, courage, love and commitment have truly been inspiring. They are the true teachers of what is written here. I want to thank the many teachers that I have had the opportunity to work with and four that have helped me build the foundation for my work today: William Emerson, Ph.D.; Franklyn Sills, R.P.P.; Peter Levine, Ph.D.; and Raymond Castellino, D.C. R.P.P. I want to thank my friends who believe in the importance of this message and who have graciously given me their feedback and suggestions. I also want to acknowledge and thank my many beloved friends in spirit. This book is dedicated to Bill, my partner in spirit, who was devoted to the messages contained in this volume.
The principles and ideas in this booklet are as true for the prenate, the baby being born, and the newborn as for an older baby.
Babies, children and adults have been telling their stories of what it was like for them to come into this world - what it was like for them being inside their mothers womb, being born and coming out into the world with all of us. Over the last thirty years, a new field of prenatal and birth therapy has developed that focuses on these early experiences. This new therapy is profound and is helping babies, children and adults heal the stress or trauma that may have occurred during that time. One of the most significant discoveries in this work comes from babies, children and adults showing us ways of being with them that would help them as they come into our world. If someone has given you this booklet, you probably have a baby in your life. In this booklet, I share with you some very important principles we are learning from babies about how to help them in their transition into life. Incorporating these principles into your relationship with babies and children can have profound impact.
What we are learning is revolutionizing the fundamental beliefs we have about prenates and babies and our ways of being with babies to support them.
Our experience from the first moments of conception, from the time in the womb and birth itself has profound and lasting impact. These early experiences imprint and establish our core view of the world, our feelings about ourselves, our health, our body, and how we are going to relate to it all. Being a conscious and aware being doesnt depend on our brain development or physical body. We come in that way! We are the naturally empathic. From the beginning, we are wired to be very sensitive, responsive, receptive beings that merge with others around us, especially mom and dad. We learn by feeling and experiencing with others and are therefore affected by others. And, we learn about who we are by how others around us relate to us. We have been repeatedly awestruck by the level of presence and awareness prenates and babies have. They are able to understand what is said to them, follow the meaning of it, and they respond appropriately. They are very sensitive to what we think, feel, say and do.
Babies are communicating and responding to us and their environment all the time. Their expressions are not random, rather they are intentional and meaningful. Some expressions are quite overt, while others are very subtle. Babies express themselves through: Facial expressions. Eye contact and what they chose to look at. Where they place their attention by focusing on something or someone in their outer environment or by focusing inside themselves with closed eyes. Body language and movement (very important). Gestures with their hands and feet. Level of tension or relaxation. Body rhythms (such as sucking, nursing, and general movement tempo).
A good place to begin is to treat the baby as you would want to be treated. One of the basics is that we all want to be included, considered, and responded to. So, imagine how you would want to be related to in a situation. Then check in with the babys responses and you will find if you are on track!
Talk to the baby directly. Include them in the conversation. Pause and wait for their response. (This pause is essential. Babies process and respond generally at a much slower pace.) Acknowledge their response. Respond appropriately according to their response.
How you relate to the baby does have impact. They are conscious and do understand and have feelings. Treating them with respect, love, understanding, empathy, acknowledgment, and consideration builds a positive sense of self and a sense of safety and being loved.
Babies can easily get overwhelmed or overstimulated. These are specific ways to help babies be able to integrate their experience, to feel safe, and to build trust.
Slow the pac e down. Slow down inside yourself. Fast actions, interactions, and transitions from one thing to another can easily overwhelm the baby. Adapt the environment: temperature, lights, sounds, to their cues. Approach the baby espect for their boundaries and be sensitive to their cues. Ask permission when you sincerely are giving them a choice, such as Would you like me to hold you? Then wait for a cue from them. Tell the baby ahead of time what you will be doing or what is going to happen, such as: When you are going to break contact with them and move your attention. When you are going to do something with or for them, e.g. Im going to pick you up to change your diaper now.
When you are about to initiate a transition. This is an especially important time to tell them about the change ahead of time. For example, Daddy has been playing with baby and has to leave for work. He might say, This has been so much fun playing together...and in a f ew minutes, I am going to leave for work. Ill be back later and we will play more then. Notice babys reaction to the changes and acknowledge them. Often our transitions c an be too quick for them to integrate. To acknowledge that and pause helps the baby. Acknowledge or reflect what the baby is expressing. This is so helpful for the baby and a great way to interact with them, For example, Oh, youre reaching out with your hand. I see. Tell the baby what you are feeling. If you are around the baby and are upset about something or are in conflict with someone, the baby will naturally pick up on it. It helps them if you identify whats going on. They often feel it is something they did and so it can be helpful to say something like, Im upset about something from work today. It doesnt have anything to do with you, but you may feel my upset.
Babies are exquisitely sensitive. They are also very vulnerable and dependent on us. Babies have fewer means to deal with their environment than we do. For example, they cant get up and leave a situation that doesnt feel right for them. They count on us to be as sensitive as possible to adapt the environment and interactions to them. This helps them feel safe and allows them to stay with their experience. For a moment, imagine a time in the past when you felt very vulnerable and sensitive. From that sensitive place, imagine how you would want others to be and how you would want your environment to be. In that sensitive place, you can sense and understand how easily you can feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. Some of the cues babies give us that they are overwhelmed or overstimulated are: Speeding up and moving more into fussing, upset or crying. Movements becoming more jerky. Arching their back and becoming tense, shuttering, or startled. Moving away from a person or stimulus. Going inside in attempts to cut off the stimulation, for example when loud music is playing and the baby appears to go to sleep. Looking disoriented or dazed.
Slow down inside yourself. Check your own tension level and center or relax. For example, take several long, slow breaths. Slow the pace down with the baby by your movements and voice. Acknowledge their response of overwhelm or agitation. Respond to meet their need, if action is called for. Watch for their response and acknowledge that. For example, the baby seems to be overwhelmed and you notice the music that is playing is loud and fast. You could say to the baby, Is that music too much right now?..... Let me put something slower on. (You change the music and the baby calms.) Is that better?...Yeah, that was too much, thanks for telling me. Some of the things that babies are showing us that they really appreciate and that help them are things with which we can all identify. When we feel someone is being sensitive and responsive to our needs and relating to us as an aware, conscious, and feeling person, we feel heard, valued, and cared for. When you treat babies in this way, they grow up feeling heard, valued, and cared for.
Allowing and acknowledging babies feelings helps to validate their experience. As adults, we know it is healthy to feel a full range of feelings and not feel guilt or shame about having them. We are finding out how unhealthy it is for ourselves, our bodies, and our relationships to stuff feelings. What the babies are teaching us is that this is also true for them. We are developing new ideas about protecting babiesprotecting their right to have their feelings and responses. Again, imagine a time in your past when you felt most heard, most comforted and most accepted. That probably included having someone with you who was willing to be with you, acknowledge your feelings and trust your ability to deal with them; someone who was sensitive, allowing and didnt judge you. This is what babies want. Babies have intense feelings and experiences. Just like us, they may be expressing their feelings or responding to something happening right in the moment, such as hunger. They may also be expressing or responding to something in their past. The prenatal experience and birth can be very intense and often babies are expressing feelings about these early experiences as well as about their present situation. Many times, something from the present will trigger an earlier experience which impacts the way they feel about or respond to the present situation. Their feelings always have meaning. We may not always know the exact meaning of their expressions and responses, yet we can identify with their emotions and feelings, such as joy, gratitude, sadness, overwhelm, anger, grief, love, fear, trust, etc.
Wendy An ne McCar ty, Ph.D. is an author, teacher, and consultant. Dr. McCarty has worked for over twenty five years with families through various avenues-as obstetrical nurse, childbirth educator, marriage and family therapist, prenatal and birth therapist and consultant. She has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, MS in Family Studies and Child Development, B.S. in Nursing and training in numerous complementary healing arts and transpersonal practices. In 1987, at an APPPAH conference, she was introduced to the new field of prenatal and birth therapy with infants by William Emerson, Ph.D. and began her training and practice in this specialty. In 1993, she and Raymond Castellino, D.C. R.P.P., co-founded the non-profit corporation, BEBA. Dr. McCarty was the first co-executive director of BEBA and a primary therapist and researcher in the clinic until fall of 1997. In 1999, Dr. McCarty joined a core team to develop and open the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. She and Dr. Marti Glenn, President of SBGI, co-founded and co-created the Prenatal and Perinatal Studies Program at the new institute. Dr. McCarty has also been involved with consciousness studies and research for over two decades. Her work embodies her core perspective that we are spiritual consciousness who choose to have human experience with purpose and design. Her work incorporates the principles of prenatal and birth therapy within a framework emphasizing spiritual perspective bringing mind-body-spirit together.
Association for Pre-and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH) P.O. Box 1398, Forestville, CA 95436 707-887-2838 www.birthpsychology.com APPPAH is an educational, non-profit organization dedicated to the in-depth exploration of the psychological, emotional and social development of babies and parents from preparation for pregnancy through the postpartum period. For 16 years, the Association, through its publications and conferences, has brought public attention to the critical influence of the developmental period from conception to birth. The Association and its members have documented the sentience of prenates and newborn babies and the therapeutic importance of early parent-infant relationships. 502 E. Micheltorena, Suite 205 Santa Barbara, CA 93103 805-963-6896 www.sbgi.edu Dr. McCarty co-created and co-developed with SBGI President Dr. Marti Glenn the first graduate degree programs in prenatal and perinatal psychology. Santa Barbara Graduate Institute opens fall, 2000 with four pre-and perinatal degrees. The Pre- and Perinatal degree programs are designed for those who are interested in the healing arts, education, or work with pregnant women, babies, young children and families and for those who want to incorporate into their present work a more in-depth pre- and perinatal psychology perspective. These degrees provide a solid foundation in pre- and perinatal theory and application as well as important counseling and therapeutic skills within a humanistic transpersonal framework. SBGI offers assessable weekend classes with distinquished leading-edge faculty in Santa Barbara, CA. Birthing Evolution-Birthing Awareness 1105 N. Ontare Road Santa Barbara, CA 93105 805-687-2897 In 1993, Raymond Castellino, D.C., R.P.P. and Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. founded BEBA. BEBA is a non-profit corporation dedicated to exploring and developing how to best welcome human beings into the world and support babies to fully actualizing their potential. BEBA provides prenatal and birth therapy for babies and families in the BEBA research clinic. A video archives provides practitioners, professionals and community members an opportunity to learn directly from the babies themselves through taped therapy sessions.
Copyright June 1997 Revised 2000
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. 5662 Calle Real, #221 Goleta, California 93117
I want to thank the families and babies that I have had the opportunity to work with in the BEBA Clinic and in my private practice. Their courage, integrity, love, and commitment have been truly inspiring. My heart felt gratitude to the babies who are teaching me so much about the power and beauty of their innate wisdom. I want to thank and acknowledge Ray Castellino, D.C., R.P.P., my colleague and co-therapist at the BEBA clinic. His expertise and our creative collaboration have contributed greatly to the fundamentals of I also want to ac knowledge three other colleagues I have learned greatly from: William Emerson, Ph.D., Franklyn Sills, R.P.P., and Peter Levine, Ph.D. I want to thank my friends who have graciously reviewed and helped edit the booklet: Ray, Harvey, Beryl, Ginny, Marsha, Elizabeth, and Peter. Your contributions made a difference. I want to thank Carol for her graphic design and formatting assistance. I also want to acknowledge and express my deepest gratitude to my many beloved friends in spirit, and especially my partner in spirit, Bill. I am so grateful you are a part of my life.
If you have received this booklet, you probably have a baby in your life. This booklet contains some important principles we are learning from babies about how to help them in their transition into life. Incorporating these principles into your relationship with babies can have profound impact. Since the early 1970s, prenatal and birth exploration has grown immensely, revealing profound insights. Babies, children, and adults alike have been portraying their experiences during conception, in the womb, being born, and coming out into the world. The similarities of stories and information gained from all ages give us a rich new foundation of understanding early life. The pioneer field of prenatal and birth therapy is evolving from this foundation and focuses on helping babies, children, and adults heal early stress or trauma, thereby, dramatically enhancing their well-being and future. This booklet series explores new beliefs about who we are from the beginning of life and ways of being with babies that would be most helpful to them as they come into our world. The principles and ideas in this booklet are as true for the prenate, the baby being born, and the newborn, as for an older baby and child.
In booklet, I introduced many of the important principles we are learning from babies. This booklet builds on the foundation of For those of you who may have been given this booklet first, let me briefly highlight a few key concepts discussed in
In this booklet, I suggest at certain places for you to pause and explore something for yourself. These experiences can deepen the understanding and the feeling sense of what is written here. In this booklet, I share in more depth, four key ways we can help babies be and grow into the most healthy, happy, and whole people they can be. I include some examples to help bring the principles and ideas come together and become more real and alive. Lets start by exploring some of the qualities of a healthy, happy, and whole person. In other words:
A common thread woven through most discussions of is that the whole person is in relationship with, to, and living from, a connected place inside themselves. There are many names given to this place inside:
I use the name
You may like a different name:
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The following are qualities of being connected to and living from our Authentic Being that I imagine and experience. I state them in the ideal, yet I know that we are real and human also. We come and go from this state of being. When we are in the flow of this state of being:
In the rest of the booklet, we will explore four key ways you can help. As a prenatal and birth therapist, I work with prenates, newborns, babies, and their parents. Babies have been consistently showing us the power of these four ways of helping. These ways are part of the foundation we use for helping babies heal stress and trauma and to grow from their innate wisdom. For many of the families, we have worked with, it has become a way of life not only with their baby, but with themselves and others of all ages.
Most people in Western cultures have not considered babies to be capable of understanding others and expressing themselves. Most people have not believed that babies are that conscious. This is really a whole new orientation! You may wish to reread the beliefs highlighted on page two of this booklet and consider their significance. When we hold these beliefs, we are also assuming that, from the beginning of life, prenates and babies already have an Authentic Being and an innate wisdom.
The beliefs we hold about prenates and babies form the basis for our attitudes, thoughts, feelings, decisions, choices and actions in our world. Consequently, these beliefs color every aspect of our interactions with prenates and babies, and profoundly impact their feelings and beliefs about themselves. For example, one new father told me that during the first part of his wifes pregnancy he never thought of directly communicating with the baby. He was very excited about having their first child and talked a lot about the baby to others. He just never thought that his baby was capable of understanding what he said. Then he read that babies are conscious from the beginning of life. He began talking his baby. One evening while talking to the baby, he felt the baby move in response to his words. It was a precious moment for him. He really understood that the baby was communicating with him! That was a turning point for him.
Each day, he would look forward to coming home and spending time with his wife and baby inside talking and playing together. Communicating daily with their baby became a new way of life. One night, they went to a movie that ended up being violent. Their baby was very active inside, in an agitated way. They decided to leave. As soon as they were in the car, they explained to their baby their concern for the baby and why they left. The baby calmed and settled inside. These parents' new beliefs opened the door for new experiences and their new experiences with their baby opened the door for newer beliefs. Their beliefs shaped their attitudes, thoughts, feelings, decisions, choices, and their actions. Our holding these new beliefs and images of them helps prenates, babies, and children (and adults) to stay connected with their Authentic Being and to function from their innate wisdom. This vision supports their developing these beliefs and images of themselves. Setting our intentions to interact with babies from our new beliefs about them, will set in motion our For example, as a therapist working with babies, I hold the belief that babies will show me what they want help with, to grow, learn, and heal. I set that intention in order to be available to them, to be receptive to their communications, and to hold their communications to be meaningful. In this way, the babys communication guides my interaction with them.
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Prenates and babies are developing their beliefs about themselves and about the world from the moment of conception. These beliefs are imprinted into their being. It is a time to have an incredibly wonderful impact on them. It is an In I discussed many specific ways of interacting with babies to help them. In the remainder of this booklet, I will suggest more. Still, it is such a reorientation for many people, you may wonder what it looks, sounds, or feels like. How do you interact or be in relationship with babies in this new way? It may feel like a voyage into uncharted territory. If you have the map of these beliefs and set your intention to relate to prenates and babies from there they will show you the way they can be your guide. You will see them respond and the words presented here will
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Babies need our help. When we realize how conscious, sensitive, and aware they are and how impressionable their early experience is, the importance of helping them maintain their sacred space and the safety they feel within it, becomes so clear. They are dependent on us to be sensitive and willing to help keep them safe. Our doing so allows them to blossom within a cocoon of love, respect, and security, without having to become specialists in
Protecting babies sacred space involves respecting their boundaries. So many emotional problems, mental illness, violence, territorial wars, and more are rooted in our early intrusive experiences. Babies are not able to prevent or stop frightening or painful events or interactions. A lack of understanding and empathy from others can lead them to feel objectified and isolated. The implications for this imprinting are staggering. During the therapy we do, we see the impact of unresolved stress and trauma on the babies and parents lives. We also see the enormous positive and healing impact that these new beliefs and interactions can have. That is why I believe so strongly in interacting with babies in a way that affirms their Authentic Being and fully respects their awareness and sensitivity. In this way, we support individual health, happiness, and wholeness. We promote world peace and cooperation. One way to help prenates, newborns, and babies thrive is to be sensitive to their communications and to take care with how we approach and interact with them. They show us when something feels right or not. Babies communicate through voice, overt and subtle body movements and rhythms, and emotional expressions.
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A friend of mine recently told me how he understood this idea. He imagined approaching an animal in the wild, especially a baby animal. He would approach quietly and read their cues of disruption or fight-flight that approaching them may create. He would let the animal show him if it was O.K. to come closer and how they would like him to interact. These images enabled him to learn babies cues and to give the babies the same respect he gave the animals. Prenates and newborns, as well as older babies, react protectively to their space being invaded. They show us in similar ways as do adults. The following are some distress responses babies may have to a disruption in their sacred space. Babies may:
These responses are ways that babies ask us to help them reestablish their sacred space.
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When babies want us to come closer, they often will:
Sometimes, babies exhibit a combination of come closer and go away signs as they negotiate what feels right to them. We all have experienced that relationship scenario of:
This is the dance of relationship! The respectful dance is a vital part of the therapy I do with babies. Here is an example of these principles in action. A five month old baby, Alex, and his parents come in for a therapy session. The parents have already learned that slowing themselves down and going slow with their baby helps him to orient and feel safe. So, they come into the office slowly. I stand still, rather than approach, and greet the baby and parents from a distance. I slow myself down. I watch the baby for cues. On this day, Alex seems agitated and wary. I acknowledge that, saying slowly, Oh yeah, you are ju st gett ing here... maybe feeling a bit unsure?...Yeah. I see him holding tightly onto Mom. I say, Thats right, you can hold onto Mom...Im going to stay right over here...and there is nothing that you have to do right now. The mother knows that telling Alex what she is going to do ahead of time helps him feel safer so she says to her baby, Alex, Im going to move over to the couch to sit down. You can stay right here with me. We try not to have too many things happening at once, so we wait to start talking. The parents sit on the couch. The baby seems to be relaxing more and begins to smile at me. I say, Alex, Im going to come over there (pointing to a spot between us) to sit down. If that
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feels too close, let me know and Ill move back. I move closer and he starts to turn into Mom with his body. I say, Oh, that was too close? Thanks for telling me. Let me move back. Hows that? I notice him soften and turn back to look at me. I focus on settling within myself, making eye contact with him, and say slowly, It is important to me that you feel safe here. I appreciate you letting me know when something isnt right for you. I pause and keep the contact with Alex. Then I say, Im going to move my attention and say hello to Mom and Dad now. I pause and then make contact with Alexs parents. Alex starts to relax more and feel safe.
Parents often ask how to help their baby during a situation that by nature may be invasive or scary, for example, medical procedures or interventions. The following is a story of how a mother helped her baby during a potentially traumatic invasion of the babys sacred space. With sensitivity and care, she helped her baby feel included and allowed the baby the opportunity to take an active role. The baby responded by cooperating, thereby, increasing the safety of the procedure. The mother was pregnant and was going to have an amniocentesis. (In an amniocentesis, a needle is inserted into the amniotic sac of the young prenate to withdraw fluid. The doctor uses an ultrasound image to help safely guide the needle to avoid the baby). She was planning on having the baby whatever the test outcomes, but for personal reasons wanted to have the information. During the week prior to the amniocentesis, the mother communica ted with words and images to the baby about the test why she was going to have it and what was going to happen. She repeated this process several times. When she went to have the procedure, she asked the
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doctor to tell her before the needle was inserted. At that moment, the mother told the baby that the needle was about to come in. She and the doctor watched on the ultrasound monitor and saw the baby move to one side of the womb and remain still. After the needle was removed, the baby began moving again. Her baby had understood and had responded by protecting himself and by cooperating. Prenates and babies are establishing the imprinting that will determine how they view themselves and their world. Feeling that others are sensitive to and respectful of their sacred space profoundly impacts their future.
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When we work with babies in our clinic, we are conscious of how we focus our attention, which helps babies stay relaxed, present, and in their body. You, too, can help them tremendously by learning to focus in this way.
People are always moving their attention, as in surfing the television, radio, or the Internet. We flow moment to moment, shifting our focus from one thing to another. Sometimes, we do this unconsciously. By using our intention, however, we can choose what we want to focus on.
For example, a baby appears to be sleeping in her mothers arm. The mother is watching her baby and is focusing her gaze at her baby enjoying the peaceful, sweet moment. The mother suddenly realizes she forgot to do something she said she would do that day. She looks up at the clock to check the time, and her daughter startles. Her daughter is reacting to her sudden shift in focus and emotional state. Often in therapy sessions, a parent will be interacting with their baby, having eye contact, touch, and The parent then shifts to talk to me, moving their attention suddenly away from the baby. This may be a natural movement to the adult, yet, many babies feel this as a disruption. They may stir, startle, or start to cry.
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The parent may wonder what is wrong, not realizing the impact the unannounced and sudden shift in their attention has had on their baby. Babies have consistently shown us how sensitive they are to attention shifts. Adults may relate to this by imagining being in the flow of a nice conversation on the telephone, only to have the connection suddenly gone. When working with families, I suggest to parents that they: Keep contact with baby. Tell the baby ahead of time, if they are going to break contact. Pause to let baby catch up. Then shift their attention. You will be amazed at the powerful impact this one change can have. Your baby will be reassured that you are aware of their sensitivity and can communicate clearly with them. Prenates and babies will understand when you let them know what is going to happen. For example, lets say you are having contact with your baby and the doorbell rings. They may startle. You say while looking at them, Thats the doorbell sound you hear...Im going to get up to see who is here. Pause... Keep in contact with the baby while you let them catch up. Then say, O.K. Im getting up now.
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Babies are great teachers in helping to raise our consciousness of how we move our attention! (Most adults love to receive that much conscious care themselves!)
Another subtle, yet powerful way to help babies maintain their sacred space involves where we place our attention in relationship to ourselves. Are we coming from our center within ourselves or somewhere outside ourselves? Most of us know a lot about functioning from outside ourselves! The following guided imagery is designed to help you understand and experience the inside or outside concept.
First find a quiet spot, relax, and settle yourself down. When you feel quiet inside, read and imagine the three scenarios below slow enough to notice your responses to each. Imagine sitting at a restaurant having lunch with a friend or co-worker. They are giving you their attention, but for some reason, you feel like squirming. Something feels too close. You feel a need for more space between you. You may feel slightly tired or anxious. You notice yourself leaning back in the chair with your hand gripping the chairs arm. You are edgy and cant quite figure out why. What do you feel in your body as you are imaging this? When ready, let the image and sensations go. Imagine yourself at the same table with a different person. They are moving their attention all over the place. They keep forgetting what you are telling them. One moment they are with you, then they are not. They interrupt you and dont seem to notice. Feeling frustrated, you want to get the check and get out of there.
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Notice what you feel in your body while you imagine this. When ready, let these images and sensations go. Imagine being at the table with yet another person. They are giving you their attention, are present and soft at the same time. You feel relaxed and are really enjoying the contact and the moment together. You are comfortable with this person. Its one of those moments. Notice the sensations in your body. Whats the difference between these three scenarios?
Heres my assessment and response to the three scenarios: This person is falling into me with their attention and energy field. Im feeling that they are too close. You are in my space! My natural defensive movement is to try to create the distance that is more comfortable for me. This person is not centered. Their focus, their attention, and energy field is scattered all over the place, creating a chaotic feeling. They are not very present. I dont feel very attended to nor safe to share much of myself with them. This person has their attention and focus well planted within their own body and space. I feel their presence. They are not spaced out, outside their body, nor falling into my space. They are demonstrating the I feel relaxed and present myself and enjoy being with them.
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The quality of experiences with these three people is very different. I suspect your responses and body sensations are different as well. Most of us can also relate to being like these people. Do you ever feel yourself falling into someone, scattered all over the place, or peacefully centered? Now imagine how the use of our attention impacts babies who are naturally connected to us. Being centered and having our attention come from within us is tremendously helpful to them. Babies can resonate with our centeredness, which helps them experience their own. Also, by being within ourselves, babies sacred space is maintained, providing them with a feeling of safety which they need to stay with their own experience.
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Parents often share that learning to slow the pace or tempo down is a major key for themselves and their babies. Prenates and babies need a slower pace than adults in order to integrate their experience and to not become overwhelmed or overstimulated. Most of us have learned how to function at a pretty fast pace. In fact, I believe that most of us have lived in an overwhelmed and overstimulated state much of our lives. We have learned to cope and adapt so that it has become the norm. For many, slowing down can feel uncomfortable. Yet, we are hearing and reading more and more about how slowing down, learning to relax, meditating, doing yoga, or working in our garden, can help our body and our mind. It can help us become more connected to our Authentic Being and produce a sense of warmth and well-being. Though previously valued much more in Eastern cultures, Westerners now seem to be yearning for the ability to relax, and to connect with themselves and the divine. Babies are powerful teachers. Even though I do yoga, meditate, and value being in a state of quiet presence, I have learned new depths of slowing myself down by being with babies. With each new level of slowing down, babies reveal more of their abilities to access their self-healing potential and innate wisdom. Parents often are not accustomed to slowing down as much as we do in therapy with their babies. They can become quite sleepy during the initial therapy sessions and sometimes nod off! By the end of therapy, however, these same parents are able to slow themselves down, stay awake, and be present. They understand how slowing down within themselves makes such a difference in their ability and their babies ability to be more present.
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If babies have experienced stress or trauma, which most of us have, the imprinted pattern tends to be one of speed up. The fight/flight responses in their body were stimulated during the stress or trauma and the propensity for repeating those responses remains higher. These babies will tend to speed up and become upset, agitated, afraid, and tearful more easily. We observe that this speed up can contribute to what we label as colic, constipation, inability to nap or sleep, breastfeeding problems, or In therapy, we purposely slow down the pace to help babies renegotiate or repattern their tendency to speed up. The art of learning to be relaxed, present, and in your body while the baby is crying and upset is the Consider what the stewardess requests at the beginning of a plane flight. She explains that, as caretaker of a small child, you should put the mask on yourself first to ensure you are able to then put one on your child! When you feel yourself accelerating, getting anxious, having your attention fall into the baby, or getting scattered: Pause. Acknowledge what is happening for you and for your baby. Slow down. Notice where your attention is and bring it back within yourself. Reorient and relate from this place with your baby. Then acknowledge to the baby what is happening.
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The key concept here is that the more we learn how to be present, relaxed, and centered in our own bodies, the more babies can then stay oriented, connected, and present with theirs. When babies are in that slowed down, they have fuller access to their innate wisdom. Babies are incredible teachers because by helping them, we learn more about ourselves. We learn how to live within our innate wisdom and from our Authentic Being. The suggestions in this booklet are key ways to help. They are meant as a guide to explore and to learn.
Averys grandfather tells a wonderful story that sums up the main points of this booklet. Avery and his parents are a part of the BEBA research study. Avery completed the prenatal and birth therapy process, graduating several months prior to the time of this story. During Averys therapy, his grandfather, so moved by the healing impact of these principles had, made a commitment to relearn how to be with his grandson. Here in his own words is a story of he and Avery:
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We began this booklet looking at new beliefs regarding how conscious and aware we are from the very beginning of life. We explored how we want to help babies experience and grow. We discussed the qualities of living from our Authentic Being and what it means to live from our innate wisdom. We then explored important ways you can help babies feel safe, protected, respected, and loved, which in turn, will support their growing from within in touch with their innate wisdom. Now it is time to leave. After setting this booklet down, let yourself just be with what has been stirred within you. Allow yourself to experiment with your baby in this new way and let them teach you. They are the real guides of this new world. with love,
Wendy
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Wendy An ne McCar ty, Ph.D. is an author, teacher, and consultant. Dr. McCarty has worked for over twenty five years with families through various avenues-as obstetrical nurse, childbirth educator, marriage and family therapist, prenatal and birth therapist and consultant. She has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, MS in Family Studies and Child Development, B.S. in Nursing and training in numerous complementary healing arts and transpersonal practices. In 1987, at an APPPAH conference, she was introduced to the new field of prenatal and birth therapy with infants by William Emerson, Ph.D. and began her training and practice in this specialty. In 1993, she and Raymond Castellino, D.C. R.P.P., co-founded the non-profit corporation, BEBA. Dr. McCarty was the first co-executive director of BEBA and a primary therapist and researcher in the clinic until fall of 1997. In 1999, Dr. McCarty joined a core team to develop and open the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. She and Dr. Marti Glenn, President of SBGI, co-founded and co-created the Prenatal and Perinatal Studies Program at the new institute. Dr. McCarty has also been involved with consciousness studies and research for over two decades. Her work embodies her core perspective that we are spiritual consciousness who choose to have human experience with purpose and design. Her work incorporates the principles of prenatal and birth therapy within a framework emphasizing spiritual perspective bringing mind-body-spirit together.
To order booklets and other publications by Dr. McCarty, Visit: www.wondrousbeginnings.com Printed Booklets on Pastel Linen Available Beautiful Gifts for New Families For the sake For the sake For the sake For the sake Read and be of our babies, of ourselves, or our families & communities, of the world, nourished by these wonderful booklets.
Peter A. Levine, Ph.D. Author, Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experience Dr. McCarty is available for private consultations for families and professionals who want personal assistance in incorporating these and other ways to deepen communication with and support babies to flourish. Some parents and babies may want help to heal unresolved grief, stress, and trauma. Common behavioral cues of babies that indicate need for help are patterns of difficulty associated with sleep, transitions, feeding, settling and regulating their state of being, and separation reactions. To inquire about a personal consultation with Dr. McCarty, email: wmccarty@wondrousbeginnings.com.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our Communication With Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Compelling Findings from Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology
By
They dont think Im a person. I know I am. This experience and statement captures a core theme echoed throughout decades of clinical reports from the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology. This particular statement comes from Emily under hypnosis as she described her experience in the newborn nursery to Dr. David Chamberlain (1999, p. 80). Over thirty years of clinical and research findings indicate babies are much more conscious and aware and able to communicate more meaningfully and learn more intensely from the beginning of life than traditionally thought. In this DONA article, I would like to introduce the emerging field of prenatal and perinatal psychology and seven key principles and clinical findings that directly affect our practices supporting families and babies. Often when I share this material with professionals such as doulas, they relate that they have intuitively known or have already been working from some of these principles. Yet many professionals have also confessed to being hesitant to openly incorporate these principles into their interactions with babies and parents because they challenge traditionally held beliefs about babies and may appear too far out. My hope is to support you and give more examples of practices and ways of being with babies that incorporate these key principles.
The Field of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Two professionals instrumental in the founding of this field during
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004. Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
the 1970s and 1980s were Thomas Verny, M.D., and David Chamberlain, Ph.D. In the 1970s, Dr. Verny became intensely interested in the mind of the unborn and newborn child and traveled to meet others researching this area. Dr. Chamberlain began utilizing hypnosis with his clients and was surprised that many of them spontaneously went to and described their prenatal and birth experiences while in trance. and 1980s, Drs. Verny and Chamberlain, During the 1970s along with other
psychotherapists and physicians from various parts of the world, began sharing reports of their adult clients birth experience recalls. They were finding that many adult problems appeared to originate, to their own surprise, during their clients early experiences in the womb and during birth. They reported that working with the original early experience often resulted in dramatic relief and resolution of the clients presenting problems. Dr. Vernys book, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child (1981), broke new ground and is considered to mark the conception of what would later become the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology (Chamberlain, 2000). Dr. Chamberlains book, Babies Remember Birth (1988), opened up new territory with his clinical research findings revealing the reliability of birth memories. By the late 1980s, prenatal and perinatal psychology had expanded into a multidisciplinary field dedicated to the in-depth exploration of the psychological dimension of human reproduction and pregnancy and the mental and emotional development of the unborn and newborn child
(Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Healths purpose statement). The field focuses on both the prenatal and birth process and experience directly, as well as the understanding and treatment of children, adolescents, and adults exhibiting constrictive-to-traumatic patterns rooted in their prenatal and perinatal experience. There are two core professional organizations in the field, each publishing their own journal. The American organization, The Association of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH), publishes the Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health. The European organization, The International Society of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine (ISPPPM), publishes the International Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine. I was first introduced to the field in 1988 when I attended a conference sponsored by what is now APPPAH. Even though I had worked with families having babies since the early 1970s as an obstetrical nurse, a childbirth educator, and as a marriage and family therapist, I was stunned by what I learned and experienced at the conference. It changed my perceptions and conceptions of babies and our earliest experiences. It changed me. It changed my life. Although I had a great deal of relevant education, a BSN in Nursing, a masters in Child Development, and a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, as well as fifteen years of experience working with families, a very different picture of early development was being presented. What
made it so different? This group had been mapping out our earliest development from the babys point of view! Researchers and clinicians had been gathering reports of adults remembering, re-experiencing, and healing issues pertaining to their prenatal and birth experiences. Various methods were utilized such as hypnosis, holotropic breathwork, various regression techniques, and spontaneous entry into the earliest experiences. As the reports, research, and clinical findings were shared and cross-referenced, significant trends and patterns were discovered. It became evident that our experiences in the womb and at birth had powerful influences on our behavior, health, psyche, and how we function in the world. Not only did these influences affect us during infancy and childhood, but also throughout adulthood! Prenatal and perinatal psychology was giving us an inside view of how we experience and are affected by a multitude of factors from pre-conception, life in the womb, birth and bonding, and the newborn period. Greater understanding of potential life-long effects, a new appreciation for the needs of babies, ways to prevent life-constricting patterns, and new recommendations to support babies and families emerged as a result of this research. At that conference, I attended a presentation by Dr. William Emerson on his pioneering psychotherapy work with young babies to heal birth trauma. Not only had he had been working with prenatal and perinatal material with adults for two decades, he also had worked with children to identify signs and symptoms of prenatal and birth trauma and
therapeutic interventions suitable for children. During this period, a friend whose baby was in the NICU after a very difficult birth asked him if he could help her baby. He didnt know if he could, but he worked with their baby and she improved. He was subsequently inspired to work with babies and developed the subspecialty of therapeutic interventions during infancy and early childhood to resolve prenatal and birth trauma. I trained with Dr. Emerson and began working with young children in 1990. In 1994, Ray Castellino, D.C., and I co-founded BEBA, a nonprofit research clinic, to work with families and young babies in treating early trauma and to explore the implications of this work (www.beba.org). I often use the phrase What Babies Are Teaching Us in my seminar titles and publications because they truly have taught me a whole new level of possibility in being with babies. In 1999, I joined Marti Glenn, Ph.D., and others to create and open Santa Barbara Graduate Institute with the first masters and doctoral degrees in our specialty, Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology. Program instructors include Marshall Klaus, M.D., Phyllis Klaus, MFT, Thomas Verny, M.D., David Chamberlain, Ph.D., William Emerson, Ph.D., Ray Castellino, D.C., and I, among others. Students are now beginning their doctorate research and will be making significant contributions to research in the field. In conjunction with the institute, I now provide continuing education seminars that are primers for professionals to reap the benefits from the decades of research in this vital field.
Seven Key Principles from Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Now that you have a brief orientation to our field and my background, let us turn to what I consider to be seven key principles that emerge from the fields research. 1. We are sentient beingsconscious and aware from the beginning of life. 2. Our ability to transmit and receive communication during the prenatal and perinatal period is much greater than traditionally thought. 3. During our gestation, birth, and early infancy stages, we learn intensely and are exquisitely sensitive to our environment and relationships. During this period we form a foundational blueprint for life based on these early experiences. This blueprint becomes the infrastructure from which we grow and experience lifephysically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and spiritually. 4. Our early experiences become part of our implicit memory reflected in our subconscious and in our autonomic functioning. These affect us below the level of our conscious awareness and directly shape our very perceptions and conceptions of reality. 5. Young babies already show us their established life patterns developed in utero and during their birth. The majority of babies born in the US show signs of stress or traumatic imprinting.
6. Many of the needs we have considered essential for healthy development during infancy and childhood are needs we have from the beginning of life: To be wanted, welcomed, safe, nourished, seen, heard, included, and communicated with as the sentient beings we are. 7. Communicating with babies in the womb, during birth, and the newborn period and directly including them so that they feel we are doing this together is one of the most powerful tools we have to help babiesespecially when there are difficulties or medical interventions.
Each of these principles can be understood and appreciated at many levels. For instance, what does our sentient nature really mean? How does that change how we support babies and teach parents? After fifteen years in the field, I am continually deepening and expanding my understanding. In the remaining portion of this article, I would like to give a few examples of the principles and their implications and recommendations for working with babies.
Principles Illustrated Let us return to the quote at the beginning of this article, They dont think Im a person. I know I am. This poignant statement by a woman relating her experience in the newborn nursery under hypnosis is a very commonly reported one in prenatal and perinatal oriented work. Her
statement and perspective illustrates that we have a sense of self as we enter life and that we have meaningful memory of our experiences. Chamberlains study, Reliability of birth memory: Observation from mother and child pairs in hypnosis has become a classic in our field (1988, 1999). Many of the narrative descriptions of these memories can be found in his book Babies Remember Birth (1988). In his study, Chamberlain hypnotized children (ages 9-23) and their mothers separately and asked them to describe their birth experiences. He then compared the coherency of the child and mothers memory of the birth. (Pairs chosen included only children who had not been told the details of their birth and who had no conscious memory of their birth.) He found that the independent narrative matched exactly at many points and dovetailed in an interlocking pattern at other points with the baby having its own experiences. Rarely was there a contradiction and when there was one, it had a different quality, one of fantasy rather than reported memory. Chamberlain concluded, The content of birth memories suggests a sophisticated level of physical, mental and emotional consciousness at birth, beyond anything predicted by developmental psychology (1999, p. 26). Chamberlain reported that the narratives from the children revealed accurate reports of: time of day, locale, individuals present, verbatim recollections of events outside the womb, paranormal knowledge of unspoken thoughts of others, knowledge of type of delivery, instruments used, room layouts, sequencing of events, and detailed images of outside
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the womb while baby was still in the womb. Here is an example of what a mother and child each separately reported of a situation soon after the birth. Notice how literal the memory is: Child says, Mother is talking and playing with me. There is a hassle about the name. Mother didnt like V. or G. but daddy did. Mother says, Im tickling and playing with her, stroking her. There is a disagreement about the name for the baby. I dont like V. or G. but prefer Mary K. (1999, p. 23) What is worth highlighting is that the types of accurate reports Chamberlain found in this study have been also been reported by many other researcher and clinicians. There is evidence to suggest that not only do we have a full sense of self and have memory of our experiences, but that we are also very sensitive to events occurring at the time of our birth, as well as the emotional states and intentions of those who are present. This is evident in the following story told by the mother of six-year-old Evan: Evans mother asks her six year old, Do you remember your birth? He replies, Sure. She tries to hide her surprise, and asks, What do you remember? Evan puts his hands up on the sides of his head and says, It was really dark and smoochy. It really hurt my head. Then I came out and they handed me to dad. Then dad came to youdid you love me? She felt a dread. She had felt very guilty that when he was born and brought to her, she was still in so much pain as the episiotomy was repaired that she could not even look at her newborn and had told her husband to take him. She had never told anyone about this because she judged herself harshly for that moment. She then told her son the truth about that moment and said that later when they brought him to her, she fell in love with him. She told him how sorry she was if he felt not loved in that first moment. He said, Okay and changed the subject. (McCarty, 2004) In this example Evan demonstrates a sense of self and other as a newborn, remembers sensations, sequences of events, and was left with a question about his mothers feelings towards him from his newborn memory.
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Vinnies story also portrays several of the key principles. His mother, Rachel, related to me that when Vinnie was three years old, he would cry and have tantrums when she left him at preschool. She related that he was really upset that she wasnt going to come back, and she wasnt really sure why he was having such intense reactions. Rachel was a also a midwife and said that during this period she had a class in which the midwifery instructor, Karen Strange, discussed how conscious babies are at birth and how difficulties at birth may affect them later. Rachel decided to talk with Vinnie about his difficult birth and newborn period. She told me that she talked with him about how they were separated after his birth and that he had some breathing difficulty and was kept in the nursery under an oxygen hood for several hours. She told me that as she was telling him about how she was sorry they were separated and that that might have been scary for him, he chimed in with, Yeah, I didnt like that. I didnt think you were going to come back. I didnt know if you were going to come back. Rachel went on to say, so, we talked about that and I thought maybe it must feel like that when he went to school and he wasnt sure I was going to come back. He said, Yeah, I wasnt sure you were going to come back. So in just talking about it, it seemed like he was sort of relieved to be able to say yeh-that is what I am feeling, even though he might not have been able to have the words for it. He seemed relieved, glad that somebody acknowledged that that was kind of scary for him, or painful, or hard. He really seemed after that to be able to separate from me more easily and having talked about how I was going to come back and that I would always come back for him was something he really needed to hear.
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Vinnies story portrays how conscious, aware, and affected he was by the separation with his mom after his birth. It also illustrates how some event during the birth and newborn period can become a traumatic imprint, part of the foundational blueprint that affects how later events can trigger an intense return to the original feelings and fears. In both of these examples, the mothers illustrate several principles of communication that supported their children. They appreciated and respected their childs memory and reaction to events during and after their birth. They were honest in talking about what happened and had a sense of empathy and compassion for their childs perspective. Vinnies mother saw the relationship between her sons newborn experience and his intense reaction at preschool and was able to help him understand himself and the circumstances better. Daniel Siegel, M.D., and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., in their book Parenting from the Inside Out (2003), discuss the importance of having a coherent narrative, a coherent sense of our childhood events and experiences. As human beings, we have a need to understand and resolve intense or traumatic events in our lives. I find this is true from the beginning of life. I hope these examples support your intuitive knowing and your own ways of working with families. Although this article only briefly introduces prenatal and perinatal psychology and key principles, I have included a selected bibliography to help you explore these issues in more depth. My
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publications, Being with babies: What babies are teaching us-Booklets I & II, are brief introductions of these concepts and practical ways of implementing them intended for parents and caretakers. (Look for a book version in 2005.) Each of my papers and my book contain more stories that bring life to the clinical research findings. My continuing education classes are another avenue to learn more from this exciting field of prenatal and perinatal psychology and how to incorporate these principles in working with families.
Recommendations The evidence emerging out of prenatal and perinatal psychology and clinical practice indicate that we have a sense of self as we enter form and that we want and need to be communicated with and included. I highly encourage practitioners and parents to communicate directly with the baby and be responsive to the babys communication with them from the beginning of life. The more you as practitioners do this, the more natural is will be for parents to do this. The evidence suggests we are natural telepaths as we enter human form. Babies read and are affected by peoples thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Telepathic communication is prevalent at the beginning of life. As their bodies and brains grow, their communication grows to include movement, gestures, vocalizations, and the communication dance between baby and other becomes a synchrony of mind-body-spirit expressions. I find when we do this throughout the prenatal period, there is already a closeness and clarity of communication that positively affects the birth and bonding.
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In many indigenous cultures, telepathic communication is as natural a way of communicating as verbal language. Unfortunately, in our modern Western world, as our views of early development became so grounded in only our biological human nature, our sentient spiritual nature and mind-tomind communication was denied or discounted. Recently, I had a sad reminder in my private practice of this. A woman came to see me two months after her baby died in utero at 37 weeks gestation. She related that she had a sense something was not okay yet did not trust it. One day, she thought the baby was clearly communicating to her that she (the baby) needed help. That evening, she felt the baby communicate that she was hanging on. She told me she hesitated in trusting that that was truly her baby communicating to her and said, How could I call the doctor and tell him my baby said she is in trouble? She felt they would have thought her loony. Sadly, during a routine ultrasound the next morning, the horror unfolded as they saw the baby had her cord wrapped around her neck three times. Within an hour, the baby was dead. This young mother felt tremendous pain about not listening to her daughters call for help. This is a very sad story, one that motivated me to write this article to support professionals and parents in trusting their inner knowing and intuition and in reawakening and deepening our communications with babies once again. As birth doulas, you are in the central position of supporting mom, baby, and dad. Just as you would support mom with your presence, your encouragement, physical comforts, and by interfacing with staff to be
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sensitive to the needs and rhythms of the mother, supporting babies consciously in similar ways is tremendously helpful. Babies love to know you know how hard they are working, what they are going through, and that they are not alone. When interventions are going to be made, orienting and talking them through it in a manner similar to how you would interact with the mothers is very therapeutic for babies. Many times, things dont go perfectly during the birth. I find babies are like all of usgoing through difficulties and potentially traumatic events IN RELATIONSHIP prevents traumatic imprinting. Just as the research demonstrates how beneficial the presence and support of the doula is to moms outcome. I also see the same potential for the positive impact of acting as a doula for the baby by supporting them in the birth process. Not only can you prevent potential traumatic imprinting, you are helping them build a foundational blueprint for future life challenges, e.g., a belief such as even when things get tough, I am never alone. That is a precious gift. Many ask if babies actually understand our verbal language. I believe they do (McCarty, 2002a). Because most of us were taught in our Western world that babies were not capable of understanding us, we often talk around babies, about babies, even make jokes about them or talk about our troubles with them, as if they dont understand. We now realize they not only are listening, but they are forming their blueprint for life based on these messages. Therefore, my guide in being with babies in and outside the womb is that I consider them fully present and taking in what I am saying, feeling,
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thinking, and my intending. I include them in the conversation and I assume they are affected by what I am saying. I am reminded of Emilys words, They dont know I am a person. I know I am. My response is thank you for reminding us of who we are. My intention in my life is to remember ways of being with babies so babies feel welcomed, seen, heard, and they know WE KNOW what sentient beings they are from the beginning of life.
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Communicating with Babies From the Beginning of Life Three Levels of Communication Communicating TO baby Receiving and perceiving communication FROM baby Mutual communication - the dance BETWEEN
We communicate to baby through: Mind-to-mind inner conversation Our STATE OF BEING o Stress or relaxed/well-being o Our physical state health, chemically, nutritionally o Mental thoughts, focus of attention o Emotions and mood Touch, voice, gestures, movement, eye contact Verbal language and sound Choices in environment/people around us Our actions Babies communicate with us through: Mind-to-mind communication Through our dreams, daydreams, meditations, prayers Inspiring us with ideas, thoughts, feelings, and actions Movement, activity level and rhythm of movements Vocalizations, body language, eye focus State of being and where placing attention Facial expressions and gestures The Mutual Dance A mutual conversation that can be a all these levels That sense of connection and rhythm of being in tune with each other Babies love to be a part of the dance, both being included by being communicated to and being received and responded to. (Similar to us adults!) Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
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References Chamberlain, D. B. (1988). Babies remember birth: And other extraordinary scientific discoveries about the mind and personality of your newborn. Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc. Chamberlain, D. B. (1999). Reliability of birth memory: observations from mother and child pairs in hypnosis, Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, 14(1-2), 19-30. Chamberlain, D. (2000). Looking back: Personal reflections on the history of our association. Part I: Conception to birth. Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, 14(3) 237-242. McCarty, W. A. (1996). Being with babies: What babies are teaching us, an introduction, vol. 1. Goleta, CA: Wondrous Beginnings. (Available through www.wondrousbeginnings.com) McCarty W. A. (1997). Being with babies: What babies are teaching us, supporting babies' innate wisdom, vol. 2. Goleta, CA: Wondrous Beginnings. (Available through www.wondrousbeginnings.com) McCarty, W. A., (2002a). The power of beliefs: What babies are teaching us. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 16(4). 341-360. (Available through www.wondrousbeginnings.com) McCarty, W. A. (2002b). Keys to healing and preventing foundational trauma: What babies are teaching us. Bridges ISSSEEM Magazine, 13(4), 8-12. (Available through www.wondrousbeginnings.com) McCarty, W. A. (in press). Welcoming consciousness: Supporting babies wholeness from the beginning of lifeAn integrated model of early development. Santa Barbara, CA: WB Publishing. Siegel, D. J. & Hartzell, M. (2003). Parenting from the inside out: How a deeper understanding can help you raise children who thrive. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putham. Selected Further Readings Carmen, E. M. & Carmen, N. J. (1999). Cosmic cradle: Souls waiting in the wings for birth. Fairfield, IO: Sunstar Publishing, Inc. Castellino, R.(2000). The stress matrix: Implications for prenatal and birth therapy. Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, 15(1), 3162.
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Castellino, R. (1997). The caregivers role in birth and newborn and selfattachment needs. Santa Barbara, CA: BEBA. (Available from BEBA, (805) 687-2897) Chamberlain, D. B. (1990). Expanding the boundaries of memory. Pre- and Peri-natal Psychology, 4(3), 171-189. Chamberlain, D. B. (1992). Babies are not what we thought: Call for a new paradigm. The International Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Studies, 4(3-4), 161-178. Chamberlain, D. B. (1994). The sentient prenate: What every parent should know. Pre- and Peri-natal Psychology Journal, 9(1), 9-34. Chamberlain, D. B. (1997). Early and very early parenting: New territories. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 12(2), 51-59. Chamberlain, D. B. (1998). The mind of your newborn baby. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books. Chamberlain, D. B. (1999a). Babies dont feel pain: A century of denial in medicine. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 14(1-2), 145168. Chamberlain, D. B. (1999b). Prenatal body language: A new perspective on ourselves. The International Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine, 12(4), 541-556. Chamberlain, D. B. (1999c). The significance of birth memories. Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, 14(1-2), 65-84. Chamberlain, D. B. (1999d). Transpersonal adventures in prenatal and perinatal hypnotherapy. Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, 14(1-2), 85-96. Eichhorn, D. & Verny, T. R. (1999). The biopsychosocial transactional model of development: The beginning of the formation of an emergent sense of self in the newborn. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 13(3-4), 223-234. Emerson, W. R. (1998a). Birth trauma: The psychological effects of obstetrical interventions. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 13(1), 11-44. Emerson, W. R. (1998b). The vulnerable prenate. The International Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine, 10(1), 5-18.
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Emerson, W. R. (2001). Treating cesarean birth trauma during infancy and childhood. Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology, 15(3), 177-192. Hallett, E. (2002). Stories of the unborn soul: The mystery and delight of pre-birth communication. San Jose: Writers Club Press. Linn, S., Emerson, W., Linn D., & Linn, M. (1999). Remembering our home: Healing hurts and receiving gifts from conception to birth. Mahwah, N.J.: Paulist Press. Verny, T. R. (Ed.) (1987). Pre- and Peri-natal Psychology: An introduction. New York: Human Sciences Press, Inc. Verny, T. R. (2002). Tomorrows baby: The art and science of parenting from conception through infancy. New York: Simon & Schuster. Wade, J. (1998). Physically transcendent awareness: A comparison of the phenomenology of consciousness before birth and after death. Journal of Near-Death Studies. 16(4), 249-275. Wirth, F. (2001). Prenatal parenting: The complete psychological and spiritual guide to loving your unborn child. New York: HarperCollins.
Dr. McCarty is a Prenatal and Perinatal Consultant and Educator. She is the Founding Chair and Faculty of the Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Program at Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. Dr. McCarty is a frequent presenter at conferences and is a continuing education provider in her specialty. In her private practice, she works with families throughout the prenatal, birth, and early parenting years. She also works with professionals professionally and personally. She can be reached by email: wmccarty@west.net To order more copies of this and other publications, please come to: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma What Babies Are Teaching Us
By
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching Us Wendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
This article was originally published in the International Society for the Studies of Subtle Energies and Energy Medicines magazine, Bridges, Winter 2003, Vol 13, 4, 812. For more information about ISSSEEM, visit their website at www.issseem.org.
When I recently read the aTLC Proclamation and Blueprint (atlc.org) I was deeply moved by the passage: Children never outgrow the need for the nurturing of being seen, heard, touched, and valued. When we honor the wholeness of our childrens spirit and treat them with more love and respect for their unique rhythm, character and ability, we can compensate for many of our childrens unmet needs. When we nurture our children in these ways, we also heal ourselves. ATLC
This captures so much. If I were asked to make a global statement about how we can prevent our babies from having traumatic patterns in their foundational blueprint upon which they build their bodies, sense of self, relationships and the world, I would borrow from this passage and say: We are never too young for the need for the nurturing of being seen, heard, touched, and valued. When we honor the wholeness of our babys spirit as their body is conceived and as they are nurtured in the womb and birthed; when we treat them with love and respect and include them as whole, sentient beings that are learning intensely about life and communicating with us from the beginning; and, when we appreciate their conception, womb life and birth as their unique sacred journey into human life, we can compensate when
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002. Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
everything doesnt go well, when life happens. When we nurture the wholeness, the goodness, truth and beauty of our babys spirit and human self, we also heal ourselves. Wendy Anne McCarty
I began my work with families in the 1970s as an obstetrical nurse and childbirth educator. I was fascinated with babies and got my masters in child development. In the 1970s, I learned about the latest in infant cognitive, language, emotional-social development and went on to get a doctorate in counseling psychology, and then worked with families as a psychotherapist for many years. In 1988, I discovered the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology and therapeutic work with healing trauma in babies. I found it both fascinating and disorienting. Their premises and perspective were coming from such a different paradigm that I felt at a loss as to how to interface my academic learning and previous experiences with this new perspective that suggested we were conscious, aware beings from the beginning, and that often our prenatal and birth experiences has involved stress and/or trauma that could be addresses as infants. The schism I experienced has taken me on a path towards integrating these perspectives. What is real? Babies and children have been my most reliable teachers. They have shown me repeatedly the realness of their wholeness from the beginning of life. They have shown me how deeply we want to be acknowledged, heard, seen, valued, included, protected, and aided in creating our environment to be one in which we can stay oriented, present and feeling safefrom the beginning of life. I have found that when we hold the realness and wholeness from the beginning, and learn more of their language of communicating earlier experience and
current issues, babies, toddlers, and children show us stories and their responses to what happened to them. Their stories may be about conception, when their parents discover they are here, some event or circumstance of their life in the womb, or what happened during their birth, immediately afterwards and their first experiences in the outer world. These experiences build the infrastructure or foundation of implicit memory, autonomic nervous system function, and the subconscious programming of beliefs, shaping perception and meaning given to current situationseven as neonatesthat is below the level of conscious awareness. Our earliest experiences are embedded in our being and act as a natural filter of our perceptions and interpretations of situations, people, and even sense of self. Id like to share one way I believe all of us can create moments of potential healing and transformation of foundational trauma. We each can do this with our own children and can help families we work with in this way. I have frequently found that earlier stress, trauma and breaches in trust/relationship from the prenatal and perinatal period often stand in the way of our trusting, loving, or allowing more love in until the earlier wound is acknowledged and resolved. We know that when a person has experienced something traumatic or disturbing, one of the most healing experiences can be to have another person hold presence, listen, and acknowledge what happened and our experience of it. (We also know how the denial, discounting, or not believing something happened or could be remembered can exponentially complicate and strength the destructive impact of the original trauma.)
Often our babies have foundational trauma because we havent known how conscious and aware, how much they could be impacted by what happens so early in the pregnancy and during birth. Once we become aware, often we have regrets and a sense of remorse of the part we played in it or in not knowing how to protect them from it. I have found that when we address a difficult or painful truth about something we now believe could have impacted them during pregnancy and at birth, and we genuinely feel and express remorse about the impact this could have had on them, this moment is a gift of a lifetime. It is important when doing this to take care to create the right environment and time to be with them, to talk with them (at any age) about their conception or when you found you were pregnant, their birth, etc. Sensitively talk with them about seems important to share with them or what you feel would be important for them to hear about concerning what happened to them. Often we dont have explicit, conscious memory of our earliest experiences, but the impact has shaped us and implicitly pervades our lives. Some part of us knows. I have seen these tender moments of dealing with painful, difficult truths be life changing for both parent and baby or child. Luis Story. For now, Id like to share a story told to me by Luis, a father from Latin America. He approached me at a workshop and said he needed to talk with me. You changed my life and the life of my family and I have wanted to thank you for a long time. Luis said, Do you remember years ago telling us a story of your therapy work with babies? You told us of a father who was just realizing that his baby really was conscious even while still inside his wifes womb. The father had not wanted this baby
when he heard his wife was pregnant; he had not truly welcomed this baby at birth. You told us that during the therapy, you suggested that the father talk directly to his baby, now in his arms. Looking him straight in the eyes, to tell him gently, what really happened. I did not want you then, because I wasnt ready for a baby then. Theres nothing wrong with you. I love you now. You recounted that when the father saw the sadness in his babys eyes, he felt the sorrow and spoke deep words of truth, Im sorry. I didnt know you felt this. I didnt know you were conscious of this. I am sorry. I love you so much now. You are a beautiful boy, the father spoke softly. Luis said, When I got on the plane that night, I started thinking and feeling honestly how this story applied to what happened with my fourth child. We had had three girls and they had grown up enough so that we could go skiing and take vacations. My wife got pregnant and I was silently angry and distant during the whole pregnancy. I was never close to this child and our relationship had always been tense. I had absolutely no patience with her and of course, we were far from being caring and tender with each other. At that moment on the plane, I decided I wanted to talk to her about this. One morning a few days later, I went into her bedroom and quietly sat on her bed. I want to talk to you, Paula, about when you arrived in your mothers tummy. Paula, now five years old, listened. When you arrived, I wasnt happy about your coming. I sometimes resented you being here. I did not always treat you well, even until now. Ive made a mistake. I am very sorry. Now I realized you felt my anger and resentment in some way. Im sorry and I now realize what a magnificent being you are. Im so grateful you chose this family and chose me to be your father. I love you
form the bottom of my heart. I am so sorry I did not honor you in the way you needed form the beginning. Luiss eyes filled with soft tears as he continued, She didnt say much at the time. Wendy, this conversation happened seven years ago. After that conversation, she changed; the tension between us that had been there from the beginning was replaced with a wonderful relationship. Today she is twelve, and my love and caring for my daughter flows with ease and joy. I realized it all had an enormous impact in my relationship with Paula, but it also had much to do with my understanding that each one of my daughters is a complete human being and needed to be addressed as such from the first day they came. I was deeply touched by Luis willingness to listen, to learn, to consider the whole new notion of his daughter being conscious from the beginning and to act from his heart to speak to her and love her in this way. It changed each of them and their relationship. Most of us havent known how conscious our babies are from conception on. When we consider our own possible impact, when we are there in the moment willing to allow our babies or children to express their unexpressed feelings and responses about a given situation, tremendous healing is possible. One of my foundational beliefs is that TRUTH helps to orient us deeply within our self. When conveyed with love, compassion, and care, it can be the mother of self-regulation and attachment. I have seen many families that have dissonant patterns of interactionsome very obvious, some subtlethat reconstellate into a new more coherent, harmonious pattern and relationship after healing moments life this. Parents are instinctively protective of their children. One traditional way of protecting was to not speak about painful thingsto keep potentially hurtful things
away from our babies and children. We especially did this when we thought they were unable to remember or be impacted by what happened so early on. Unfortunately, we now appreciate how much some part of us already knows the truth and were impacted by what happened. I think of a more wholistic protectiveness is for us to protect our babies and childrens right to know the truth, to be able to orient and be supported to deal with and heal painful early experiences. Babies are so willing and able to benefit from this compassion and loving intent to heal and repair. In my work with families, I have seen many parent-child relationships turn around in momentslike these when potentially traumatizing, painful, negative experiences from the prenatal and birth period are recognized, acknowledged and honoredwhen the childrens responses were respected and appreciated. The list below provides a collection of key concepts which might be helpful to you. On the following page, you will find an abbreviated set of questions that can give you clues to origins of potential stress-trauma-disruptive patterns from the prenatal and perinatal experiences that can easily be included in working with individuals and families.
Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology How we are conceived, carried, birthed, and greeted matters greatly. We are conscious, aware, and communicating meaningfully from the beginning of life. Our earliest experiences in the womb, at birth and during infancy establish a foundational blueprint for life. This blueprint becomes the infrastructure from
which we grow and experience lifephysically, emotionally, mentally, relationally and spiritually. These early experiences become part of our implicit memory and autonomic functioningbelow the level of our conscious awareness. Our foundational blueprints are reflected through our lives, in our perceptions, conceptions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, choices, actions, bodies, relationships, work, and in our spirituality. Even in the womb, our cellular functions set programs in motion towards growth OR protection. Stress-trauma-shock is on a continuum. Trauma occurs when an event propels a person into an overwhelmed state to which they cannot effectively orient, stay present, and cope effectively. Stressful and traumatic imprinting from the prenatal, birth and bonding period is much more common than previously thought. Young babies already portray complex beliefs and shape their behaviors and interactions around them. The majority of babies born in the US show signs of stress or traumatic imprinting. There are many potential causes for stress and trauma imprinting during the prenatal, birth and bonding period. Conception, life in the womb, and birth are all foundational cycleswith a beginning and end. Our experience (and imprinting) in moving through these cycles is seen in how we move through cycles (sequences) in our livesmacro and micro. When there is stress and/or trauma during these early journeys,
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they profoundly impact our ability to be present, connected and moving through our lives whole and joyously. Earlier stress, trauma and breaches in trust/relationships often stand in the way of our trusting, loving, or allowing more love in until the earlier wound is acknowledged and resolved.
Clinical History-Seven Vital Areas of Early Experience Each of these brings clues to potentially early stress and/or trauma that shape our foundational blueprint. Conception Describe your parents, their relationship and life circumstances at the time you were conceived. Were they trying to have a baby? Where you planned or a surprise? The circumstances/emotional tone of the conception, e.g. passionate conscious lovemaking to get pregnant, one-night stand, angry dominating sex, drugs on board. Was there medical intervention or third party involvement to bring about conception? Implantation Was mom smoking, using drugs, drinking alcohol, or taking medications with the first two weeks of pregnancy? What was the mothers emotional, mental, and physical health like? Was there any evidence of a twin present, any subsequent bleeding? Were there previously unresolved issues involving her wombsexual abuse, miscarriages, abortions, disappointments? Discovery What were your parents initial reactions to finding out they were pregnant? Were you planned or a surprise? Wanted or not?
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Were there repercussions, conflicts, shame, or secrets around the pregnancy? Did your parents consider not having or keeping you; was an attempt made to abort the pregnancy?
Pregnancy Did your mom use drugs, alcohol, smoke, take medications or take over-the counter drugs? If so, when/if during pregnancy did she take/stop taking them. Amniocentesis? Ultrasounds? Significant events/issues/distress during the pregnancy. Moms health and well-being. Implications of this pregnancy, e.g. financial stress; single mom; kept parents together. How did your mother feel towards the growing baby inside? How much stress did your mom experience during her pregnancy? Birth Were you born early or later than the date you were due? Did the labor start and progress naturally or was labor induced/stimulated? How long was your labor? Born at home or in the hospital? Was your mom given drugs during labor or at birth? Did she have anesthesia? What kind? Were there medical interventions during labor? During birth? Was your birth assisted-forceps, vacuum extraction, C-section? Were there any complications? What stories have you heard about your birth? How much did you weigh? What happened right after you were born? Taken to warmer and examined? Given to mom? Procedures done? What were the initial reactions and verbal greetings to you?
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Bonding Were you with your mother or separated during the first hour? When did you get to be with your mother for the first time? Breast-fed or bottle-fed? Did you have bruising or molding of your head? Were you circumcised? Other procedures? How did your parents describe you as a newborn? If born in the hospital, did you stay with your mom or in a nursery? For how many days? Infant Were you the gender your parents wanted? How have your parents/caretakers described you as a baby? Any problems with colic, allergies, sleep, long crying periods, ear infections, difficulty being close, etc.? What were your parents beliefs of how to parent, e.g. let baby cry themselves to sleep, dont spoil a baby. Who cared for you during your first weeks and months of life? Did your mom experience post partum depression? References & Notes 1. W. A. McCarty, Being with Babies: What babies are teaching us, Vol 1 & 2 (Wondrous Beginnings, Goleta, CA, 1996, 1997). 2. W. A. McCarty, The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching Us, Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health 16 (4), (2002), p. 341-260. To learn more: Santa Barbara Graduate Institute (www.sbgi.edu) Association of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH) (www.birthpsychology.com) Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. (www.wondrousbeginnings.com) Alliance for Transforming the Life of Children (www.aTLC.org)
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Wendy Anne McCarty is Founding Chair and Faculty, Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Program at Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. She provides CE courses as well as individual consultation services to professionals and organizations to understand and incorporate implications of recent prenatal/perinatal research/clinical findings to a wide spectrum of healing practices for people of all ages. She also provides services for young families and adults to resolve and optimize this early blueprinting experience, utilizing energy psychology and other traditions to re-establish and support wholeness and coherence. You can reach her at: wmccarty@wondrousbeginnings.com.
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies are Teaching Us
By
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching Us Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
*This paper is based on a presentation to the 10th International Congress of APPPAH held in San Francisco, Dec. 2001. She is the founding Chair, and member of the founding faculty of the Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Program at Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. In addition, she was the co-founder of BEBA, a non-profit clinic for therapeutic work with babies and their families. Dr. McCarty would like to thank the families whose stories are included in this paper for their participation and for permission to share their stories. Correspondence can be sent to: wmccarty@wondrousbeginnings.com. ABSTRACT: This paper explores the development of beliefs during the prenatal and perinatal period and how babies portray their beliefs. Four vignettes from therapeutic work with babies illustrate the powerful impact beliefs already have in shaping their lives. Basic principles to help babies shift potentially constrictive beliefs to more life enhancing ones are included. This paper is intended as a theoretical and clinical exploration leading to new thought, research and clinical direction. This paper calls for a paradigm for infant development and communication with babies based on the premise that consciousness is the organizing principle of human experience. The importance of both practitioner and parents beliefs is discussed. (Clarification added 12/1/04: Consciousness as the organizing principle. I was developing this concept at the time of this paper, yet the way I expressed it in this paper was vague. I want to clarify that I am speaking of the primary consciousness of the person. Further evolution and articulation of this concept is found in my Welcoming Consciousness book.) INTRODUCTION Since I began working with children and babies within the prenatal and perinatal psychology framework in the 1980s, I have been fascinated with how the blueprint of core beliefs is already actively shaping babies lives in terms of their physical structure, physiology, their relationship to self, others, and to the world as well. The purpose of this paper is to explore the development of beliefs during the prenatal and perinatal period and how babies portray their beliefs. The importance of the practitioner and parents beliefs is discussed. Four vignettes from therapeutic work with babies are included to illustrate the power of beliefs in babies lives and to highlight basic principles to help babies heal and shift from potentially constrictive beliefs to more life enhancing ones. The vignettes included give babies an opportunity to teach us themselves. This paper is intended to serve as a theoretical and clinical exploration and points to new arenas of thought, research and clinical
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002. Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
direction. This paper calls for a paradigm for infant development and communication with babies based on the premise that consciousness is the organizing principle of human experience. It is not intended to be a thorough examination of clinical work with babies. ABOUT BELIEFS Our beliefs are the foundation of organization of our reality. Beliefs organize and determine what we make real. They not only shape our perception of ourselves and the world, but they continue their cascading impact by shaping and directing where we focus our attention, our motives, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, choices, decisions and our actions (Talbot, 1991; Benson, 1996). Beliefs directly impact our mental and physical health (Rossi, 1993). They are the raw materials from which our reality is created shaping our expectations of the future; they direct where we focus our most precious human treasureour imagination. We know that much of our experience is actually filtered out before we even are aware of it. Beliefs determine what we will become conscious of or perceive. We know that our beliefs not only filter our perceptions of reality (Ornstein and Sobel, 1987), they can even override physical reality (Rossi, 1993; Talbot, 1991). Dr. Herbert Benson (1996) in Timeless Healing: The Power and Biology of Belief writes of a research study in which women who had persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy were given a drug, syrup of ipecac, a substance that causes vomiting (Wolf, 1950). The women were told the drug would cure their problem. What happened? If physiology had the most power, the women should have continued vomiting. In fact, their vomiting stopped. Their beliefs overrode the physiological action of the drug. Benson suggests that many successful outcomes of new medical and pharmaceutical interventions reveal more about the impact of belief than about the usefulness of a specific agent. He points to three contributing factors: the belief and expectancy of the patient, the belief and expectancy of the caregiver, and the beliefs and expectancies generated by both caregiver and patient sharing similar beliefs and expectancies. We also know that the brain cannot differentiate between what is experienced as real in the outer world and the imagined inner world. We are familiar with this in hypnosis, lucid dreaming, meditation, and other altered states in which the mind creates a reality beyond the physical outer reality (Talbot, 1991).
New research relating to babies adds to this picture. We now know that from the onset of brain wave activity and continuing throughout infancy, the delta and theta EEG ranges are predominant (Bell & Fox, 1994; Laibow, 1999). These states are associated with restorative and regenerative processes, deep creativity, hyperlearning and hypnotic suggestibility (Laibow, 1999; Robbins, 2000). Such highvoltage, slow-wave brain wave patterns are also associated with meditation, expanded awareness, psi perceptions and abilities and transcendental states of consciousness (Talbot, 1991; Wade, 1996; Wilbur, 2000). Dr. Bruce Lipton, a cellular biologist, suggests that beliefs are the determining factor in whether the cellular activity is growth-oriented or protection-oriented. He proposes that prenates and babies learn at the level of perceptions. These early learned perceptions have a profound affect upon the babys physiology and behavior and become hard-wired synaptic pathways as core perceptions becoming subconscious beliefs through which all later experience is filtered and organized (Lipton 1998, 2001). When we consider the impact of shared beliefs and expectations between an adult physician and patient, the fact that the brain cannot differentiate between the imagined world and the physical world in these altered states, and realize that babies live in such altered states of deep suggestibility and learning, we must reconsider the magnitude of potential impact the beliefs and expectancies of parents and caregivers on the growing prenate and baby. We must also deepen our appreciation of the importance of our own beliefs and expectations as practitioners and parents, for it is the perceivers beliefs that not only largely determine what is perceived, conceived and experienced when interacting with babies, but that babies are learning and associating with those beliefs when in contact with us. The enormous power of beliefs is becoming evident. MY EVOLVING BELIEFS AND PARADIGM My own perceptions in this arena have evolved over the years. During my training in obstetrical nursing and infant development during the 1970s, I was taught to look at prenates and babies through the eyes of a Newtonian model that focuses on our physically based development and experience. We examined what babies were capable of based on their brain and growing body and built our interventions based on these understandings. Behaviors that appeared outside a Newtonian-based
paradigm were commonly dismissed as random or lost in the characterization as Babies just do that. It doesnt mean anything. Although infant development theory and research has advanced greatly, and the advent of brain imagery studies has expanded our knowledge immensely in the intricacies of factors in development, the biologically based Newtonian paradigm is still predominant in infant development theory and research today. I was first introduced to prenatal and perinatal psychology at the 1989 Pre- and Perinatal Psychology Conference in Newport Beach, CA. In his presentation there, William Emerson (1989a) included videos of his therapeutic work with babies. I was deeply moved by the babys presence and awareness. I was stunned by this pioneering work of trauma resolution (Emerson, 1989b) during infancy and began to train with him. When I entered the field of prenatal and perinatal psychotherapy with children and later with babies, my previously held beliefs and education were inadequate to explain what babies showed me each day. Was I to dismiss a four-year-old boy accurately playing out a scene from when he was five months in the womb because it could not be explained within current models? Was I to dismiss the meaningfulness of a thirteen-month old adopted boy picking a plastic character doll (out of hundreds of toys) that looked eerily like a photo of his birth mom the last day he saw her when he was two weeks old? Was I to disregard a three-month old girls portrayal of the patterns, movements, and unique progression of her own birth as her parents talk of her birth? I could not dismiss what they were showing me; I was too moved by their integrity and purity of expression. Every session with children and babies stretched my beliefs about who we are and what is possible. They were already expressing so much of their earlier experience and learned expectations of the futureif only I could hold the meaning of what they were showing me. These experiences led me to search for a paradigm to hold them. I found a home for them in a synergy of quantum physics, holographic theory, consciousness studies, transpersonal psychology, and ultimately in my own spirituality and experience as I reawakened to my own prenatal and birth experiences. I now believe that for us to more fully and accurately understand the experience and development of the growing prenate and baby, we must acknowledge and hold a higher truth. We are consciousness prior to and beyond our physical body and brain.
Within the quantum physics paradigm, consciousness is viewed as primary and thus directs and forms a partnership with our growing biology and human self (Bohm, 1980). Early experiences in the womb and during infancy appear to be an inseparable, intertwining experience between both the nonphysical realm from which we come and the physical life to which we are being initiated (Carmen & Carman, 1999; Luminaire-Rosen, 2000; Wade, 1996, 1998; Wambach, H., 1981). To separate out consciousness from the human experience in our scientific pursuit to understand human experience and development, appears a fatal flaw of the Newtonian scientific approach. My present cosmology has evolved to view the primary journey as consciousness as the organizing principle of our human experience and journey. I believe our consciousness coming into this life has a unique shape with specific purposes for our life. Those may include grappling with certain limiting or destructive beliefs we bring with us to heal and resolve. They certainly are to grow, learn, enjoy, create, give, love, remember, and live more fully the Divine consciousness that we are. I believe there is purpose and meaning in who we choose for our parents, the timing of our birth, and in our early prenatal and birth experiences because all these contribute immensely to the core beliefs and perceptions that begin to give focus to our exploration. From the very beginning at conception (and even before), we are learning about physical life through our experiences in the womb, resonating and merging with our parents living of life and their conscious and unconscious beliefs. When we look at the states of consciousness and brain wave patterns of prenates and babies during the first eighteen months, it appears that we are wired as consciousness coming in to merge with the experiences of our parents and significant others. We enter an intense learning period about being human, about our own image and about the world; we form our personal perceptions and beliefs. It would seem to be a beautiful plan to orient to our life in the physical world, merging our consciousness with mother and fathers universes of biology and consciousness. We set the filtering devices that will determine what we consciously attend to and perceive. Out of the infinite possible experiences in human life, we begin to draw the core design of our life focus. Unfortunately, all too often we forget that we are primarily consciousness. We have lost touch with life filled with soul and spirit and that conception is first and foremost a sacred initiation into life here. Sadly, we have narrowed our view of who
babies are, based only on biology. In doing so, we have already abandoned their more real identity as consciousness capable of complex understanding and presence, as described by Chamberlain (1988, 1998, 1990) and Wade (1996, 1998). Our personal orientation and welcoming style has often become a school in separation, loneliness, toxicity, violence and fear, dimming the aliveness we knew outside the physical body (Emerson, 1996). These early imprints and ensuing beliefs of human life can become our greatest constrictorswardens of an inner personal prisonor they can be our greatest liberators. When we begin with belief that we are primarily consciousness, and that our physical self cannot be separated from, nor exist without, a connection to our consciousness, a whole world of new perceptions of what babies are showing us can unfold. As we begin perceiving the underlying beliefs that babies are portraying, we can begin working directly with those beliefs creating new possibilities of freedom, growth and health. HOW BABIES PORTRAY THEIR BELIEFS Vignettes are useful in that babies are the best teachers to demonstrate the power of beliefs already imprinted. We also can learn from them as we watch those moments of new possibilities, when they move from constricted beliefs into beliefs that allow more freedom and growth. These vignettes come from the BEBA video archives. BEBA is a non-profit research clinic that I co-founded with Dr. Ray Castellino in 1994 to provide prenatal and birth therapy for babies and their families and to document the work for educational and research purposes. In the vignettes described, Ray and I are the therapists with BEBA families. In therapeutic work with babies, babies show us how beliefs are more than thoughts. Beliefs permeate, influence, and are part of the very core of being at all levels: they appear as ways of being in the world, revealed in states of being, embedded and expressed in body structures, postures, physiological processes, and movement on both micro and macro levels. They also appear in states of consciousness, focuses of attention, emotional tones, and intentional actions. There is an is-ness to the experience, already a part of the fabric of being from which they live. Remarkably, prenates and babies demonstrate to us that they do understand complex communication and respond meaningfully (Chamberlain, 1998). They
taught me continually to stretch my realm of possibilities to include a knowing that this level of communication with babies was possible. I now recognize that it is possible because we are communicating at the level of consciousness. How do babies communicate? They communicate through eye contact, facial expression, changes in where they place their attention and states of consciousness, body movements and gestures, physiological changes, breath and heart rates, vocalizations, crying and talking, through more primary changes in structure and rhythms and through energetic and telepathic meansi.e., a lot like adults do! PRINCIPLES OF REPATTERNING In the following vignettes, several repatterning principles are incorporated. Although this paper is not intended to be a thorough articulation of possible therapeutic interventions with babies, there are certain principles that are important to articulate here and that are therapeutic when being with babies in any intervention. When an earlier experience has involved stress, trauma, or shock, the baby person has experienced some varying degree of disorientation, overwhelm and inability to cope in the situation (Castellino, 2000; Emerson, 1999; Levine, 1997). Events and sequencing were compressed and occurred very quickly or intensely. Each of the repatterning principles is designed to help babies repattern those earlier experiences by supporting them to orient and to integrate present experience. The first principle is to find the right pace for the baby. Usually this means we slow the pace as we sense the pace the baby needs in order to stay present and oriented, as well as connected to the slower more growth-oriented inner rhythms. This is an integral part of establishing a therapeutic environment in which the babys autonomic nervous system can respond with settling and integration after activation has occurred (Castellino, 2000; Sills, 2001). A second principle is to view the baby as the primary focus of and active participant in our interactions (if they want to be). We follow the babys cues and respond to them. Often prenates and babies are in reaction to others and their environment or held on the sidelines of the adult conversation as they are talked about. In contrast, we want to support their participation, their lead, and their communication.
A third principle is to attend to the babys communication (verbal, gestural, somatic, and energetic) and attempt to recognize, acknowledge, and reflect for them the apparent experience, perceptions or beliefs, they appear to be expressing. A fourth principle is to assist the baby to orient with aspects of their experience by pointing out and differentiating, such as, between then and now, or between their own experience and that of their parents. We may illuminate and voice what belief they are portraying, what they may believe is true in the moment, even though it is based on past experience, rather than the actual circumstances in the present moment. The fifth principle deals with our intentions and attitudes. We are attempting to bring awareness and support to provide the baby an opportunity of healing. This is different from treating a baby or conducting some test or procedure on the baby. Sixth is to hold the vision of them as primary consciousness and that they are communicating with us on many levels and to respect their innate wisdom. Seventh (and perhaps most fundamental) is that we bring our caring compassion for them. I believe love is the greatest healer. These principles are incredibly powerful and are recommended as therapeutic guidelines in interacting with prenates and babies in everyday life (See McCarty 1996, 1997). VIGNETTES Antara Antara was born at 42 weeks gestation after over 20 hours of active labor, induction with pitocin, and 4 1/2 hours of pushing. Her birth was finally assisted by vacuum extraction. When she was born, she was found to have aspirated old meconium and was taken to the NICU for assessment and intervention. After two hours, the mother was able to be with her in the NICU. Antara spent five days in NICU. She did well, but needed oxygen support, was given antibiotics and kept sedated. For purposes of clarity, I am distilling Antaras story to highlight our particular focus. Within the sessions though, we hold more of the complexity of the babys prenatal and perinatal history. We first met Antara when she was 3 1/2 months old. She initially looked very wary and frightened as her parents carried her into the therapy room. Ray spent several minutes slowly approaching her as we talked to parents. When he came close
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enough, he gently offered her his hand, after asking permission to do so from the parents. Antara showed several defensive reactions and signs of disorientation. Although she maintained eye contact, her eyes widens in a seemingly shocked expression: her body wobbled, she leaned back, pushed her legs out straight ahead of her, made increasing vocalizations that matched her other behaviors showing increased unease and wariness. Her system was activated in a fight-flight response. We paused, and I said, Oh, moving back now. She made eye contact with me and her system quieted. Ray moved a bit and she looked away (another coping strategy). I said, Oh, looking away. She settled again. We were being sensitive to her cues and acknowledging her responses. We were attempting to be quiet with our movements and attention. As we did this, her system settled and she could be more present. At another point in the session when she was apparently reaching overwhelm, her strategy appeared to be to dissociate. She turned her attention to gaze into a design on her mothers skirt. She maintained her attention there. I quietly touch the skirt and said, Oh, I see you looking there at moms skirt. She made eye contact with me. I said, Looking at me now. Her eyes went back to the fabric. The dance was to gently meet her where she was without expectations and to allow her to feel safe in her coping strategies. Antaras behaviors and responses in the first session taught us a great deal about the beliefs and expectations that were already embedded in her perceptions from her previous experiences of multiple interventions at birth and in the NICU. Her behaviors were meaningfully expressing fear and wariness. In our repatterning, we slowed the pace, acknowledged her responses, respected her boundaries, and acknowledged and supported her coping strategies. We supported her choices and boundaries. We continued to do this type of relating during the session. This was undoubtedly significantly different from her earlier experiences of medical intervention. During the following session, there was a marked change. She was already making much more contact with us, able to settle more and have fewer fearful reactions. Angelika One of Angelikas unique qualities is that she is quite a talker. Even at the young age of 3 1/2 months when we first began working with her, she was quite verbally expressive.
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One of the patterns her parents had noticed was that Angelika would find herself stuck, like in a couch, or she would be in the middle of the room on the floor and act as if she was stuck and couldnt move. She would become increasing upset, agitated, and mad. When we heard her birth history, the meaning of her pattern began to emerge. She and her mom had 36 hours of active first stage labor. During that time, Angelika would have been feeling the pressure of contractions, but no matter what she did, there was nowhere to go because the cervix had not completely opened. In this first session, she appeared to have recreated this as Ray was holding her. She was lodged in the corner of the couch with nowhere to go. The sequence described below begins at this point in the session. Mom was kneeling beside her holding her hand and being very present, watching her and listening to her. I was supporting her feet and Dad was also close by. In the sequence described below, focus on the mutuality in our communication and the meaningfulness of Angelikas responses to us. We utilized several repatterning principles. We were recognizing, acknowledging, being with her, listening to her, reflecting her verbally and somatically. She was having wonderful contact with all of us. She was finally having her side of the experience heard. It is likely that this was very different from her original birth experience. Angelika had been just hanging out with us for several minutes in this corner spot. She slowly got more activated, more arm movements and vocalizations. At one point Ray said, Were actually re-simulating that time when you were stuck in there for a long time. I follow with, And this time she is talking about what it is like and Mom and Dad are listening. Ray adds, And you can see Mom. Mom is looking right at her nodding her head. Angelika continued to vocalize more emphatically and at one moment she appeared to say, I cant get out of here. Ray responded with, Its a long time stuck in there. Angelika vocalized and expressed more. She appeared to be working really hard to say the words to have us get it. Ray said, I get it. Ok. I am going to say it out loud, It was an awfully awkward tight spot. Angelika responded with direct eye contact with Ray and said, Yehhh. Ray said, Yeh, awkward and tight, as he gently reflected that prior relationship with the pelvis with his hands touching her head and side of face. Ray continued, Yeh, thats how it feels.
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Angelika said. Yehhh. Ray responded with, Yeh, awkward and tight, and again, Angelika was really efforting to get words out and we heard what sounds like a somewhat gargled sentence: Yeh, I cant get out of here. I almost immediately responded with And you couldnt figure out how to get through there. With that, Angelika immediately responded with a rather dramatic movement pressing her head into the tight spot. She began really moving her legs and pelvis up and down, but she didnt move forward. I said, And you were really trying to get through there. Ray added, You were really stuck there. She looked directly at Ray and makes pushing sounds. The interaction continued from here. This brief vignette portrays the level of communication and the beauty and integrity of mutual communication. She was telling us her story and we all were listening, reflecting, empathizing and repatterning as we journeyed together. (This sequence of communication can be clearly heard on the audio recording of the presentation this paper is based upon. See McCarty, 2001). During that week, she continued to apparently express this pattern. During the next session, Mom reported she has repeated this stuck place-no-where-to-go behavior with agitation and frustration at home. During a second session, Angelika continued this pattern. Now even though there wasnt a womb, there wasnt pressure, there wasnt anything to stop her, she continued to create this position, again and again moving her legs, getting frustrated and mad, but not moving. At one point during the session, Mom was on the floor with her legs apart. Angelika was on the floor on her back with her feet against moms thighs and she was again acting very frustrated and mad. At that moment, I said, You know, you could move your mad feelings into your feet. Instantly, she pushed her feet into mom and propelled herself forward. All three of us were surprised. Mom opened her mouth in amazement and scooped her up to hug her. This was the moment of new possibilities and a new belief was born. What unfolded after this was her expressing I can do this! She started mobilizing herself and moving around the room and started having fun in her body as she discovered she could move after all! One of the things we know is that in trauma we can become immobilized, feeling helpless. Angelika had shifted to having joy and fun experimenting in her body with finding her energy, finding her fire. She has a lot of fire and now she could use it in an empowered way.
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Lilly Lilly teaches us another aspect of the origins of beliefs. We had been working with Lilly and her parents for sometime and we noticed that when she started to stand up, she had quite a peculiar way of standing up with her legs very far apart and her hips very unstable. It was quite distinct. We assumed it had a meaning and purpose, yet saw no physical reason for it. Where did this pattern come from? We asked her mom, What was happening to you when you were ten months old? Mom related that she was in a body cast and a Stryker frame. Her hips were not fully developed when she was born and she wore a body cast for the first year of her life. It had a bar across to keep her legs stabilized quite far apart. In the frame, she was pulled upright at times and propped up. We saw a relationship between moms experience of first standing and her daughters. This is an example of a belief that came out of the parents experience during the developmental period that the baby was now in. When there is unresolved, charged material in the parents psyche and soma, the baby may portray these held beliefs and patterns. The baby resonates with the belief and can carry and incorporate it into his or her experience. Lilly was apparently incorporating part of Moms patterning even though she herself was not in a body cast. Lillys mom had not consciously worked with what she may have felt or needed during those months she had spent in the cast. In a later session with us, Mom brought in pictures of herself as an infant with the cast on. One poignant moment was when mom was describing the bar across and the position in which the cast held her, Lilly was on her back portraying the precise position. We suggested to Lilly that this was the way mom had to be because of her hips and the cast, differentiating between her moms experience and her own. In a following session, Mom chose to go inside and work with her own infant and be the receptive, supportive person there for her younger self. I was basically sitting with her and energetically supporting her as she went into her own inward healing journey. Dad was holding Lilly and Ray was supporting and tracking her energetically. There was a synchronized dance between mother and daughter. As mom went in, Lilly went in. A short time later, the energy in the room shifted as Mom emerged. Mom reported that she had had a new energy that opened and moved through her body, especially her pelvis and legs. She remarked that she felt a significant shift in
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the energy, a healing shift with her young one feeling heard and assisted. As Mom came out of her inner experience, Lilly emerged from hers. As mom was describing her experience, Lilly stood up and moved to mom. Lilly stood next to her mom and clapped her hands smiling. We joined in and then noticed that Lilly was standing with her feet under her hips. The old pattern released and the new one had begun. When we recognize, acknowledge, differentiate, and support the parent to heal their potentially unresolved material, the baby is freed to resonate with more life enhancing beliefs. Sky Sky was a little boy that we began to work with when he was six weeks old. At that point, he had never successfully breastfed. The only way that he would take his mothers milk is with a syringe next to the moms hand dropped into his mouth. Everyone was exhausted. Sky appeared very weary and was not gaining quite enough weight. His history revealed that in the first 75 seconds of his life, he had a multitude of interventions. As his head was born, the physician saw that Sky had a cord around his neck and brought the cord around. His body came out very quickly. He had a considerable amount of meconium on him. The doctor immediately, in a brisk, very no-nonsense way, suctioned him with a bulb syringe. He then quickly cut his cord and handed him to the pediatric staff. They took him to the pediatric bed and opened his airways up by extending his head back to visualize and suction him more deeply for the meconium. His Apgar scores were good, but he was taken to NICU for routine procedures. His dad stayed with him. He was reunited with his mom over an hour later. He never successfully breastfed. Those first moments, minutes, and hours after birth are incredible precious and vital for bonding, self-attachment, the establishment of relationship, and successful breastfeeding (Klaus, Kennell, Klaus, 1995; Righard & Alade, 1990). In facilitating therapy with babies, I have come to appreciate much more deeply the power of those first moments in terms of imprinting beliefs and life patterns. During the first BEBA session when Sky was brought to the breast, he had a very distinct movement and activation pattern. When he started to put his mouth around the nipple, his head jerked back four times in a brisk decisive pattern. He then became increasing agitated, upset and escalated to where mom stopped attempting to nurse him.
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During the second BEBA session, we explored Skys birth story in what I have come to call the birth review. An important part of therapy with babies is when the parents begin to tell the story of the babys birth. We take a great deal of care to include the baby and to do the review very slowly, carefully tracking the babys response. We pause when the baby responds or activates, to acknowledge, reflect, empathize, allow the baby to energetically discharge any shock, help their potency build, and to allow space for their system to settle (Castellino, 2000, Emerson, 1999, Sills, 2001). When enough care is taken to build a supportive environment, the birth review can be a powerful therapeutic process. Sky was very present and quiet with his eyes closed lying on his stomach on Dads lap. Mom was on the couch right next to them. Ray was positioned at Skys feet with his hand on Skys back making contact and tracking Sky energetically. I was sitting close by tracking Sky energetically also. As we ask the parents to talk about the birth, we encourage that slow, quiet sharing in a delicate way to match Skys quiet and receptive state. The process took most of an hour as we watched for Skys responses to the story being told. At times he responded with sighs, increased respiration, perturbation of his energetic system, mouthing and swallowing movements and sounds and also once, with a smile. When his parents spoke of his cord being cut so quickly, his system released some shock and he aroused with a startle, lifting his head. As we progressed we became aware of his possible beliefs and confusions. In this vignette, a few key moments that illustrate his beliefs and our working with him around these are extrapolated from the birth review. This was a pivotal session in terms of understanding self-attachment, the imprinted disruptions in the process and the vital implications for breastfeeding and relationship problems that could ensue. For an in-depth piece on this that includes a transcription of much more of the session, read Castellino (1997). Dad and Mom were describing when he was suctioned with a bulb syringe first and then again more deeply to remove the meconium from his airway. Dad said, They were talking among themselves (the medical staff) Its below They were talking about the meconium. Sky began to breathe faster as his dad spoke. A few moments later Ray said quite slowly, O.K. This is really important, Sky. The reason why they did that was because they believed that you swallowed or breathed some meconium and they wanted to make sure that was not in your airway
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and they did it in a no-nonsense way. Sky made throat sounds and his breathing sped up. Ray said, Yeh, I know it felt like thatIt was hard. Mom quietly adds, And they didnt acknowledge your feelings either or treat you like a person. I add, Im sorry. Sky swallows strongly. Ray responds, Thats right and you can swallow now. A few moments later, I said, And you can tell Sky, that you are with Mom and Dad now. We are going real slow and you are included nowthats what sensations around your mouth and throat meant back then. They were hard sensations. Sky swallowed and made mouthing motions. Ray responded, You can suck now. Sensations around your mouth can start to feel really different now as you start to heal. It can include good feelings, secure, connected slow feelings. It can feel and mean different things. It can feel really good to have mommys milk; your milk. Going into your mouth and down your throat. I said, Mommas milk is really nourishing and good. Moms milk is safe to go down. The meconium wasnt. Thats why they needed to get it out of your mouth. I think there is some confusion about that. Mommas milk is healthy, nourishing and good to go down. Its okay. No one has to get that out. It is different now. It is different. A different fluid in your mouth A few minutes later Sky slowly opened his eyes and then began to root on his fathers chest. His mom picked him up and brought him to the breast. Again, we were going very slowly and appreciating the delicacy of the moment. As he started to put his mouth around the nipple, his head bobbed back again, but not as strongly as in the first session. He began to get upset and activated. He was both reaching out to his mom with his hand and pulling away from her breast at the same time. His cry and expression voiced his angst. I respond with, Sky you are here with Mom and not in the hospital. This is about feeding from moms breast. And it can bring up some memories. I know you are remembering back then. There are a lot of mixed feelings about coming to the breast. It is different now. And when you are ready, you can find that out. When you are ready, you can find out that Mamas breast is different than back then. I know it is scary. Its scary. I know you dont know until you try. Mom finally brought him up to be on her chest. He was reaching out with his hand as intensity of his angst increased and continued. After a few minutes of reflecting and empathizing, I made a more overt intervention. I matched his
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intensity and said, Im going to make a statement for him: I want to nurse so much, but it brings up so many feelings. It is so hard. It is so hard. I want to and it is so hard. It is scary. Sky, I can see it brings up that scary place and you dont know. Its scary to try again and to see if it really is different. Sky immediately quieted and settled, raising his head and said Yeh, as he rested his head on moms chest. The following week the parents reported two days after the session Sky nursed for fifteen minutes for the first time. The next day he had been inconsolable and the following day had been his best day yet, being more content, smiling, happier. Since then he nursed successfully. At some later date, we watched Skys birth on video. It was stunning. As we watched the sequence of interventions, it was clear where Skys distinct head jerking motion had begun. The movement matched the energy, rhythm, and intensity with which the doctor had suctioned him with the bulb syringe. This interaction had been the first sensations and encounter in the outer world and first sensations associated with his mouth and throat. It became clear that when he started to put the breast in his mouth, these beliefs, these perceptions and patterned responses would be activated. We put that together with the messages and beliefs he was receiving about what fluids mean going into his mouth: They are unsafe and must not be swallowed. All these interventions happened just as he arrived. They became part of the fabric and meaning of the journey of coming into the world and coming to the breast. If we look at his birth through the eyes of a traditional Newtonian paradigm, we would focus on the medical interventions done as protocol to prevent infection. Yet clearly, Sky shows us a broader impact of early intervention that needs to be addressed. Although Skys first weeks were very difficult, a new story began to emerge now. Utilizing the repatterning principles and understanding the power of our beliefs--that Skys behavior was based on meaningful beliefs of the world and that we could communicate together at levels of complexity far beyond what traditional models would suggest--Sky was able to move into a more nourishing and happy life based on more life enhancing beliefs. These stories stand for many others not told. Once we have the conceptions and perceptions to understand the language of beliefs, we can hear the stories babies are telling and respond to them in more healing ways.
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IN CONCLUSION This paper has focused on illuminating the power of beliefs and what babies are teaching us. Our earliest experiences lay the belief blueprints of our reality. Babies show us their beliefs all the time because they live in the world of their beliefs. Their beliefs come from a whole constellation of influences beginning with their own consciousness and what they bring in, intertwining then with the beliefs already embedded in their genetic material at conception from generations before them. Beliefs also come from their parentsthe guardians of their earliest experiencesfrom their parents conscious and unconscious realms, their present and past, as well as from environmental factors, other people, and energies around them. During conception, pregnancy and birth, these influences form a rich constellation, a synergy of impact, as they become embedded in the experiences that form our blueprint for life in the physical world. Although these early belief blueprints can become entrenched and continue for a lifetime, when brought to awareness and worked with directly, they are quite changeable. This paper portrayed one way to work with babies beliefs. The new field of energy psychology is opening up more ways to directly access and restructure constricting beliefs into more life enhancing ones. In working with beliefs, we are accessing the very foundation of organization of our reality. We are able to work directly to recalibrate and reorganize at a primary level affecting us on multiple levels--physical, energetic, emotional, mental, and spiritual. We can help babies repattern beliefs of constriction, fear, violence and separation into beliefs of connection and growth; beliefs that will help them experience the joy of living in a friendly, healthy world. In his book, Reinventing Medicine: Beyond Mind-Body to a New Era of Healing, Larry Dossey, M.D. calls for an evolution of medicine (1999). He articulates three eras of medicine. Era I Medicine focuses on physical medicine and is rooted in the Newtonian paradigm, thus a mechanical view of the human being. Surgery, procedures, drugs are the means of intervention. Era II Medicine includes mind-body and looks at the impact of consciousness within the person on their health and wellbeing. Dossey favors a shift in medicine into what he has described as Era III Medicine. This era stands on the premise that we are primarily consciousness in human form and calls for the inclusion of a broader spectrum of human experience
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and therapeutic interventions. Dossey has reported extensively on the use of interventions that incorporate transpersonal skills such as intuition, distant healing, practitioner intention, and spiritual connection (1982, 1989, 1993, 1999, 2001). I believe it is vital for those of us in the healing arts working with prenates and babies to broaden our views of babies and the ways we can help them, based on the premise that we are primarily consciousness. Many in our field have carried this torch for years, and I acknowledge and am grateful to them. Jenny Wade (1996) led the way in developmental theory with her groundbreaking transpersonal model of development that incorporates prenatal and perinatal psychology research and perspectives. I call on the many complementary fields dealing with infants and infant development and intervention to incorporate consciousness in their conceptualizations and research. The next step in my mind is to translate what this premise means in terms of learning to read babies language of beliefs and to relate with them at a whole new depth that accesses not only more of who they are, but more of who we are as well. During the prenatal and infancy period, babies are beautifully open to learning and connecting at a profound level. Many of us spend much of our lives seeking to touch that potential again through love, beauty, solitude, meditation and prayer in order to re-connect with the Divine. Often though, because of our wounded beginnings, the pathway to our soul has been etched in sorrow, tragedy, and loneliness. What pathways do we want babies to have? In those months in the womb and infancy, babies have the potential to develop pathways of growth and loving connection. Those early experiences deeply interweave the perspectives of consciousness as they transition to physical life, experiences that intertwine the physical and non-physical realms of experience. The more we can hold this richer perspective for the baby, the more this synergy of Self in human form can become the beliefs blueprint for life. When we hold this, the sacred journey of consciousness can again take priority and we can create more pathways of exploration of human life filled with deeper connections to the Divine, to self, others, humanity, and to the earth herself. As the Beatles sang, And the world would be a better place for you, for me. You just wait and see!
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Being With Babies - What Babies Want

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What Babies Are Teaching Us A Collection

Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., R.N.

Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.

What Babies Are Teaching Us A Collection

Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.

Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.

Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.

Copyright November 19, 1996 Revised May 2000

Copyright June 1997 Revised 2000

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Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., R.N.

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The Power of Beliefs: What Babies are Teaching Us

Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., R.N.

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