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Sydney Underwood Ms. Caruso English 1102-059 April 10 2012 Fireproof Flameproof September 11th, 2001 was a day that not only America, but the world will never forget. Its tragic happenings left the nation devastated. The World Trade Centers being hit by hijacked planes, was not what the nation was expecting at all. No one really knew how to take this terrorist attack. Some turned from religion, while others strayed; some became more patriotic, while others blamed the government; and families fell apart, while others were brought closer. No matter what happened that day, we all look back and remember those that lost their lives, gave their lives, the survivors, and what we could or could not have done differently. Regardless of our personal feelings, as a country we came together and became stronger. There have been countless documentaries, autobiographies, and interviews of survivors telling their story, but not a novel like this one. This novel is different in the way that it depicts an all-American family struggling and how the tragic event may temporally pull them apart but in the end, it pieces a broken family back together, which is focused towards teenagers that are beginning to stray away from their families and push away the ones they love the most, young couples who may be struggling through a marriage that they are beginning to question, and even families that are starting to fall apart unwillingly. For John McWilliams and his family, this tragic day affected them in many ways. John was a New York City firefighter, who worked long days and nights, to provide the best for his high school sweetheart, their son, and daughter. John was raised in a strong Christian home and
Comment [US4]: Combined these sentences for a smoother flow. Comment [US3]: Added a little more about who this novel was written for earlier on in the proposal Comment [BC2]: Work to give quick, more concrete details. Comment [US1]: Added this to clarify the historical event quickly.

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wanted to instill these values into his own family. As the head of the household and the bread winner, John continuously works long days to provide for his family. Because of his absence at many of his childrens important functions, his children begin to react in a negative way and show resentment towards their father. His wife is raising the kids practically by herself, and is literally worn and burnt out. Tension begins to rise in the McWilliams household. Not only is there tension between John and his wife, but also his children. His son starts to stray from the Lord, and begins heading down the wrong path, by hanging out with the wrong crowd, experimenting drugs, and using females for the wrong reasons. No matter how hard John tries to be there for his son and lead him down the right road, his son only gets pushed further and further away. Johns family tensions dont stop there. His daughter begins to get involved with older guys in negative ways to gain the male authority figure and attention that she isnt receiving from home. All of this tension is really putting a toll on the family. As this All-American family is struggling behind closed doors, like many American families, John is seen working hard each and every day to provide for his family. He continues to work long hours at the fire department, devoting his time to give back to the community and serve for a greater purpose. September 11th, 2001, John is headed to work just like a normal workday. Around eight in the morning he is called to the scene of the World Trade Centers. Upon his arrival, he realizes that this is serious, and the biggest call he has ever arrived to, feeling very unprepared for what is to come. At this moment, he puts all family issues aside to rescue these individuals, envisioning them as his own children. One after one he is seen carrying bodies out of the building, saving life
Comment [BC9]: Elaborate on the importance of this. Comment [BC7]: Informal. Comment [US8]: Removed due to informality Comment [BC5]: Informal. Comment [US6]: Removed this word for more professionalism

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after life, and heads right back into the building without hesitation. About thirty minutes later, Johns coworkers realize that he hasnt come back out after the last run in. They begin risking their own lives to save one of their own. A few minutes later, after frantically searching, he is found trapped in some debris. His coworkers struggle to free him immediately, but are unsuccessful. They call for back up and an hour later, are able to free him from under the pile of debris. He has third degree burns all over his body and unconscious. John is rushed to the hospital and wakes up to his family by his side. After the competition of that day and the several thereafter, John and his family continue to live their life. But something seems different. September 11th, 2001, was an eye opener for this family. They saw how closely they came to losing the one they love most. John cut back his hours at work to spend more quality time with his family. He began to focus on the little things that the past few years, he was too busy to realize. John was able to first piece his marriage back together, bring his son back to the Lord, and give his daughter the attention she longed for and needed. This once All-American family now truly is All-American. They live each and every
Comment [BC11]: Sydney, Comment [BC10]: Rather than just skimming over this section, give detail. Show the reader what it is that we can envision.

day for the next and realize that anyone of them can be gone in a heartbeat. This book is geared towards mainly teenagers, newlyweds, and families of all ages. The reader will be able to relate to John and his familys lifestyle, struggles, and triumphs; realizing that Johns family was fireproof. They will take with them that families shouldnt focus on the money, material things, or wants; but focus on the irreplaceable things.

You have a well-thought-out concept here, and I certainly think that people would be interested. I can also tell that you have worked hard on this paper, and it has paid off. As you look to revise, Id like you to work on giving more of a focus to the events of 9/11. Give description of what was happening. Also, you dont seem to talk about the purpose of the text. Work to give a clearer statement of purpose so you can continually contextualize your ideas within that purpose. Also, I try giving the marketing ideas in a paragraph other than the conclusion. Leave your conclusion for concluding your ideas about the concept as a whole. Im looking forward to seeing what youll revise in the portfolio! -Ms. C