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Super Literature Stadium Miracle Baseball by

! TITLES Opening credits are superimposed over screenshots of the city to the sounds of Henry Mancinis Moon River.

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SUPER: Au milieu de l'hiver, j'ai dcouvert en moi un invincible t -Albert Camus FADE IN: EXT. CAFE - DAY Holden sits alone with a sole glass of water at the otherwise empty table. HOLDEN This place is so phony. A mysterious figure leaps onto the scene and leaves a small green card. The card reads, For a good time, call *insert random number here* HOLDEN What phony piece of paper is this? Hmm... I am so lonely from isolating myself from people as a form of protection after my brothers death, I might as well. Holden dials the number in desperation for human interaction. After, Alyona Ivanovna answers. HOLDEN Hello? INTERCUT BETWEEN ALYONA EXT. SEDUCTIVE AREA BETWEEN TWO TREES - DAY ALYONA Zdrastvoyte

! 1920s-style title card appears. Elegant motifs around the edge of the frame. A clean, serif font gives the English translation: Hello. HOLDEN Povtaryte pa rooski? Title card: You speak Russian? ALYONA Da. Da. Kak dela? Title card: Yes. How are you? HOLDEN I am lonely. ALYONA I will comfort you, because I am a prostitute now. HOLDEN All right, but dont be so phony for chrissake. Time passes. Alyona appears at the cafe table in a Russian flourish. ALYONA (seductively) You called? Unperturbed by Alyonas repelling nature, Holden strikes up conversation, ignoring Alyonas sexual advance. HOLDEN Goddam. Chrissake. How are you? ALYONA Ya horosho. Title card: I am good.

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! Suddenly overcome in Holdenesque antisocialness, he freaks out about the thought of talking to a prostitute. HOLDEN No! No. Goddam. Why would I call for a good time with some crummy old phony? ALYONA ! (emotionally wounded)

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How ever will I make a living now that my pawnbrokerage is no longer a source of income and I have turned to the oldest profession much like that sinful Sonia? The mysterious figure from above enters, revealing herself to be a mime. Obviously upset, the mime waves her hands about in elaborate mime sign language. Title card: I am disappointed in your words, Holden, but I believe in second chances. I gave you the chance to break your isolation, and you squandered like a buffoon. To prove that you yourself are not phony, you have one hour to form a baseball team. You shall bring your team to the Wrigley Field, where you will face me in nine innings that shall determine your fate. If you pass my test, you will be allowed to continue your life as you wish. If you fail, you will be cursed to the same silent, colorless world that I was cursed to many years ago -and I will inherit your voice. Exit Mime. HOLDEN Wha-, wait! What am I supposed to do now? Er, lady, I know we got off to a bad start, but would you like join my baseball team? Im real desperate. Alyona sighs and nods in acceptance. HOLDEN I only got an hour, so lets go find some more players. EXT. FOREST - DAY Holden and Alyona run looking for recruits.

! EXT. WRIGLEY FIELD - DAY INT. CHIROPODIST OFFICE - EVENING

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