Project

S
By: Shaine

Prologue
In the dark of the night, silence prevailed. As the moon shone its full grace, a mansion stood in its solitary grandeur. Every crook and corner of the property was guarded with perfect security or so they thought. Unknown to its highly paid security and surveillance, a shadow crept into their midst. Silent and mocking, the shadow went to where the object that it aimed was hidden within the mansion. Neither sound nor movement alerted any of the one hundred guards. The shadow was certain for it carefully watched their routines from an inconspicuous distance for a good length of time. The shadow was finally inside the mansion. Stealthily, it went to the mansions control room. Hey, did you see that? the man inside the room said. What? his partner asked. Probably nothing, eyes playin tricks on you. Im sure, I saw something move. The first man considered his thought further, Nevermind. Hey do you think that thiefs gonna show up, like boss said? With boss hiring a hundred blokes for security patrolling the area I dont think so! Maybe the thief got scared witless. Who knows? Whats he called again? Something like those characters in X-Men. You mean, Shadowcat? Oh no, the last I heard, it was The Cat sounds girly to me, if you ask me. But Folks said it was a boy. Imagine that? A boy outsmarted the police, you say? I say the bugger works for some kind of Mob you know the world of organized crime and all sort of crap like that. Well, boy or not, he stole a lot already. Righto! And, he stole from all those arrogant millionaires. I wonder how much he gets, stealing stuff like that.

About a million per item, A new voice intruded, Excuse me. Startled by the intruding voice, they tried to turn around to see who the intruder was. But they felt a sharp pain at the back of their necks, and before they knew it, they fell back unconscious. On the screen, an image was reflected. It was a mask painted with the likeness of a cat. Then everything went dark.

Chapter one
Five years ago Wake up
I knew I should have been asleep already. But something was telling me not to. And then, I heard it.

Wake up! Dont sleep! The soft lilting voice said.

I wanted to follow what the soft voice said. But something stronger was keeping me from doing it. Like a leaden weight on my eyelids.

You cant. Wake up, the soft voice was upset. You have to.
I knew it was wrong to force my eyes open. It felt like I was breaking the rules of what? I wasnt so sure. Everything felt so heavy. As if my own body didnt want to follow that voice. But I had to know why the lilting voice was upset. It felt like I was in a nightmare. Like one of those bad dreams when you cant wake up even if you tried so hard.

WAKE UP! NOW!!

Vaguely, I heard something break. Like a thin glass breaking into tiny little pieces. I gasped as I opened my eyes to the darkness. Why was I awake? I should be asleep. The people in the house said so. I looked around the wide room as my eyes adjusted to the dark. Nothing. I couldnt find anything in it. What was I looking for?

Theyre coming. Run. The voice spoke again. Of course, I was looking for that
voice. It woke me up. I glance around the room and found the same emptiness. No, not empty. Somehow I felt something in the room with me. Like a presence. I should have been afraid of it. Yet, I felt as if it was part of me. Like it was there to protect me.

You have to run, the voice pleaded again.

Why? I spoke softly, as if I was afraid that someone else might hear.

Theyre coming. Evil. Run. Theyre evil, the voice was frantic now. Youre too young, run.
I couldnt understand what the voice was saying. But, I knew that the voice was not lying. I ran towards the cabinet, where I knew the clothes were kept. It was cold. So I wore a shirt under the sweater. I changed into the thickest pants my hand could touch in the dark. Hastily, I untied the blue ribbon from my long braided hair. I coiled it into a tight bun at the back of my head before I secured it once again with the ribbon. I searched for my snow jacket. The one dad gave me for my seventh birthday. I loved that jacket, because it was white and warm. The first time I wore it, the jacket was too loose. But it was one of the reasons why I simply loved it. It was the last birthday gift dad gave me.

Hurry! Theyre coming! The voice was frantic again. Then something bumped
against my feet. I looked down, and saw my shoes. The ones mom gave me. I sat down on the floor and put the shoes on my feet. As I tried to tie the laces, the voice threw the jacket to me. I knew there was no one else who would do that. Wear your jacket. Its cold outside. I left my laces, and donned the jacket that I was looking for. I stood up. As soon as I zipped my jacket close, I looked down on my shoes. It didnt surprise me when I found them tied neatly into two perfect bowknots. Then, I remembered something important. I dont know where to go, I said to the voice, mom and dad are gone. For a very long time, I have felt like I was a stranger in a strange land. Two years ago, several people went to our old house. I remembered looking out the window, waiting for my parents to come home certain that when they did, theyll hug me and ask me if I was hungry or what I wanted to eat for dinner. It was almost dark when an old man came out of a black shiny car while the others stood outside like perfect guards with their black identical uniforms. The old man walked towards our house and knocked on our door. Saying that he was my grandfather, he told me that my parents wont be coming back for me anymore. Right after he told me that mom and dad were gone, they brought me here. They said that this was my new home. But, I always knew that there would never be a home for me anymore. They just brought me to a new house.

We can hide you, but not yet. You have to run. Hurry, theyve passed the gates. Open your window.
My window? I crossed the room as fast and quietly as I could and slid the window open. There was something very wrong. Everything was so quiet. No animals, no insects. Nothing. I tried to raise my eyes towards the sky.

STOP! DONT LOOK UP!

Voices? There were two voices? Why? I asked as I whipped my head back into the room. Why are there two of you?

Youre different. Youre stronger.

They both said, but they were from different directions. The new voice came from outside, while the voice that woke me up came from inside. I didnt know if I should be afraid of hearing voices.

Dont be afraid, the first voice said.

I cant see you.

Yes, you can. Try very hard, the second voice said.
I dont know how.

We dont have much time. Theyre very close, the first voice said worriedly. She can do it, it will be better. Shes strong, the second voice argued, Shes strong. Think of something as you hear my voice, hurry, the first voice said quickly. Hurry.
Something? I thought to myself. But what?

You can do better than that, the second voice was annoyed at the first voice. We dont have much time, the first voice pleaded again. Anything! Think of anything and push it out.
Suddenly, the first voice pushed me out of the window. My mind went blank. But in that split second, I saw myself standing in the middle of a hallway. It was a familiar hallway. Then I remembered the day when I was brought into this house. I wandered around the house, like a forlorn and lost child that I was. Lost in my numb shell, in desperate hopes to keep myself from falling into the darkest well of despair, I drifted without purpose. Until, I found myself standing in front of a portrait. I stared at this strange painting where I felt a pair of green eyes staring back at me. I thought it was alive and that it wanted to tell me something important, and before I knew what I was doing, I felt as if I was pushing something out of my mind.

Something caught me midair. I dared to open my eyes. For a moment I thought I would hit the ground face first. Hoping that I would be lucky not to feel the pain of the fall, I squeezed my eyes shut with cowardly haste. But not before I noticed the huge shadow looming over my falling body.

Oh God, Id be smashed flat!

It was as if time was suspended in air. I dreadfully awaited the ear-splitting crack of my body breaking like some jigsaw puzzle. Or maybe I would get lucky and it would only be muffled thud since the ground was made of pure dirt and not cement. Or maybe I would be thanking my lucky stars a hundred times for making me faint before the terrible end of my very short ten years. Or praise whatever guardian angel I have a thousand times for waking me up and say that this was just one of those little bit frightening nightmares. Suddenly I felt myself tilting in the air, as if what ever caught me a while ago flipped me. Then, to my overly sensitized ears, I only heard a soft thud. I felt myself draped over some kind of furry stuff. Ah my beloved bed. Maybe this

was really just a nightmare.

Wait. My bed was never this soft. My bed never made me want to bury myself into it.

Grrrowllll
I felt something vibrate underneath me. Beds definitely do not VIBRATE! Slowly I opened my eyes. Its about time you opened those eyes. It was the same lilting voice yet there was something odd about it. Somehow, they seemed more real. I tried to raise my head and found myself staring at a pair of slanted green jewels. The jewels blinked.

The jewels blinked? Jewels dont blink. Theyre not

I let my gaze roam around and found myself sitting upon an enormous cat while it was staring at me. A giant black cat was looking at me and Did it just talked?! Yes, I speak, Puzzled yet amazed, I watched the cats mouth move as it spoke the words. I didnt know cats could talk. I wonder how they do that. Maybe if I asked No more questions for now, just hold on tight. it snapped. Maybe my thoughts were written all over my face. I remembered when my dad use to say that I was not very good at lying. Then the voice softened, Im sorry. But we dont have much time.

Its alright. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a small voice told me that I should be afraid. But as odd as it seems, I wasnt. As if a talking with a uh whatever it was was something I did every day. It must be because of that lilting voice. As soon as I clutched onto a handful of fur, I felt the subtle flexing of muscles underneath me. It was as if this huge black creature which looked exactly like the cat in the painting, was preparing for something. Before I could ask what it was planning to do, it shot forward like a racing horse. Or in this instance, a racing cat! A shock of cold wind whipped against my face. It stung. Who would have known that this would hurt? Unless they were riding something that ran faster than a wild horse

chased by a devils swarm of bees!

Maybe, if I didnt fix my hair into a braided bun before leaving, it would be flying wild like a witchs hair. And it might have been ripped right off of my head or whipping my own face, just like Medusas hair. I held on tighter. What if I fall? Or God forbids, what if it stumbled over some

accursed rock and we both fall? Please dont let me fall. Oh God, please dont let me fall. Oh, please oh please You wont fall. We wont let that happen, the other voice interrupted my litany. I
almost forgot that there were two of them. I would have opened my eyes if the whipping cold air didnt remind me where I was. I knew that my ears heard the rustling of the leaves or bushes, or whatever it was that rustled when something passed by with hell-bent speed. How can you say that when I never said them out loud? I wanted to say, but I kept it in my head.

I can hear your thoughts and you can hear mine, the same soothing voice said.
How about the cat? Can he hear my thoughts too? Of course I can. Thats part of the link between a Numen and their human. But only if the human wanted to. I knew the cat said that aloud. I could almost feel it in my ears. With a mixture of suspicious laughter and challenge in his voice, he said, Why dont you open your eyes?

Open my eyes?! You crazy cat! I wanted to scream, instead, I dont want to. What if
we hit a tree?

Dont worry. That wont happen. Hes one of the best racing Numina that Ive known. This is just like a mere passing by, the other voice said and had enough grace to
chuckle at my thoughts.

Oh God! Was that supposed to reassure me? I groaned inwardly.

This time the soothing voice just laughed quietly. Cant we just stop? I tried to ask them as the words were muffled by the thick fur of the cat.

We cant, yet. But soon. How vague can that be? I was tempted to retort. But I bit back the rude words. I could almost feel their laughter in my head. Wasnt thoughts enough? Why dont you try opening your eyes? The voice entreated, Just a glance wont hurt. Wait let me think about that? NO! I havent lost my mind yet.
Oh, come on! I didnt know you were such a coward? the cat had the nerve to mock me? And call me a coward to my face I mean, in my head? I glared at the back of the cheeky cat! Who said I was

Wow
I knew my jaw dropped. But who cared? Who even cared if the cold wind was still whipping my face, or the trees looked like indigo blurs in the dark of the night? What I saw almost made me feel like Im in some enchanted forest. I didnt notice the cat had slowed a bit though it was still fast enough to make me feel the blast of cold wind on my face. We were running well, technically, it was just the cat past a sea of mist. Oh no, not mist. It was like the forest was standing on cloud of bright dust in the night sky. As if everything in the forest grew from this sea of star-filled mist like stardust. Maybe they were. I havent seen anything like it in my ten years of living. I wished we could stop and lie down on this cloud-like mist. Beautiful, doesnt even begin to describe this moment. Magical. Yes, this utterly enchanting scene can only be called magical.

Thank you for making me open my eyes, I thought clearly. They didnt answer me
but I knew they heard it. I treasured the moment. Savoring it till it lasted. I kept my eyes open, since that unforgettable moment. Youre not afraid anymore? the cat asked easily. No. I finally admitted, I mean, I was, before, but not anymore.

We are almost at the main road.

You better hold on tight, the cat warned, well speed up. I waited for the dreadful feeling in my stomach. But surprisingly, there wasnt any. Instead, there was a subtle clenching of my stomach. It wasnt uncomfortable. I could almost feel the pleasant tightness spread to my limbs. I can feel youre excited. The cat said as he did as he slowly gathered speed.

Me? Excited? I was surprised to realize that I was really looking forward to a topspeed run. I settled more firmly onto his back. The fur in my hands thickened as I clutched tighter. I leaned forward, Show me your best run. With pleasure! the cat roared into the night. His hind legs dug into the dirt. It almost felt like we were flying. With a powerful force, he leaped into the air. He raced on.

AMAZING! The formless voice said in awe. I was about to ask her when I realized
that the wind was not whipping my face anymore. I noticed that there was a faint sheen of something golden against my clothes. It was like I was wrapped in a thin golden veil. I could still feel the rush of the wind against my face. But it wasnt as painful as it was a while ago. I wondered if it was the cats or the voices doing. But something was telling me that they had nothing to do with it. Before I could think further on it, I heard the cat roar. It sounded triumphant and at the same time challenging. I had to admit that it was infectious. I heard myself laugh in the evening. This is one of the best things that happened in my life. This was way better than horseback riding lessons! Everything in the forest looked like a single veil of running colors. As if, a painter stroked his brush against a mysterious tapestry. Suddenly, a shard of ice slid through my chest down to my stomach. If I wasnt holding a tight rein on the cats fur, I would have been unseated.

Theyve found us, the voice spoke harshly. As if it wanted to destroy whatever it
was that found us. Blast it! the cat growled. If it was possible to feel the cats muscles stiffen while running, I did. I could almost see him getting his hackles up. I wanted to ask what made them so intimidating. Just as I was about to open my mouth, I heard a distant howling sound. It made me think of menacing shadows lurking behind old mysterious ruins. As if they would gobble you up if you werent cautious enough. Hang on! the cat roared ominously. Before I could brace myself, the cat leaped into the air once again. His paws hit against the branch of some overgrown tree. The force of the contact was enough to knock me off the cats back. I was caught surprised. My hand slipped. Stupid child! I felt as if I was suspended on air again. I saw the cat push against the branch to catch me. Just as he was landing on the ground, I felt myself crouched once again on his back. The cat raced on as if I never fell off his back, I clutched tighter for dear lifes sake. He growled forcefully, When I say hang on, brace yourself! This time when he leaped into the air, I was prepared for what came next. As soon as his paws touched the branch, he leaped into the air once again. Vaguely, I thought the poor branch broke. Out of the blue, the trees were gone. As soon as the cat thudded solidly against a cemented track, I realized in that instant that we reached the main road. The cat followed the road. Where are we going? I asked.

To somewhere safe, where they cant find you, the voice answered me.
I wanted to ask them why. But, I remembered something they said when we were still at my room. Run. Theyre evil, they once said. I wanted to know who were the they, they were talking about. But I bit my lips in an effort to clamp my mouth shut from asking. I glance to our side. We were running a downhill slope. My eyes have long adjusted to the dark. Up ahead, the road winded. Far below us, it almost looked like a cliff. Yet, there was a trace of something resembling a road. Or, were those trees? I wasnt so sure.

Theyre gaining on us! I could have sworn the voice shouted in my head.

As soon as the voice said it, the chill I felt inside my stomach came back. A moment later on, the fierce echoes of snarling hounds filled the night. As they continued to bark threateningly, I could almost feel that shard of ice grow bigger. I could have sworn that the air felt colder and the chill seemed to creep out from everywhere. I tried to keep my mind from imagining further. But, I failed. When one was riding on something that was running as if there was no tomorrow, and suspicious angry dogs were on pursuit, it was no wonder my mind went haywire. They kept on barking furiously behind us. As if they meant to reduce us into cowering blocks of ice. They made me think of huge rotten corpse of dogs that was burned and charred in hell beyond any hope of resembling their dog forms. Then, their bodies thrown into some kind of dark pit, filled with decaying flesh that clung to their forms. As if, it would somehow make them look like dogs again. Then, they were released by Lucifer himself! into the mortal world to hunt us down with frenzied bloody eyes. As if this would earn them some bit of live flesh. A glutton for frightening myself, my morbidly obsessed mind even hinted that the bit of live flesh was courtesy of our pitiful bodies being torn to pieces.

Dont scare yourself, the voice interrupted my thoughts urgently. It will not help us.
The voice was right. All my imaginations gave more harm than good right now. Why was I even thinking of ridiculous things? I tried to calm down and focus on keeping myself from slipping off the cats back. As soon as I reined my fear, I heard an earsplitting howl somewhere on our left-side. Too late, I knew I shouldnt have spared a glance. The first thing I saw was a pair of endless angry slashes that ran unmercifully in opposite direction from the midpoint. I knew deep in my revolted stomach, that I would never have the mercy of forgetting the godforsaken sight. Those cruel gashes werent enough. Both seemed to have been forced wide open by a crisscross of thin steel wires. Behind them were uneven sets of reptilian eyes. One had two of them, while the other had three. Each appeared to have separate awareness, for, they rolled and dilated and constricted on their own. Every inch of my body twisted with an emotion that bordered between horror and revulsion. As if some unholy creeping feeling passed through my insides as thoroughly as it could. Yet I felt myself frozen by the sight.

Suddenly, it opened its jaw unevenly. Oh, merciful heavens, its going to chop my head off! I could almost see what was inside it the flaming ash of hell itself! I caught myself wishing furiously. As if by sheer will I could push this unholy whatever it is away from us. From out of nowhere, a rush of fiery feeling flooded my entire being. How dare

this this this THING bully us!

GO BACK TO HELL! YOU GODFORSAKEN SMELLY BEAST! I screamed at the top of my lungs. Before I could understand what I was doing, I envisioned the beast being pushed back into the gates of hell. I didnt understand what happened. Even as the beast was pushed back, as if something unseen hit it or pulled it. Even if, in front of my own eyes, the beast was swallowed by a ball of fire as it was consumed completely.

Well done! The voice in my head said clearly.

I did that? I couldnt believe it.

Of course!
Dont get too happy, yet. The cat growled, You shouldnt have done that! It only made you tired As soon as the cat said it, I felt something heavy creep into my limbs. It spread to my whole body like heavy crawling chains. I wish you hadnt said that. I grumbled, At least we got rid of it. At least, nothing would chase us. Im not so sure about that. The words were barely out of his mouth, when I heard the familiar cursed howling again. I groaned against his fur, aware of the tiredness weighing me down, What! There are more of them! I dared to take a quick glance at our pursuers. It should be nothing new. It was a relief that none of those five beasts was close to us like the one before. I squinted towards them. I couldnt be certain at what I saw. Was that smoke? It couldnt be. Or was it? There was something ghostly about that smoke. They appeared to be galloping towards us. Yet I couldnt quiet see their legs, or paws, or whatever it was they were running on. That very dark rolling cloud-like smoke seemed to

cover them. I wouldnt have noticed the smoke, except that it has an otherworldly blackness to it. I wasnt so sure where the smoke came from. Maybe from their own, ugh! What are those things? I heard myself ask faintly.

Hellhounds! The voice hissed, as if the very name offended it.

I knew my eyes would have popped out of my sockets, if I wasnt so tired to just generate that reaction. I turned my head back towards the cats fur. I could almost feel myself slipping from his back. But I felt something holding me in place.

I told you we wont let you fall.

I need you to hold on tighter, the cat spoke in haste. Were taking a shortcut! By sheer will, I held on tighter. I felt so tired, my hand almost shook as I clenched them tighter. It was a miracle my eyes still stayed open. Without warning, we jumped into the cliff. The cat raced down the slope as easily as running on plain path. I could see a cluster of trees at the end of the slope. We soared into the air. We hurdled over a couple of woods before we landed on one of them with perfect balance. Suddenly, I felt Cats hind legs flex. He leaped into the air once again, pushing us from one sturdy branch to another. Vaguely, I wondered how Cat could tell where to land exactly.

Did we lose them? I asked silently in my head. Not yet.

But we lost one of them. I heard Cat say smugly.

Good. I thought. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. That leaves four of them.
Suddenly I heard a very loud growling noise. Theyre much closer, arent they?

Not quite.
Were reaching the road again. Hang on! Cat roared. As soon as he said it, I felt my heart drop down to my stomach as we dived from the high trees. From out of nowhere, a bright light flashed against us. I thought my heart would burst as I heard the sound of horns blaring. For a moment, I thought we were going to die.

Cat shot forward and leaped down into another cliff. My heart almost leaped right out of my chest. It was pounding heavily against my ribs. We were almost hit by a freaking TRUCK! Breath, Cat instructed as he expertly ran down the steep slope and added, deeply. I inhaled through my mouth and held my breath as deeply as I could. Slowly, I exhaled. I could almost feel my heart slowing.

There are only three of them left, the voice intruded.

Somehow I felt some savage satisfaction in knowing that the truck smashed one of those hellhounds. It almost made me feel guilty. Just then, I realized that I wasnt as tired as I was before. Keep your strength, Cat huffed, well need that shortly. As is on cue, the hounds howled to signal their approach. Youre tired. I whispered, tears threatened to spill. Dont mind me, Cat panted. Then he growled more forcefully, Its almost over!

Be strong.
The voice was right. This wasnt the time to be a sniveling kid. I sniffed a bit loudly. When I say now, Cat spoke in a rush, you have to let go. I didnt have enough time to ask him why. As soon as we reached the solid pavement of another road, Cat roared, NOW! I closed my eyes and abruptly opened my palms. Cat skidded to a halt. I heard the sound of cement breaking as if it was clawed. I felt myself fly off Cats furry back. Unwittingly, my eyes opened just in time to see the glinting fangs of Cat seize the neck of my jacket. He whirled forcefully. The force was enough to throw me farther into the air.

It was amazing how many things happened in a seemingly short span of time, as if everything went on slow-motion. I felt like a detached observer wondering why the cat was so fond of throwing my body into the air. As my body flew, I caught sight of Cats tail being wrapped by an odd flame. It was almost as brilliant as his eyes. His tails, that was wrapped in a green blaze whipped against one of the hellhounds. Cat must have struck the beast so strongly it smash against the sloping wall. The green flame on his tail grew, as it enveloped the cats powerful form. It looked like the cat was wearing an armor of flame. When the flame reached his head, it fashioned itself into a warriors helmet. Cat jumped against another beast. It sent them rolling against the pavement with vicious power. I didnt see where they ended up, for my eyes caught sight of the last hellhound. It charged towards my direction and lunged towards me. Suddenly it burst into a very thick smoke. From within, a very large winged creature emerged as it screeched menacingly in the dark night. From out of nowhere, the soft voice screamed my name.

Lyra!!

Chapter two
The very moment my detached mind snapped back to my body, I saw three things: I saw heinous claws bursting out from the hideous winged creatures jaws as it continued to screech towards me. I saw Cat ripping the hellhound into shreds with his odd-flamed claws and fangs, which seemed to grow larger, as he dodged the attacks of the remaining hellhound. I saw myself being hastily wrapped in a golden fire that burned the shadowed claws as they reached me and oddly, the golden fire didnt seem to have the same effect on me.

I cant hold it off much longer in my current state, the soft voice struggled to speak. You have to fly. Fly?! How was I supposed to fly? Im just a wingless GIRL!
As soon as I thought of it, a ragged claw broke inside. Within a hairsbreadth, its dark baleful claw almost touched me. I had an idiotic sense of stepping out of the protective ball of golden fire. Fortunately or unfortunately, however one would see it, my brain started thinking. And its first coherent thought was: IM FALLING!

Find me! The soft voice didnt quite scream, yet it was loud enough for me to hear the plea in its voice. Find me, before its too late.
It was amazing how I could even think while I fell. How was I supposed to find

something I cant see while falling!

Something registered in my mind as my body felt the familiar feeling of falling: Cat showed up when I fell. My eyes shot upwards as my sight finally caught the suspended flaming golden ball. I ignored its struggle to restrain the flying beast. What was I supposed to find? I closed my eyes and found resolve. Ill try. I swear Ill try to find you. Besides, even if I hit the ground, I was certain that I wouldnt even feel anything. That was a small consolation on my half-coward brain as my body trembled in fear.

I couldnt open my eyes again, my fear took care of that. I desperately tried to picture the golden light in my head. I searched in my imagined golden ball. Its hopeless! I almost resigned myself to my end, when I felt a faint glimmer from somewhere. A slow realization hit me as I recognized where the glimmer was. Like curtain slowly lifting, a memory asserted itself in my baffled brain.

*****

The little girl stared at the golden light that still hovered above her. She looked at it intently and asked, Will you tell me whats wrong? The golden light dimmed as if it wanted to hide from her. But the little girl could still see it. Distantly, I thought the little girl looked familiar. Can you see me? The light asked. Sort of. Youre a golden light, right? The little girl was somewhat hesitant when she answered. The light didnt speak yet. Maybe she said something wrong. Maybe she shouldnt say what color it was. Did I uh did I say something wrong? No, you didnt. This came from a very large black cat that certainly looked like Cat. Vaguely, I chided myself. No, not Cat, but Pan. He didnt like it when I call him Cat. But I couldnt look at Pan, yet. My gaze was fixed intently on the light, never wavering for a moment since I first asked it what was wrong. I realized with a shock that the little girl was me. There was something happening to the light. Slowly, it shimmered brightly, like the rising of the sun at dawn. Was it just me, or the light grew warmer. I thought it would burn me, but I was wrong. This beautiful golden light had warmth like a mothers embrace in a winters night. Did this mean the golden light was happy? There were none who could see a formless Numen. Yet, here you are, saying that I am a golden light. Will you give me a name, dear child? A name? The golden light wanted me to name it her? Somehow, I believed that if I could really see this light like Pan, it would be a she.

I thought of a name. I wanted it to sound important. Something tells me that this light was an important one. Hmmm. Well, she was a golden light, I thought. I mulled over the thought of anything that was yellow or gold. Gold seems to be lacking for a name. My gazed flicked at the yellow flower in moms garden. What was it called? Oh, I remember. I used to call it Princess Daffy because it had a crown. Like a princess. But as I gazed back at the golden light, she wasnt just a princess, I thought. Shes like a fairy queen, a little voice in my head said. Uh are you a fairy queen? I wanted to know if the golden light was really a fairy. Her? A fairy queen? Pan snorted, Thats rich. At least she thinks Im a queen, not like some lowly subject. Cat. Forgive me, your highness, Pan scoffed, but I am quite pleased with my lowly form. Does that mean, she isnt a fairy? I asked Pan. Shes no more a fairy than I am, Pan said gently. Oh alright. I sighed. Does that disappoint you? Oh no, no, no. Its just that, well, you seem like a fairy queen to me. I explained hurriedly. Just like a flashbulb, I realized the perfect name for the golden light. Titania. That should be perfect for her, I thought to myself.

*****