Mariah Stewart Unit 4 Memoir 11/17/11

Perspective
We started up this hill, our rise, with the morning. After a night of foot-stompin, kneeslappin, marlbarah-suckin, budlight-chuggin, barn-dancin good time with the whole town of Wimberly. Often, I thank Universe when I realize a few thoughts after waking that the deep sleep and subsequent rise has granted me new eyes. This was one of those mornings. The sun gave me these new eyes and a light to help them see! When it rose, the sun illuminated a charming, hippie-run farm and vineyard amidst, from horizon to horizon, my beloved Texas Hill Country. Miles from home and everything routine, this was the most nourishing place and time of day for our growth. With our friends still on the ground weighed down by heavy heads, a byproduct of that dulling attempt to lighten their heavier hearts. Dainty girls snore and couples drool on each other. They are as out and uninhibited in their sleep as children. Three of us, the ones with the right idea, tip-toe around the sleepers, up a path and away from everything that wasnt on our level. We thought we must see this day from the right place to see it, above it. And so it goes we set out. We are three seemingly similar girls, distinct in specific yet huge ways. The smallest one, Ashley, is the oldest and really the biggest. She is assertive, maternal, strong, and distrusting. Kori is a far-off, thoughtful, dirty-blonde of 18. She goes to sleep to dream, yet has an amazing grasp on the sensibilities of the real world. A trait that my fingers, which awkwardly grapple with sensibility, envy. We locate a fitting spot on our path among the trees and plant ourselves. We spent hours hopping in the thickest of thickets of sticks, rolling around in dirt, spreading, shaping and manipulating the miniscule rock particles, with layers upon complicated, webbed layers of communication going on between simple, prolonged glances. Ashley pooped. Hours spent in the woods are very humbling. Kori and I revealed, calmly with confidence, answers to our lifes questions... and climbed, everywhere we could. We giggled and conspired the whole time, sharing every freshly discovered insight. Together we exposed what seemed to be the secrets and realities of life that are kept and only unlocked by time. We saw higher than ourselves and over the fuzzy lenses that normally cloud the occurring present into a distant, groggy place wrought with lessons from the past! (The things we unconsciously do to protect ourselves are all deeply rooted from the moral of all conflicts weve faced and they hinder us and lead us blindly places we didnt even know that we didnt have to go to its awful). We simultaneously caught on to what seemed to be epiphanies directly bestowed upon us from the universe itself. These are the seven lessons we learned on that hill, in order, step-by-step: I walk into the woods, bearing no defenses, fully wide-eyed, with intent. I LET GO and realize what gives matter, matter is just that, matter. This is the first and second lessons

Mariah Stewart Unit 4 Memoir 11/17/11

together as step one. Let go of materials, people, desires, resentments, tendencies, none of them matter. Important things are only important because the past and what I know now influences me to make this shit important. Let go of your boundaries. Let go, your tendency to remain clean and without injury. This is the third step, once you have dropped all that matters but actually doesnt really matter, you say, Fuck boundaries, fuck everything that has ever defined anything else. There are no more definitions, no more guidelines, only existence and non-existence. Then you walk into the woods. This is not a step, it is a given. Pooping on everything you have ever been told and throwing away boundaries overlaps with the fourth step, going all the way. Lets take this all the way, follow through. Im not going to half-ass this, if I am in the woods, Im gonna get ALL up in these woods. If I sit in the dirt, Im gonna rub that shit all over me. If I see a big pile a leaves and sticks that conceals potential danger, Im gonna jump into it, wholeheartedly. The fifth lesson isnt so much a step as a realization and a little necessary comforting. Everything is okay. (It is important that this is learned candidly but it is kind of a natural progression from the second lesson of step one so I believe others can reenact it naturally). The reassurance, the comfort, the love in these words is immense. Hearing them from a trusted peer is an amazing relief. I experienced a physical reaction when shed say it. Step six, to see the world for what it is, will take you aback. It is an amazing fucking place. Everything is beautiful and works together perfectly. The world is perfect, I see it as muddled and ugly everyday but really it is so perfect. I am so messy, nothing I do, make, or say comes out right. I am sweaty and smelly, hairy and blemish-y, there isnt a thing about me that is perfect. Yet I am. Every object, idea, fungus I see, all of us, everyone I have ever encountered is perfection molded in Mother Natures image and fine-tuned by time and perspective be what you see now. We are all fully flawed and perfected. All of these sub-lessons are mere notions of the culminating final truth that its all about perspective. Perspective has all of the powers of the world. You can change anything and everything about your situation on a dime with the magic of controlling your own perception. They carry one plastic bag, a sweater, and a 15-foot stick, or tree, rather. They wouldve looked crazy had someone not on their wavelength seen them. They are rounding out their journey, reaching the melancholic and inevitable realization that they have since passed the peak and are now coming down the mountain. But they arent coming home with what goodies they left with. Rather these girls share a new connection, secrets in the flash of an eyelid and the most coveted, pure peace of mind yet experienced. For what vague magic those three sweet, secret-carrying, well-intended girls tainted, hung over, and exploited as they were surrendered the conscious filters through which they normally perceive the world. This magic is so vague because it can never be understood past vague. The trick behind the magic is simply nothing but choice. Deciding to open your mind before you open your eyes is the key to every

Mariah Stewart Unit 4 Memoir 11/17/11

secret! By simply altering their individual perspectives they witnessed a beautiful, enlightening and inspiring world in a way most that a drone-like life would never permit. There is contentment in my heart and focus in my mind and therell be lovelovelove, wherever I go. Therell be lovelovelove wherever we go.