Never to be Married There are a multitude of controversies that we hear about within our society.

Several of the controversies we hear of seem to derive from some of the reality shows that come on television. Although most of the controversies deal with celebrities or spiritual evangelist speaking out about a topic that seems to be relevant to biblical principles, it is rare that we hear of those which deal with love. As reality television continues to expand, many shows portray women as objects and as if they are not worthy of having the attention of a man unless it is because of their appearance. One show that exemplifies this concept and further portrays women as if they are inhuman to the point where men can move from one to the other without feeling any remorse is The Bachelor. The Bachelor is a reality television series that debuted in 2002. As previously mentioned, the show depicts one male bachelor and approximately 25 female contestants. The bachelor goes on multiple dates with the female contestants each week, picking and choosing which dates have pleased him the most. In the first rounds of the so called game, the women are all with the bachelor at the same time. Then, after many of them are eliminated, the dates turn into oneon-one dates or two-on-one dates. These also turn into eliminations. When the show gets down to the final four female contestants, the bachelors go to the hometown of the women to visit their families. This causes one more to be eliminated, simply based on whether or not the bachelor liked the contestants family. The final three women get the opportunity to go on an exotic allnight getaway with their male counterpart. When one of the last three is eliminated and it gets down to two, the bachelors family is brought on the scene to help him decide who is best for him, with little knowledge of who the women truly are. Generally, the final cut comes from the bachelor to propose to the winner asking for her hand in marriage

The Bachelor has been promoting the idea of winning love for the last fifteen years. This show, which has since had spinoffs such as The Bachelorette and Sweet Home Alabama, primarily depicts one man who has the opportunity to go on multiple dates with pre-selected women all the while trying to determine who would be suitable for their life partner. The reality, in my opinion, of what this show depicts is the fact that the women, who are the contestants of this reality game show of love, are allowing themselves to be taken advantage of because the man is allowed to date one girl and then the other. This, in turn, allows the men and women to converse with one another but never have a true connection with, at least during the trial run of who the bachelor wants to date. The idea of bouncing from one woman to another makes it seem like they do not care about the contestants emotions. Due to the fact that the camera is ongoing, especially after a date, what the men say about their dates could ultimately go to prove what may or may not be a likeable trait. If a contestant views the show after it has been on the air and they hear what was said, it could lower their self-worth. Since the winner of the show is chosen with a proposal of marriage, it goes to show how upsetting the runner-up must feel after being left with nothing. More than likely, the runner-up has become emotionally attached to the bachelor and could suffer from mental issues, especially that of jealousy and perhaps even depression. Furthermore, the simple fact that the man she, the runner-up, must have grown fond of chose another woman could make her feel a strong sense of rejection, like she is not good enough. Regardless of what the issue is, it is apparent that many women in the world feel as though they are not good enough, whether it be based on beauty or weight. Lets imagine for a second that this were how things worked in real life. A woman, woman A, and a man are dating for about four months. At that time, he invites the woman to his house to meet his parents. When she gets there, to her surprise, there is another woman,

woman B he has been dating there as well. They all have a pretty good time and nothing is really said about this other woman not belonging there. Then, he asks both women to come to him. They stand in front of him and he proposes to woman B while woman A is standing right next to her. You can see how that could be very devastating to her psyche. Everything she thought about herself could be shattered in that very small amount of time. With that being said, what about the other 23 women? The winner gets the male contestant. The runner-up gets a lot of disappointment. What would the other 23 women feel when they are eliminated? Think about the first woman that is cut. The male contestant doesnt have any real time with them, so the elimination has got to be based on looks alone. When there are young adults and teenagers watching this program, it could act as a learning tool for people still trying to fit into the world. The world already teaches young people that if you are overweight, you wont fit in. That is partially the reason that so many women are bulimic or anorexic. According to bulimia.com, approximately 7 million girls and women struggle with eating disorders in the United States. This includes anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorders. Statistics show that 86% of women report the onset of the illness by the age of 20 years old. With women being shown that they have to look good physically or they will never get the guy, why wouldnt they be taking extremes to correct their weight problems? The worst part of the situation is that twenty percent of the people with eating disorders die because of malnutrition. As I have learned in my life, and as is apparent in every season of The Bachelor, true love cannot be won or bought. Going back through the seasons, I have noticed a trend that every single winner and bachelor break up after a certain amount of time. The young people that watch this show and fantasize about being selected by the bachelor are being misled that they would ride off into the sunset. They are led to believe that they would get married and have a wonderful

life with the man that chooses them over all the rest. The fact is that there is only one bachelor, within 15 seasons, who has married a contestant from the show. Season 13 bachelor, Jason, married the runner-up instead of the one he chose with the final rose. The false hope that this instills in its viewers seems to reflect a society that calls for compromised love. Further, the assumption that the bachelor and his chosen-to-be wife will get married when, in turn, it is not the case seems to give millions of hopeless romantics who watch the show the false hope that they, too, could appear on a television show much like The Bachelor and find the love of their life. The definition for true love as given by Webster Dictionary is unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. How would anyone expect to feel that way when you only know the other person for a few days or weeks? In the Greek language, there are three different words for love and they all mean love differently. First, we have agape. That would be and unconditional love. This is also used in Christian theology for the love God has for mankind. Second, would be phileo. This type of love is used for friendly or brotherly love. Philadelphia is nicknamed the city of brotherly love because of the root word in the citys name. Third and finally, the romantic type of love that we have for our spouses is eros. This is where the word erotic comes from. Not only are the women being objectified in this reality game show, but the men are being shown how to treat women, too. I never had a true father figure in my life. That seemingly small fact caused me to be influenced easily by what I saw on television. The way I saw men and fathers acting on television is how I thought I was supposed to be. I thought that being good enough would be sufficient. If I would have watched The Bachelor while I was in that state of mind, I would have treated women like they didnt matter. Im sure that women are not the only audience of this series. Teenage boys and young men that are in my past situation need to be told

the truth about how women should be treated. Not only is the treatment aspect horrible, but young men may also expect young women to line up for them and try, by any means possible, to get his attention. This is not even close to how the real world is. I dont know how anyone would be able to call this series a reality show. I do have to give a little credit where it is due, however. The producers of The Bachelor also created a spinoff entitled The Bachelorette. This television show has the same basic setup as The Bachelor. The difference in the two shows is the gender roles. In The Bachelor, men choose the woman that gets their attention and that they seemingly have feelings for. The Bachelorette, on the other hand, has the female making the choice about the man that has gotten her attention the best. Even though the producers made a wise decision when they made The Bachelorette, it is still the same educational tool that the original series was. It is teaching the same information, just to the opposite sex. With all of the sitcoms and reality shows on television, there needs to be more scrutiny to the ones that the youth of the world watch. If we want to teach our children and young adults how to respect the other gender, we need to filter the information they are given. We dont need them watching television shows that explain to them that they can just pick and choose one of 25 girls or guys that impress them. We need to make sure that our children realize that it is just acting and they shouldnt expect the process of finding love to be anything similar to the example shown on these series. If we would teach our children what true unconditional love is, rather than letting them watch these examples, there would be less divorce in our society. As most adults know, there is about a 52% divorce rate in the United States. That could very well be partially attributed to the lack of example and teaching. Also, it is possible that, with the right knowledge, there would be less teen pregnancy and abortion. These may not be directly

influenced by television shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but the amount of young people watching these shows and learning how to treat the opposite sex does. Regardless, the pressure of teaching the youth of America does not only fall on the shoulders of the parents, but on the media as a whole, including the producers of these two shows and should be treated with the utmost importance.

Work Cited Gurze Books. Eating Disorder Statistics. Web. 1 May 2012. http://www.bulimia.com/ client/client_pages/eatingdisorderstats.cfm.