Tondar & Co or Profit for the Fat man Chapter 1 ctd You have heard of course of the Dark

elves? Tondar gasped and leaned forward, Mear raised an eyebrow and muttered something to the Troll, who nodded and grunted knowingly. The old man in black said nothing but added another large log onto the hearth. I was employed briefly by The Great Caliphs brother, The Emir, to perform at a great celebratory feast in honour of a revered ancestor. Although it was a bounteous display, my journey home was many days ride, so I elected to retire from the party early. I had been given the darkest, most secluded room available so as to allow me to rest in the heat of the day but I had barely closed my eyes when I realised I was not alone. Elvish senses are keener than most, and even in the total darkness I could make out a darker shape edging toward the bed and I barely beheld a gloved hand reaching for my pendant. It has been held by my family for many generations and was brought over the Great Eastern Sea. I would not part with it, so at the last moment I seized my opponents arm and twitched my blade from it's scabbard. To my surprise it was parried just as quickly by a very similar blade and by an equally competent deflection. None of my people dwell in the lands of The Caliph, so I sensed rather than saw that this could only have been one of my dark kin. We fought and slashed and battled in almost complete darkness just the sound of our breath to give us away. But as we tore at each other something else took over us and our lips found each other and our weapons fell away and we began an older carnal battle. There was silence. Thone, you'll have to use cruder language than that if you going to win favour round this hearth, said Tondar Happened? Happened? grunted Grashkh peering at the Elf. I don't normally do requests.... but if you insist. Just finish the story, Minstrel said Tondar. Thone smiled, a rare thing for an Elf. We ripped each others clothes off and I tasted every inch of that Dark Elfs body, our passion knew no bounds in that sunless room and we fucked until we could not bear it and the pleasure was something I have never known before or since. We curled up dripping with sweat and slept in the darkness still without speaking a word.

But alas a thief is still a thief... and when I awoke, I was alone and the locket was gone. Only my shredded clothes and the taste on my lips remained... It was a fair price to pay. Tondar applauded and nudged the woman beside him again. Now that, Thone, is the best story you've ever told. And you said it wouldn't be a ballad!? What was she like? It was Sergeant Mear, but Grashkh was nodding in agreement. Was she like other Elvish women, tall and fair? Did she have the Dark elf obsidian skin and forked tongue like they say? Regrettably, it was much too dark to see what colour he was. Tondars' eyes bulged briefly in their sockets and then he roared with laughter and even shook Thones' hand. It IS the best story you've ever told, it is! I look at you now and I don't know if you're joking, I don't! Maybe I don't want to know if you are hey? he nudged the taciturn woman whose mouth and eyes were twitching with mirth. It took Mear a few minutes of guttural explanation and several obscene gestures to clarify the situation for Grashkh who then boomed with appreciative belated bass chuckles. The merchant stood up and stretched his stubby arms. Right then folks, I'm going to have a little sleep then Ill be right as rain and ready for my story about a very awkward barter I once made! Tondar shuffled off to his baggage, curled into a round ball and soon he joined the slow chorus of deep breathing sleepers that littered the Storm-stead. We won't see him 'til the morning now, it was the Baker woman. He likes to play the big Merchant does Tondy and I've seen him sell rocks to Dwarves before today but he's got no head for figures. I've known him for years and he's always full of surprises he's got a good heart though. She gave the briefest of glances at Sergeant Mear and then tapped her pipe on the hearth and refilled the chopped roots lighting it with a slender spill from the fire. She sucked until the smoke blew thickly around her tanned face. Is this where you tell us you used to be thin and beautiful and Tondar was a six-foot demi-god? No Sergeant Mear, s'far as I know Tondar was born fat, it's probably why he's lived through so many winters but I was considered pretty in my day. I was one of the Hill people, it's a grim life there so beauty isn't too common a thing and it's apt to spoil quickly in places like that, what with the weather and the hard life and such. S'long a time ago but if you can roll back the years on this body and picture me as I was with seventeen or eighteen summers on me. I'd walked too far from home one day, picking lantern-flowers, always looking for better one. It was dusk when I returned and too quiet. There was not a lantern nor a fire lit not the sound of a goat or a child. I called out and went from house to house and found no-one. Red Slavers? said the old man without looking up.

I don't know, but probably. There was a lot of cruelty in the mountains in those days. She puffed on the long-pipe for moment. I should've stayed there perhaps but I was confused and soon after I took my few things and set out for Medton, s'the only thing that passes for a city in those parts. Two days down the road I awoke from a fitful sleep to find someone binding my arms and legs. I was thrown over the back of some animal, and my heart sank, whatever had befallen my kin had caught up with me. I struggled and kicked at the bonds only to hear the roughest, deepest voice you could imagine. I was not on the back of beast but the shoulder of a man, covered in furs. He set down in front of fire and makeshift tent and called to his companion and I saw them both properly for the first time. They were Men of the Scar - barbarians. They had that animal look to their eyes and with their skulls and pelts they almost did look like beasts and their talk was so rough they might have been the growls of wolves. I lay tied on the ground as their talk became more fierce and slowly I understood. Pyetr and Erich were brothers and to pay some kind of debt Pyetr had asked his brother to find him a wife, namely me. However now that Erich had seen me in the light of the fire, he had in mind to keep me for himself. They threw off their animal skins showing their tattoos and scars, and finally they drew their daggers and prepared to fight each other. Just to have you as a wife? said the Sergeant I'd like to think it was all because of me, but most of the talk was about tribal honour and being somebody or others son. It suddenly dawned on me that any kind of fight would likely leave them both dead or mortally wounded with me as prey for wolves or worse. So I told them that in my tribe a woman could take two husbands and if they untied me I would show them how... She Mear chuckled with undisguised lewdness and even Thone spluttered in mid drink, which made even Grashkh laugh in his slow booming way. Amidst his baggage, still trying to sleep, Tondar listened to Nance the Baker tell a story that would have made a whore blush in all its purple glory. He had heard her tell it before and each time she was more comely and the Barbarians more lustful but from the chorus of laughs and coughs her audience certainly approved. Slowly he drifted into a deep sleep just as Nance began a part of the story that he was surely anatomically impossible.