Stephen A.

Krivitsky

Table of Contents The Dirty Room............................................................................................................................3 The Longest Year.........................................................................................................................4 Bunnies.........................................................................................................................................5 A Twinge of Splendor and a Pang of Happiness.........................................................................6 Night Spawns Tomorrow.............................................................................................................7 Lewd and Lascivious Behavior....................................................................................................8 In the Dark....................................................................................................................................9 The Carnival...............................................................................................................................10 Wake Me Before Its Over.........................................................................................................10 Down and Out.............................................................................................................................11 What Season Is This?.................................................................................................................11 A Breath of Spring......................................................................................................................11 Flowers Alive.............................................................................................................................11 Springs Prologue.......................................................................................................................11 Audible Pleasure.........................................................................................................................11 Winter Splendor..........................................................................................................................11 And the Rain Comes...................................................................................................................11 Do the Flowers Know?...............................................................................................................11 Blizzard of Envy.........................................................................................................................11 Quickly She Arrives...................................................................................................................11 Shining Green.............................................................................................................................11 Feel the Harmony.......................................................................................................................12 A Pause in the Day ....................................................................................................................13 Ink is Glorious............................................................................................................................14 Galaxy of Pain............................................................................................................................14 Mastery and Gimmicks..............................................................................................................15 A Parting Gift.............................................................................................................................15 I Am, I Do, I Use, I Ache...........................................................................................................16 Scheduled Procrastination..........................................................................................................17 Fallacies of Honesty...................................................................................................................18 Icicles of the Sun........................................................................................................................19 Munchausen Poetry....................................................................................................................19

Journal 3-2

The Dirty Room

from Surans List the vibrant red curtains drown out the morning sun piercing sharp pins dance upon my hangover the smooth cups there a tapestry of sorts littering the floor spectacular mosaic danglie edges of the loose-leaf paper tossed much to do laundry basket cries for help blue hoodie married to the soft pillow case my brain functions much as a dull pencil Ill never drink again

Journal 3-3

Desert sand Limbs Explosions Voices White clothes Orange and white cars Lying Devious Guilty Poor Inhumane Deadly Cursed by God Unforgiving Hateful Vengeance Loss of life Disfigured Vaporized Wild dogs Unbelievable Silence Friends Camaraderie Togetherness United Tired Long Torn Gone away Forever lost Tears Clouds of dust Fragments Shards of pain Suffering Hope Fear Prayer Contempt Heat Sweat

The Longest Year

The heat penetrates the core The driving wind provides no relief The faces a-blur, guilty, hateful Contempt the iris of their eyes This place cursed by God Wicked and unforgiving Parched lips stained by the sun Cracked, tired, scorched, lonely Blackness fills a hiccup of time Asphalt crashing about, am I here? Loudness surrounds like a flooding tide Another lost forever Camaraderie challenged, shredded From limb to limb Rain of red showers the autumn ground Unscrupulous dogs at night Scavenge, find a friend Lapping, feeding, enjoying The wholeness incomplete Memories are just painful fragments Forgetting the past a sin The longest year unfolds Another day done, another gone The sun sets again Brilliant reds like the rain

Journal 3-4

Soft Furry Cuddly Brown Round eyes Hopping Hoping Twitching Flopping ears Youthful Innocent Small Shy Hungry Pleasant Knowing Kind Simple Wiggling Jumping Orange Calming

Bunnies
Ive thought little about them And their brown, soft fur Lopped ears lopped Heavy against their head Hopping, hopeful for nothing Innocent and pure Their soul simple and kind A twitching nose Jumping and wiggling To and fro Shy but knowing Calming and soft Not a worry or care Consumes him ever Happy to be happy He thinks little about me

Journal 3-5

Eye of the beholder Sensitive Soft Womanly Bright Happy Content Blissful Peaceful Delightful Lavender Periwinkle Lace Flowers blooming Birds singing Sensible Beautiful Wonderful Hopeful Pleasing Joyous Splendid Bumble bees Happy thoughts Fairy tales Happily ever after Songs and harps White fluffy clouds Sunshine Soft breeze Roses Violets

A Twinge of Splendor and a Pang of Happiness

The colors of poetry floating across the script, dashing the text with Lavender, periwinkle lush, plush Peaceful verbs and splendid nouns Fill verse and stanza, lines and tense Simple, rudimentary to some In the eye of the beholder, poetry is Complex and intricate to me Stylish and telling through the passages Possessions that I know nothing of Eloquence that I cannot fashion Satisfying rhythm with beauty and grace The spectacle of bumble bees Embracing the breath of wind Loiter from flower to flower A spring waltz in the soft breeze The birds sing their admiration Such delightful elegance Surrounds me daily, content, joyous Happily engulfing life, devouring it The sunshine the encore And I havent the words And it pains me

Journal 3-6

Crisp Clear Star-filled Silent Wind is mute Leaves dance Spring awakens Life thrives No one notices Quiet Sparkle Shine The night Darkness surrounds Shooting star Tail of dust Birds silent Midnight rejuvenates The sun charges Dusk Dawn far away Awakens Night spawns day Day brings noise

Night Spawns Tomorrow

Spring awakens all The birds start their songs The squirrels bounce about The leaves ripen and burst Day brings noise The clatter of cars The yell of a new day The roar of activity Dusk declares the finale The world winds down The problems wait for a new tomorrow The heavens close Night spawns tomorrow The sparkle and shine of silence The star-filled sky awaits The crisp moon apparent Dawn labors the sun The hope of something better The midnight rejuvenation complete The sun revitalized And night bears a sun

Journal 3-7

Lewd and Lascivious Behavior

Eyes wander Thoughts ponder Hands roam Words foam Passion flares Skin bares A crash A flash Unwanted proposition Poor disposition Things dangle Crushing mangle Floor bound Hitting ground Groin pain Desire slain Fetal position Lost ambition Alcohol romance Not a chance Completely oblivious Lewd, Lascivious

Journal 3-8

Dreary Cool Safety Drizzle Dampness Gloomy Overcast Depressing Slumber Sloth Quiet Marching of the rain Cadence Repetition Tempo Metal roof Gutter Down spout Torrential Downpour Misery Desolation Sadness Hopeful Dark and grey Feeding spring Potential Growth Bursting color From the darkness

In the Dark
Tap, tap, tap, tap Rhythmic expression of gravitys Control over the rain Ingraining its tempo on the rooftop Echoing, resonating, deafening Tap, tap, tap, tap Roaring, weeping, the tears fall Spring will ignite in life Fed by the repetition of drops Drizzling, falling, careening Tap, tap, tap, tap The earth churns to the sound Lifeless dormant existence Nourished and rejuvenated Budding natural expression Tap, tap, tap, tap My overcast world so damp The march of the rain In cadence with life and hope greens outward, upward Tap, tap, tap, tap The flowers bloom, fascinating and Remarkable, their potential exposed Bursting color from the darkness Spring is here with a vengeance

Journal 3-9

The Carnival
The pink perfume of cotton candy Fills my head, swirling softly with The charm of salt water taffy Intertwined, intermingled with her It happily confuses my senses The bells electrify the night Winners and losers walk aimlessly Nomads of amusement thirst for The lights flashing trinkets the prize Children smile and cheer The screech of the brakes From serpentine rides signify another Journey complete - happiness and joy Laughter and screams, giggles Taunts of the carnie worker The mist of the ocean tickles as a whisper of breeze Comes to shore. The welcome Coolness, a sigh from Neptune Delighted with the happy children The roller coaster clanks to the apex Of the first hill, the best hill To release the passengers to the bottom Screaming, excited, wonderful They venture rapidly along metal tracks Above the moon illuminates The excitement and exhilaration Brought to bear by the carnival Once a year, never enough Children shall yearn for another year

Wake Me Before Its Over

I would like to remember Things of my day Passing by in a clouded haze something to grasp onto But the day is the same As every other day Meshed together With more and more days Slurring together in a large Unemotional blob of time Etched in habit and repetition Entertaining me not Realism is a hoax Brought to bear by insanity Keeping real things at arms distance Creeping through the boredom A spark to life would Lift my spirits to heaven It would be most appreciated In this routine maze Work should be exciting Invigorating, enjoyable, remarkable Yet here I am, stunned by Sameness tired and uneventful Until tomorrow, I will see The same of the same To which there is no end Unless of course, I quit

Journal 3-10

Down and Out

While at the bottom Of a deep bucket of shit Everything looks like up

Winter Splendor
Fantastically fantastic Tingling sensations of winter Clear and silent snow

What Season Is This?

Savage red piercing If death itself a season Then this is quite that

And the Rain Comes

Clouds close the night sky Twinkling stars encore denied Ripe wetness enters

A Breath of Spring
A billowing breeze Refreshing, fragrant, loving Smiling knowing wind

Do the Flowers Know?

Do the flowers know How delightfully delicate Smiles of children flow

Flowers Alive
Pushing upward now Tulips of spring awaken Crimson, yellow, bright

Blizzard of Envy
As the wind whirls cold Sweltering heat diminished Wishing to return

Springs Prologue
Handsome singing robins Dancing, tweeting and playing Splendor of nature

Quickly She Arrives

The finishing touch Winters last call to penance Spring comes abruptly

Audible Pleasure
Happiness through sight Sounds of delight echo clear Freshness abundant

Shining Green
Lightning bugs clarify The darkness of humid nights Green dots faultless light

Journal 3-11

Feel the Harmony

The tempo fast and furious Blazing sounds fill the inner spaces Mind on edge, catapulting to and fro Exciting and exuberant passions Clinging sounds with no text Screeching and whining strings aflame Delightful rhythms, strumming vigorously Energetic and electric, power and poise The instruments talk to me Softly, loudly, silently, deafeningly Slowly it conquers the mind It snares the senses wholly The melody is contagious Infecting me with happiness and joy Bringing me to hum along Mutually entangled within harmony Palpitations mirror the salient cords Changes to eloquent melody inspire Deep serenity and tranquility Fill the endless reaches of the soul

Journal 3-12

A Pause in the Day

Im trying, so very hard Im trying My addiction clinging to me Me clinging to my addiction The smoke, the relaxation, the urge It was my break from it all A pause in the day Providing me contemplation Personal reflections and escape It pains me to quit No one likes a quitter It is killing me Both to quit and to continue I must win, I shall be victorious Against this evil, this death For not only me But the ones who know I can And I must, and it is not easy Twenty years passing by Since the day I started Let naivity die, not me Give me the strength to continue The tolerance of understanding The wisdom to overcome And the desire to defeat death This addiction claws into me Not wanting to let go of its meal I am the fruit for plucking Temptation started me I will win, I will quit, I will survive Twenty years of wear and beating My body still well enough to recover I will stop smoking

Journal 3-13

Ink is Glorious
Ideas bounce in the dura mater Side to side, front to back Rattling inside this empty skull Finding the drain to escape Burrowing down, down, down, electrifying the digits Fidgeting digits, nervous and unskilled Moving fluidly, entangled tango of pen and paper Jumping, prancing, pointing, driving The lines appear, the blackness wonderful And splendid, eloquence borne Words scribed in eclectic order The ink is glorious

Galaxy of Pain
We lost you And there is nothing to say We miss you, and of all things We are glad it is you and not us Is that fair? Is that good? Sorrow is mixed with shame Shame is mixed with envy Envy is mixed with pain And it is overwhelming to us To me And Im saddened, crushed Floating through aimlessly This galaxy of pain

Journal 3-14

Mastery and Gimmicks

Those that cannot do Teach Those that cannot teach Follow Those that cannot follow Get elected Those elected ones Love Themselves

A Parting Gift
Before you leave me For the final time So you say so seriously Your departure a joy For me more than you But as a parting gift To you from me Is simply to know You arent here And Im not there But the gift is advice And a prayer Dont come back

Journal 3-15

I Am, I Do, I Use, I Ache

I am meticulously disorganized My things aflutter and agitated And I schedule procrastination To begin, and again to end Seems no need for either Eloquent obscenities resonate from me For I cuss too much I do believe in honesty, I do And the fallacies sweating from her I use the icicles of the sun To quench my thirsting needs To find the words enriched by Estrogen and tragedy And I ache over the words to write For great expectations for a poem

(This poem is a poem of titles of other poems written in this section)

Journal 3-16

Meticulously Disorganized
Piles of paper on the disorganized desk Indicate a thoughtful mind Meticulously filing In an efficient and eclectic manner A system known to one And no other For it is a simple system To one who knows The crumpled news to the corner Completed reminders saved Proof of work Evidence of accomplishment In a machine that produces nothing A servant and slave to gods That wish for miracles Organized chaos and routine Disasters at every turn Careful, perfect, thorough Meticulously disorganized

Scheduled Procrastination
Due tomorrow Ill schedule my conclusion To make sure Im done Reasonable time remains Whats left plentiful No need to plan Well see how it turns out Working now without gains

Journal 3-17

Eloquent Obscenities
Mostly, the words come to me swiftly Curiously at first, but then rhythmic In their tone, but not their nature The words strike deeply All the way to the marrow But not so to my vocabulary Exclaim, shout, praise, defy Embrace, anger, poignant They are not the words I should say Nor, the words I should use Eloquent they are not Profane they allude Obscene they are

Fallacies of Honesty
The truth may set you free But not from hurt and anger Through it you will find The reason for which to lie The truth is simple and plain In word, deed, and meaning But it is not so When dealing with death The words of truth Are the hardest to pronounce Difficult to annunciate And painful to declare It is freedom to release The truth from your mind But the pain it infuriates Cannot be dulled with time

Journal 3-18

Icicles of the Sun

As the sun sparkles and shines Does it know what I think Heavy with delight it shines so Enlightening and illuminating My day is not complete without its cast I yearn for its gaze and approval But the torment of the changing season Brings anger and disdain The heat not brought with the glow Chilling, coldness, estrangement The icicles of the sun do not bring Anything I need except want

Munchausen Poetry
To write poetry, I think I need a combination of pain And suffering, with a Shot of gasoline, a side order Of tragedy, coupled with an Estrogen injection, hormonal Imbalance and, for desert, The love of my life Sweethearts true with all the bad Ive been and done Embraced with love like Stromboli dough To be truly divine, I need More of it all

Journal 3-19