FAT TONY

Written by Ed Cunningham

ed@edcunningham.net

INT. AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT - EARLY EVENING FAT TONY, an enormous, giant of a man, sits down to eat. knows everybody in the place... TONY Hey, Marco, how you doin, buddy, good to see ya... (A slight pause, then to some other people) How ya doin, yeah. I thought that was you. Good to see ya. How you doin... (Beat. To another table) Salute. Hi. Hi. How you doin. Enjoy yourselves. Good to see you. FREDDIE ST. AMANT, a younger, hipper version of La Cosa Nostra, walks up. FREDDIE Fat Tony!! My man!! How you doin? Good to see ya. (to people at another table) There he is! How are you? Nice to see ya. (He sits, then to Tony) Whats wrong? TONY What are you doin? What? FREDDIE He

TONY What are you doin comin in here screamin Fat Tony! What are you fuckin dim? FREDDIE I dont understand. TONY I know people here. matter with you? Im sorry. FREDDIE Whats the

TONY I dont want you callin me Fat Tony no more. You understand? The way you say it even. Its disrespectful.

2. FREDDIE I dont mean disrespect. Thats what everybody calls you. TONY Everybody except for you. Capiche?

FREDDIE Okay. Im sorry. (a long silence) What name do you want me to use? Tony. TONY My name is fucking Tony.

FREDDIE Okay. You got it. Tony. Glad we got that settled. What are we eatin? TONY First business. What ya got for me? FREDDIE (looking around, chews some ice, then leaning in...) Henry Pratti. TONY With the wristy golf swing? Yeah. Okay. FREDDIE (beat) Hes the one. TONY (beat) Okay.

A waiter comes to the table. WAITER Good evening gentleman. Could I start you off with a cocktail? TONY No, not you. Tell that other waiter to come over here. The waiter leaves and gets a different waiter. Lazy fuck. TONY (CONTD)

The DIFFERENT WAITER comes over. DIFFERENT WAITER Gentleman, good evening. Can I--

3. TONY No, were gonna go ahead. Bring me a Stoli Gimlet, rocks. (the waiter has it.) Oh. Good. Okay, I want a Pittsburgh steak-- you know, with the onions?-- that iceburg wedge with blue cheese salad thing-- and maybe some green beans with almonds and shit. What do you want? FREDDIE You guys do a Turkey Burger? DIFFERENT WAITER Ummm. We do a ground beef burger, sir. Its excellent. Very lean. FREDDIE Its lean? Okay. Gimme the burger. Medium. Extra pickles. And bring me a house salad. No dressing. Im good with water. The Different Waiter leaves. TONY Are you fucking bulimic too? Are you gonna puke your little dinner there into the toilet afters? FREDDIE I eat healthy. TONY Youre a piece a work Freddie. (beat) Youre absolutely sure Henry Prattis the one. Get this. FREDDIE My cousin works for him.

TONY (beat) Then he can make us a key... (Freddie nods.) Okay. Take care of it. (a beat. Tony smiles.) Freddie St. Amant. Salute. FREDDIE To you, boss. They toast and drink.