Dating Application

First name: Occupation(s):

Professional Technical Unemployed Student Jon Hamm Pilot Rocket scientist Model Porn star Internet Pornologist Crack pusher Gigolo Currently in prison Chicken flicker Retired All of the above None of the above

Height:
Horse jockey Jon Hamm Basketball star

Weight/Body Type:
Pee-wee Herman Jon Hamm Drew Carey Sumo Wrestler

Eye color:
Green Blue Brown Hazel Bloodshot Reptilian

Hair color:
Black Brown Blonde Red Gray Neon Colored Bleached white Multicolored Bald Remaining hair gray with toupee in original hair color Only have hair on my ears, nose, and back

Religious beliefs:
Protestant Catholic Jewish Hare Krishna Jehovah's Witness Mormon Branch Davidian Heaven's Gate Born again Never born I am God Other

Education:
Kindergarten High school Some college Many years of college Many years of prison Many years in the asylum Bachelor's degree Master's degree Doctorate Flunked out of Romper Room None of the above

Smoking habits:
Don't smoke Smoker Quitting Occasional smoker Pipe or cigar smoker Chain smoker Human chimney Crack only

Drinking habits:
Never touch the stuff Drink lightly at social gatherings Drink heavily at social gatherings Drink alone frequently Serious boozer Woke up this morning and I got myself a beer

Drugs of choice:
Caffeine Tobacco Alcohol Aphrodisiacs Marijuana Recreational Drugs Industrial Strength Drugs Viagra Lithium Flintstone's Chewable Valium Prozac Other All of the above and more None of the above

Fitness:
I could kick Stallone's ass with all my limbs chopped off I have several Olympic gold medals and I eat Wheaties daily I rode my bicycle to the nearest donut shop once Does that include typing? I get all the exercise I need drinking beer and watching sports on TV Exercise only makes me feel too energetic

Psychological condition:
All my emotional baggage fits securely in the overhead bin Lunatic Basketcase Fruitcake Serial killer Neurotic Completely insane Fully recovered Whatever the voices in my head told me this morning Perfectly normal since birth

Personality type:
Jon Hamm Introvert Extrovert Intellectual Witty Romantic Intense Dominant Submissive Geek Jock Yuppie Vampire Hippie Redneck Party animal Heartless bastard Other

I most resemble:
A knight on a white horse A knight A horse A horse's ass Jon Hamm I don't understand the question

How would you describe your sense of humor?

Is this application supposed to be funny? Are you talking to me, bitch??? One sarcastic remark and I'll bite your friggin' head off! Pythonesque I find The Three Stooges hilarious Beavis and Butthead are my role models I laugh whenever I look in a mirror I have a terrific sense of humor no, really....