First

Love

Introduction There are many beautiful love stories that were written way back from the past and up to now. They may be about tragic love, happy-ending love, and comedy love but they all teach us one important lesson and that is holding on to something that we deeply want. Making impossible things happen with the help of something magical, Love. Love is a strange feeling that takes you by surprise. It is like an asymptomatic disease that does not have any distinct symptoms until its worse. It doesnt vividly present itself until you are completely under its spell. How cruel isnt it? It takes you by surprise and leaves you no other choice but to live with it. To face it head on without worries and doubts, what can you do? Thats how it is after all. This story that awaits you may be a typical love story like the others. Having those cheesy moments and everything. But nonetheless, its a story about how love can change people. How it manipulates and intoxicates your whole being. Making it difficult for you to escape its chains that attach you to it. First Love Music has always been a part of my life. It is a medium wherein I can freely express myself without anyone criticizing me. It is a medium wherein I can let my listeners feel what Im feeling. It can bring those memories back and let you refresh them all at once. Thats must be the reason why whenever I play that song I cant help but remember him. Did he ever remember that very day when we first met? Maybe he never did, but up until now I still do. There are many things in life that we least expect to happen to us, and unexpectedly I fell in love with Nick. Yes, I fell in love with him, and it s the most wonderful time of my life. He made me feel something magical, something that Ive never felt before. But come to think of it, how did I ever fell in love with him? It wasnt love at first sight, and most of definitely it wasnt because we were friends. It was a spontaneous thing that really caught me offguard. Knowing that hes gay, I never cared. I dont care whether he acts girlier than me or that hes prettier than me or something like that. All I cared about was him, his smile, and his eyes. Those deep-set eyes that does not fail do enthrall me everytime. I know he would never reciprocate my feelings, and I know that I wouldnt have the same attention he gives to his girl friends. But seeing him from afar satisfies me, that in itself makes me closer to him. I took precautions in order for me not to be getcaught by his cun. I tried hating him, it didnt work because we could never hate the one we truly like even if how much we try to. We just end up fooling ourselves and liking that person even more. I tried to control myself, I tried to just not attract too much attention. My friends knew that I liked him, and they were so kind not to tell everybody. I was satisfied just being able to see him, but sometimes I wished that he would just disappear because everytime I see him he snatches my heart away. The school year was coming to an end, I was satisfied with just observing him from afar, but sometimes through those observations he seems to glance at me catching me looking at him. He doesnt react but I kinda find it awkward. They say that, if you really love someone you must tell that person how you really feel. Id be transferring schools next year, and maybe we wouldnt see each other again. Maybe I would never see how his hair dances with the wind, how he stares into space with those deep-set eyes, and most especially his warm smile

that I always wonder about. I want to transfer, to achieve my dreams, but the hardest part of this decision was leaving them behind. Leaving my friends, and most especially him. Transferring to my new school was not that easy. I am bad at human relationships really. I met a lot of people there, really really nice people. But still I miss those Ive left behind. It would always make me tear up just remembering the smiles and laughs I shared with my friends there. Knock. . Knock I was startled. I smiled at myself, here I am again, reminiscing the past. Come on in. A beautiful girl came inside, her hair was dark brown and she was slender and very vibrant. Hey Mom, Muaaah! Hows it going here? Youre at it again, sitting near the piano. Ah, so it was just my Triana, who else? Was I expecting him again? Trianas my only child. Shes 43 years old now. How can time be so fast? Triana, my dear. I reached out to her. Would you mind playing that song for me again please? What song? My favorite song. Then she began to play. As she was playing the song, many memories came back to me. I like memories, because in it you never become old. I met this guy Blaine, he was so sweet and he always make me laugh. He was a pharmacy student, just like Nick. I like him of course, but whenever I see him Nick pops into my mind. Theyre somewhat alike, the same fashion sense and somewhat the same body structure. It hurts looking at him sometimes. But as time goes by, I was completely liberated from Nick. Whenever I look at Blaine, his face doesnt pop up anymore. I was completely free from him, but I was still a prisoner of love. Blaine and I were close friends, even after he graduated Pharmacy he would always drop by the school and hang out with me. I was at this time a Law student; Blaine was 3 years older than me. Ive always thought that I was over Nick, but perhaps even now he is still here in my heart. No matter how I try to deny it, no matter how hard I try to forget him that doesnt change the fact that I love him. Blaine confessed his love to me. I like Blaine, but I love Nick, I love him so much that when Blaine confessed to me tears starting to form in my eyes because there it is again for the first time in almost 4 years or more, his face again popped in my head. Blaine asked if I was okay. He said that its okay if I reject him. We were at some restaurant back then, and as he was talking about rejection I thought I

saw Nick at the corner of my eye. Perhaps, hes still the one I love. But I dont know what came into me because when Blaine told me that he was willing to wait for me even if how long, I interrupted him and told him I wouldnt mind dating him, he was a good guy after all. That painted a smile on his face and we started dating. I didnt know why did I do that but I had no choice but to completely move on, maybe my brain decided right before my heart was able to decide. Triana stopped playing. I opened my eyes and asked her what was wrong. Mom, I never noticed this picture. When was this? That rainy night with your father dear. I already told you about that picture. Now then.. I felt a piercing pain in my chest, and the expression in my face changed. She continued playing the piano, still the same song. Why does it hurt still? Once, I planned to surprise him and went to the hospital where he works but by going there I saw someone else. I saw Nick. I thought he was Blaine so I tapped him. Blaine. He looked back at me, I was stunned to see him there. He gently smiled and told me that Blaine was still inside. He and I chatted for awhile, and I discovered that he knew me. That made me happy. Then it began to drizzle, I just stood there stunned looking at him. Its good to see you again Liz. He said with his effeminate voice. Then Blaine saw the two of us, he wasnt that surprised to see me. Liz, why are you here? So youve already met Nick. Sorry Blaine, I was supposed to surprise you. Thats okay, Im glad youre here. Lets go. See you later Nick! He waved at Nick, Nick waved back and smiled at us. I turned around. Since I only brought one umbrella, Blaine was a bit closer to me than usual. At that moment I cant help but wonder if he ever saw the two of us off until he cant see us. Was he still standing there looking at us? But when I turned around to see for myself he wasnt there anymore. I guess I was just hoping for nothing. I guess, theres no use in hoping, I have Blaine after all. Blaine didnt know about Nick. So he would always invite Nick to have dinner with us, he was quite fond of the guy. And ever since Ive felt awkward. One night we were sitting on a bench the two of us alone, Blaine went on to buy something. As I was looking at the stars he for the second time initiated the conversation. Liz, Nick, Ive realized we never got to talk when we were still schoolmates.

He just smiled and continued looking at me with those deep-set eyes. And looked up at the stars. You gave up on me too easily. That surprised me, Gave up on you too easily? What does that mean? Then Blaine came. And we didnt have the chance to talk about that again. After awhile, Blaine and I broke up, there wasnt really any reason for that, he just felt so distant and I cant go on pretending anymore. And I found out that he was going out with another girl. He doesnt really change, hes been a playboy for most of his college years, and here I am thinking he already changed. But, I think he intended to do this. And I was alone again, but not entirely I still have my friends and once in a while we hang out with each other. They were the ones who told me about the Alumni Homecoming at our freshmen dorm. We went there of course, and I saw Nick there too. We had fun, we partied and stuff but that moment in my life was something that I could never forget. Amongst all of those people, he confessed to me. First he called out to me loudly and all of the peoples heads turned to our direction. They all witnessed it. He was trembling, trying to gain composure once in a while. I know this might really sound kinda impossible for you but, this is the truth. I was speechless at this, I was petrified. And then tears fell down from my cheeks. That was what Ive been wanting to hear from him all these years. He then walked towards me, wiped my tears and hugged me tightly. I could feel he meant those words. He loved me, he really really loved me! I didnt directly told him about my feelings, but at that moment we began to be closer to one another. He felt closer for the first time. We was trying to win my heart once again. And finally we started dating. It felt really nice, going out with someone you really really love. Our relationship went smoothly, both of us were happy to be finally be together. He told me that he always knew I liked him and he was curious so he wanted to know about me and then a miracle happened. He fell for me. All those years we dated, only twice did I hear him say that he loves me. Of course I can see it in his actions. Quarrels are always normal in relationships, and sometimes we quarrel. Once we quarreled about Blaine. Even though we broke up we were still friends, but not as close as in the past. I dont like how Blaine stares at you Liz, would you please stop you know coming on to where I work. What? Nick, Blaine is only and would remain a friend to me. And I always want to see you so thats why I come there. Okay, then Ill just come fetch you. But.. Do you still like that guy?! Just why are you so jealous? You dont have any reason to be jealous.

Whats wrong with a man in love being jealous? And then he left all flushed. That night I fell asleep on the sofa, the next morning he visited me in the apartment where I was staying. I was asleep so it might have been difficult for him to get in. Oh, but I do remember he has a key so that must be why he was able to come in. He mustve seen me all curled up on the sofa. I didnt know what he did after that, but when I woke up, I was sleeping on his lap. He was caressing my hair and mumbling things. I wasnt able to understand the other ones. But what I did understand is that he was describing that magical feeling he felt for me. That this was the first time he ever felt this way to anyone. It was the same for me too, he was the first person to make me felt this way. He whispered to me the three magical words and kissed me. He kissed me on the lips, it was a light, smooth and gentle kiss. Our very first. However, he has no idea I know about him stealing my kiss. My eyes were closed shut, I dont want to ruin the moment. He carried me upstairs, and slept beside me and cuddled me. I opened my eyes, and realized that I dont want to spend the rest of my life with any person but Nick. I loved him dearly. We then got married on the fourteenth day of February. We were both really happy. We planned everything the house, the lot and others. But even though both of us were happy, we cant hide the fact that many people doesnt approve of us. They might just be jealous, why Nick fell in love with a girl and most of all a normal girl like me. Whenever we went out, those closed minded people would often stare at us with contempt. We didnt care of course. It went on smoothly, our fairytale. Its really true, no matter how I look at it in our lives, love gives as a fairytale. A magical feeling that is so dear that is really hard for us to get over once lost. But even fairytales are imperfect. No matter how happy we were, we were still fated not to have a baby. I was pregnant at that time, and I took a leave from work. I stayed at home the whole time. We were so happy that we would finally be able to have a baby. As a father, he was really excited. He came up with many good names. The light and warmth that the both of us had slowly vanished when our baby died. I was really devastated and acted like a somekind of living dead. I would just stare out into space as the tears kept falling from my eyes. When our baby died, a part of me also died. Maybe Nick was sorry for me. For he tried taking me out into the sun. He would want us everyday to exercise and once in a while go out to picnics. He would prepare the sandwiches himself. I noticed all his efforts so slowly color came back to my face. He would always tell me how in love he is with me, just to cheer me up. And he would always sit with me on the piano and calling me and then stealing a kiss from me. He said that he would never get tired of me. He would always reach out for my hand and hold it tight and say: No matter what may happen, my feelings about you would never change. Because I believe that we were fated. We were meant for each other. He would ask me for a dance once on a while. We would dance all night in our little living room and then he would ask me to play something for him. You know, he would say. Sometimes I think, Im not worthy to have you. Why would you even think that Nick? I would respond

Because, I never was a person of much importance until you made me realize my worth. Which means, He would stop and the pinch my nose tenderly. I am nothing without you. Just when did you became so poetic? I would rant. He would just keep quiet and then stare at me with those deep set eyes. And then I would slap him and ask: What. And he would answer that he just enjoys staring at his lovely wife. Nick. . . Mom, Dads here. Hello! Honey, hows your day? Im so sorry Im late, its past 5:30 pm now. So hes here, I cant look at him like this. But I have no choice do I? I went to the living room and greeted my husband. Whats wrong sweetie? He asked me. Nothing. Hows work? Its fine. How about you, how are you? Im fine Blaine, you need not to worry. Okay then. Ill just get dressed and well eat. All these years still seeing him hurts. He would only just remind me of Nick. And how our love ended. Blaine, told me everything. He purposely let me go, because he always knew Im in love with Nick. He said that he can see it in my eyes, because whenever I stare at Nick, my eyes sparkle and shine. Knowing this, he still chose to be by my side. Nick died. At that time I was supposed to be the one who would die. But he risked his life for me. We were involved in a car accident. A reckless driver, foolishly overtaked a car before us and came crashing into us. Nick enveloped me with his arms and told me to close my eyes. And whispered the three magical words into my ear. He added remember that always. By the time I opened my eyes, I was lying in a hospital bed. Beside me is his half dead body. He was in state of coma. But to lessen his suffering we decided to just let him go. Nick died because he wanted me to live. Nick died because he protected me. He died because he loved me. Nick, Nick, Nick, come back to me. I didnt have any descent sleep for 5 months after his death, I couldnt eat anything and wouldnt speak either. Ever night I would cry. I would ask the shadows in my room why Nick? Why the one I love? Would that mean that we were never from the start meant for each other? I was now 73 years old. And its been 30 years after his death. But I would still wait for him in this little living room. I would always wait for him to come right through that door and take me

away. To a place only the two of us would know, a place where we can resume our ruin love. But I guess, thats just too selfish of me. I have my new family now. And I love them, I love Blaine and Trianna. Mom, Dad, dinner is served. I heard Trianna call. The three of us sat on the dinner table, talked about politics, the weather , the environment and about health. Mom, just how did you end up with Daddy? Haha, why are you so fond with that story my dear? I can see Blaines expression change after hearing what I said. Maybe he still thinks that I dont love him as much as I loved Nick. Well, its true, but.. I find it quite interesting Mom. I told her our story. How Blaine was able to end up with me. I told her that despite Blaines fondness of girls the only girl he loved was me. That he was willing to sacrifice everything for me. I paused, as I remember him again. But still, I love Nick so much. We went to bed after watching TV. Blaine was so tired that when he closed his eyes, he was instantly asleep. I tried to sleep but I cant so I just went downstairs for a cup of milk. But upon seeing the piano, I wanted to play it once again. I played it with all my heart, my fingers jump from octave to octave. Its really amazing how music let us feel those feelings that we dont feel everyday. Its amazing how it can get inside of us that easily. I heard footsteps coming down. I stopped playing and was about to stand when I heard a voice. Its beautiful Liz. When I looked up it was Blaine. He sat beside me. I asked him why he was still awake. He said that he cant sleep if Im not there beside him. I smiled at this. You know Liz, its really amazing. Its been almost 2 and a half decades that were together. And usually I would just get tired of a girl for you know 2 months and then leave her. What do you mean Blaine? I smiled at him Did I ever tell you how much I loved you? I love you so much Liz. Thank you for loving me Blaine. And I want you to know that I love you too. Do you believe me? Of course I do. There is so much that life that offers us. God may take something away from us but he knows whats best for us. All we have to do is just accept what life offers us. Even if Nick left, Im happy with my life. And that I dont regret

anything that has ever happened in my life. I think Nick wherever he may be is happy for me right now. He is after all the first love of my life. END