STRESS MANAGEMENT

A presentation by Prof. J.M.OVASDI

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THE LAYMANS APPROACH

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S+T+R+E+S+S Causes and Remedies. S = Sensory Pleasure Unsatisfied, cause of stress. Remedy : Enjoy sensory pleasures without addiction. Make it as means and not the end.
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T=Tiredness
Causes: Too much Physical labour, and or mental stress. Remedies : Physical : I)temporary ?: rest, get back into shape. II) long range ?: Change the work schedule. Strengthen mental stress levels through meditation.
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R=Restlessness
Causes : Regular anxiety over the bottom lines and dead lines. Remedies : Restlessness is the result of negative attitude. Busy also means be easy. Get into the habit of Balanced Approach. Convert negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
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E=Emotional imbalance
Causes : actions are dominated by intuitive, reactionary responses. Anger is the last stage of emotional imbalance. Jealousy, greediness. Remedy : Be a stithpragya, person of steady wisdom and high EQ emotional quotient
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S=Style of Living
Causes : living beyond means, and fast pace of life. Distance from nature. Remedies : Work and rest patterns active entertainment closeness to nature Break the routine.
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S=Sensitivity
Causes :I) intolerance of the shortcomings of others. II) I -centred attitude. Insensitivity to the feelings of others. Couldnt care less outlook. Remedies : do not tolerate tyranny but tolerate the differences in capabilities. Judge not only on the basis of actions but also on intentions.
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Stress Management
Stress is caused by physical, mental, and spiritual abuse of the self and as such the remedy also lies in reducing the levels of stress. Change is gradual, sustainable, and not instantaneous quick fix.
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Stress Management
The easiest to handle is physical stress. We revolt against physical stress because our body refuses to respond beyond certain limits. Hardly any coaching is required to combat physical stress.
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Stress Management Contd. However we are not able to assess our mental and spiritual levels of tolerance. Difficulties in stress management arise in these areas mainly.
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Contrasting attitudes in life

Some of us are continuously worrying Ever anxious about security in life Some others repose their faith in Providence (God), and so rest assured Some of us take charge of the circumstances Markat-kishore-nyaya: law of baby monkey Marjaak-kishore-nyaya:law of the kitten
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The Baby Laws

In the face of danger the mother monkey runs away and it is the responsibility of the baby monkey to jump on the back of the mother taking initiative In a similar situation the mother cat picks the kitten by the scruff of its neck and carries it to safety - the responsibility is that of the mother.
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Ages of Strife and Faith

Monkey Baby: In the age of strife, law of the baby monkey prevails : When there is deep sense of insecurity, search for opportunities Kitten: In the age of faith, law of kitten prevails : God takes care of our problems and insecurity. Pray to God
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Anxiety leads to paralysis

When the fear of what could happen is exaggerated beyond the possibility of the situation When we believe we could not cope with the situation When we are confused about what is happening When there is the possibility of violating an unquestioned belief or rules We suffer from internal conflict and even know why.
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Fear of Success
What would happen to us if we become successful? Shall we become like those ruthless business people, or politicians who exploit and abuse people? We would have to work round the clock at the cost of family life How will my husband feel if I earn more than him?
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Expand your Comfort Zone

Convert Fear, a negative attribute, into Hope, a positive attribute, by deciding to accept the challenge Convert the threat into an opportunity. Relax. Remember the occasions when you were afraid of learning cycling, driving, swimming, meeting strangers, living in a hostel, travelling alone
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Expanding the Comfort Zone You have been expanding your comfort zone every time you attempted to do these activities. After each activity you felt more confident, and less afraid. You expanded your comfort zone.

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THE CLINICAL ANALYSIS OF STRESS

Prof. J M OVASDI

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Working of the Brain

Verbal Processing takes place in a very small region near the front of the brain Emotional Response happens elsewhere. It involves a cascade of events leading to the release of chemicals that travel through the body, including cortisol, which causes much of the damage that long term stress can cause.
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Difference in operating speeds

Verbal processing unfolds in milliseconds, while the stress system responds in seconds or minutes, and they can be out of sync. There is still cortisol floating in your blood stream 30 seconds after the bad, sad or irritating news disappears from your working memory. The crummy feeling stays alive.
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Chemical reactions in the brain

Our system is wired to treat any tensioninducing event as a crisis. At these times, our bodies release the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol, prompting our hearts to accelerate, our breath to quicken and our minds to race. Accompanying sugar release revs up muscles, and clotting factors surge in the blood.
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Harmful Stress
Crisis situation induced chemical reaction in our system is harmless if the scare is brieflike a near mishap on the highway. But anger and resentment are like accidents that dont end, turning hormones meant to save us into toxins. Cortisol wears down the brain, leading to cell atrophy and memory loss. It also raises blood pressure and blood sugar, hardening arteries and leading to heart disease.
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MANAGING STRESS THE GITA WAY

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The power of forgetting and forgiving

Forgetting and forgiving are the release valves of our system. They are the best way to heal a heart by de-stressing. There is no one-size-fits-all solutions to extreme stress situations. However for defusing your anger, forgiveness can be powerful. Replace hostile feelings with positive ones that make your body feel calm and relaxed. Visit www.forgiving.org
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Lessons from the Gita

Five primary emotions are the root cause of misery in the lives of individuals, of groups, and of communities. Anger Sadness Fear Disgust Shame J M OVASDI

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The concept of Stithapragya

19 verses of Gita (chapter II 54-72) exclusively deal with the concept of Stithapragya. Man alone of all living creatures, has the capacity to have an objective, detached view of the feelings or emotions, his own, and those of others. Animals are totally dependent on and driven by their feelings or emotions.
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Attributes of Stithapragya
Stithapragya(a person of steady wisdom/ high emotional intelligence) enjoys and experiences the joys and sorrows without attachment. I, my, mine is attachment which anticipates and desires a reward, gratification on account of attachment. Stithapragya is one who exercises control and sets limits to the sensuous craving.
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Uncontrolled gratification of sensory demands leads to.

Attachment Desire Non-fulfillment Anger Delusion Loss of memory Destruction of the sense of discrimination Total loss
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Stithapragya
Is like a tortoise who has six projections under the shell : four legs, a head, and a tail. Shell is his subtle intellect, intelligent controller of his emotions. The six projections of the tortoise represent the five sense organs and the mind of the human being. On sensing a threat or temptation he withdraws all the six organs under the protection of the shell, the intellect.
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Stithapragya
Enjoys the objects, emotions, and thoughts of the world without being unduly disturbed by the fluctuations and challenges of the world. He is having a continuous physical contact with the world but his mind rests and revels in the bliss of the self. Once established in this Brahamic state all agitations of his mind are gone and he enjoys everlasting peace, and happiness.
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COMBO APPROACH-RELIGIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL & SCIENTIFIC

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DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS
Destructive Emotions and how we can

overcome them Daniel Goleman (the author of Emotional Intelligence)- a dialogue with Dalai Lama, 2003 According to Dalai Lama stress is the result of destructive emotions --Three poisons: Anger Craving Delusion
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Kinds of anger:
Anger directed inward = not expressed overtly the person shows the pattern of right-sided activation in the frontal lobe that is also associated with other kinds of negative emotions. The person also shows activation of the amygdala. Anger directed outward = which leads to rage Anger that is associated with sadness
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Constructive anger
Anger transformed into a constructive impulse to remove an obstacle.observed in adults trying to solve a difficult mathematical probleman attempt to remove an obstacle. In a child who is restrained from playing with his favorite toy also shows a similar responseactivation of the left frontal in an expression of anger an attempt to remove the goal blockage. the constructive aspect of anger. One of the most important human qualities is our ability to regulate emotion.
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Scientific explanation
The frontal lobes of the brain are involved in much emotional dysregulation--destructive emotions. Animals also have system of emotional regulation, but very much less. It is not as sophisticated as in human beings. The frontal lobe, the amygdala, and the hippocampus, change in response to experience. Those who are brought up in a nurturing environment have a greater degree of ability to regulate their emotions.
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Scientific explanation
The brain areas that are involved in initially activating an emotion are different from the brain areas that are involved in regulating an emotion. The amygdala plays a key role in the circuitry that activates emotion, while prefrontal cortex does much of regulation.
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Pathological Rage
Someone prone to pathological rage is unable to anticipate negative consequences of the extreme expression of anger. Atrophy or severe shrinkage of the amygdala has been noticed in people with a history of severe aggression. Amygdala is needed for anticipating negative consequences.
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Role of Left frontal cortex

Left frontal cortex of the brain is associated with positive emotions like zeal, vigor, enthusiasm, and buoyancy. The medial portion of the frontal lobe in the brain, closest to amygdala, is the area most heavily interconnected with it. The amygdala is more active in people who are depressed. It is more active in people who have posttraumatic stress disorder.
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Role of Left frontal cortex

It is more active in people who are anxious. The medial area of the frontal cortex plays an inhibitory role. When this area becomes more active, the amygdala shows a decrease in activation. People differ in their temperaments in the extent to which these areas of the prefrontal cortex are active and the amygdala is correspondingly under active.
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PLASTICITY OF HUMAN BRAIN

NEURO SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS

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Right-to-left tilt in the prefrontal areas According to neuro-science experiments yes it is possible. Two thousand years ago the writers of the Abhidharma, the classic Buddhist psychology, had proposed that progress in spiritual practice could be tracked by a ratio: how often and how strongly wholesome versus destructive emotions grip us. Modern brain science seems to be bearing this out.
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Plasticity Experiments
Experiments conducted by Richard Davidson in the E M Keck laboratory for Functional Brain Imaging and behavior, on the campus of the university of Wisconsin, USA, on May 21-22, 2001 showed that each of us has the capacity to shift our moods, at least a bit, and thus change the ratio. The further to the left that ratio tilts, the better our frame of mind tends to be. Experiment conducted in this lab on Oser, a Buddhist monk showed that by regulating his moods he was able to demonstrate a perceptible tilt.
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Change Brain Function Eight Weeks

Massachutes General Hospital has recently conducted experiments to change the brain circuits within eight weeks by meditation Memory Self-confidence Compassion Eliminating stress Experiments conducted on 16 persons meditation for 27minutes daily changed the density of grey matter in hippamatamus part of the brain
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Brain is plastic: Changeable

In The Art of Happiness, written by Dalai Lama in collaboration with psychiatrist Howard Cutler, Dalai Lama said that happiness is not a fixed characteristic, a biological set point that will never change. Instead, the brain is plastic, and our quota of happiness can be enhanced through mental training. Through training the mind people can become more calm especially those who suffer from many ups and downs.
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Craving
There is a chemical in the brain called dopamine, and virtually all forms of craving involve abnormalities of this chemical system. Dopamine plays an important role in reward and in the pleasurable feelings that occur in response to reward. Craving is also driven by habits that are learned. There exist two circuitries in the brain, which often go together- one associated with wanting and one with enjoyment- liking.
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Craving
We want things that we like. But in craving, the circuitry associated with wanting appears to be strengthened and the circuitry associated with liking appears to be weakened. Because our sense of liking or enjoyment declines and our wanting increases, we want more and more and we like it less and less. We just keep wanting but we need more to enjoy it as much. This is major problem that underlies craving.
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Delusion
Scientific explanation: It is the afflictive emotions obscuring our ability to see the world clearly. The Art of Happiness- Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler: The systematic training of the mind, the cultivation of happiness, the genuine inner transformation by deliberately selecting and focusing on positive mental states and challenging negative mental states, is possible because of the very structure and function of the brain. But the wiring in our brain is not static, not irrevocably fixed. Our brains are also adaptable.
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Inner Science
The Monk and the Philosopher Matthieu Ricard and (his father, the French philosopher) Jean-Francois Revel In the book, Matthieu argues that for 2000 years or more Buddhist practitioners have been utilizing what amounts to an inner science, a systematic method for transforming the inner world to produce a better human beingmore selfless and compassionate, with greater calm and equanimity. One result of that programme, he observes, is relief from the tyranny of destructive emotions.
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Begin with Ourselves

If we aspire to contribute something to our society, to achieve a new vision of things, we need to begin with ourselves. We need to transform ourselves, and that can come only through training, not through fleeting ideas. Thats the contribution that can come from Buddhist practice. To what extent might destructive emotions be strengthened by reasoning, in the same way that positive or constructive emotions might be strengthened?
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Effect of Reasoning
There is a class of destructive emotions that arise spontaneously. The emotion arises with a long refractory period; once the emotion is triggered, it takes over. These emotions are associated with unconstrained, or less constrained, activation of structures like the amygdala that are interconnected with the frontal cortex.
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Effect of Reasoning
Such impulsive emotions are weakened by reasoning, rather than strengthened by it. Very active reasoning will activate the frontal cortex and inhibit the amygdala. And so, according to neuroscience understanding, the very act of reasoning should actually reduce this particular type of destructive emotion.
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Reasoning becomes Rationalisation

This current scientific explanation is not satisfactory. In the grip of unwholesome reasoning, one can plan to commit some unethical or violent action, thinking it through and working out all details in ones mind in a premeditated way. Like a criminal plan. So any activity in the frontal lobes is not necessarily going to be wholesome.
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Dalai Lamas explanation: From the Buddhist point of view there are different kinds of reasoning. Some are valid and others are not. For example, the reasoning involved with enhancing compassion is grounded in valid experience or some valid observations. But there are other forms of reasoning that can give rise to a greater degree of anger.
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Dalai Lamas explanation:

You may think that someone has done something to you unfairly, which may not be the case, and then you start pondering on it. Its a kind of reasoning, but it doesnt really have a sound basis, and the extent to which it supports the emotion is also not very great. It may be too simplistic to associate valid reasoning with the frontal lobe activity and other kind of reasoning elsewhere.
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Educating the heart: Buddhist model First make an effort to bring mind to a positive state such as compassion, and then repeating it so that it becomes familiar, a habit, at which point it becomes stable to get more control over destructive emotions. The process involved is developing reasoning and educating the heart.
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Positive Psychology

The American Psychology Association, with forty five thousand members, has launched an initiative called Positive Psychology to focus on human flourishing. We have spent too much time focusing on negative traits and we need to turn our attention to positive traits. Dalai Lama: The conversation itself is good karma, but it has to go beyond our accumulation of good karma to be implemented into society.
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East meets West -- mindfulness

In the beginning of the 20th century William James published a marvelous little book Talk to Teachers: Some people seem to be naturally scatterbrained, whereas other people tend to be more collected, more able to pay attention. He elaborated on the role of sustained attention in morality. He said that an education system that could help train students to develop their ability for sustained voluntary attention would be the education system par excellence. In Buddhism it is called mindfulness or introspection, as well as shamata training, meditative quiescence. You have to cultivate both.
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Mastering Emotional Skills:

Individual & Societal goals: Different cultural views of the self influence an individuals goals in life. One life goal of someone with an independent self is to separate, to distinguish self from others.

I-centred -- Such people do this primarily by

expressing their internal beliefs, saying how they feel, and emphasizing the importance of themselves, particularly in relation to other people. In the US the common phrases are express yourself, have it your way, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
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Societal goals
These goals are different from those of someone with an interdependent self, which are to connect with others and maintain relationships. We do this by moderating our internal beliefs and by minimizing the importance of ourselves in comparison to other people. Interdependent messages include the Japanese proverb The nail that stands out gets pounded down. Indian outlook could be Others before self, you first.
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Westerns value: self-enhancement Asians value: self-effacement

In the West people like to say very positive things about themselves. Asians value selfeffacement because they want to promote relationships with others. They are more critical of themselves. Americans place a very high value on self-esteem. Asians do not place as much high value on selfesteem. Does it mean that the Asians are psychologically less healthy on mainstream culture? No. Its just that their normal view is not to enhance themselves as much as AngloAmericans.
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Experimental results

Interesting research data from Jerome Kagan, a development psychologist at Harvard, who compared the psychological reactions of fourmonth-old infants from Beijing with European American infants of the same age. They showed these infants a number of sensory stimuli, moving objects, and then looked at their behavior. They found that the European American infants cried more, vocalized more, and fretted more- they looked more worried. Chinese American infants were better able to calm themselves after being agitated than were the European American infants. As adults, Chinese American couples showed less heart rate activity during conflict than the European Americans.
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SHAME
Asians experience more shame and guilt, as well as pride, when others are responsible, because their views of self are based more on others. Cultural views influence whats a desirable emotion, whether we put our attention on ourselves or on others. Culture seems to get into our bodies, influencing our physiology. An Asian is more likely to be ashamed of the actions of a relative or a member of the community; whereas a European American would not give a second thought to the desirable or undesirable actions of anybody except himself.
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PATHS (Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies)

Developed by Mark Greenberg, in 1981, initially for deaf children, to recognize, understand, and to manage emotions. It is system of social and emotional learning teaching children to be intelligent about emotion. With PATHS, Marks became a pioneer in a new specialty in psychology: the field of primary prevention, which seeks to protect children from later problems through teaching them skills for living. Mark was influenced by Eastern psychologies such as Buddhism as offering the West a missing expertise.
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Healthy Ego & Beyond

The methods of psychotherapy and psychology aim to help people develop a healthy egoemotional maturity, a sense of self-efficacy, and the like. But the goals of Western psychology basically stop there. Eastern psychology, while recognizing that you have to build a healthy ego before you can let go of it, also focuses on the next step: the development of the self past

the ego.
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Healthy Emotional Immune System

Dalai Lama: Even though a society does not emphasize this, the most important use of knowledge and education is to help understand the importance of engaging in more wholesome actions and bringing about discipline within our minds. The proper utilization of our intelligence and knowledge is to effect changes from within that develop a good heart.
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Catch them young

Relationships in infancy set the course for later social-emotional development. Making babies happy grows the circuitry that helps them have positive feelings like joy throughout their lives. Mark has observed that children who exhibit a persistently aggressive style of play at the age of five or six, at least 50 % are likely to be aggressive throughout their lives. As they persist, they will become worse and turn more toward cruelty and violence.
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 Frontal lobe damage in young children whether from accident or from disease--appears to have a very low recovery rate. Prefrontal lobes are the critical areas for the integration of reasoning and emotion. Even so, the prefrontal area itself is quite plastic, shaping its circuitry as the result of the experiences and learning we undergo, particularly during the surprisingly long period during which this area continues to become anatomically mature; The progressive mental and social milestones of a childs development reflect its continued growth.
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Role of Prefrontal Lobe

Role of Prefrontal Lobe

The prefrontal areas are the last part of the human brain to become fully mature, continuing to show anatomical growth into the mid-twentiesmaking lifes early years a key window of opportunity to young people master the most helpful lessons for life. PATHS can build childrens social and emotional skills as well as improve some of their thinking skills.

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You Cant Think until You are Calm

PATH curricula have five characteristics:

1. Calm down- Decrease the recovery period from emotional arousal anger, jealousy, excitement. 2. EQ --Awareness of emotional states in others. 3. Expression -- Outward discussion of feelings as a way of solving interpersonal difficulties. (Western concept-express yourself) 4. Anticipation -- Planning and thinking ahead so that one can avoid difficult situations. 5. Empathy -- How our behavior affects othersempathy and interpersonal concern (Eastern concept compassion).
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Doing Turtle

The story of a child turtle that had problems of adjustment in the school and felt isolated. The wise old turtles advice to him, You already have the solution to the problem inside yourself. Its you shell. When you feel upset or very angry and you cant control yourself, you can go inside your shell. The wise old turtle continued, When you are inside your shell you can calm down. When I go inside my shell I do three things. I tell myself to stop; I take one long breath or more if I need to: and then I tell myself what the problem is. The children are asked to play the roles of child and wise turtles and do practice by folding arms, taking deep breath and do reasoning. This way the child learns to become aware of his feelings before he acts out destructive behaviours. He learns to take responsibility for himself. The fact that he can control himself can lead to a feeling of satisfaction. It is a part of growing up and becoming mature. J M OVASDI [Compare with the Concept of Stithaprajna in Bhagwat 71

Unlearning & Relearning

At an early age- three to eight years learning these life skills is very easy. If the same skills have to be taught later, it requires a lot of unlearning & relearning. And relearning is always harder than first learning. The ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure or years of psychotherapy, drug counseling, or prison, for that matter.
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Traffic Lights Poster

Developed by Roger Weissberg and his colleagues at Yale University in early 1990s. Red light: Take a long, deep breath. Say the problem and how you feel. Yellow Light: What could I do? Would it work? Green light: Try your best idea. How did it work?
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Cultivating Positive Emotions

Dalai Lama: I believe that managing negative emotion is very important, but by itself it is not going to solve problems. There is need for developing and cultivating the positive emotions. Although these positive emotions may not be directly applicable as an antidote in the heat of the moment, they will help prepare the child, or whoever it is, to deal with the negative emotions much more skillfully.
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Encouraging Compassion
Why has Western science ignored compassion? Anne Harrington, a historian of science at Harvard University: Historically, the more deeply our sciences have probed reality, the les relevant concepts like compassion become. Behind altruism is strategizing for genetic fitness, which is how evolutionary theory explains away such selfishness. In contrast she has noted, when one employs Buddhist methods of exploring reality, one apparently arrives at a very different reality, one in which compassion is basic, serves as a dominant framework for the dramas of life, and in which beings are all connected and not in struggle.
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Guiding principle: disease or health

Dalai Lama: Science is a relatively young discipline, and its current mainstream understanding of human nature as basically aggressive, selfish, and heartless seems an arbitrary viewpoint at a particular stage in the evolving understanding of human nature. Perhaps that negative spin was due to psychology following the lead of medicine, which focuses on disease rather than health.
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Bodhisattva Way of Life: Lovingkindness

Teaching on the Four Immeasurablescompassion, equanimity, empathetic joy, and lovingkindness. Lovingkindness is diametrically opposed to hatred. If hatred is an attitude or an emotion that cant stand another persons well-being I dont like it that youre happy because youre my enemylovingkindness is just the opposite. Its wishing for the happiness and the source of happiness for the other. The more you cultivate lovingkindnes, the les you have to deal with anger and hatred. Its like having a strong immune system.
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Compassion
Compassion is diametrically opposed to cruelty. Cruelty is delight in someone elses suffering, and even yearning to inflict suffering (US soldiers, including women soldiers, inflicting suffering on Iraqi prisoners of war, dramatised by the media). Compassion is just the opposite May you be free of the suffering and the source of your suffering. Mudita, a unique Hindu concept, practised by the Buddhists refers to being joyous at the well-being or joy of another person. In English we may translate it as empathetic joy.
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Equanimity
Equanimity is diametrically opposed to attachment and aversion. The more you cultivate equanimity its like having an immune system that enables you to carry a peace zone with you wherever you go. Practical aspect: Step One: Exchanging places with others-looking at things from others point of view. Step Two: Generating a basic feeling of intense lovingkindness. A genuine smile stimulates the appropriate changes in the brain.
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 Dalai Lama: A classic procedure in Buddhism for cultivating compassion is to develop a way of viewing others as if each sentient being is your own mother. Why do it? Because viewing an individual as your mother brings forth a sense of fondness, cherishing, gentleness, affection, and gratitude. When you recognize why you should do it, then even if youre not absolutely sure that every single sentient being has actually been your mother, seeing the purpose and anticipating the benefit, you can make the attempt.

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 Similarly, if one has a very strong predilection for attachmentreally cravingone of the classic early antidote involves a very strong use of imagination. You imagine the world to be covered with bones and skeletons. Of course, its very disenchanting, a very unpleasing way to view reality. Why on earth would one do that? Id much rather imagine the whole world covered with flowers. But you see that doing this will help calm your mind, which is presently afflicted with craving. This could be a useful temporary device to counteract what is disturbing you. You keep on coming back to this question of what is really disturbing your well-being. If you recognise that it is your own mental afflictions that are the problem, then you can see for yourself why you might want to pursue this antidote and do so with perseverance.

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 Dalai Lama: Coming back to the issue of compassion, you can often get the impression that the cultivation of compassion and lovingkindness is something that we do for others, an offering we make to the world. But thats really a very superficial way to see it. I feel from my own experience that when I practice compassion there is an immediate direct benefit to myself, not for others. By practicing compassion, I get hundred percent benefit, while the benefit to others may be fifty percent.
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Self-interest
So the main motivation for the practice of compassion is self-interest.From my own small experience, I find that as soon as some kind of sense of caring or concern increases in my heart, this brings me more inner strength. The result: I feel less fear, more happiness. There are some problems here and there? Okay, no matter. If there is shocking news, sad news, I may be uncomfortable for a few seconds, but then I recover very swiftly and there is peace again.I think the practice of compassion is like a medication that restores serenity when one is agitated.
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Can Compassion Change the Brain?

Yes. Neuroplasticity is possible. Practice is the answer. From neurological point of view repeating the habit enough changes the circuitry in the brain so that the goal we seek to achievefor example, equanimity and compassionbecomes actual reality at the level of the brain. It begins with a surface intellectual understanding of the words and their meaningfor instance, compassion..
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 With prolonged reflection, that understanding becomes clear and certain the person has confident intellectual mastery of the concept and can successfully implement it in meditation practice. At first the evoking of compassion may take deliberate effort and feel stimulated. But as practice matures, the actual feeling of compassion comes naturally and spontaneously, arising easily. Finally, it takes no effort. These stages are called the understanding, or wisdom, derived from hearing, thinking, and meditation
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 A metaphor that is used in Buddhist textual traditions is oil soaking the cloth. You cant really separate the two. A story: There were two brothers, one never satisfied and one always seemed satisfied. On Christmas morning they got presents. The child who was never satisfied had a new computer and games and a little robot, but when his father asked if he was happy, he said, No. Now all the other children will be jealous of me, and then the batteries will die and Ill have to buy new batteries, and on and on. Now, the other little boy had gotten a load of horse manure for Christmas. When his father went to his room, he found him happily playing in it. His father said, Why are you so happy? He replied, There must be a horse in here somewhere!
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Counteracting Cruelty
Question: Some people become so immune to reasoning and insensitive to the feelings of others that it may call for a different treatment, other than compassion. When you are faced with someone who has already established cruelty as his way rather than compassion, and he is about to cruelly act toward you or toward another, what can we do? How can we respond to lead that person away from the cruelty?
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 Dalai Lamas answer: It depends on the context. In any specific situation there is a question whether you really have the ability to do anything or not. If you think there is a possibility, then the first option is to consider the peaceful means, theoretically speaking. You would use reason or try other gentle measures to persuade the person not to engage in the cruel act. Clearly I am putting on the Buddhist hat again. There are four modes of enlightened activity that are laid out sequentially for a bodhisattva. The first option is pacifying, where you try to calm the situation with words, with reason, with comfort, or what have you. If that doesnt work, the second option is a slightly stronger mode: causing expansion or increase by giving the person something. You give them a gift. You give them something that will calm the waters. It even be giving knowledge, or it could be giving something tangible to rectify the situation, to solve the problem
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 Where thats not possible, then you go to the third position, which is domination or power. You use your greater power to subdue the person, the country, or whatever it may be. There are some situations where even that wont work, and then the final option is ferocity or wratheven violence is a possibility. Among the forty-six secondary precepts of a bodhisattva, one of those is a vow to engage in a forceful response in a situation that calls for altruistically motivated force. So with wrathful compassion there can be violence. Theoretically speaking, violence can be permissible if its done out of compassion.

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 But in practice its very difficult and is done only when, with a harmful person, there is no other way to change their cruel attitude. Because once we commit violence, the situation is very unpredictable, and violence generates more violencemany unexpected things can happen. Its much safer just to wait and see. Then, under those circumstances, may be try some prayers, or curseif nothing can be done, then may be just shouting some words!
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Generosity and Tolerance compared

Generosity is much easier to cultivate than tolerance or forbearance. The reason is that all of us have chances to show generosity. People give gifts easily. However, tolerance and forbearance can only be cultivated when we meet with adversary, with an enemy, with cruelty, and so they are more rare.

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Mahatma Buddha and the Horse trainer

One day the Buddha happened to meet with a horse trainer, and the Buddha asked him, What are your methods to train a horse to run very fast? The trainer said, I divide the horses into three types. The first is very quick at learning. When I just show the riding crop, they run fast thats the very best kind. The second kind of horse I have to whip again and again, otherwise it wont run. But the third kind is very difficult. Even if I whip again and again, it will lie down and not stand up and run. The Buddha asked him, What do you do with those horses? The horse trainer said, I dont even bother with them. The Buddha said that training human beings was the same. Only some of the people could be trained; some were un-trainable. He would lead them as far as their previous karma would allow, but he could not help them beyond that.
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Self-esteem: The Buddhist perspective

Dalai Lama: From a Buddhist perspective, we do not take self-esteem as such to be a virtue or an absolute good. If one has an exaggerated sense of self-esteem, one faces falling into arrogance, which is a mental affliction. Then one is encouraged to engage in antidote that would deflate the mind a bit. On the other hand, if you so deflate it that you wind up with very low self-esteem, then you should do discursive meditations on the preciousness and value of human life and your Buddha nature, the luminous nature of your awareness. Meditating on such things raises your sense of self-esteem.
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A Chill Pill to Bust Stress

Scientists have identified a brain mechanism that turns fear into overwhelming anxiety or depression. This discovery could soon lead to the development of a pill that will keep stress at bay.
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A Chill Pill to Bust Stress

The research done by a team at the Leicester University was inspired by the observation that while many people experience traumatic events, only some descend into depression. During experiments on mice, the researchers identified a protein, called neuropsin, which is made in the amygdala, the brains fear centre.
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A Chill Pill to Bust Stress

In times of stress, it was found that the brain makes more neuropsin which triggers a series of chemical reactions that culminate in a fear gene being switched on, and the feeling of anxiety. Developing drugs that target the neuropsin biological path could provide new treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder and other anxiety conditions, the research said. Source The Times of India, Jaipur, 24.04.11
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'chemical pathway' in the brain for stress

Neuroscientists discover new 'chemical pathway' in the brain for stress Posted by pt91 at Apr 21, 2011 02:11 PM | Permalink Breakthrough study offers hope for targeted treatment of stress-related disorders Issued by University of Leicester Press Office on 20 April 2011
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A Chill Pill to Bust Stress

Jpeg images available from pt91@le.ac.uk A team of neuroscientists at the University of Leicester, UK, in collaboration with researchers from Poland and Japan, has announced a breakthrough in the understanding of the brain chemistry that triggers our response to highly stressful and traumatic events.

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A Chill Pill to Bust Stress

The discovery of a critical and previously unknown pathway in the brain that is linked to our response to stress is announced today ( 21 April, 2011) in the journal Nature. The advance offers new hope for targeted treatment, or even prevention, of stressrelated psychiatric disorders.
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Violent Stress Busting

The Rising Sun Bar in Nanjing China, is helping ease the stress of its regular customers in a unique way. The stressed customers are allowed to smash glasses, shout loudly and hit workers twenty young, well built are specially employed to smacked around by drinkers, though they are specially trained and wear protective gear. Readers Digest March 2010 India (p.121)
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Six Levels of Leaders

Mitch Maidique is a visiting professor at Harvard Business School. He is the Director of the Center for Leadership in the College of Business Administration at Florida International University and is in-charge of their Executive Leadership Development Program. According to him there are six levels of leadership:
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Level one and two

Level One: Sociopath antisocial personality who has abnormally low empathy and destroys value, himself and those who surround him. Level Two: Opportunist -- the leader who serves only himself or herself, often at the expense of others. The opportunist always asks, What is in it for me? They are interested creating wealth for themselves.
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Level three and four

Level Three: Chameleon leaders who bend with the wind and strive to please as many people as possible. Most of the politicians fall in this category. In the corporate world such leaders do not reach the top of the ladder. Level Four: Achiever Achievers often substitute the needs of the whole with their personal striving to succeed. They rarely fail to achieve their goals and fill the senior 103 executive ranks. J M OVASDI

Level five Leader

Level Five: Builder He strives not reach a goal but to build an institution. The builder is hardly concerned with short term goals quarterly profits or stock market valuations. They are visionaries and they infect others with their energy, enthusiasm, and integrity. These are the leaders whose exploits and biographies we read. This breed is rare.
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Level six Leader

Level Six: Transcendents -- Builders are few and far between, but the Transcendent leaders are more rare. Their canvas is not only their own institution but the benefit of the society at large. They are Global Citizens, in the words of Howards Gardners recent book Truth, Beauty, and Goodness Reframed.
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The Purpose Driven Model of Leadership

Level

Type

Serve whom

Purpose
Transcendents go beyond the institution they govern by ensuing that the institution grows while contributing to the entire community. Builders make decisions that serve and help to build the institution. They get the job done as commanded by the boss, the board, or the law without broader consideration. Chameleons adapt to their surroundings and serve whichever group they belong to. They are often used by others to increase the membership of their group. Opportunists exhibit no consideration of their friend, family, society, or institution. They serve themselves and think only about their own benefit. Sociopath is the catchword for destructive persons who serve neither themselves not their surroundings.
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Transcendents Society High on SQ Builders High on EQ Achievers Chameleons Institution Commanders Prevailing winds Themselves

V IV III

II

Opportunists

Sociopaths

No One

STRESS
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What is Stress
Stress is a dynamic condition in which an individual is confronted with an opportunity, demand, or resource related to what the individual desires and for which the outcome is perceived to be both uncertain and important. It is an opportunity when it offers potential gain winning a medal is desirable, important and possible but with hard work and working hard leads to stress. You dont regret the stress if you get the desired outcome. You are happy that you worked hard and dont mind the STRESS.
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Demands and Resources- Challenge Stress Stress is associated with demands and resources Demands are responsibilities, pressures, obligations, and uncertainties Resources are things within an individuals control with which demands can be met If demands are not met for lack of effort or for want of adequate resources or misuse of resources NEGATIVE STRESS is experienced.
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Eustress and Stress

Eustress is a term coined by endocrinologist Hans Selye which is defined as stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings. Eustress is a process of exploring potential gains. The word eustress consists of two parts. The prefix eu, derives from the Greek word meaning "well" or "good". When attached to the word stress, it literally means "good stress".
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Distress
Distress is the most commonly-referred to type of stress, having negative implications, whereas eustress is a positive form of stress, usually related to desirable events in a person's life. Both can be equally taxing on the body, and are cumulative in nature, depending on a person's way of adapting to a change that has caused it. The body itself cannot physically discern between distress or eustress.
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Examples of Positive Stress -- Eustress

Meeting or engaging in a challenge. Coming in first place in a race. Getting a promotion at your job. Watching a suspenseful or horror movie. Love, marriage, sexual intercourse, or childbirth Riding a roller-coaster The holidays Engaging in exercise, especially weight training.
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DISTRESS

In medicine, distress is an aversive state in which an animal is unable to adapt completely to stressors and their resulting stress and shows maladaptive behaviors. It can be evident in the presence of various phenomena, such as inappropriate social interaction (e.g., aggression, passivity, or withdrawal). Stress can be created by influences such as work, school, peers or co-workers, family and death. Other influences vary upon age. This means that distress is the opposite of eustress, a positive stress that motivates us. People under constant distress are more likely to become sick, mentally or physically. People often find ways of dealing with distress, in both negative and positive ways.
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Positive & Negative Ways to Manage Stress

Examples of positive ways are listening to music,
calming exercises, sports and similar healthy distractions. Negative ways are often drugs, alcohol and anger, which lead to addictions and, later, more stress.

Managing Stress
It may seem that theres nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills arent going to stop coming, There will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and Your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think.
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Ways to Manage Stress

In fact, the simple realization that youre in control of your life is the foundation of stress management. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.
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STRESS MANAGEMENT AT THE WORK PLACE

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Model of Stress
Potential Sources
Environmental factors like
Economic uncertainty Political uncertainty Technological change

Organizational Factors
Task demands Role demands Interpersonal demands

Personal Factors
Family problems Economic problems Personality
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Model of Stress Individual Differences

Perception Job experience Social support Belief in locus of control Self-efficacy Hostility
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Model of Stress

Consequences
Physiological symptoms
Headaches High BP Heart disease Insomnia
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Consequences
Psychological symptoms Anxiety Depression Decrease in job satisfaction Behavioral Symptoms Reduced work output Absenteeism Turnover
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Managing Stress
Examples of positive ways are Listening to music, Calming exercises, sports and similar healthy distractions. Negative ways are Often drugs, Alcohol and anger, which lead to addictions and, later, more stress.
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 These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run: Smoking Drinking too much Overeating or under-eating Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities Using pills or drugs to relax Sleeping too much Procrastinating Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)
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Unhealthy ways of coping with stress

Managing Stress

Individual Approaches
Time management Increasing physical exercise Relaxation training Expanding social support network
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Organizational Approaches
Improved personnel selection and job placement Training and retraining Use of realistic goal setting Redesigning of jobs Increased employee involvement Improved organizational communication Offering employee sabbaticals Establishment of corporate wellness programs
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STRESS MANAGEMENT WORK SHOP

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Identify the sources of stress in your life

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isnt as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress arent always obvious, and its all too easy to overlook your own stressinducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that youre constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe its your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
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Identify the Sources of Stress

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses: Do you explain away stress as temporary (I just have a million things going on right now) even though you cant remember the last time you took a breather? Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (Things are always crazy around here) or as a part of your personality (I have a lot of nervous energy, thats all). Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional? Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
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Learning healthier ways to manage stress

If your methods of coping with stress arent contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, its time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no one size fits all solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
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Change What?
You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, its helpful to think of the four As: Avoid Alter Adapt, or Accept
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 To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses: Do you explain away stress as temporary (I just have a million things going on right now) even though you cant remember the last time you took a breather? Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (Things are always crazy around here) or as a part of your personality (I have a lot of nervous energy, thats all). Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional? Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
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Start a stress journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down: What caused your stress (make a guess if youre unsure). How you felt, both physically and emotionally. How you acted in response. What you did to make yourself feel better.
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How you currently cope with stress

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.
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The Four As
Dealing with Stressful Situations:

The Four As Change the situation:

Avoid the stressor Alter the stressor

Change your reaction:

Adapt to the stressor Accept the stressor
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Strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and its not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate. Learn how to say no Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when youre close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. Avoid people who stress you out If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you cant turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
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Strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and its not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate. Learn how to say no Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when youre close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. Avoid people who stress you out If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you cant turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
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Strategy #1
Take control of your environment If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffics got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online. Avoid hot-button topics If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when its the topic of discussion. Pare down your to-do list Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If youve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the shoulds and the musts. Drop tasks that arent truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely
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Strategy #2: Alter the Situation

If you cant avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesnt present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life. Express your feelings instead of bottling them up -If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you dont voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same. Be willing to compromise -- When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, youll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
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Strategy #2
Be more assertive --Dont take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If youve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk. Manage your time better -- Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When youre stretched too thin and running behind, its hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you dont overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress youre under.
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Strategy #3: Adapt to the stressor

If you cant change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude. Reframe problems -- Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
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Strategy #3
Look at the big picture -- Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere. Adjust your standards --Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with good enough. Focus on the positive -- When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
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Adjusting Your Attitude

How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always," "never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.
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Strategy #4: Accept the things you cant change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You cant prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, its easier than railing against a situation you cant change. Dont try to control the uncontrollable -- Many things in life are beyond our control particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
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Strategy #4
Look for the upside -- As the saying goes, What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes. Share your feelings -- Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what youre going through can be very cathartic, even if theres nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Learn to forgive -- Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.
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Strategy #5: Make time for fun and relaxation Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, youll be in a better place to handle lifes stressors when they inevitably come.
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Strategy #5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Go for a walk Spend time in nature Call a good friend Sweat out tension with a good workout Write in your journal Take a long bath Light scented candles
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Healthy ways to relax

Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea Play with a pet Work in your garden Get a massage Curl up with a good book Listen to music Watch a comedy
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Healthy ways to relax

Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea Play with a pet Work in your garden Get a massage Curl up with a good book Listen to music Watch a comedy
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Healthy ways to relax

Do something you enjoy every day -Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike. Keep your sense of humor -- This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
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Strategy #6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle

You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health. Exercise regularly -- Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension. Eat a healthy diet -- Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.

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Strategy #6
Reduce caffeine and sugar -- By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, youll feel more relaxed and youll sleep better. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs -- Selfmedicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Get enough sleep -- Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.
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De-stress

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