The Impact of Domestic Abuse on Children

Ken Murray, LCSW, ACSW

About Me
Retired Army officer with diverse experience
Social Work Officer Strategic planner Company Commander Generals aide Special Operator

Various degrees in social work, administration, nursing

A big paper away from a PhD (committee found) Masters degrees in social work and healthcare administration Bachelors degrees in liberal arts and nursing

Husband (mediocre), father (pretty good)

Married to Army Social Work Officer Children 18, 15, 2, baking
murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

More About Me
Currently
Private Practice
Psychotherapy with individuals, couples and families

Montgomery County Jail

Assessments and crisis intervention, brief therapy

Austin Peay State University

Adjunct instructor and field liaison

In the works
Grant through Vanderbilt and Lazarus Project
Families and PTSD

Prospective venture through UC-Berkley

Active phase suicide intervention

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Understanding Domestic Violence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBPEkEOUUp0

Prevalence
The problem is pervasive 1.3 million women and 835,000 men report being physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States. 92% of abused women did not discuss incidents with their physicians; 57% did not discuss the incidents with anyone. Age is a factor. Nearly half of DV occurs in couples under 25 More than half occurs in homes with kids under age 12

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Prevalence of Child Witnesses

An estimated 7-15 million children witness assaults against a parent by an intimate partner in the U.S.
Journal of Family Psychology

there are only 73 million total under 18 20 million total under age 5
US Census Bureau

US Census Bureau

90% of kids in violent homes witness parental abuse

www.4children.org

Child abuse is 15xs more likely in homes where spouse abuse exists (kids are abused or neglected 75% of the time) 75 percent of boys who witness have developed behavioral problems
murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Victims
Studies reveal that spouse abuse is most frequent among young couples who have not yet developed joint coping and communication skills.

History of domestic violence (criminal or civil)

Victims tend to be young mothers; 57% were under age 26 and 18% were ages 16-20. About 78% have children. Victims tend to be employed

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Physical
Coercion Intimidation Privilege Psychological Sexual Spiritual Economic

Emotional

What Dr. Bruce Perry Says Kiddos Need

Core Strengths for Health Development

ATTACHMENT: Being a Friend Tthe capacity to form and maintain healthy emotional bonds with another person. First acquired in infancy, as a child interacts with loving, responsive, and attentive parents and caregivers. Lifelong process of development Begins with the external regulation provided by parents or significant caregivers Healthy growth depends on a child's experience and the maturation of the brain.

SELF-REGULATION: Thinking Before You Act

AFFILLIATION: Joining In

Springs from attachment ability

Glue for healthy human functioning Allows us to form and maintain relationships with others-and to create something stronger, more adaptive, and more creative than the individual.

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Core Strengths for Healthy Child Development

AWARENESS: Thinking of Others The ability to recognize the needs, interests, strengths, and values of others.

As children grow, their awareness of differences and similarities becomes more complex.
Tolerance is the capacity to understand and accept how others are different from you. The followup to awareness (I see differences, now what do I do with that?) Grows from the foundation of the preceding five strengths. An aware, tolerant child with good affiliation, attachment, and self-regulation strengths gains respect naturally. Lifelong process, yet its roots are in early childhood, as children learn these core strengths and integrate them into their behaviors and their worldview.

TOLERANCE: Accepting Differences

RESPECT: Respecting yourself and others

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

An Erickson Review- Just for fun

Attachment Self Regulation Affiliation Awareness Tolerance Respect

These are essential skills for kiddos learned throughout the first five stages Identity Generativity Trust Initiative and practiced throughout life Role Confusion Stagnation Mistrust Guilt
Autonomy Shame Industry Inferiority Intimacy Isolation

1.5
Hope Will

3
Purpose

5
Competence

12
Fidelity

18
Love

35
Care

Family is most significant Builds self-esteem andtrust, autonomy as Develop optimism, Crucial stage for developing sense relationship What is done to them VS What they new skills and right from wrong are confidence, and security of competence and self-esteem Seek intimacy and satisfying Copy adults and blueprint what it can do learned. VS relationships to be one. Morality develops Is sure of himself,means full of pride Learning new skills, creating insecurity, worthlessness, Social Negotiating social interactions VS role identifcation trumps Recreate family of origin general mistrust to low the struggle Where do I fit? and Feeling shame and Oedipal and self Conquer inadequacy and inferiority world. anConfusion this= guilt esteem during inability toin learn certain skills.

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

The Results of Being a Child Witness

Kids: The Effects

Children who witness abuse of their maternal caretaker are:
24 times more likely to commit sexual assault crimes 50% more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol 74% more likely to commit crimes against another person 6 times more likely to commit suicide
www.cwsor.org/impact murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496 KSM

Kids Coping in Homes of Abuse

Mental blocking or disconnecting emotionally Making it better through fantasy Physical Avoidance Looking for love and acceptance (in all the wrong places) Taking charge through caretaking Reaching out for help Acting out Redirecting emotions into positive activities Trying to predict, explain or control the behavior of the abuser
KSM

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

How Child Victims Might Behave as Adults

An inability to trust Often displays very manipulative behavior Avoids being vulnerable Very often is an over-achiever; yet rarely satisfied with their accomplishments May have a series of relationships, usually unsatisfying and often end badly Depression is common Can be very angry people, with limited skills on how to appropriately discharge their anger Very often, display addictive behaviors. Eating disorders may be closely related to having suffered as a child Three times more likely to have a personality disorder
KSM

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Personality Disorders
Personality= the enduring behavioral and mental traits that distinguish human beings. Personality disorders differ from societal norms and expectations. People with PDs may experience difficulties in
Cognition Emotiveness Interpersonal functioning Impulse control

Substantial disturbances in some behavioral tendencies of an individual, usually involving several areas of the personality, Nearly always associated with considerable personal and social disruption. PDs are inflexible and pervasive across many situations
Ego-syntonic Perceived to be appropriate by that individual Maladaptive coping skills May lead to personal problems that induce extreme anxiety, distress or depression Onset: early adolescence 1. Extreme and distorted thinking patterns
2. Problematic emotional response patterns 3. Impulse control problems 4. Significant interpersonal problems

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

The Bottom Line

Domestic abuse feeds on secrecy cut it off

If your Spidey-Sense tingles, trust it

Ask the hard questions in many cases, it takes a village Keep learning, keep talking, keep working

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Closing

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Do This!

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

Community Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline Department of Social Work Family Advocacy Program Military One Source Chaplain Hotline New Parent Support Program Taxicab Family Life Chaplain JAG Legal Assistance United Way /Safehouse Sanctuary, Inc 800-799-SAFE 270-798-8601 270-798-4191/2095 800-342-9647 270-798-2273 270-956-3850 931-431-3535/645-9000 270-798-3316 270-798-4432/4927 211/ 931-552-6900 270-885-4572

Emergency Assistance Military Police Clarksville Police Hopkinsville Police Oak Grove Police Montgomery County Sheriff Christian County Sheriff

911 270-798-2677 931-648-0656 270-887-1135 270-439-4602 931-648-0611 270-887-4141

Family Violence Prevention Fund Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women National Center for Children Exposed to Violence Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence

www.endabuse.org www.mcbw.org www.nccev.org www.mincava.umn.edu/link/ www.wscadv.org

murrayk@apsu.edu 931-980-9496

KSM