For Business & Social Occasions

ETIQUETTE

What is etiquette?
Etiquette has to do with good manners. It is not so much our own good manners, but

making other people feel comfortable by the way we behave. The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or authority to be observed in social or business life.

Meeting & greeting

Personal Effectiveness Series

Standing
When someone comes to visit at the office, stand and

come out from behind your desk unless the visitor is a co-worker or someone who comes into your office frequently in the course of the day. The frequency consideration comes into play even when a senior executive visits the office of a junior executive. If it's a common occurrence, there's no need to get up; however, you should certainly stop what you're doing and give your full attention to the senior executive whenever you're in his or her presence.

Standing
Everyone should stand when being introduced. At one time women remained seated when new people arrived on the scene, but not nowadays. However, when newcomers arrive at a very large function, they are greeted only by those nearest

them. If it is impossible for you to riseif perhaps you are wedged behind the tableat least lean forward or rise slightly so as not to appear distant.

Shaking Hands
A handshake leaves a very definite and often lasting impression. In the business world a handshake is the only truly appropriate physical contact for both men and women. When you are at an office or social party, keep

your drink in your left hand to avoid giving someone a wet, cold handshake. Don't rock or sway. Handshaking is not a tango.

Fingers together, thumb up

Firm but not crushing

A weak, limp handshake

The proper shake

Involves eye contact Is firm but painless Lasts about three seconds Takes only two or three pumps Starts and stops crisply Doesn't continue through the entire

introduction

The proper shake

Keep your fingers together and your thumb

up. Slide the web of your hand all the way to the web of the other person's hand. Otherwise, he or she ends up shaking hands with your fingers. Also, shaking web to web effectively prevents the other person, no matter how strong, from crunching your knuckles.

You shake when

Someone offers his/her hand to you First meeting someone Greeting guests Greeting your host/hostess Renewing an acquaintance Saying goodbye

Hugs and Kisses

In general, hugs and kisses are inappropriate in any business environment. In fact, touching

others in the workplace, whether they are of the same gender or not, is impolite even if you feel that the other person is your pal. This stricture includes patting someone on the back, putting your arm around someone, or putting your hand on his or her shoulder. It is acceptable at a business/social function to kiss your spouse, if you happen to be getting along that day. Even then, keep it casual and cursory.

Greetings between cultures

When greeting someone, an American's first instinct is to stick out his or her hand, look

directly at the other person, and smile. In some situations, this habit can mean making three mistakes at once. And the moment of greeting is when crucial first impressions are made. Methods and styles of greeting vary greatly around the world, and you need to know which practices apply in different circumstances. A handshake is not the universally approved greeting. Also, Look 'em right in the eye is not always the best advice.

Hand holding
Same-sex hand holding, seen by some as a

signal of a homosexual relationship, is a common gesture of friendship in many countries, particularly Mediterranean and Middle Eastern countries. Most Latinos are more accustomed to physical contact. Even people who know each other only slightly may embrace when greeting.

Greeting Asians
When greeting Asians for the first time, do not

initiate the handshake. You may be forcing a physical contact that the other person finds uncomfortable. Many Asians, particularly Japanese, have learned to accept the handshake when dealing with Westerners. The bow is the customary greeting in Japan, a slight bow of the head when responding to a proffered handshake is appropriate. Westerners generally are not expected to be familiar with the complex Japanese bowing protocols.

Middle East, France, Italy

Middle Easterners, particularly Muslims,

avoid body contact with the opposite sex, but persons of the same sex commonly hug when greeting each other. When shaking hands, men should be careful not to pull their hand away too quickly. People from France, Spain, Italy, and Portugal greet friends by kissing on both cheeks.

Smiling
The smile is the near-universal gesture of

friendliness, and in America its meaning is usually clear. The person smiling is happy, amused, and/or sending out a friendly signal. In other cultures the smile may be sending other signals. In some Latin cultures, for example, the smile may be used to say Excuse me or Please.

Smiling
If a person from another culture does not

return your greeting smile, it doesn't indicate hostility or bad manners. In some Asian cultures, smiling is a gesture to be reserved for informal occasions, and smiling while being formally introduced would be considered disrespectful.

Eye Contact
In many cultures, avoiding eye contact is a

sign of respect, but such behavior can lead to misunderstandings. For example, some Korean shopkeepers have been accused of disrespecting their non-Korean customers because the shopkeepers avoided making eye contact. The same sort of misunderstanding has occurred between American teachers and Asian students who do not look at the teacher while he or she is speaking.

Communications Etiquette
Personal Effectiveness Series

Communications Etiquette
Q. How should I distribute invitations at office to a non-office related party or event? A. When inviting office mates to a home party, follow the offices policy for extending invitations. In the absence of a policy, keep in mind that when invitations are passed out at office, excluded mates may have their feelings hurt. If all the mates in the office can not be included, invitations should be issued discreetly and outside of the office environment (ex. after office, by mail, by phone).

Communications Etiquette
Q. What is the proper way to answer the

phone? A. When answering the phone at your desk say..."Hello, this is Sharma" Do not say phrases such as Sharma here!" or simply "Hello. Q. What is the polite way to leave a voice mail message? A. Repeat your name and telephone number twice when leaving a voice mail message.

Communications Etiquette
Q. What is the best way to utilize a home-

office (SOHO) telephone system? A. If you have a home-based business...Install a second line for business-use only and have an automatic answering system that picks up automatically if you are on the other line. Therefore, eliminating busy signals and portraying a professional image to your clients.

Communications Etiquette
Q. When receiving a telephone call at work, should you say the name of the company? A. If you are answering the telephone at a business, it is polite to state the companys name in your greeting. Q. Can I use my company letterhead for

personal correspondence? A. Avoid using business stationery for nonbusiness letters such as personal thank-you notes and invitations to events that are not business related.

Communications Etiquette
Q. I received a retirement gift from a group of individuals

and was wondering if I should send a handwritten thank you card or use a word-processing program and send a copy to the entire group. A. A handwritten thank-you card on nice personal stationery (not company letterhead) would be more appropriate than a typed and signed letter. If the gift was sent by your old company's department or unit, you could simply send a thank-you card to the department head, director or communication contact. However, if you knew each sender personally, you should send individual thankyou cards to each person. This simple act of kindness will show that you appreciated their gesture and value their friendship.

Communications Etiquette
Q. If you have received a phone call from

someone whose number you did not have originally, but it was captured on Caller ID (no message was left on your voice mail) is it inappropriate to call the person back? A. No, it is appropriate to call someone back only when he or she requests a call back and leaves their return phone number.

Communications Etiquette
Q. Are speakerphones rude? A. No, simply ask permission before putting a

person on the telephone's speakerphone. Q. I need some tips on holiday greeting card etiquette A. Update your holiday greeting cards and list annually. Pay special attention to friends or relatives who have experienced life changes such as a marriage, divorce or a death in the family and address cards accordingly.

Communications Etiquette
Q. When should a thank-you card be sent

after receiving a gift? A. Always remember to send a thank-you note or card within two weeks of receiving a gift. However, sending a late thank you acknowledging reception of a gift is better than sending a belated correspondence.

Communications Etiquette
Q. What is the proper etiquette for

announcing a marriage that has already taken place? A. A marriage announcement should be sent out within a day or two of the marriage but may be sent up to a year after a marriage that has taken place.

Communications Etiquette
Q. Who calls back when disconnected on

the telephone? A. When there is poor telephone connection or when you are disconnected, the individual who originated/initiated the call is responsible for calling back the other party.

Communications Etiquette
Q. Should you send thank you cards to family for

Christmas/holiday gifts? A. A thank-you card should always be sent if you did not open the gift in the gift givers presence or anytime you wish to express sincere appreciation for a gift received. Q. At my recent surprise birthday party I received some generous gifts and some less valuable gifts. Are thank you notes sent to everyone regardless of gift size? A. It is customary to send a thank-you card for all gifts received, regardless of gift size or value.

Communications Etiquette
Q. What is a polite way to turn down a

dinner invitation? A. What is a polite way to turn down a dinner invitation? When replying to an invitation, convey your sincere regret by responding with something such as, Thank you for the kind invitation, but I will be unable to attend as I have a previous engagement.

Communications Etiquette
Q. When is it appropriate to address someone by their first name? A. Use first names when addressing someone only after being asked to do so. Q. What is the proper way to address a letter/card to a widow? A. A recent widow may be addressed as Mrs. (husbands name). However, if she is not recently widowed, she may be addressed as either Mrs.

(her name) or Ms. (her name).

Communications Etiquette
Q. How should I respond to an invitation to a formal event when there was no response card

enclosed with the invitation? A. How should I respond to an invitation to a formal event when there was no response card enclosed with the invitation. If an RSVP with a telephone number is given on the invitation, a phone call with your reply is sufficient. If however, the formal invitation was issued in third-person format, a reply note written also in the third-person is appropriate.

Communications Etiquette
Q. Is it necessary to apologize for not

immediately returning a phone call that had been originally initiated by yourself? A. All telephone calls should be promptly returned, regardless of who initiated the original phone call.

Communications Etiquette
Q. I have sent out invitations for a sit down

luncheon at a restaurant and I still have not had a response from numerous people. Should I call the people and verify their schedule and how soon before luncheon should I contact them? A. Yes, it is appropriate to call the guests so that you may give the restaurant an accurate head count and one week in advance would be an appropriate timeframe.

Communications Etiquette
Q. I married last year and have yet to send

my thank- you cards. Should I forget about them or still send them out? A. Thank-you notes for wedding gifts are expected and it is never too late to send them, but at this time, the sooner, the better.

Communications Etiquette
Q. What is the proper etiquette when using CALLER ID? A. When using CALLER ID, avoid greeting a caller by using his name before he says "Hello" and identifies himself. Q. To whom should a baby announcement be

sent and what time frame is appropriate? A. Send baby announcements to your family and friends whom you feel would enjoy sharing in your happy news. Send the announcements as soon as possible after the birth.

Communications Etiquette
Q. How soon should I reply to a holiday

event or party invitation? A. Reply (R.S.V.P) to an invitation as soon as possible - preferably within one week after receiving the invitation.

Communications Etiquette
Q. Is it rude to use your cell phone in a

social environment? A. Always use discretion when using a cellular phone in a social environment; refrain from placing cell phone calls and only answer cellular calls after excusing yourself from the immediate area.

Business Etiquette
Personal Effectiveness Series

Business Etiquette
Q. What is the proper time to arrive for an

appointment? A. Always arrive on time for an appointment.--Never arrive late. ---Arrive no more than five minutes early. Q. Can I exchange business cards while dining? A. Business cards should never be exchanged while dining. This is true at even the most informal dining situations.

Business Etiquette
Q. Is it impolite to ask an executive of a

company for payment of outstanding invoices? A. For services rendered, it is not considered impolite to request payment. However, you should first contact your billing representative before approaching the executives or principals of the company.

Business Etiquette
Q. What is the proper way to display flags? A. When displaying flags at business, civic or

social events, the Indian flag is placed on the speaker's right. State and organizations' flags are placed on the speakers left or to the audience's right.

Business Etiquette
Q. How should I exchange gifts with my

fellow co-workers at the office during the holiday season? A. First, always observe the company's specific gift giving policy. Second, employees should be discreet when exchanging gifts with one another. Gifts should be exchanged away from other co-workers, so not to offend employees not receiving any gifts.

Business Etiquette
Q. Can I hold a drink when in a receiving

line? A. Alcoholic beverages are inappropriate in a receiving line. Both the "greeters" standing in the line and the guests being introduced should not have a drink in hand.

Business Etiquette
Q. How can I get more privacy in my cubicle

without being rude to my co-workers? A. If you are a cubicle worker, who is constantly "challenged" by a lack of privacy at your workplace, propose to management that a 'Cubicle Workers Code of Ethics' be established for workers of a common area.

Business Etiquette
Q. How much perfume/cologne is

acceptable to wear at work? A. Perfume, cologne or aftershave should be applied sparingly, evoking a subtle scent. Strong fragrances, as well as, inexpensive or "cheap" fragrances are often offensive to business associates and therefore inappropriate in a professional venue.

Social Graces
Personal Effectiveness Series

Social Graces
Q. Should I send a gift to the host of a dinner party?

A. If attending a party in a private home and you are the guest of honour, it is appropriate to send flowers to the host's home earlier in the day. Q. When should a gentleman remove his hat?
A. A gentlemen always removes his hat when entering a home, restaurant, theatre or church.

Social Graces
Q. How should I critic a teammate's performance? A. Avoid making harsh, critical comments regarding your or another person's (partner, teammate or member of opposing team) playing ability. Q. We are invited to a dinner party. Should we take a gift to the host? A. Yes. An appropriate hostess gift could be a bottle of wine, flowers or a small item for the

home, such as a candle.

Social Graces
Q. I have been asked out to lunch with a

potential employer. I assume he will pay the check, but should I offer to pay it, or at least my portion? A. It is always polite to offer to pay for the meal and shows good will on your part. However, it is customary for the individual who extended the invitation to cover the check.

Social Graces
Q. What kind of gift do you bring to an

engagement party? A. Not all engagement parties require a gift to be brought so it would be best to make quiet inquiries whether you should bring a gift. If so, a small personal gift for the couple, such as a silver picture frame, would be appropriate.

Social Graces
Q. When a man calls off a wedding, should the woman give the engagement ring back to

him? A. Yes, it is polite and customary for the woman to return the engagement ring. Q. What is considered appropriate and customary dress for men and women for a dinner party when the invitation states "Cocktail" attire? A. A dark well-tailored suit for men and a black or jewel-toned knee- or tea-length dress for women would be appropriate for cocktail attire.

Social Graces
Q. What should parents do when their

children are too young and disruptive during holiday religious ceremonies? A. Attending religious ceremonies during the holidays is an important and joyful tradition for families. However, parents should find alternate activities for children too young to sit comfortably, quietly and still throughout the services; thus respecting the house of worship and the other attendees.

Social Graces
Q. How should I receive a compliment? A. Learn to receive compliment graciously. When

someone says something positive about you, don't deny or refute it. Instead, thank them for the compliment and enjoy their praise. Q. Should children ask permission before playing on a neighbour's yard? A. Children should first ask permission before walking or playing on a neighbours yard or property.

Social Graces
Q. What is the correct way to sneeze or

cough in public? A. If you sense a sneeze or cough coming on, cover your nose and mouth with your left hand (if you are right-handed) thus leaving your right hand clean for shaking hands, opening doors, etc. (Note: When you have a cold/flu you should also wash your hands often.)

Social Graces
Q. When shopping at a department store,

who gets on/off an elevator first when the doors open, the people in the elevator or the people waiting for the elevator. A. Wait until all passengers have exited an elevator before trying to enter the elevator. Department store elevators can be extremely crowded and this act of patience will benefit everyone by preventing unnecessary hostility.

Social Graces
Q. I am uncomfortable when asked to make

a charitable donation at the supermarket or mall. How can I refuse the offer politely? A. If you're not comfortable making a donation to charity collectors at malls or supermarkets: Instead say a kind word to the volunteer such as, " Thank you for your efforts this holiday season". Your kindness and compassion will be appreciated.

Social Graces
Q. What is the proper etiquette when

standing in line during the holiday shopping season? A. If you have many items to purchase/return, be polite and let a person go ahead of you in line if they only have one or two items. This kind gesture not only spreads goodwill, but also increases the speed of the check-out for other customers as well.

Social Graces
Q. To which side should a gentleman seat a

female? A. A gentlemen at a social dinner party holds the chair and seats the female on his right. Q. What is the proper distance to stand from someone when introducing yourself? A. You must stand at an approximate distance of one arm's length from an individual when introducing yourself.

Social Graces
Q. What are the proper forms of address when the lady is higher ranked than the man? A. When a lady is higher ranked than a gentleman...

Dr. Suman Roy and Mr. Manjul Roy (when married) Dr. Suman Roy Mr. Manjul Roy (Place on separate lines and omit the "and" when not married)

Social Graces
Q. What are some appropriate gifts for a baptism? A. Some appropriate gift ideas for a babys baptism are small, engraved silver items such as a rattle, frame, or infant dining set. Q. With the changing gender roles in our

society, who opens the door, the male or the female? A. The person who reaches the door first, regardless of gender, is responsible for holding the door open for others.

Social Graces
Q. Is it proper to send a gift basket to a

client at their home address? A. In most cases, it is more appropriate to send a business gift to the company address. However, if you know the client well and he has given you his home address, then the gift may be sent to the home.

Social Graces
Q. Is it appropriate for someone to ask you

to take off your shoes when entering their home? A. Yes, when a guest in someone elses home, it is appropriate to abide by their rules and requests. Taking off shoes in someones home is also a traditional custom in some countries such as Japan.

Social Graces
Q. If "no gifts please" is specified on a

surprise birthday party invitation, should a gift still be taken? Is it OK to ignore the invitation and take a gift anyway? A. It is best to heed the instructions on the invitation.

Social Graces
Q. What are some examples of changing

gender roles in todays society? A. Some examples of changing gender roles are: The person who reaches a doorway first, regardless of gender, opens the door for others approaching. The person who extends an invitation for cocktails or dinner, regardless of gender, is responsible for paying the bill.

Social Graces
Q. Could you please tell me if it is correct to

say, "excuse me" after sneezing at the office? A. It is polite and appropriate to excuse yourself after sneezing or coughing in both social and professional situations.

Social Graces
Q. Who gets on/off an elevator first, men or

women? A. The person who reaches the elevator first or is closest to the door, regardless of gender, enters or exits an elevator first.

Social Graces
Q. When a person is invited to a co-workers wedding and cannot attend, should you send a

card and include money or a gift? A. Sending a small gift and card would be more appropriate than a card and money. Q. When ordering take out food from a restaurant by telephone, is it necessary to tip? A. When ordering take out food from a restaurant by telephone, is it necessary to tip? No, it is not necessary to tip in this situation.

Table manners
Personal Effectiveness Series

Table Manners
Q. Is it considered rude to take a sip of your drink while still chewing? A. It is considered good manners to wait until you have finished chewing and have swallowed your food before taking a sip of your beverage. Q. What is the correct position for a coffee cup

in a formal place setting? A. The coffee cup and saucer is placed to the right of the place setting, to the right of the furthest utensil. Since most people are righthanded, the handle should face to the right.

Table Manners
Q. After the completion of a formal dinner,

where do you place your utensils? A. Place the knife and fork parallel to one another across the plate with the knife blade facing inward toward the plate. Position the knife and fork in the position of ten oclock to four oclock.

Table Manners
Q. How should I fold a large napkin before

placing it in my lap? A. Large dinner napkins should be folded in half after opening and before placing on one's lap. Q. Is it proper for a woman to apply lipstick at the table after a meal? A. It is appropriate for a woman to excuse herself and apply lipstick in a private area such as a restroom.

Table Manners
Q. When should the host/hostess of a

dinner party be served? A. The host hostess of a dinner party should be the last one served. If the meal is getting cold, the host/hostess may state something to the effect, "Please begin while the food is still warm".

Table Manners
Q. At a formal dinner party, how do I

properly serve and remove the dishes and glasses? A. When entertaining formally, dishes are presented or served at guest's left and removed from the right side. Glasses are filled from the right.

Table Manners
Q. When dining at a fine restaurant should you eat different types of food on your plate

individually or eat all the food groups together? A. It is appropriate to eat all items together as the different foods complement one another. Q. What direction should food be passed at the table? A. Food should be passed to the right, or counter-clockwise.

Table Manners
Q. When eating meat, should you cut one piece,

put your knife down, then eat the piece, or should you cut all of your meat up first, and then eat the meat? A. When eating meat, always cut and eat one small piece at a time. If you are eating American style, you may put your knife down, switch your fork to your other hand and eat your bite. If you are eating Continental style, you may cut the piece of meat and eat it without putting setting your knife on your plate. Continental Dining Style is becoming more prevalent today and is considered the preferred method of eating.

Table Manners
Q. Is it wrong to stand when a lady excuses

herself from the table? What is the proper etiquette when the woman excuses herself and returns? A. In a social setting, it is always appropriate for a male to stand when a female is taking her leave. However, in a business setting, it is not always necessary for a male to rise whenever his female coworker(s) leave the table.

Table Manners
Q. Should you dismiss yourself from the table if you need to sneeze or blow your nose? A. Yes, excuse yourself from the table, and at no time should you use your napkin as a handkerchief. Q. When dining out, is it okay to share your

food with the others at the table for tasting purposes? A. Yes, it is appropriate to share when others at the table are also willing to share. However, always request additional small plates and clean utensils for dividing the shared food.

Table Manners
Q. Where do I place my napkin when briefly excusing myself during the meal?

A. Place your napkin on the chair when excusing yourself during the meal as it is not appropriate to place a soiled napkin on the table while people are still eating. At the completion of a meal, carefully place the napkin at the left of your place setting or if the plates have been cleared, place the napkin in the center without actually refolding to original state.

Table Manners
Q. Who pays the bill when dining out? A. When entertaining a guest, such as when out

for dinner or cocktails, the person who extended the invitation (regardless of gender) is responsible for paying the bill. Q. When do I use the salad fork? A. When served a salad as the main entre, use your dinner fork or entre fork. Also, if your salad is served as a side dish on your main entre plate, use your dinner fork. Otherwise, use your salad fork for your salad!

Table Manners
Q. What is the correct way to butter bread

or a roll? A. When served bread or a roll on a bread/butter plate; break the bread with your fingers into pieces small enough for one or two bites; butter a pulled apart piece and then eat it. Do not butter the entire roll or piece of bread at one time.

Table Manners
Q. Which side of the guest should I pour wine from at the dinner table? A. Pour wine and all beverages from the right, while standing behind and to the right of the guest. Q. What is the correct way to serve yourself a

portion of brie cheese? Do you just cut a piece from the soft part or try to cut off a portion including the hard skin? A. Serve yourself an entire piece of cheese neatly and then you may cut away the crust on your own plate.

Table Manners
Q. When should charger plates be removed from

the dinner table? A. The charger plates should be on the table when the guests are seated. The soup, fish or salad course are served on top of the charger. It is customary for the charger plate to be removed prior to the serving of the entree or dinner course. Some people however, prefer to leave the charger plate on the table during the entree because they enjoy the appearance of the charger. Regardless of if you remove the charge after the soup, fish, salad or entree, the charger plate should always be removed before the dessert course.

Table Manners
Q. When you have some food in your mouth that you dont want to swallow, what should

you do? A. Move the food forward with your tongue onto the fork and place it back on the side of your plate. Q. Where do I place the finger bowl after cleansing my fingers? A. When using a finger bowl, after cleansing your fingers, place the finger bowl and the doily on the upper left side of the place setting; this clears the dessert plate for the dessert.

Table Manners
Q. Where are the dessert utensils placed in a formal table

setting? A. When setting the table, the dining utensils (or flatware) used for eating dessert should be placed using one of the following options: 1) At the top of the place setting with the fork (handle pointing left) placed above the plate and the spoon (handle pointing right) placed above the fork. 2) The dessert spoon placed to the immediate right of the plate. 3) The dessert fork and spoon placed on the dessert plate along with the finger bowl and presented immediately before the dessert.

Table Manners
Q. What do you do when the salad has big

pieces of lettuce? Can you cut them with your knife? A. Years ago, when knife blades were still made of silver, this was true, as the vinegar harmed the blades. However, today, most knife blades are stainless steel and therefore, may be used to cut lettuce into smaller bites.

Table Manners
Q. Should a child stand or sit while the adults are being seated at the dining table? A. When at a dining table, a child should stand behind his/her chair until all the adults have been seated. Q. Where should I put my napkin at the

completion of the meal? A. At the completion of a meal, carefully place the napkin at the left of your place setting or if the plates have been cleared, place the napkin in the center without actually refolding to original state.

Table Manners
Q. In a family setting, which direction should food be passed for serving? A. Food is passed to the right, or counterclockwise. Q. What should you do if you spill a beverage on yourself while dining? A. Clean up the spill at the table or excuse yourself to the restroom if needed. Apologize to anyone your slight mishap may have

inconvenienced.

Table Manners
Q. When a fellow diner asks to "please pass

the salt, is it standard etiquette to pass both the salt and the pepper? A. We recommend first passing the salt and then inquiring if the other guest would also like the pepper.