5 Love Languages

Improving Relationships
KhaeyZee

What is LOVE?
The English word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment.[1] It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affectionthe unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".[2] And it may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.[3]

What is LOVE?
.[1] It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affectionthe unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".[2] And it may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals

Did YOU know?

Love is expressed in many ways Love is a kind of language What is your love language?

How do You?
How do you show love? How do you feel loved by others? How do you love yourself?

LOVE

The Languages of LOVE

There are 5 love languages
Words of Affirmation Physical Touch Acts of Service Receiving / Giving Gifts Quality Time

This language uses words to affirm other people.

Words of Affirmation
These are words of praise, compliments, pointing out the good in the other, thanking them for support and help. A dialect of this language (yes, the love languages have lots of different dialects) is encouraging words. Another dialect is kind words. It reminds us of the advice of Muhammad, peace be upon him, gave his companions, If a person loves his brother, he should tell him so. As somebody who has yet to learn to speak that language fluently, who finds it easier to point out flaws than give out praise, Lets chose as our first challenge to refrain from criticism, hoping that at one point the ensuing silences will fill up with words of affirmation.

To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

Physical Touch
Touch is the most basic sense, the one sense that all of us are able to use. People may be blind, deaf, and not able to smell or taste anything, but no matter what, you will have skin that can be touched. Studies have shown that babies who are neglected, who are not touched and hugged and kissed enough, develop emotional problems later on in life. In times of crises a hug is an instinctive gesture and communicates that we love that person.

Physical Touch
Most men will say that their love language is touch because they connect it with sex. You have to ask them the question, If you can have regular sex, whenever you want, how important is it for you to be given a hug, to hold the hand of your spouse, to say good-bye with a kiss? If the answer is, not very, your primary love language is not touch.

For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Acts of Service
Most wives and mothers have to learn this language to a certain degree, yet it is not necessarily their language of love. Beware though that this language has dialects too, depending on the importance of the act of service. Many husbands think that the fact that they work and spend their money on the family counts as an act of service. Not for most wives. It is not something that you do solely to show your love to your wife, unless before marriage you were an idealistic and broke artist, who finally took on a boring job for the sake of the family.

Acts of Service
For most wives its that cup of tea brought in the morning, the nappy changed, the dishwasher emptied, the washing hung up that counts. For most men whose primary love language is act of service its the clean house, the meal cooked that makes them feel loved. Speakers of this language have to watch out not to make themselves into a doormat. The doormat no longer gives out of love; s/he will sooner or later resent her/his giving.

For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.

Receiving/Giving Gifts
Giving gifts seems to be one of the culturally imposed love languages in Filipino culture. According to Dr. Chapman, if your partners or childs love language is receiving gifts it is important that you give, no matter how tight finances are. The monetary value of the gift is irrelevant. They want a visible token of your love, maybe its a card you made, or a flower you dried for them. Dr. Chapman thinks that it is one of the easiest love languages to learn.

Receiving/Giving Gifts
However, one of the dialects of this language, is what Chapman calls the gift of self or the gift of presence. It means going to the funeral of your friends father, it means picking up your sister from hospital after her operation and making sure that she is all right, and it is very close to

This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.

Quality Time
The most difficult aspect to take on board about this language is that talking to somebody and focusing your attention on her does not necessarily mean quality time. Yes, it is a prerequisite to focus. You are not spending quality time with your partner/friend when you sit beside them while they watch a cartoon and you text your brother. Quality time is talking to them, or playing with them, and not doing anything else. But sometimes talking is already too much. Listening to your partner/child could be the real quality time.

Quality Time
Most people, when they tell you about a bad day at work or school, dont want to hear advice, dont need the problem solved, all they want is to let go of it, to find their own solutions. A dialect of quality time is quality activity. Sometimes people enjoy the same activity. In this case it is easy to spend quality time together, like walking or cycling. But what if only one of you enjoys visiting galleries? Well, you can choose to visit a gallery once a month with your spouse, in return for him browsing in the second hand bookshop with you for an hour or two. Again, it is the active choice to speak in your partners language that is the crucial point here.

3 Ways of Understanding the Love Languages

Expressing LOVE to others

How do you express your love to others? What language do you use? How have they responded to this language?

Being Loved by Others

How do you feel love by other people? Which language do you communicate to them to express it to you? How have you responded to this language?

Loving Yourself
How do you show you love yourself? What language do you use? How have you responded to this language?

Loving
Maybe the most fascinating aspect of the idea of love languages is the fact that we can actively learn a language that doesnt come naturally to us, that we can actively make a decision to do something out of love. It gives the human being a tool to own their love, to make it an active choice based on commitment and loyalty. For love is as this magical force coming over you, falling in love and falling out of it, making the human being a victim of forces outside their control, has always sounded fake, an excuse to act selfishly and ruin the lives of other people in the name of love. Love is giving of yourself, with no expectations of anything in return, not only when it is easy but when you would rather withdraw or walk away

LOVING GOD
GOD IS LOVE. The knowledge on love languages should enable us to be able to understand others and express love to them as God has said, whatever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.

Summary
There are 5 love languages Each language has different dialects These love languages may vary when expressing love for others, for oneself and for feeling the love of others. Love is a GIFT. As God is LOVE.

Thank YOU