Are you.

Tired?

Lost?

Fed Up?
In trying to be the perfect mother for your children?

Have you ever thought of .

Giving Up?
Running away?? Suicides???

Cheer UP!
Cause we have JUST the thing you need!!

How to be a Good Mommy 101

A beginners guide to becoming the worlds best mother!

Tried and tested by the Mommy herself. *Note: no mommies were hurt in the making of this presentation

Tip no. 1
Be the best cake-cutter of all time

Master the craft of cutting cake with such precision that you can feed around 60 people with an one-pound cake!
Note: knives are not always available in which case you might have to make do with scales/ pens/ pencils/ hand/ spoon/ microphone

Tip no. 2
Have a portable water storage tank

Water = life Make sure your children dont die of thirst and always carry a water bottle which can quench the thirst of around 105 children and their teachers!

Note: develop a special bond with the water pot and anyone who dares to come near itgive em The Chop

Tip no. 3
Make sure your pencil box is equivalent to a stationery shop Children need various tools to advance in their education. Always keep in handy markers/multi color pens/ staplers/ pencils/erasers/whitener/ extra stapler pins/scale/tape/scissors/brush/water color/geometry box/ globe/ screwdriver/ hammer/saw etc etc.

Tip no. 4
Have an unlimited supply of Shahi Tukras in your house

Rumor has it Mommy is often seen standing at railway stations wearing a black saree with a gamla full of Shahi Tukras beside her. She offers them to random strangers visiting her village in Chittagong.

Side note: So philanthropic. Amen :)

Tip no. 5
Make the Deddy look good

A beautiful fair Daddy will help to increase your credibility. Remember, to be a good mom, you need to be a good wife first. For this always carry: 1)Skin Whitening Facewash 2)Fairness Cream 3)Sun Tan lotion 4)Chandan bar 5)Umbrella 6)Tomato

Tip no. 6
Recite the whole of Quran after every namaz

Note: The real mommy actually practices this.

Tip no. 7
Be smart about fulfilling your childs wish Take every possible measure to ensure your child goes to the batch trip, but make sure he/she doesnt go near the water.

Note: Emotional blackmail coupled with a stern voice works best here

Mommy ples, ektu jai pani te?

Tip no.8
For health issues (esp. street foods), dont hesitate to be a little stern. Being strict at times ensures your child remembers who the boss is.

Pani puri!! Bhel puri!! Varapao!! Dosa! Yummmmm Indiyeah XD

Chor dekhso!!

Forget it

Tip no. 9
Take extra care for your childs academic results You should be a daredevil and when you child sits for his/her exam, march into the exam hall, push the teacher aside and shout out the answers to your child and also their friends.

Note: in case the teacher attempts to throw you out, claim you are pregnant and going through a hormonal phase

Tip no. 10
Know how to manipulate your childs teachers

Note: Our mommy was the voice of the entire 18th batch and convinced the Mango to postpone the exam. And Mango changed the exam for the first time in history. Wondering what she said? ;) *sir apni to onek strong*

Tip no. 11
Feed your children with your own hands no matter how old they get

Note: our Mommy used to feed Wasifa and Tabbassum all the time and she used to pick out the fish-bones for Masudaawwhh ^__^

Tip no. 12
Remember to get PLENTY of sleep Being a Mommy is a tiring work and you need plenty of sleep. If you cant find the time, fall asleep, well in any place.

Note: Our Mommy falls asleep everywhere! Bus, train, car, chair, on her childrens shoulders, plane, bed, floor, trees, grass, table, stairs, wall (!). The mommy was once seen to float on air while sleeping!!

So far we have talked about the general tips that you must follow if you want to be acknowledged as a good mother But now for some practical examples. We are going to show you how our Mommy, keeps a whole lot of us (40 or so :P) people under control <3

What our Mommy does!

Practical examples to help you understand the Mommy role better ^__^

Keeps Jummon sane

Is the voice of sanity when a certain chinku starts her usual after-exam ritual

Is especially concerned about her friends new partners religion! In fact, thats the first thing she enquires about when he tells her the good news!!

 Doesnt EVER go on a date with Deddy without a third-wheeler!

 Never hesitates to jharafy her children for

Not saving for the future Not taking a shower Not coming to Frehserz Coming to Fresherz Not eating Eating! Hair-cut No hair cut Talking Not talking Breathing Not breathing!!!

Has mastered the art of poetry!

Some of our mommies best work:
Priyo Ashiq, hole na tumi roshik Kori tomar opekha, bhaggish hoyni tomar jokkha Tao tomai bhalobashi, ei bhebe kori hasha hashi Oray meye, roiyo na tumi cheye Aibar nao tumi kichu kheye Mon khushi hobe tomar khabar peye

Ai je nazia, kothao jashna tui shajia Tui ektu mota shota, er jonno nei kono quota Ekla pothe tui chute cholish, tor priyo holo bichana balish

Doesnt give a damn about technology xD

Who cares? It keeps changing all the time anyway :P
*First we thought to make this on Prezi. Then we realized you may not be able to see it since youre technologically challenged.

Is all ears to everyones problemsEVERY TIME!!

Rumor has it Mommys famous heart-to-heart convos have helped 4 teenagers from committing suicide 2 elderly fellow to find their true loves 18 couples to get married 3 girls from getting pregnant 206 people from going insane

Is an expert at making random faces!!

Now you know the qualities of a good Mommy!

But the MOST important quality that you need to have, is to be wonderful

friend to your children ^__^

And the Mommy we have has been the most amazing, the most incredible friend that we could ever dream of <3 _ <3

Happy Birthday Mommy!! You have very right-fully earned the title MotherIBA! Thank you for taking such good care of your children!! A certain chinky probably would have died crying had you not been there Jummon probably would have committed 5 murders and been behind bars by now. A certain princess would probably never had the chance to go to her batch trip and have the best time of her life

You are the best Mommy!! WE LOVE YOU <3

Many people would probably have died of thirst

A certain batch would never have been complete