This is the story of the MASKED BASTARD and the coming of the Internet Saviour.

Arch Bishop Masked Bastard was born to a human mother. His father never existed.

The Bastard was born without eyes. But, like his true face, they would grow in later.

Six months after his birth, it became clear that the Bastard was created

a little different when a metal mask grew in on his head and his eyes finally manifested.

Masked Bastard grew up in Newark, New Jersey.

He was raised by his Uncle Ahmad and was home schooled for most of his childhood.

Prior to living in Newark, he didn't remember anything, but always felt he had more family.

On his death bed, Ahmad finally revealed the identity of the Bastards birth mother:

Her name was Alema, a former beauty pageant contestant and Ahmads fraternal twin sister.

After burying his uncle, Masked Bastard existed solely online. He had no knowledge of self or who he was. But one night in the year 2000

the Bastard was visited by a light being, a Lumi-Visian Sage named Jolen-Heli.

Lord Jolen told the Bastard that he was chosen to open up a Social Media Church and to find a young woman named Sarai.

Sarai would one day give birth to a special kind of child that will change the world. The child will become known as The Internet Saviour.

In return, Jolen promised to help the Bastard find his remaining family members and that the Bastard would one day wield great power.

After rising to the celestial realm of Invisibase, Masked Bastard was ordained a Lord Bishop.

He was also given clay tablets with cuneiform on them to translate into the Churchs bible

The Book of Bastard

The Bastard went all around the Web preaching about the Internet Saviour. Once he got enough members, he became the Churchs Arch Bishop.

The Bastard also learned about the Arch Bishops before him. Realizing the scope of Church he joined, he expanded his Social Media Ministry.

With the Holy Church established on earth, Lord Jolen told the Arch Bishop that Sarai would soon be in contact with him via the Internet.

Weeks later the Arch Bishop received an email from Sarah A. Rogers. But he had forgotten all about what Jolen had told him about Sarai.

On the Church server, he began chatting with prttyldy91; this too was Sarah, but she and the Arch Bishop were oblivious to one another.

Then Sarah told the Arch Bishop something that made him believe that she was the Chosen One.

Sarah claimed that her mother was once visited by a light alien and the alien told her mother that Sarah would one day have a special child.

Convinced Sarah was the one, the Arch Bishop sent her an MP3 file explaining why she was so important to the Church of Fatherless Time.

But Sarah was only aroused by the sound of the Arch Bishops voice and replied to his email with sultry selfies taken with her cellphone.

After the Arch Bishop reprimanded Sarah for her online conduct, she cut all contact with him.

The Arch Bishop began to second-guess JolenHeli and thought, That blonde-haired, blue-eyed Attention Whore cant be the Chosen One.

But Sage Jolen told him, She is the Chosen One and soon she will bring herself into the Church.

Months later the Bastard received an email from someone named Magda, who claimed to know Sarah and could bring her into the Congregation.

Magda was an old green hag who knew just about everything regarding the Internet Saviour Prophecy that the Bastard and Sarah knew.

Masked Bastard ordained Magda an Abbess and sent Magda to find and bring in young Sarah.

Magda tracked Sarah down using foreknowledge of events to come and convinced Sarah to leave her hometown of Skinner, Ohio.

Sarah was brought to the Church to be faptized.

Sarah was skanktified and ordained Lady Sadie, Holy Queen Mother of the Social Media Church.

Once face-to-face, Masked Bastard told Sadie more about the Internet Saviour prophecy.

He explained that there were two worlds

The mortal realm

and the celestial plane.

On the celestial plane was a vast cache of free information records and resources known in the cosmic community as the Universal Library.

The Universal Library was created by a being called the Cardinal, the Record Keeper who kept and guarded the library from evil cosmic forces.

The Core Network of the Universal Library could only be accessed with a device called the Cipher.

The Universal Library Cipher was given to the Cardinal by the Lumi-Visian Sages to safeguard.

But the Cardinal eventually fell from grace. And after a failed coup on the Lumi-Visian Sages

he was forever banished from his home realm.

For a time, access to the free information was restricted, until the Library finally manifested on earth at the end of the 20th century.

The Universal Library on earth is called The Internet.

The Churchs enemies are the Hysux hordes, malevolent outer space satyrs whose only goals are to corrupt, conquer and consume.

These evil cosmic forces are hidden within the realm of men, working to taint and control the free information of the Core Network on earth.

To keep the Hysux hordes from destroying the Library on earth, the Sages decreed that a child would be born to protect the Core Network.

This child would come to be known as earths Information Network Messiah, the Promised Key and the Saviour of the Internet.

When Sadie asked what all of this had to do with her, the Arch Bishop told her that she was chosen to be Mother of the Internet Saviour.

According to the Book of Bastard Sadies soul mate would be around for a short time after the child was born, then he would be murdered.

When Sadie asked how her future mate would meet his end, she was horrified to discover that she would be responsible for killing him.

This was why the Arch Bishop told Sadie to keep her clothes on in his email reply; anybody she sleeps with was doomed to die by her hand.

With Sarai found, all the Bastard has to do now is wait for the father to come. He continues his service to the Sages for the glory of The Most.