UC Counselor Conference 2010

The Personal Statement:

Strategies for Supporting
Students

Overview
Purpose of statement in UC admissions

Necessary information and skills

for a strong personal statement

Understanding the task
Preparing students to write

Providing useful feedback

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Purpose of the
Personal Statement

Purpose of the Personal Statement

Part of UCs comprehensive review

process
Opportunity to provide information that

supports and augments the review

process
Enables applicant to make the best case

possible for admission

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Purpose of the Personal Statement

Adds clarity, depth and meaning to

information collected in other parts of the

UC application
Completes the application for admission
An admission decision will never be based

on the content of a personal statement

alone
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A Message from UC Faculty

While it is acceptable to receive feedback

or helpful suggestions, applicants

personal statements should reflect their
own ideas and be written by them alone

Understanding the Task

The Instructions
Three rationale statements and

questions (prompts)
Your World
Potential to contribute

Word limits
Two Responses: 1000 word maximum
Recommended minimum of 350 words

The Prompts
Rationale statement: provides context

for the response

Question: provides direction of the response
(Rationale statement available only for Prompt #2

Prompt #1
Question:
[Freshman Applicants] Describe the world you come

from for example, your family, community or school

and tell us how your world has shaped your
dreams and aspirations.

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Potential to Contribute (#2)

Rationale:
The University welcomes the contributions

and experience each student brings to the

campus learning community. This question
seeks to determine an applicants academic
or creative interests and potential to
contribute to the vitality of the University.

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Potential to Contribute (#2)

Question:
Tell us about a personal quality,

talent, accomplishment, contribution

or experience that is important to you.
What about this quality or
accomplishment makes you proud
and how does it relate to the person
you are?
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Preparing Students to Write

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Necessary Skills
Think critically: even though students will

be writing about themselves, they need to

step back and look at their experiences
from the outside
Write analytically: writing analytically

means answering why?

Follow a writing process: brainstorming,

drafting, feedback, revising, proofreading

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Important Strategies
Think like an admissions reader
Choose the extended prompt strategically
Know the difference between a short-

answer response and an extended

response

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You Can Help Students

Understand the role of the personal statement in

the admissions process

Recognize the relationship between reader and

writer
Understand the reading and writing tasks of the

personal statement
Use a writing process
Obtain appropriate feedback
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Before Writing, Students Should

Prepare a writing timeline

Complete the UC application

Use the Levels of Questions strategy for

the application
Determine the extended-response

question

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Why ask questions of the application?

Important to think critically about the

applications content
Helps students recognize personal and

academic experiences as worthy of reflection

and analysis
Connects the issues raised by the application

to the responses provided in the personal

statement
Helps students fulfill the reader/writer pact
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The Reader-Writer Relationship

When readers read critically (as admissions

readers will do), they are asking questions, making
observations and constructing interpretations of the
information they are reading.

A writer fulfills the pact with the reader by

addressing these questions, observations and
interpretations in the personal statement. Students
can anticipate many of these questions,
observations and interpretations by becoming
critical readers of their own completed applications.
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Levels of Questions Strategy

Level one: What

does it say?
Level two: What does

it mean?
Level three:

Why/how does it
matter?

Answers to L1

questions provide
details in paragraphs
Answers to L2

questions are topic

sentences of
paragraphs
Answers to L3

questions are thesis

statements of essays
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From Prompt to Topic to Thesis

Understand the key terms in the rationale

statement and question

Students should know their own questions

and possible questions readers may raise

Develop a topic the subject area that

will be discussed in the response

Draft a thesis a point of view on the topic

that addresses why

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Question/Topic/Thesis Example
Our question: How have you taken
advantage of the educational
opportunities you have had to prepare
for college?
Your topic: The role of Pre-College
Academy in academic preparation
Your thesis: Asserts why and
how PCA was a significant
preparation experience
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Determine Response Topics

What topic will each response focus on?
One topic per prompt!

Is this topic the most persuasive? Does it

answer the most pressing questions related to

this prompt?
The prompt with the most questions associated

with it should be the extended response.

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Short-Answer Strategies

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Readers Want
Responses that get right to the point
Specific, concrete examples and language
Adherence to word restrictions
Responses that complete the application

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Tips for Short-Answer Reponses

Avoid irrelevant

background
information
Understand meaning

of key words

Make sure each

sentence advances
the argument
Avoid a collection of

facts or examples

Ensure that response

Use concrete details and

addresses what the

prompt asks for

make them clear, rich

and meaningful

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Extended-Response
Strategies

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Readers Want
Organization and clarity, provided by a

persuasive thesis, analytical topic

sentences, well-chosen examples
A response that supports and completes

by clarifying and contextualizing the

information in the application

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Thesis Statements
Concession (optional)

The but to the yes

Although

Assertion

The argument
This

Reasons

The synthesis of

supporting points
Because

Significance

The so what of the

argument; implications
As a result
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Sample Thesis Prompt 2 (Extended)

Although I do not plan to major in veterinary
science, my experiences raising and caring for
animals have helped me understand how
important animals are to human well-being.
Because I have seen the result of human
disregard for other forms of life, I am better able
to appreciate the importance of ethical treatment
for all. As a result, I will be able to contribute my
knowledge of animal preservation and my skill
as an organizer to the campus environment.
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Writing Process
Brainstorm using levels of questions

Draft
Get feedback give readers at least a

week to respond
Revise for organization, clarity and

meaning
Proofread
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How to Give Feedback to Students

Request the application and the personal

statement, not just the statement

Ask students to provide you with a list of

questions they would like you to answer

Comment on ideas and the level of

persuasiveness, not grammar

Help students find readers who resemble

their target audience

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Additional Resources for Students

Online UC Personal Statement Tutorial for

Students at www.ucgateways.org
Six lessons that guide students through

brainstorming, drafting, getting feedback and

revising
Activities to help students start early and stay

on task
Developed by EAOP admissions preparation

specialists
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