London Tests of English

WRITING:
How can we help our students?

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How do your students

feel about writing?

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London Tests of English

Charlie Browns Summer Essay.

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Why do students feel like that?

...they have no reason to write
...they do not know how to go about it!

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London Tests of English

Writing Task Section 8

WRITE AN E-MAIL TO A FRIEND ABOUT PORTFOLIO CAREERS
YOU SHOULD INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:
the advantages of a portfolio career
the disadvantages of a portfolio career and
how you think your friend could succeed

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Step 1: Brainstorming
How many ideas can you think for and against a portfolio career?

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London Tests of English

Step 1: Brainstorming
How many ideas can you think for and against a portfolio career?
FOR

AGAINST

you cannot lose your job

loneliness

flexibility

you cannot learn from others

no boss

there is not much work

you learn more things

there is no career structure

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London Tests of English

W: Level 3 Section 8

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 3: Coherence
There is clearly a problem with cohesion here which in turn
affects coherence. How can we add or change some
connectors so that the text hangs together?

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London Tests of English

W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 4: Topic Sentences

Four main ideas are expressed in this text, but are they
expressed well? Can we do better?

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W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 5: Development
Expressing an idea is not enough; you also have to flesh it out.
Look at paragraph 6. How can we support this point?

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London Tests of English

W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 5: Development
Paragraph 6: Often isolated/cut off
+ normal job: colleagues / feel: team
+ part-time jobs: work alone / from home

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Step 6: Editing
You may not have noticed it, but the text does contain some
mistakes! How can we correct them?

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London Tests of English

W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 7: Rephrasing
Sometimes sticking to the text is constraining. Instead it is better
to rewrite a whole sentence/paragraph. How can we do this
in paragraph 4?

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London Tests of English

W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 8: Language Enrichment

Accuracy is one thing but range is another! How can we improve
this aspect of paragraph 3?

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London Tests of English

W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 8: Language Enrichment

Here is the paragraph in question:
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and
interests. You can with portfolio career have experience from many job.

And here are some words/expressions one could use:

what you like best / discover your strengths / steady job / gain experience /
develop skills / acquire knowledge / flexible / a changing world / in case you
decide / alternative / routine / switch to another career

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London Tests of English

Step 9: The Beginning

Some sort of personal remark is needed here as the introduction
appears a bit too blunt.

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London Tests of English

W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

Step 10: The Ending

This is hardly the best way to close an e-mail. What would be
more appropriate?

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W: Level 3 Section 9

Dear Kate,
Thanks for your e-mail. I just read your e-mail. So I am writing to tell about portfolio career.
Firstly I would like to tell you about advantages of portfolio career.
Portfolio career is good because with it you have very options, skills and interests. You can
with portfolio career have experience from many job.
Also you havent full time job. So you are more convenient and freedom. You can plan your
time more.
But, the portfolio career has some disadvantages. The people are temporary workers and
they havent work.
A bad thing about portfolio careers is also that you may feel alone at home.
I suggest you to bring a full-time work and forget portfolio career. If you work with full-time
work, you work more.
Bye.
Denise [129]

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London Tests of English

To sum up How can we make

Writing easier for our students?
Give them a scaffolding so they do not start from scratch
Get them to improve the text bit-by-bit

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London Tests of English

A better version

Dear Kate,
Thank you for your e-mail.. It was nice to hear from you. As for the portfolio career, I believe you should
think carefully about it.
It is true that it has some advantages, like the fact that you learn many things. You do not have to follow
the same routine every day and you can develop different skills and gain useful experience.
In addition you can plan your time better. Very often you work from home so you can choose when to do
things. If some work is inconvenient you may even choose not to take it.
On the other hand, a portfolio career is unpredictable. Sometimes you may have too much work and at
other times you may have nothing. So it is difficult to make plans.
Another problem is that you may sometimes feel lonely. In a full-time job you have colleagues who can
become your friends, while in a portfolio career you may work from home and meet very few people.
On the whole, I would advise you to look for a proper job - I think it is better for someone like you.
I hope I have helped you. I look forward to hear what you decide.
Love,
Denise

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London Tests of English

Hope you found it useful

Any questions / comments?
Just contact: NICK

6932123166 /
nickmi@ath.forthnet.gr

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