On becoming a mediator

THE ONLINE PROGRAM

MODULE 3

P R E S E N T E D BY :

The learning objectives

Preparing yourself and your co-mediators

Creating the space
Your opening remarks
Orient the participants to the process
Listen to each perspective: create the environment for
communications and dialogue

Preparing yourself & comediators

How does one prepare for mediation?

Here are some initial steps to consider before beginning the
mediation process:
http://prezi.com/v2kel93augtr/the-mediation-session-part-1

Minimize all forms of stress

Review notes and information
Allow enough time for early setup
Coordinate in advance with external resources
Confer with your co-mediators
When working as a team prepare enough to genuinely use
"we"

Strategize with comediators

What to discuss: pace, style, philosophy, & models
Who is going to take the lead?
Are there signals you can use to switch mediators?
When is it okay to consult openly?
When do you need to discuss privately?

Preparation is one key to

success
Fr o m t h e C i v i l M e d i a t i o n
Council:
Know your case: Check to make sure you have all
the information you need
Know the facts: There should not be any surprises
Know the contested and legal issues: Be prepared
to discuss them all
Know the strengths and weaknesses of both sides
of the issue
http://www.icaew.com/~/media/Files/About-ICAEW/What-we-do/resolving-disput
es/mediation-the-key-to-resolving-dispute.pdf

Setting up the room

The mediation space is very important. It needs to be inviting,
comfortable, somewhat formal, accessible, practical, and
private. Which of these do you prefer?

Become familiar with the

space
The space is integral to the mediation process. The room needs to
be pleasant, comfortable, and appropriate to the process.
What can the mediator do?
ARRIVE EARLY: This is especially important if youve never seen the
space in person. There may be someone on staff who helps to
facilitate the use of the space. Check in with them.
Take time for this: Find the elevators, exits, and bathrooms.

Organize the room

Set up the furniture and flip chart

Clear away extra chairs
Set up a pitcher of water and glasses
Organize all materials: packets for
participants & mediators notes
Prepare a waiting area for separate
conversations

Great Tip:
enlisting

Ease tensions between participants by

their help to set up the room.

Seat yourself and the participants

The way people are arranged in a mediation room is another
important step. These tips will help you with the task:
Everyone
can see
everyone
else, the
board & the
flip chart

Members of
one party
can sit
together

Seating
suggests
mediator
impartiality

If theres a history of intimidation or

violence, there should be a table
between the parties

Can you create a positive

environment?
Which of these rooms appeal to you?

The opening summary setting a

tone
The opening summary sets the tone for the mediation, and the
expectations.
A welcome and a warm-up
The logistics of the process
Orienting everyone to the process
Ensuring everyones interest in participating

What to say & how to

say it
Here are two sample openings for a mediation. Read the documents
and then give some thought to these questions:
http://sanantoniofeb.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Mediators-Model-Opening-Statement.pdf
http://www.adr.af.mil/shared/media/document/AFD-070212-051.pdf

1. Do either of these appeal to you? Give some thought to your reaction to

them.
2. Does one seem more appealing than the other if so, why?
3. Does anything seem missing to you?
4. Do either one of these seem like an opening you would use as a mediator?
5. Do you feel that either one is an effective opening for a mediation session?

The opening and your

participants
Your opening comments will undoubtedly be taken very seriously by the
participants. They will also have some unspoken questions such as
these:

Will the mediator really listen to me?

Whats going to happen, and how am I supposed to
participate?
Will I be forced to give in?
What good is this? Can this mediator really help me?
anything?

Can this person really make those people believe

Greeting the
participants
Greet all participants by name
Refrain from small talk or
chatting
Confirm everyones name
again, including the mediators
Thank everyone for their
willingness to participate and
show up
If one party doesnt show, do not discuss
any

Take Note:

substantive issues with the other party

Warming up
How to begin? Start off with an easy question; ask the
participants something about themselves. The
question should be a non-contentious issue, and
nothing to do with the actual issues at hand.
Why? This will give you a sense of the participants.
What to do? Avoid allowing participants to slip into the
conflict. If either side suggests they dont want to be
there, let them know that it is voluntary. Gently
suggest they give it a try.

Opening
checklist

Overall goal for the mediation

Mediator role and confidentiality
Participant role and confidentiality
Breaks
Separate conversations
Willingness to proceed

Logistics of a
session
Remind everyone of the time frame for the session
If either side balks at the length, suggest a check-in after a few
hours to see how you have progressed
Ask everyone to turn off their cellphones, or other devices
Give information on facilities (i.e. bathrooms)
Take time to sign all necessary forms

Orienting everyone to the

process
The first step is to
expectations of

confirm the understanding of the process, and

both sides.

EXAMPLE:
Its my understanding that youre here today because you want to
clear the air, and outline each persons roles and responsibilities
more specifically. Is that right?

Explain mediator confidentiality

These are the aspects of mediator confidentiality that should be
explained to the participants.

All information will be kept confidential including terms of the

agreement

Notes and records are confidential; explain what is kept and

discarded

Required reports: information given to referral source and the courts

Mandatory reporting: anything that must be reported, such as abuse

Explain policy of not testifying, or providing mediation documents

should the case be litigated

Openings for the participants

Each participant speaks about their own
hopes and concerns
Each participant decides whats important
for them
The mediator(s) listens for whats new and
important
The mediator(s) note ideas that could make
things better
Review when and how attorneys and
interpreters may take part
Share all required information

Before going forward

A few additional items to check off your list:
Remind participants that there will be no recordings or
photographs of any kind.
Sketch out the process, remind them of confidentiality.
Let everyone know that breaks can be arranged at any time.
Be open to adjusting to the process.
Ask if everyone is ready to move forward.

Listening to each
perspective

A few guidelines:
Explain how the go-round works
Ask open-ended questions
Steer minimally, if at all
Be protective of peoples speaking times
Check, thank, and move on to next person

The go-round in mediation

One of the mediators responsibilities is to explain each step in the

process. Here is how to explain the go-round:
Each of you has a turn to speak
Save all questions, comments & responses for later. Write down
points you want to remember
Try to notice anything thats new to you
Ask and act as if everyone will respect the go-round
No need to set a time limit, unless there are over 4 participants

Ask open-ended questions

Ask who is willing to go first
Suggest participants to listen for anything new
Ask your questions in a tone that suggests you are truly listening
to the participants

How to steer
minimally
The mediator creates a mood conducive to participants when
they truly listen
Resist the urge to summarize and reflect until later
Let the words of the participants speak for themselves. No need
to improve upon them in any way

If a speaker goes off track

What can the mediator do in this situation?

Step in: Summarize,
they need to bring

then ask if they have covered all the issues

up.

Consider shorter go-rounds: Some people will have less of an

ability to summarize their situation, and/or feel the need to
explain every detail. Shorter time frames can help.
Give a few prompts: These should be short and to the point.
Can you say a bit about the impact this has had on you?

Protect peoples speaking

time
If anyone is having trouble listening, then
quietly ask them to hold back.
Use a warm, respectful tone and remind
them it can be awkward to be asked to
listen.
Suggest the participant speak to you rather
than the other participant.
Cope with the awkwardness. Some people
will have trouble listening no matter what.
Focus on the speaker.
Proceed with the engagement, if it feels
appropriate.
If a good flow exists, its time to move
forward.

LETS GET INTERACTIVE

Pick 4 steps on the preparation process and explain why
and how they are crucial to preparing for a mediation
session.

EXERCISE 2
During mediation, participants often have unspoken concerns. One of
them is; how do I know the mediator will really listen to me? How can
the mediator demonstrate they are truly listening to all participants?
State at least 5 key points.

EXERCISE 3
Name at least 3 specific strategies the mediator can try
if one of the participants suggests they dont want to
stay.

EXERCISE 4
Explain the purpose and process of the go-round.

EXERCISE 5
Name at least 5 specific steps the mediator takes to
ensure the right space/environment exists for the
mediation session.

EXERCISE 6
Pick one strategy you would use if a participant goes off
track in a session. State why you would choose this
strategy, and how you would use it.

A LITTLE HUMOUR

End Of Module

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