GSSE: Scientific Writing 1

Scientific Language
and Readerships

Robert Blake

1
Outline of Session 1: Scientific Language & Readerships

• Characteristics of scientific style and

readerships-task analysis of texts

• Choosing an appropriate writing style-

comparison of 2 versions reporting findings

• Ways of developing an impersonal scientific

style

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 1. Scientific Language and Readerships- Introduction

What are your expectations as scientists when

reading texts about science in an academic

setting?

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 1 Scientific language and readerships-

What are the characteristics of scientific/

technical writing in university settings? e.g.

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 Task: Analysing scientific writing

To fully answer these question using data- we’ll

look at several excerpts, all written about
scientific topics. We’ll do this in 2 stages
Stage 1: look at each excerpt [Handout]
• Is it acceptable as scientific or technical
writing in an academic setting?
•Can you identify the source or type of source
and the readership addressed?

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 ANALYSIS OF THE 6 EXCERPTS *

PASSAGE ACCEPTABLE AS SCIENTIFIC WRITING IN AN ACADEMIC SOURCE

SETTING + REASON WHY/WHY NOT

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6
 Analysing scientific writing: excerpt 1
Human breast tumours are diverse in their natural history and in their
responsiveness to treatments. Variation in transcriptional programs accounts for
much of the biological diversity of human cells and tumours. In each cell, signal
transduction and regulatory systems transduce information from the cell's
identity to its environmental status, thereby controlling the level of expression of
every gene in the genome. Here we have characterized variation in gene
expression patterns in a set of 65 surgical specimens of human breast tumours
from 42 different individuals, using complementary DNA microarrays representing
8,102 human genes. These patterns provided a distinctive molecular portrait of
each tumour. Twenty of the tumours were sampled twice, before and after a 16-
week course of doxorubicin chemotherapy, and two tumours were paired with a
lymph node metastasis from the same patient. Gene expression patterns in two
tumour samples from the same individual were almost always more similar to
each other than either was to any other sample. Sets of co-expressed genes were
identified for which variation in messenger RNA levels could be related to
specific features of physiological variation. The tumours could be classified into
subtypes distinguished by pervasive differences in their gene expression patterns.
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 Analysing scientific writing: excerpt 2

Firstly what is AIDS? Acquired Immune deficiency Syndrome is label given

to the conditions that arise from the breakdown of our immune systems
caused by the infection of human Deficiency Virus [HIV].
 

HIV viruses are found in most body fluids, so this is where the danger of
infection arises, almost any exchange will transfer some HIV virus. It is
because of this that one of the first groups to be hit were haemophiliacs
who receive factor VIII contaminated with HIV. In France 1500 were
infected with HIV this way an 256 of them have died of AIDS so far.

Because in the western world AIDS began as predominantly as a disease of

the homosexual and drug using communities it was here that the first
social changes could be seen. Information on drug use and its link with the
transmission of HIV became easily available and needle exchange schemes
began springing up in certain countries. This was greeted with .... 8
 Analysing scientific writing: excerpt 3
On the basis of our findings, it appears that ibuprofen is as effective as indomethacin
in promoting ductal closure in premature infants. The rate of closure in the group
assigned to indomethacin was similar to rates previously reported. In 15 of 21 infants
with birth weights of less than 1750 g (71 percent) (30) and in 87 of 113 infants with
similar gestational ages and birth weights (77 percent), (5) a hemodynamically
important patent ductus arteriosus disappeared after indomethacin treatment at the
age of two to seven days. More recently, a hemodynamically important ductus
arteriosus was closed after prophylactic treatment with indomethacin in 22 of 31
preterm infants (71 percent). (31) Although we observed differences in the overall
rate of ductal closure among the centers participating in our study, the efficacy of the
two drugs remained similar in each of the centers.
Ibuprofen has been shown to constrict the ductus arteriosus effectively in lambs. (11)
Earlier, smaller studies suggested that ibuprofen might be…… [3 paragraphs omitted]
A limitation of our trial is the relatively small number of patients, which limited the
power of the study to detect significant differences in other clinical effects that we
observed -- notably, those related to outcomes such as necrotizing enterocolitis,
isolated bowel perforation, intraventricular hemorrhage, and periventricular
leukomalacia. For the same reason, small differences in the efficacy of the drugs
according to gestational age may not have become apparent.
In summary, our data indicate that ibuprofen is as effective as indomethacin in
promoting ductal closure on the third day of life in premature infants. However,
ibuprofen is associated with significantly less impairment of renal function. No
significant differences with regard to other side effects were observed. A lower
gestational age (less than or equal to 26 weeks), antenatal indomethacin use, receipt
of high-frequency oscillatory ventilation, and an elevated pulmonary-­artery pressure
increased the risk of treatment failure. 9
 Analysing scientific writing: excerpt 4
SPIDERS may hold the key to colonising space, say Australian scientists. They are
blasting eight into space to see if their web-weaving skills can be used to help
design huge new space stations.
Orbiting "tin cans" like Mir and the new ISS can accommodate only a dozen
astronauts.
The scientists believe that the Australian orb weaver, which spins an almost
perfect symmetrical web with silk tougher than steel, can teach man "spider
technology" to use in constructing space stations miles wide and big enough to
house thousands.
The boffins at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology will monitor the
spiders during their 16-day space mission to see how they spin webs in a
weightless environment.
Space stations at present have to be constructed on Earth and flown up. This has
limited their size. It is hoped the spiders will show how they can be built in
space. The creatures - all female because they are more conscientious builders -
will blast off on NASA's space shuttle Columbia next February.
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 Analysing scientific writing: excerpt 5
AS A SPECIES, Cambridge physicists are not renowned for being excitable. Popular
imagery has them leading solitary existences in small, stuffy rooms, where they ponder
the finer points of life, the Universe and everything. For relaxation, there are the mugs
of stewed tea, over which endless debates take place about the number of currants in
the canteen buns.
 

But in the spring of 1989, the occupants of Cambridge University's Cavendish Laboratory
were jolted from their deep deliberations on both cosmos and currants. The atmosphere
glowed with speculation about a trio of researchers who had been spotted in hushed
conversation. Rumours abounded of secret experiments, and there were ever-so-slightly
envious whispers about the "P" word - patent. Something extraordinary seemed to have
happened, and the question on everyone's lips was - what have they found?
 

At face value, something unremarkable. By chance, Jeremy Burroughes, Donal Bradley

(now at the University of Sheffield) and Richard Friend had discovered that if you
slapped a voltage across an ultrathin film of an exotic plastic known as poly(p-phenylene
vinylene), or PPV, it glowed a pale yellow-green. "I was about six feet away, facing in
the other direction, when I noticed this bright green light in the corner of my eye,"
recalls Burroughes. "It was just pouring light out all over the place!“
So what was the big deal? After all, you can make almost anything glow with enough
volts, although you will probably fry it in the process. But this was no inadvertent
example…
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 Analysing scientific writing: excerpt 6

6.7 Summary
At the end of this chapter the following conclusions are made.
·       It is possible to construct trellis structures to meet the
requirements in a quasi-synchronous adder
channel. These trellises are modified versions of the synchronous cases
and have improved the reliability of composite codewords.
·       A price paid for the improvement of the individual user is a
reduction in the sum rate.
In an M-choose T scenario, the identification process based on metric
accumulation is shown to be reliable when using the modified decoders
catering for each quasi-synchronous set

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 ANALYSIS OF THE 6 EXCERPTS**
PASSAGE ACCEPTABLE AS SCIENTIFIC WRITING IN AN SOURCE
ACADEMIC SETTING + REASON WHY/WHY NOT

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 Analysing scientific writing: 2nd task
Using the passages that you judge to be acceptable in
academic scientific writing and, perhaps those passages
that are for contrast, can you now identify some of the
characteristics of scientific writing? Use the following
headings & table in slide 18
•  organisation
• style
• vocabulary and grammar
• visual presentation

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 CHARACTERISTICS OF SCIENTIFIC WRITING
ORGANISATION STYLE VOCABULARY &
GRAMMAR

GRAPHICAL PRESENTATION

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 Expectations Of Readership
• Precise
• Explicit
• Analytical and critical
• Explanatory
• Objective
• Impartial
• Concise
• Responsible [claims carefully made, supported where
possible & use of sources acknowledged]
• Follows established conventions
Above list adapted from Gillett [1999-2004] Features of academic writing UEFAP
http://www.uefap.co.uk/writing/writfram.htm

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 Organisation
• Structured for easy access to information e.g. headings
& sub-headings; cohesive links across sentences e.g.
however, The first measurement.
• Headings
• Use of forecasting and signposting
• Importance of introductions, conclusions and transitions
• Field specific patterns [e.g. IMRaD]
• Matrix or hierarchical structure structures to organise
ideas
• Cross referencing in longer texts
• Paragraphs well structured [begin with topic sentences]
etc
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 Style, Vocabulary & Grammar
FORMAL & OBJECTIVE STYLE
• 'I' or 'You‘ are avoided in most writing;
• Contracted verb forms avoided: can't, doesn’t: cannot, does not
• Formal rather than colloquial English; vague/imprecise words avoided:
stuff, things, loads, lots – materials, issues, significant number/ large
quantities
• Spoken negatives avoided: there are not many few; there is not much
little
• Attitudinal words are avoided in favour of objectivity: really, actually,
great, magnificently
• Word origin: Nouns & verbs with Latin/ Greek derivations are frequent. 2
part [phrasal] verbs- infrequent: look about, look into, look up, survey,
examine, consult 18
 Style, Vocabulary & Grammar
VOCABULARY CHOICE:
• Precise & often abstract vocabulary: issues, values, materials,
specification
GRAMMAR:
• Fairly densely packed with information [particularly nouns, noun
groups/ nominalisation]. Avoidance of direct questions and standard
negatives
• Common use but not overuse of passive: ‘Two specimens were then
selected ..’ rather than ‘I then selected 2 samples …..’
• Complex sentence structure [with more than 1 clause] to relate
ideas and improve flow of ideas.
• Modals are important in making carefully weighted claims: can,
may, might etc
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 Graphical Presentation

• Use of tables & figures to present information

clearly & economically

• Clear, self-explanatory figure legends [labelled];

axes clearly labelled with values clearly identified

• Tables & figures referred to in text, and meaning

and interpretation highlighted [data commentary]

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 Style, Grammar and Vocabulary In Scientific Writing
The use of personal pronouns, ‘I’ & particularly ‘you’, is rare in
scientific writing, where an objective or impersonal style is standard.
• Use of the passive is a common way to avoid using personal
pronouns. It’s discouraged in American academic writing, as the MS
Word grammar checker, if turned on, shows you. However, it’s
commonly used in British scientific writing.
• Overuse of the passive, can make writing heavy going for the reader.
Slides 25-8 show ways of writing in an objective or impersonal style.

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 Writing in an Impersonal Scientific Style: The Passive

Using the passive is a way of removing the subject [I, Andrew,

the Msc students] and prioritising the object e.g.

Several samples (object) were (verb- to be) + selected (past

participle)…. by me (object deleted)

This avoids the informal and subjective: I (subject) + selected

(verb) several samples (object)

Disadvantage: it can remove agency, making it unclear who

performed a particular action.

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 Writing in an Impersonal Scientific Style: The Passive
•X is demonstrated by
• Z are based on
• X is provided by
• X is used
• X was evaluated
• It is expected that …..
• It was found that
• It was concluded that
• It is widely held …
• To determine the effects of x,a series of measurements
was taken….
• An increase in the range of 60% is anticipated as a result
of y
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 Writing in an Impersonal Scientific Style- Modal Passives

Modals [e.g. can, could, may might, will, would] have an important effect
on varying the strength of a claim you are making about your data:

– It can/could be seen/observed/concluded that

– It can be suggested that

– It can be tentatively accepted that

– x can be characterised

– This can be done by/carried out by

– x can be done by/measured by

– This would suggest that

– Attention should be given to

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Writing in an Impersonal Scientific Style: Sentences with It/There

To avoid the passive, we can use impersonal constructions

starting with ‘It’ and ‘There’ e.g.
– It is essential to
– It is important to
– It is necessary to
– It may be possible to
– It may be necessary to
May reduces commitment
– There is general agreement that ….
– There are a number of reasons for
– There is a strong possibility that ….
– There seems to be
– There appears to be
Seems/appears- reduce the strength of the proposition
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 Writing in an Impersonal Scientific Style- Other Forms

By making the study/experiment/paper/report the subject

– This study shows

– This report gives
– Section 1 covers
– The results obtained…..
– The measurements obtained in this study/experiment
– The results section gives detailed data for …..
– The results of this experiment were inconclusive
– X allows y to
– One way of measuring the output of
– By measuring the interference from

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 Choosing a scientific writing style

Read the 2 passages in the next 2 slides.

Which scientist communicates more efffectively?

Give reasons for your choice using the headings below:
• style
• grammar
• structure [overall]
• sentence structure
• readability
Materials in slides 30-32 Adapted from Turk and Kirkman (1989:17-18) & materials by Ian Saunders
(2000) http://www.lancs.ac.uk/depts/celt/sldc/materials/science/writing.htm

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 Choosing a scientific writing style- Brown’s version

In the first experiment of the series using mice it was discovered that the
total removal of the adrenal glands effects reduction of aggressiveness
and that aggressiveness in adrenalectomized mice is restorable to the
level of intact mice by treatment with corticosterone. These results
point to the indispensability of the adrenals for the full expression of
aggression. Nevertheless, since adrenalectomy is followed by an increase
of adrenocorticotrophic hormone (ACTH), and since ACTH has been
reported [Brain 1972), to decrease the aggressiveness of intact mice, it is
possible that the effects of adrenalectomy on aggressiveness are a
function of the concurrent increased levels of ACTH. However high levels
of ACTH, in addition to causing increases in glucocorticoids (which
possibly accounts for the depression of aggression in intact mice by
ACTH), also result in decreased androgen levels. In view of the fact that
animals with low androgen levels are characterised by decreased
aggressiveness the possibility exists that adrenalectomy, rather than
affecting aggression directly, has the effect of reducing aggressiveness by
producing an ACTH- mediated condition of decreased androgen levels.

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 Choosing a scientific writing style- Smith’s version

The first experiment in our series with mice showed that total
removal of the adrenal glands reduces aggressiveness . Moreover,
when treated with corticosterone, mice that had their adrenals
taken out became as aggressive as intact animals again. These
findings suggest that adrenals are necessary for animals to show full
aggressiveness.
But the removal of adrenals raises the levels of adrenocorticotrophic
hormone (ACTH) and Brain 1972 found that ACTH lowers the
aggressiveness of intact mice. Thus the reduction of aggressiveness
after this operation might be due to the higher levels of ACTH which
accompany it.
However, high levels of ACTH have two effects. First, the levels of
glucocorticoids rise, which might account for Brian’s results. Second
the levels of androgen fall. Since animals with low levels of androgen
are less aggressive, it is possible that removal of the adrenals
reduces aggressiveness only indirectly: by raising the levels of ACTH
it causes androgen levels to drop.
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 Choosing a scientific writing style:

From a sample of 1580 scientists from academia & industry,

• almost 70% preferred Smith’s version as more: stimulating,
interesting, & credible
• 75% also considered Smith better organised
• Yet the order is the same as is the use of technical terms [5
undefined technical words (adrenal, androgen, corticosterone,
glucocorticoids and hormone)].
• The main difference is the use of ordinary language in Smith’s, fewer
unfamiliar words & ‘convoluted constructions’. Use of active rather
than the passive.
• Brown’s version is more taxing to read, with longer sentences [more
than 1 clause] & more formal grammar e.g. passive, more difficult
terms e.g. ‘adrenalectomized’
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 Further reading (+ = available for photocopying)
• *Successful scientific writing: a step-by-step guide for
biomedical scientists. 1996. Janice R. Matthews. Cambridge
University Press,
• *Writing Successfully in Science. Maeve O’Connor E & FN Spon
1991
• *Effective Writing: Improving Scientific, Technical and Business
Communication. (Second edition) Turk and Kirkman 1989
• Scientific Style and Format : The CBE Manual for Authors,
Editors, and Publishers. Style Manual Committee, Council of
Biology Editors. 6th ed. Cambridge University Press, 1994.
• Scientists Must Write by Robert Barras (2002). Aimed more at
postgraduate and professional scientists. It has some useful
checklists.
• The Craft of Scientific Writing (1995) Second edition) Michael
Alley. Springer
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 ANALYSIS OF THE 6 EXCERPTS
PASSAGE ACCEPTABLE AS SCIENTIFIC WRITING IN AN ACADEMIC SETTING + SOURCE
REASON WHY/WHY NOT
1 YES: Abstract with clear summary of IMRaD* structure; very Biomedical journal
formal; succinct/dense with much specialist vocabulary online

2 NO?: formal style; undeveloped introduction- too short, short undergrad LU essay
undeveloped paragraphs; clear argument; data/claims not
supported by references
3 YES: IMRaD structure. Follows typical pattern of Discussion Biomedical journal
sections; very formal; succinct, even dense with much specialist online
vocabulary. Well structured with v effective topic sentences;
claims cautiously expressed
4 NO : no underlying structure; no flow/cohesion, claims not Tabloid newspaper
identified, nor appropriately supported; narrative structure- e.g. Daily Mail

5 NO: narrative structure; direct speech- through quotation; not New Scientist
concise; very slow lead into topic; descriptive & informal article intro
language [many adjectives]
6 YES: succinct; formal style; specialist language; claims End of chapter
cautiously made summary in PhD
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