RUINED RELATIONS

ALCOHOLISM AFFECTS EVERYBODY NOT JUST THE DRINKER

By Benita Murinda,Leah O'Doherty,

Maria Mc Keever, Niamh O'Connor &
Verity Limond
 THEALCOHOLIC

I needed somethingto getme through the stressfuldays.

Itstartedwith twobottles, then moved to five. I was drinkingeveryday.My bossfoundoutandfired me.
I'm seeing a lot more of thekids but they are scared of me.Seandoesn'tknow I lost my job ,I dont have
an addiction.
Day after day there is an argument with the kids,theyare doingeverythingwrong,I need to put themin
their place. I am notviolent!
Then thepolice came,theysawwhattheysaid to be assault towardsmychildren
andtookSammyandErinaway from me.Thepolice saidI needto get help,they are wrong.
Sean foundout. He got a divorceand sole custody of the children and left me alone, I don't have a
problem,I'm fine!
Iam livingby myself now,with nojobI can barely pay rent. I get blackouts,not rememberingwhat
happened the day before.Iam notan alcoholic, Ido not needhelp.
ALCOHOLIC
Because of alcohol, Alison's health suffered, she
lost her job and she feels her children don't like
her.
CHILDREN
Alcoholism has affected Alison's children too
drinking has a knock-on effect on everyone in the
drinker's life, such as her children.
 THE ALCOHOLIC'S CHILDREN
Me and my little brother Sam havebeen living withour daddy for one month now
because there was something wrong with Mummy and she hurt me and Sammy.
Daddy has a very busy job and he works all the time so he didnt know there was
something wrong with Mummy.
At the start, Mummy would come home from work and make us dinner and a few
hours later she would be very mean to me and Sammy. She wouldnt help us with
our homework and she got very angry at us.
I was very sad because I thought Mummy hated me and I did not want her to hate
me.
I did not tell Daddy because I was scared he would get angry at me or Mummy.
After a while me and Sammy stopped talking to Mummy because we did not want
her to get angry at us and she only got angry at us when we talked to her.
We did not talk to Mummy during the day and only talked to Daddy when he got
home from work, but we did not tell him there was something wrong with Mummy.
 THE ALCOHOLIC'S CHILDREN II
After a few months Mummy started to get angry at me and Sammy for not talking to
her so she started shouting at us and throwing stuff at us.
It was very sore when she threw stuff at us and we had a lot of bruises and cuts but
we did not show Daddy.
One day we were helping Mummy bring the shopping inside and she hit Sammy
because he dropped a bag.
I started screaming because I did not want her to hurt Sammy.
I think our neighbour heard me screaming because she called the police and they
came to our house and took me and Sammy away from mummy and brought us to
daddy.
The police made me tell Daddy what had happened and he got very upset but wasnt
angry so I wasnt scared anymore to tell him everything else that happened.
Now me and Sammy live with Daddy and we are not allowed to see Mummy any
more but I dont want to see her in case she hurts me or Sammy again.
Daddy told me why Mummy was so mean but I still dont understand why she did it
and why she was so mean to me and Sammy.
CHILDREN
Alison has acted violently towards her children and
they are living under the shadow of domestic
abuse.
NEIGHBOUR
The alcoholic's family are not the only ones
affected.
Alison's next-door neighbour watched her problem
develop, and didnt know what to do about it.
 THE ALCHOLIC'S NEIGHBOUR

My next-door neighbour's family broke down slowly, over six months.

Alison started drinking in the morning, before work, and in the evening, before her
husband came home from work.
I heard her throwing bottle after bottle into the recycling bin, and trying to hide
them under other things.
I thought that when her husband Sean found out, she'd sort herself out.
But then she started abusingher children.
I was used to hearing the noisy arguments through the wall every evening, but one
day, there was a new sound.
Sam was crying and Erin was shouting at her mother.
It sounded like something had been thrown at the wall, like a book or a cup.
The next morning I saw Sam going to school with a plaster over his eye.
Whatever had hit my wall, had hit him as well.
 THE ALCOHOLIC'S NEIGHBOUR II

That should have been enough to send me to the police, but it wasn't until a week later
that I really opened my eyes to what was going on.
After seven days of hearing thuds and crashes from next door, which always stopped
when Sean came home, I saw Alison hit Sam in their front garden.
He dropped a shopping bag when helping to unload the car.
Alison saw the broken jars and bottles, and lashed out at him.
I realised she was drunk and that, as Sean was at work, the children were in danger.
I told the police I'd witnessed an assault and they came in time to see Alison slap Erin.
The Brennan's story is a very sad one, because Erin and Sam are traumatised for life
and Alison has refused to seek help.
NEIGHBOUR
An interaction with a drunk can be scary at any age,
would you like to live next door to one?
HUSBAND
Many alcoholics are good at hiding their drinking it
took Alison's husband six months to realise what
was going on.
 THE ALCHOLIC'S HUSBAND

Over the past six months, my family has been ruined.

My ex wife, Alison, was, or should I say is an alcoholic.
I was the only one who didnt know this, my children did, my wife did, and even our neighbour did.
I have a full time job, I own a business. This means I have to put in a lot of hours, early mornings and
late evenings. Alison had a part time job, and she drank after I left for work and before I came home.
It got very serious to the point that she lost her job. And of course, I did not notice.
The part that I regret the most is what she did to the kids. They were too scared to talk to me. I cant
believe that she would do that to her own children.
I found out because our kindneighbourreported herbehaviourto the police. I felt very ashamed that I
didnt notice and that it had to be our neighbour who reported this.
Now I live alone with my two children, with my business thriving more than ever.
Alison still lives in our old house, with no job, no family and no help. I dont ever want to hear from her
ever again.
 THE AFTERMATH

Alison's in a mess now she's lost her job, her

husband and her children.
Everyone was affected by Alison's drinking her
friends, her family and her employer.
 WHAT NEXT?

Alison's route to a better life leads towards

admitting that she has a problem and seeking help
for it.
Alcoholics Anonymous provides free, widely
available help for people with alcohol issues.
If you have a drinking problem, use the help that is
available and don't be like Alison!