Communication Skills

•Understand the importance of communication skills

•Learn about Perception and its effect on communication
•Know How to build your communication strategy according to the other
•Develop skills in listening actively and empathetically to others
•Enhance your ability to handle difficult situations
•Learn five of the secrets for getting along with others
•Understand some of the techniques you can use to persuade others to do
what you’d like them to do
Eliminate Barriers to effective communication
•Develop skills in asking questions that give you information you need
•Learn what your non-verbal messages are telling others
Table of Contents
Introduction to communication skills
Module 1: Importance of effective communication
Prepare for effective
Definition of communication
communication
Communication process
Intrapersonal communication(self awareness)
Interpersonal communication
Module 2: Perception and its effect on communication
Understanding
Dominant Social Style Test
people's psychology
The Social Styles Matrix
The use of Social Style Matrix
Module 3: Assertive communication (Win-Win communication)
Effective strategies for Egos in communication
communication
How to build your communication strategy according to the other?
listening Empathically
Questioning skills
Module 4:
Communication tactics Understanding and excelling in body language gestures and tone of voice
Written communication 7cs
Eliminate Barriers to effective communication
•The most important events start by communication
“ interactions fuels actions” John Maxwell
• 80% of your success depends on how you communicate with people, and
20% on how you are good at performing your job
• To keep your relations because it is wrong to take relationships for
granted

• People who know how to listen well and convey their message to others
are almost always more confident than people who haven’t learned these
skills.
• Learning to communicate effectively can also
prevent misunderstandings.
C reating a mutual understanding for meanings being sent
among human elements.
 Sender Message Receiver
Encoding Channel Decoding

Psycho
Physical Noise
logical

Lingual
Feedback Response
• Message
Feelings

Needs

Meaning

Message
 Assumptions/Expectations

• A ssumption is a relation
between cause and effect
Assumptions

Self Widely
cause claimed effect cause accepted effect
relation relation

• E xpectation is predicting the effect out of a certain cause

 Miscommunication and why it happens?

• Studying communication to avoid miscommunication is not negative

thinking it is proactive thinking.
• miscommunication happens when there is no alignment for meanings .
We don’t have to be mad to talk to yourself
“the most one should be comfortable with is yourself”
John Maxwell
 Self Awareness

Behavior

Attitude/Traits/Knowledge

Genetic Phase

psychic Phase

Ego Environmental Phase

Know You Attitude

SPOT OF
BEHAVIOR

BEHAVIOR

Attitude
 • Self-Concept is the self-perception or view you have of yourself. It is
the person you think you are, formed in your beliefs and attitudes. It is
influence by how others see you, how you were in your past, are today,
and would like to be in the future.
• Real self – your “core” self; who you • Intellectual self – who you are as a
really are. student and a learner; the part of you
• Perceived self – who you see yourself to that acquires and uses knowledge.
be. • Emotional self – the part of you that
• Ideal self – who you want to be now or processes feelings.
in the future. • Physical self – who you are
• Public self – the self you freely disclose physically; including the concept of your
to others or in public situations. own body, athletic ability, gracefulness
• Private self – the self you do not share and coordination, level of attractiveness,
with others; who you are in private. physical health and well being.
• Professional self – who you are in your • Artistic self – the part of you that is
job or profession. creative or artistic.
• Social self – who you are when you
interact with other individuals, groups, in
society or social situations.
 Factors that influence your self-concept:
• How you perceive that you are seen and treated by others.
• Your own expectations and the standards that you set for
yourself
• How you compare yourself to others
• Self-concept lays the foundation for your communication with
others one to one, in groups, or one-to-group.
 Building a positive self-concept…

• Can give you confidence you need to communicate effectively

• Must draw from your strengths
• Must know where you need to improve
• Set goals for change
• Self-fulfilling prophecy – a prediction or expectation of an event
that shapes your behavior, making the outcome more likely to
occur.
• It comes from your own self-concept and the expectations
you establish for yourself.
• It also come from what you think others expect of you.
• Self-disclosure – is the deliberate revelation of a significant
information about yourself that is not readily apparent to others.
It can be tricky because it can either be appropriate or
inappropriate for a particular time, place or circumstance.
• Must know what facts, opinions, or feelings are appropriate
to reveal under the circumstances.
• Consider the purpose of self-disclosure and your
communication goals.
 Known to self Not known to self

1 2

Known to Open Blind Known to

others It is called open because many
of a person’s behaviors,
motivations, feelings, likes and
dislikes are openly
communicated to others.
You are blind to what others others
perceive about you. Feedback can
make you aware of this
information, but you may or may
not decide to adapt or change.

3 4

Not
Hidden Unknown Not
Known to It represents the things you Things that neither you nor Known to
others know or believe about yourself others know or acknowledge. others
but that you do not choose to It could be subconscious fears
share with others. or things you do not
remember.

Known to self Not known to self

We used to judge people superficially based on their actions just like
everyone else does.

each weird action taken by a person can be understood

and can make a great sense if seen from a different
perspective
 Three steps involved in
Perception
• 1. Sensory perception – the physical process of taking in data
through the senses.
› How do you know when to go to school?
› How do you know if you need to wear a jacket?
• 2. Selective perception – the mental process of choosing which
data or stimuli to focus on from all that are available to you at
any given time.
› This means we have to make decisions on which things we
focus on or ignore.
 The following can influence you perception
choices:

• Intensity – the more intense or dramatic the stimulus, the more

likely we are to notice it.
• Example: someone screaming all of a sudden
• Repetition – the more we are bombarded with messages – the
more it sinks in and we believe it.
• Advertising messages
• Uniqueness – things that are new, unusual, unexpected & unique
are often noticed.
• Relevance – noticing things that mirror our own interests, needs
& motiviations.
 To manage selective perception you should:

• 1. Stay alert
• 2. Make conscious choices about what is important data.
• 3. Screen out distractions & noise that may interfere with
concentration.
• 4. Monitor the way you select data and improve your
weaknesses.
 Third step in perception process

• 3. Personal perception – your own understanding of reality. It

becomes the basis for your judgments and decisions you make. It
also determines appropriateness of your communication choices.
– How you talk or express yourself (dress, act, perform, etc.) are
choices you make based on your perceptions.
 Factors that influence personal perception
• Values – reflect your priorities and what you think is important.
• Beliefs – what one believes to be true that often helps you decide
what to accept or reject
• Culture – family, community, or organizations to which you belong
• Bias – consistent attitude, viewpoint or pattern of perception.
• Prejudice – preconceived judgment (to pre-judge on opinion rather
than facts)
• Attitudes – powerful influences that can be positive or negative.
• Expectations – basing a judgment on what is expected rather than
what actually happened.
• Knowledge – what you know influences how your organize &
interpret information.
• Communication skills – if you are lacking in part of the
communication process, you may have difficulty in understanding and
being understood.
 Analyzing Perceptions

• Two people in the same room can have completely different

perceptions of the same event. Varying perceptions can cause
conflict and misunderstandings. To overcome this you must
continually check your own perceptions and make sure they are
accurate.
 Perception check – are questions that help
you determine the accuracy and validity of
your perceptions.
• Key – Never assume that what you perceive as the truth is the
actual, absolute truth.
• Intrapersonal perception check:
• Question your sensory perception
• Question your selective perception
• Question you personal perception
• Interpersonal perception check:
• Clarify your perception of others messages.
• Analyze others’ points of view
• Take responsibility for your own communication.
 Perception
• Clear perception
• Big picture

Genetic
Phase

Psychic
phase + Situation = Perception

Environ
mental
phase
• Two dimensions of behavior can explain
and predict how people behave:

 Assertiveness ‫الحزم‬
 Responsiveness ‫الحساسية‬
• Assertiveness:
o Being forceful and directive.

o The extent a person can openly

expresses his rights.

• Assertive people:
o Move, talk & decide fast.

o Express their beliefs publicly.

o Speak out with strong statements.

o Confront difficult situations.

o They are proactive & like to win.

• Responsiveness:
o Showing emotions & display sensitivity
to other people.
o Concerned about human aspect of
issues.

• Responsive people:
o Express feelings openly.

o Appear more friendly.

o Use stories and tales.

o Enjoy working with people.

o Warm & have a sense of humor.

 1. Communication Wheel

• ZAK Activity 10min

Responsiveness
High
Amiable Expressive

Analytical Driver

Low High

Assertiveness
 Analytical
• Cautious in decisions
• Likes organization and
structure
• Asks specific questions
• Wants lots of data
• Works slowly and alone
• Good problem solving skills
• Conservative dress
• Achievements on wall
Driver
• Decisive/quick decisions
• Likes control; dislikes
inaction
• Prefers
freedom/independence
• Cool, calm, and competitive
• Low tolerance for warm-
fuzzy stuff
• Good administrative skills
• No posters or slogans on
wall
 Amiable
• Slow making decisions
• Likes close personal rel. and
contact
• Dislikes conflict
• Supportive/listens
• Low motivation
• Seeks security and
identification from groups
• Casual – flashy dress
• Pictures of family/friends
Expressive
• Spontaneous
• Exaggerates and generalizes
• Big dreamer/persuasive
• Jumps from task to task
• Works quickly and excitedly
with others
• Seeks esteem
• Motivational slogans
• Disorganized desk
1. Analytical: (↓ Assertive ↓ Responsive)
 Emotionally reserved, rarely get
excited
 Organized & attend to the small details
 They crave data – the more the better
 Systematically analyze facts
 Rarely compliment others
 Slow decision makers
 Communicating with the Analytical

1. Know their business thoroughly.

2. Go in with facts and evidence to back them up.
3. Use a logic-based, low-key style of presenting.
4. Emphasize tested, proven, well-documented features of your
product.
5. Use charts, graphs, written “leave-behind” documents
6. Point out the pros and cons of your product.
7. Be sure to provide a detailed summary of major points at
the close.
8. Avoid giving your opinion; they care about facts.
2. Amiable: (↓ Assertive ↑ Responsive)
 Friendly and generous with their time
 Excellent team players
 They are not showy but rather diligent
 They achieve goals by mutual respect
 They avoid conflict
 Communicating with the Amiable

1. You must convince them that you are authentic and

have their best interest at heart.
2. Spend some time relating/developing personal
relationship.
3. Plan to approach with as much personal information as
possible.
4. Avoid rigid or canned approaches.
5. Use empathy to show that you understand their
feelings.
6. Be open and candid; use first names.
7. Offer money-back guarantees and personal assurances.
8. Be prepared to provide references and case histories.
3. Expressive: (↑ Assertive ↑ Responsive)
 Friendly & empathetic
 Impulsive & outgoing
 Competitive, take risks & impatient
 Base their decisions on their personal
opinions and the opinions of others
 Communicating with Expressive

1. Play on their tendency to be visionaries and dreamers.

2. Plan to show them how they can personally win in addition
to the company benefit.
3. Ask open-ended questions that allow them to talk about
“their plans for growth.”
4. Use some showmanship. They like to see the yellow binder
but don’t really care about the details inside.
5. Use testimonials, especially from well-known people.
6. Never argue or back them into a corner.
7. Convey respect for their intelligence/foresight
4. Driver: (↑ Assertive ↓ Responsive)
 Decisive & task-oriented.
 Their slogan "let's get it done now &
get it done my way”
 They are not concerned about people
 They have a great desire to get ahead in
their career
 Communicating with the Driver

1. Don’t worry about trying to develop personal relationships.

2. Be brief and to the bottom line.
3. Move fast and isolate the most dollar-related benefits that can be
verified by concrete evidence
4. The fewer visual aids you use, the better.
5. Ask questions to allow them to talk and lead.
6. Will test you to see what you are made of; if you challenge them,
challenge the concept not the person.
7. Never try to bluff.
8. Present several alternatives from which they may choose their own
solution; do NOT tell them what is best.
 Self
Level 1 Actualizatio
n

Level 2 Self Esteem

Level 3 Affiliation

Level 4
Security

Level 5 Physiological

MASLOW’S HIERARCHY OF
NEEDS
0% 100%

Liberal Self Actualization

Degree of
Participative Self-Esteem
Authority
Exercised

Degree of
Diplomatic Employee Affiliation
Responsibility

Bureaucratic
Safety/Security

Autocratic
Physiological Needs
100% 0%

MASLOW’S HIERARCHY STYLES

OF LEADERSHIP
 The Henry A. Murray Model

• There are twenty social motivations that

affect an individual's behavior.

• From the twenty, three key motives

emerged:
1. Achievement
2. Power
3. Affiliation
 H. A. Murray Model, cont.

• Achievement is a need to excel against

both internal and external standards
• Power is a need to excel in the area of
personal persuasion
• Affiliation is a need for warm personal
relations. In other words, the relationship
is more important than the task.
 The Workplace And
Expectations

• It is the responsibility of
management to provide
a situation where need
expectations can be
achieved.
 Expectancy Theory

• Developed by Vroom, Porter and Lambert,

it focuses on three key factors:
1. Level of effort
2. Outcome
3. Value of effort to the individual.
 Expectancy Theory, cont.

• Level of effort - expectations about the

level of effort required to perform a task
• Outcome - expectations related to what
will result from the things they do
• Value of effort to the subordinates -
each individual places a value on his/her
efforts.
In summary, the Expectancy Theory
approaches motivation from the
individual's point of view.
 Motivation From The Work
Environment
Three factors which specifically awaken the
need for achievement:
1. Seeing results from effort
2. Being given feedback
3. Accomplishment
 Motivation, cont.

• Seeing Results: People maintain high

performance standards when they can
connect their effort with an end result.
• Feedback: People respond to
performance-related feedback which is
specific, constructive and timely.
• Accomplishment: People enjoy being
stretched. Accomplishment itself is a
powerful motivator.
 Passive, Aggressive, & Assertive Behavior
Comparisons
Passive Aggressive Assertive
You’re right. It I’m right. If you This is how I see
Message doesn’t matter don’t think the the situation.
what I think. It way I think, your This is what I
doesn’t matter wrong. Your think. This is
how I feel. feelings don’t what I feel.
count.
Avoid conflict. Get what you Communication
Goal want --- win. and mutual
respect.
Weak, hesitant Loud, haughty Firm, warm, well-
Means voice. voice, staccato modulated tone,
pace, demanding even pace.
or sarcastic
inflection.
 Averted, look down, Piercing, cold, Direct, open,
Eyes look away. stare down. frank.

Slumped, slouched Stiff, rigid, Relaxed, well-

Body posture, fidgeting, leaning-in balanced posture,
wringing hands, posture, hands on hands loosely at
head-nodding hips, finger sides, relaxed
excessively. pointed, clenched gestures.
hands, fist
pounding.
Lowered self- Maintain, build
Results respect. Pity or self-respect. May
anger from others. achieve desired
Needs not met. goals. Work on
Often feel hurt, real issues.
anxious-hoping Increase self-
someone will guess confidence.
what you want or Develop effective
mean. No progress relationships with
on real issues others.
 What is Your Assertive Response?

1. You’d like to be a member of the productivity improvement task force

just being formed by your manager.

Your assertive request:

2. One of your friends has just revealed in exasperation that you never
listen to any of her ideas.

Your assertive response:

3. Your manager has the habit of double-checking every set of figures you
submit, or everything you tell her.

Your assertive response:

 What is Your Assertive Response?

4. You’ve done an informal survey to find out what people in jobs similar to
yours are being paid. You discover your rate is about 15 percent lower
than the industry norm. You’ve asked to see your manager.

Your assertive response:

5. Your manager is discussing your salary with you. You’ve presented some
facts that indicate you are being underpaid compared to the industry
norm. Your manager has asked you what you think you are worth.

Your assertive response:

6. Choose a situation of your own, when you responded in a passive or

aggressive manner.

Describe the situation:

 Communication Rights and Responsibilities

RIGHTS RESPONSIBILITIES

1. You have the right to be treated 1. You have the responsibility to treat
with respect. others with respect.

2. You have the right to have and 2. You have the responsibility to listen to
express your own opinions. the opinions of others.

3. You have the right to ask for what 3. You have the responsibility to
you need and want in order to be acknowledge and address the needs
effective. of others.

4. You have the right to set 4. You have the responsibility to respect
reasonable limits. the limits and boundaries of others.
 Passive Assertive Aggressive

Extends but does Both exercises and Demands

not feel entitled extends “rights” but does not extend
to “rights;” accepts and responsibilities “rights;” does not
responsibilities accept
responsibilities

Assertive Communication:
Direct, Honest, Respectful
 Shift To Assertive Communicator
“An Assertive manager is not an Aggressive Manager and a Tolerant manager is
not a Passive manager”

Passive Assertive Aggressive

P Parent

A Adult

C Child
•Each Communication comes out of a certain P Parent
ego.
•There are three main egos for every A Adult

communication we make
C Child
How does it work?

P P

A A

C C
 Shift to Adult Communication

P P P P

A A A A

C C C C
 How to listen?

Listening

Humming…

Paraphrasing
 Listening
• We listen for three main reasons:
– Pleasure
– Information
– Safety/Security
• What makes a person a good listener?
– Calm
– Alert
– Open
– Interested
 Distractions From Good Listening
• Preconceptions about the subject or subordinate
• Talks too quickly or too slowly
• Lack of interest in the subject
• Prior knowledge of the subject
• Extraneous noise, activity or movement
• Day dreaming
• Comfortable
• Uncomfortable
• Presence of others
 Steps of listening

• Step one: listening not hearing

• Step two: following

• Step three: understanding

Feelings

• Step four: empathy Needs

Meaning

Message
 feedback

• Constructive
VS
• Destructive
 Answer
• First Panel: 1c, 2b, 3a, 4c
• Second Panel: 1b, 2a, 3c, 4a
• Third Panel: 1a, 2d, 3d, 4b
• Fourth: 1d, 2c, 3b, 4d
THE SKILLS OF CLARIFYING AND CONFIRMING
 Introduction

• Interactive listening

• What (content) the other person is saying

• Why (reasons) he or she is saying it

 Why Clarify And Confirm?

• Shows that value is placed on the

comment or suggestion made
• Demonstrates that you are prepared to
continue with the discussion
• Important when a decision must be made
or an action taken based on what you
have heard
Why Clarify And Confirm

Exercise
 When Is Clarification
Needed?
It is needed . . . to clarify . . .
• If what the subordinate has
said to you is unclear WHAT
• If the reason for the subordinate's
comment is unclear WHY
• If you need more information to
determine the critical point WHAT/WHY
 How To Clarify

• Use appropriate questioning techniques

to gather further information regarding:
– WHAT has been said, and/or

– WHY it has been said, or

– Asking for MORE information.

• Successful clarification often leads to

confirmation
 When Is Confirmation
Needed?
• When the message will lead to an action
being taken or a decision being made,
which is crucial or important
• When your first impulse is to ignore or
reject what you hear
 How To Confirm

• Use appropriate questioning techniques

to confirm your understanding
• Question should restate in your own
words what you have understood to have
been said
• Confirmation is complete only when the
subordinate agrees that what you have
said is accurate.
• Confirmation shows that you have
 Distractions From Good
Listening
• Preconceptions about the subject or
subordinate
• Talks too quickly or too slowly
• Lack of interest in the subject
• Prior knowledge of the subject
• Extraneous noise, activity or movement
• Day dreaming
• Comfortable
• Uncomfortable
 Day Two: “Communicating For
Results”

• Constructive Criticism

• Managing Conflict

• Decision-Making

• Giving Praise

• The Self Assessment

Process
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
 When And Why Give
Constructive Criticism
• Change in the performance or attitude
• Positive learning experience

Do not offer criticism until you confirm your

understanding of WHAT has been done or said
and WHY it has been done or said.
 How To Give Constructive
Criticism
• Present a balanced picture
– Specify the positives you want retained
– Specify the negatives you want eliminated
• As Managers
– Don't deal only with the negative;
– Discuss positives and negatives, strengths
and weaknesses;
– Don't make the individual "all wrong;”
– Don't make the group "all wrong."
 Instructive Activity 5min

Goal of the criticism is to build a

future action plan commitment
des.
That’s not what I asked for
I think you didn’t listen
YOU didn’t even meet my
expectations
That has been tried before
No one will accept this
Ins.
Where was the break down/
It looks like we wasn’t on the same
page
It appears I wasn’t clear about my
expectations
I’d like for you to get the report before
5
Do you know why we are doing that
procedure
 Retaining Positives,
Eliminating Negatives
• Having confirmed your understanding:
– Give a balanced picture
– State the positives and the negatives
– Generate ideas for retaining the positives
and eliminating the negatives
• If you:
– Ask for ideas, offer feedback
– Give ideas, ask for feedback
Always involve the representative or sales team as this
will enhance commitment to any actions decided upon.
 Positives
When painting the balanced picture, always
specify the positives first
• not focusing only the negative side
• listen to comments without adopting a
defensive stance
If it is difficult to find POSITIVES in the MR’s
performance, ask him what is meritorious about
his/her performance or ideas.
MANAGING CONFLICT
What Is Conflict?

LACK OF AGREEMENT
BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE
 When Does Conflict Exist?

• Cannot arrive at a
mutually acceptable
stance or position
• Needs, priorities or
attitudes are
incompatible with yours
 Defining The Gap

• Stating that which is

important to you and
why

• Clarify/confirm what
is important to the
other(s) and why
 Barriers To Eliminating The
Gap

• Time

• Restrictions or restraints
 Methods Of Eliminating The
Gap
Use DISCUSSION SKILLS to
explore ideas and find alternatives:
• Solicit the thoughts of the med
rep
• Ask for ideas; give feedback
• Draw a balanced picture
• Offer ideas of your own; accept
feedback
 TERMINATING THE
PROCESS
• Unable to consider the alternatives
suggested
• Unable to reach a mutually acceptable
position
• When agreement has been reached
– Summarize what has been discussed
– Summarize agreement and action steps
resulting from the discussion
GIVING PRAISE
 What Is Praise?

• The recognition of
performance that is
important to the Manager
• To be effective, give
feedback to the
subordinate specific to the
activity which is being
recognized.
• Accuracy is the key
WHO SHOULD RECEIVE
PRAISE?
 Whom Do You Praise?

When someone:
• performed at a level not
usually reached by that
individual
• performed constantly at
an acceptable level
• reaches a level of
excellence by comparison
 THE PRAISE STATEMENT

ACTION: Describe accurately the

activity deserving
recognition
ATTITUDE: Feed back assessment of
the personal qualities you
have recognized
ADVANTAGE:Describe the benefit which
accrues from the action or
activity performed.
 Stating The Action

Show the subordinate:

• the specific ACTION being recognized;
• that we have analyzed his/her work
activities;
• the merit of the specific ACTION being
recognized.
 Stating The Attitude

Show the representative:

• attitudes which you find valuable;
• that he has demonstrated a positive
ATTITUDE in his work;
• that the PRAISE is individual and
credible.
 Stating The Advantage
Show the representative:
• your reasons for valuing the ACTION
taken and the ATTITUDE displayed;
• that the PRAISE is credible and
meaningful;
• how the efforts contributed to the
success of the sales team or company
at large.
 Praise And Basic
Psychological Needs
• PRAISE is made even more effective
when it is related to the med rep’s basic
personality needs.
• Strive to find opportunities to relate the
PRAISE to the appropriate need.
RECOGNITION
AFFILIATION
SAFETY
ORDER
POWER
 Listening to Others

You spend most of your day communicating. Of that communication

time, half is spent listening.

Research shows that you only understand 50 percent of what you

hear. This lack of understanding is extremely costly.

The cost of not listening is staggering, but the truth is, we can all
learn to listen better, if we follow some key guidelines.
 Listening for Answers
We all experience common listening problems

• We let our attention wander.

• We miss the real point

• We let our emotions interfere.

• We “step on” the statements of the employee being

interviewed.

• We think ahead, and miss what’s being said right now.

To improve your listening skills, use the three steps of Active
Listening.

• Non-Verbal Messages: eye contact, an alert expression, head

nodding, and a forward lean to the body expresses listening.

• Cues or Invitations: these are the phrases like “uh-huh, O.K.,

Yes, go on, etc. that signal our attention and invite an individual
to continue talking.

• Clarification of what has been said: We can do this in one of

several ways—by asking questions, summarizing what has been
said, or paraphrasing the message in your own words.
 Guidelines for Effective Listening

• Convince yourself that listening doesn’t come naturally and that

you’re going to have to work at it.
• Begin with the attitude that everybody has something
important to say.
• Avoid judgement on either the content or the message or the
method of transmission. Prejudgement usually means a closed
mind.
• Examine your motives. Do you only listen when it helps you?
Try using what you hear to help the other person.
 Guidelines for Effective Listening

• Try to minimize distractions. If distractions can’t be avoided,

increase concentration with eye contact and concentration.
• Do something active. Sometimes this could be note-taking, but
other times you may just make mental notes of what has been
said.
• Ask questions. This requires that you formulate good
questions, and it gives feedback to the sender that you were
hearing and understanding.
• Try to summarize or restate what you have heard. Reflect back
the sender’s content and emotional tone. Check to see if you
understand what has been said.
 Questioning Techniques
There are two basic types of questions: Open and Closed

• Closed questions are those that can be answered by either “yes” or “no”
or with a specific bit of data

• Open questions, on the other hand, encourage people to talk

Other types of questions include:
• Extension questions
• Hypothetical questions
• Summary questions

Counter-productive questions are those that suggest the "right" answer, or

that confuse or mislead.
 OPEN
Who is in favour of the re-
organization?
What information did you get?
Where is the best place for the new
machine?
When did you first notice the
communication problem?
Why do you dislike the new
schedule?
CLOSED
Are most of the accounting people in
favour of the re-organization?
Have you got the information?
Is this the best place for the new
machine?
Has the communication problem
been bothering you for long?
Will the new schedule interfere with
your Baker project?
The Key to Soften the Hardest Heart

S Smile
O Open Posture
F Forward Lean
T Touch
E Eye Contact
N Nod
•Completeness Provide all necessary information. Answer all questions
asked. Give something extra, when desirable.
•Conciseness Eliminate wordy expressions. Include only relevant
material. Avoid unnecessary repetition.
•Consideration Focus on ‘you’ instead of ‘I’ or ‘we’. Show audience
benefit or interest in receiver. Emphasize positive ,pleasant facts.
•Concreteness Use specific facts and figures. Put actions in your verbs.
Choose vivid, image building words.
•Clarity Choose precise, concrete and familiar words. Construct effective
sentences, and paragraph.
•Courtesy Be sincerely tactful, thoughtful, and appreciative. Use
expressions that show respect. Choose non discriminatory expressions.
•Correctness Use the right level of language. Check accuracy of figures,
facts and words. Maintain acceptable writing mechanics.
 Communication Window
We see the world through many windows: These can
sometimes be a barrier to good communication. How?

Experience Emotions
Background Attitudes
Culture Subject Knowledge
Prejudice Mood
Wording Education
Noise Level Ambiguity
Perceptions Non-verbal message
Hearing difficulties
• What are some of the things we can do to help us communicate
better IN MY ORGANIZATION?

• Which of these things are physical and which of them are mental?

• Which of them must be a group effort, and which will require

individual effort?
Ten Commandments of Human Relations

1. SPEAK TO PEOPLE – there is nothing as nice as a cheerful

word of greeting.

2. SMILE AT PEOPLE – it takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to

smile.

3. CALL PEOPLE BY NAME – the sweetest music to anyone’s ears

is the sound of their own name.

4. BE FRIENDLY – and helpful – to make a friend, you have to be a

friend

5. BE CORDIAL – speak and act as if everything you do is a

genuine pleasure.
Ten Commandments of Human Relations

6. BE GENUINELY interested in people – you can like almost

anybody if you try.

7. BE GENEROUS - with praise – cautious with criticism.

8. BE CONSIDERATE with the feelings of others – there are

usually three sides to a controversy: yours, the other fellow’s,
and the right side.

9. BE ALERT to give service – what counts most in life is what we

do for others.

10. ADD TO THIS a good sense of humor, a big dose of patience

and a dash of humility and you will be rewarded many-fold.
Questions are used to:

• Get information
• Focus conversations
• Solicit opinions
• Gain consensus
 Probing
When you probe, you:

• get others involved and participating. Since probes are designed

to produce a response, it’s unlikely the other person will remain
passive.

• get important information on the table. People may not

volunteer information, or the information they present may not
be clear. Your probes help people open up, and present or clarify
their information.
 • force yourself to listen. Since probes are most effective in a
sequence, you have to listen to a person’s response.

When you use probes, you help improve communication on both sides
of the table.
 Types of Probes
There are five probes that help you draw out information and ideas
from candidates.

• open probes
• pauses
• reflective statements/echoes
• summary probes
• fact-finding questions, and
• closed questions
 Caution: Fact-finding Probes That Become
Leading

Be careful in using fact-finding probes. They can often turn into

leading questions - probes that clearly telegraph the answer you want.
The answer is built into, or implied by, the question, so they lead or
force the answer you want to hear.
The Communication Model

ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS
ENCOURAGE
ACKNOWLEDGE IDEAS
QUESTION
INFORM
DIRECT
CRITICIZE
 Exercise: Building Trust

• Share with the members of your group a recent incident when

someone – a parent, sibling, friend or co-worker – violated your
trust. How did you respond? Does the other person realize that
he/she has lost your trust?

• We have noted that trust serves as a foundation for self-

disclosure. When trust is absent, people are less apt to disclose
their thoughts and feelings. Brainstorm with your classmates
specific behaviors that tend to undermine your trust in others.
 Exercise: Building Trust

• Knowing that these behaviors erode your trust in others, what

will you do to help others trust you? Be Specific.
 Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal Communication Interpretation

Facial Expressions
Frown Displeasure, unhappiness
Smile Friendliness, happiness
Raised eyebrows Disbelief, amazement
Narrowed eyes Anger
Blushing Embarrassment

Eye Contact
Glancing Lack of interest
Steady Active listening, interest, seduction
 Hand Arm Gestures
Pointing finger Authority, displeasure, lecturing
Folded arms Not open to change, preparing to speak
Arms at side Open to suggestions, relaxed
Hands uplifted outward Disbelief, puzzlement, uncertainty

Body Postures
Fidgeting, doodling Boredom
Hands on hips Anger, defensiveness
Shrugging shoulders Indifference
Squared stance or shoulders Problem-solving, concern, listening
Biting lip, shifting, jingling money Nervousness
Sitting on edge of chair Listening, great concern
Slouching in chair Boredom, lack of interest

Clothing
Business dress Authoritative, conservative
Sloppy attire Disrespect, lack of responsibility
Casual clothes Relaxation
 Proxemics (Physical Space)
From physical contact to 18 inches Intimate space
From 18 inches to 4 feet Personal space
From 4 feet to 8 feet Social space
From 8 feet outward Public space

Voice Characteristics
Speaking loudly, quickly, and with clipped
Anger
enunciation
Monotone and downward inflection Boredom
High pitch, fast rate, loud volume, and
Joy
upward Inflection

Status Symbols
Rare or expensive possessions High status
Prestigious titles High status
 Voice: Qualities of a Good Voice

• Alert--awake and interested

• Pleasant--a smile in your voice
• Natural--straightforward language, without
jargon
• Enthusiastic--glad the person called, visited
• Distinct—easy to understand with moderate
volume and rate
• Expressive—well modulated, varied tone.