Congratulations!

You have been selected to provide fashion

input for the new European spin-off of the infamous
“Baywatch” television show. Simply click “Yes” for the
swimwear that meets your standards. Vote “No” for items that
you find unflattering, or inappropriate. Your votes will be
tallied electronically and transmitted to the Baywatch nerve
center in Pismo beach.

Begin Judging

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Yes, I approve.

No, I do not approve.

Yes, I Approve

No, use the same yellow one piece crap you’ve been showing us for years.
Yes, I Approve, if I
can see a close-up.

No, the earth’s

thinning ozone layer
and subsequent rise
in ultraviolet radiation
makes this suit just
plain unsafe.
Oh, yeah, if it were only see through.

No, I say bring back ankle length canvas.

Now you’re talking.

No, a burlap
produce sack was
good enough for my
Grandmother, it’s
good enough for late
night European TV.
Yes, I Approve, could I
see two women
together?

No, this smut isn’t

suitable even for the
French.
Yes, I approve, I understand topless is really big this year.

No, you know the Amish have a pretty bitchin’ line of

swimwear.
Yes, I Approve,
David Hasselhoff
won’t be wearing
one of these, will
he?

No, I don’t
approve. What’s
next, topless C-
SPAN?
Yes, I approve, are
they going to need
any thong fitting
technicians, or
lotion boys on this
show?

No, I’ve already got

my hands full writing
my Congressman
about the perversion
I see on the Spice
channel, now I gotta
watch this too?
Yes, I Approve, maybe a little too
much blue tint. No, whatever happened to basic black?
Yes, I Approve, but the real test of a spandex swimsuit is the snap
test, where do I go for that?
No, I’m sure there’s a passage in the Bible somewhere forbidding the oglization of a
woman’s sensuous, creamy skin.
Yes, I Approve, but
I’m still worried that
the world lycra
supply is critically
low.

No, Why do you

have to destroy
these women’s lives
to provide
entertainment?
Can’t you be more
like “Diffren’t
strokes”?
 Thank you for your input. Be sure to watch
“Baywatch Europe”. Previous surveys have already
determined that we will abandon any pretense that the
characters are actual working lifeguards. Filmed on
the French Riviera, there will be no rescues, the actors
will merely display emotions, jog, swim and fall in
love with each other. This will be the first television
show without dialogue, filmed entirely in slow
motion.

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