WHAT IS LISTENING?

 Ifyou ask a group of people to give

a one word description of listening,
some would say hearing.
BUT LISTENING…
 Is following and understanding the
sound---it is hearing with a purpose.
DEFINITION OF LISTENING
 The process of receiving, constructing
meaning from, and responding to
spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to
hear something with thoughtful
attention
 Listening
vs. Hearing
• Hearing- physical process; natural;
passive

• Listening- physical & mental process;

active; learned process; a skill

• Listening is hard!
You must choose to participate in the
process of listening.
Listening is a conscious activity
based on three basic skills:

1) Attitude
2) Attention
3) Adjustment
1)Attitude
Maintain a constructive Attitude

2)Attention
Strive to pay Attention

3)Adjustment
Cultivate a capacity for Adjustment
Empathy
What is it:
reflection of content and feeling at a
deeper level
Purpose:
To try and get an understanding of what
may be deeper feelings
HERE IS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW
EMPATHIC LISTENING DIFFERS
FROM THE OTHER TYPES OF
LISTENING…
A computer instructor explains with
enthusiasm how to use a new word
processing program
 Focuses on the Program

 She certainly enjoys teaching

this word processing program.
 I think she would enjoy teaching
any subject.
 She seems very impressed with
the usefulness of this new
version.
 Focuses on Person

 her feelings about teaching

 the importance to her of
teaching this particular
program
 her evaluation of the program
Empathizing

 Empathizing does not mean you need

to agree with your partner
 Empathizing does not mean you need
to give in to your partner
 Empathizing means you do not dismiss
what your partner says as ridiculous
or silly.
It is easy to know when you are
being empathic because:
 1. Your body language and tone match
 2. Your tone and your feelings match
 3. You are focused on what your partner
is saying and meaning.
 Listening is needed
everywhere…
 Listening skills form the
basis of:
 Continued learning
 Teamwork skills
 Management skills

Negotiation skills
 Emotional intelligence
… But not practiced effectively
 70% of all communication
is
 Misunderstood
 Misinterpreted
 Rejected
 Distorted
 Not heard
Listening is an active process
that has three basic steps.
1. Hearing
2. Understanding
3. Judging
 TYPES OF LISTENING
 1. Inactive listening.
 2. Selective listening.
 3. Active listening
 4. Reflective Listening
Active Listening
 WHAT IS ACTIVE
LISTENING?

 A way of listening and responding to another

person that improves mutual understanding.
 A way of paying attention to other people that
can make them feel that you are hearing them
 This type of listening is called active because it
requires certain behaviors of the listener.
WHY LISTEN
ACTIVELY?
 Our brain works four times the speed that someone
can speak. You have to actively focus on listening so
that your mind doesn’t wander.
 It enriches you and those around you, and guides
other areas of your life.
 It can build trust and respect between people, and
prevent misunderstandings that can lead to conflict,
frustration or hurt feelings.
 While listening to other people’s point of view, you
may just learn something new and fascinating!
 Do you know these?

 We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-

3000 wpm
 75% of the time we are distracted,
preoccupied or forgetful
 20% of the time, we remember what we
hear
 More than 35% of businesses think
listening is a top skill for success
 Less than 2% of people have had formal
education with listening
BENEFITS OF ACTIVE
LISTENING
 It forces people to listen attentively to others.
 It tends to open people up, to get them to say
more.
 Shows empathy
 Builds relationships
The Main Goals to Active
Listening
 Maximize your understanding of the
other’s perspective

 Minimize their defensiveness (and your

own, too)
KEY CONCEPTS OF ACTIVE
LISTENING
 1. Display involvement in what the person is saying
 2. Carefully observe the person speaking
 3. Resist distractions
 4. Try to stay focused on what is being said
 5. Ask for clarification of anything that you do not
fully understand
 6. Delay making judgments about what is said.
Active listeners speak 30% of the
time and listen 70% of the time.
Sometimes, we have to try hard not to
interrupt – the only acceptable reason
is to clarify or confirm what has been
said.
Why is active listening
difficult?
 When people are preoccupied with current
life stresses or difficult situations, it is hard
for them to listen.
 Anxiety can make it hard to listen.
 Being angry at the person who is talking also
makes it hard to listen.
 Having an idea in mind of what a person
“should do” makes it hard to listen to that
person's point of view.
 ACTIVE LISTENING BARRIERS

EXTERNAL BARRIERS INTERNAL BARRIERS

Internal Barriers Within

The Listener

InternalBarriers Within
The Speaker
 External Barriers
 noises
 clutter
 other interruptions
Internal Barriers Within the Listener
 Comparing
 Personal Experience
 Automatic Talking
 Mind-Reading
 Judging
 Day Dreaming
 Perceptual Errors
Barriers Within the Speaker
 Expectations
 Avoidance
 Speaking in Code
 Boundary
When to Use Active Listening
Inappropriate Appropriate
 Routine interactions  Organizational Crises
 Physical emergencies  Conflict situations
 Giving and receiving
feedback
 Brainstorming, problem
solving
 Seeking peers’
cooperation
STEPS OF ACTIVE LISTENING

1) Listen
2) Question
3) Reflect-Paraphrase
4) Agree
 Step 1: Listen

 To Feelings As Well As Words

 Words – Emotions -- Implications
 Focus on Speaker
 Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
 What Is Speaker Talking About?
 Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
 Look At Speaker
 Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers
 Opening door to good conversation
shows an interest…. But it must be
done sincerely, without judgment.
1) Verbal&non-verbal encourages

2) Non-verbal behavior
1 ) Encouragement

 Convey interest and Keep the person talking.

 Concentrate attention upon the speaker
 Don’t agree or disagree. Use noncommittal
words in a positive tone of voice.
 Repeat one or two words of the person's
previous statement.
 Be aware of your body language!
 Use varying voice intonations
 Use varying voice intonations

 “I see”
 “Right”
 “Uh huh”…
 “Okay”
 “Sure”
 “Yeah”
 “Yes”
 “Wow”
 “Really?”
2)Non-Verbal Behavior
Non-Verbal Active Listening Techniques:
 Maintaining appropriate eye contact
with the interviewee.
 Occasionally nodding affirmatively to
display understanding and interest.
 Using expectant pauses to indicate to
the interviewee that more is expected
The various forms of
NVC
 touch
 sound
 smell
 timing and speed of delivery of speech
 proximity
 posture
 dress
 eye contact
 gestures
 facial expressions
 use of silence
Communication through Eyes
 2.Question
 3 Purposes
 Demonstrates you are listening
 Gather information
 Clarification
When you asked some questions:
 Show interest
 Encourage more explanation
 Keep the person talking
 Ask questions but not too many
Types of Questions
1) YES/NO QUESTIONS
2) OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
3)PROBING OR FOLLOW-UP
QUESTIONS
4) LEADING QUESTIONS
1)YES/NO QUESTIONS(Closed
questions)
 Thistype of question involves
asking a question that requires only
a "YES" or "NO" response
2)OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS:

 Observation: "What happened?"

 Meaning: "What do you mean?"
 Affect: "How do you feel?"
 Motive: "What do you want?"
 Action: "What will you do?"
 3)PROBING/FOLLOW-UP
QUESTIONS
 Asking another question to clarify or obtain
further information about a interviewee’s
response.
4)LEADING QUESTIONS
 Phrased to indicate a preferred response
 Indicates the auditor asking the
question isn’t objective
Other Questioning Tips

 Avoid asking multiple questions at once.

 Generally, it’s best to start with open
questions
 Best questions are short, clear, objective.
 Ask questions in logical order.
 Allow for quiet, thinking time.
 Limit why-questions.
 Take notes.
Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
In that step we will use another
techniques for active listening;

1. Reflecting
2. Reframing
3. Paraphrasing
4. Acknowleding
5. Summarizing
1. REFLECTING
 Reflect What Is Said (In your words)
 Reflect Feelings
REFLECTING WHAT IS SAID
REFLECTING FEELINGS
 Someone may say: “Don’t worry. I’m fine”
(when she actually looks very upset)…
Reflecting, you say
 “You say you’re OK, but by the tone of your
voice, you seem upset, correct?”
 Act like a mirror and reflect feelings
that you see and hear. This is
particularly useful when the person’s
tone of voice or gestures don’t match
the person’s words.
OR just as a check…
“Seems like you had a fun time, right? OR
“I sense you’ve become worried. Is that
so?”
 2.REFRAMING
Why You Do It?
 to help the other person see their concerns in a new light
 to broaden the meaning of an issue to identify needs or
interests
 to diffuse negative feelings
 to establish the focus for resolution
How You Do It?
 recognize underlying needs
 re-word concerns from negative → neutral/positive past
→ future; problem → opportunity; interpersonal →
system rights/wrongs → impacts positions → interests
singular → multiple
REFRAMING(cont.)
 Concern: “She always talks to everyone
else but me when there is a problem.”

 Reframe: “It sounds as if you would like

more direct communication to resolve
concerns.”
 3.PARAPHASING
PARAPHRASE the speaker to
acknowledge the story and capture
the content.
EXAMPLE: “Let’s see if I got this right.
You’re upset because you think we’re
going off in the wrong direction and you
want to clarify our objective before we
write this assignment. Is that right”
CAUTION: Don’t parrot back; be sure to
put the message in your own words –
that’s active listening.
 4. ACKNOWLEDING
Problem
Solving Might
Not Work In the Problem
Face of Strong Solving
Feelings

Feelings May Need

Acknowledgement Problem
Before Effective Solving
Problem Solving
 5.SUMMARIZE
Why You Do It?
•to review progress
•to pull together important
ideas and information
•to establish a foundation for
further discussion
How You Do It?
•restate the central ideas and
feelings you have heard
Example: “Let’s see if I have a clear understanding of
your experience at this point…”
“So basically what is most important to you is…”
Step 4: Agree
 Get Speaker’s Consent to Your
Reframing
 Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
 Solution Is Near!
Remember that the objective of all of this
is increase understanding of the other’s
point of view, not necessarily to agree
with it or support it.
“A good listener tries to
understand thoroughly what
the other person is saying. In
the end he may disagree
sharply, but before he
disagrees, he wants to know
exactly what it is he is
disagreeing with.”
Kenneth A. WELLS
Are You a Good Listener?
 Do you frequently think of other things when others
are talking to you?
 Do you doodle, shuffle papers, look at the clock or out
the window, read the newspaper,or watch TV?
 Do you silently argue with the talker?
 Do you only selectively hear ideas that fit your
beliefs?
 Do you feel most people have little to talk about that is
interesting or important?
 Do you listen passively without any facial expressions?
 Do you frequently interrupt others as they are
speaking?
 Do you complete sentences or ideas for people when
they pause to think?
 Do you silently criticize characteristics of the speaker:
voice, looks, manner of speaking?
 Do you have to ask people to repeat what they said
 ACTIVE LISTENERS
1. Be there
2. Listen carefully to the person
3. Accept the person and his/her
feelings
4. Stay with the other person's point of
view without becoming that person
5. Trust the person enough to keep out
of it
 ACTIVE LISTENING
&NEGOTIATION

Active listening is important for

identifying and creating negotiating
goals, because listening helps to orient
the negotiator to the environment.
Because people do not learn much
while they are talking,
negotiators should attempt to
talk less than 50% of time.
In negotiation, there are FOUR major reasons to
listen:

1.To learn the other side’s proposals and

strengths;
2.To discover the needs of constituents and
teammates
3.To discern subtle position changes and
openings; and
4.To show other side that their proposals are
understood.
CONCLUSION
 Listening is a critical communication skill for
managers and consultants, as well as for all of us
in our personal lives.
 You can't negotiate effectively until you
understand what the other person wants.
 Active listening, is crucial to achieving your
ultimate communication objectives.
 Active listening is a skill that, like other
communication skills, must be developed .
 By practicing you can develop these skills.