Sexual Desire

- Sexual desire is
typically viewed as an
interest in sexual objects
or activities.
 Gender
Differences
1. Women experience
orgasms differently Place your screenshot here

than men.
2. Men seek sex more
avidly

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- Sexual desire is often
accompanied by physiological
sexual arousal, most notably
increased blood flow to the genitals.
Yet, this is not always the case.
Some individuals report feeling
sexual desire even when their
genitals show no signs of arousal,
whereas others show genital arousal
in the absence of psychological
feelings of desire.
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Need for physical safety
Pre-fontal Cortex

- The research has shown that

women’s sexual response is linked
to activity in the brain’s pre-frontal
cortex, which is crucial to judgment
and decision-making. Before a
woman’s arousal shifts to a sense
of desire, she must make a
determination that she is safe. 6
Need for Emotional Safety

“ - Attachment theory helps us

understand the need for emotional
safety in addition to physical safety
to initiate desire for most women. As
explained by Sue Johnson, each of
us needs a “safe haven” or secure
base from which to explore the
world (Johnson, 2013).
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 Desire and Secure
Attachment
- Sue Johnson assures
us that loss of desire Sue Johnson

among long-term couples

(who have ruled out the
physical threats noted Place your screenshot here

above) is not about

familiarity leading to
boredom (as often
assumed), but is about
emotional disengagement
and lack of attunement. 8
 - In other words, women must be able to turn off fear to move
from physical arousal to conscious desire. At the basic biological
level, her brain is wired to assess her safety and evaluate her
risks.
- These risks include varied threats such as
the possibility of aggression (based upon the
couple’s history or her past personal history)
and the fear of pain during sex, which may
be due to various causes. Some of which
these causes require a physician’s help for
treatment.
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● The emotional safety provided by a secure attachment to

“
another adult allows us to explore the world, including our
own sexuality, without excessive fear of abandonment or
rejection. Couples are more likely to increase mutual
desire when they address the need of female partners to
feel secure in the attachment.

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- Emotional safety regarding a sexual encounter is experienced
as assurance that “My partner does truly care about me,” “He is
present with me and not thinking about someone or something
else” and “He will be responsive to me.” Sue Johnson describes
these emotional aspects of intimacy as being “Attuned,”
“Responsive,” and “Emotionally Engaged.” A partner whose
desire is responsive (vs. spontaneous) is
likely asking, consciously or not,
“Are you there for me?”

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THE END

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