2 ND

QUARTER
14. Keep the friendship or childhood
that survives in the adult
Nothing can replace the friendship of
childhood that survives into adult. This
one is made of steel for it has survived
the rest of the time.
15. Don’t allow distance to separate
you from friends
In friendship long distance
relationship works. Friendship is not
diminished by the friend’s absence.
16. When you find a good friend,
stick to him or her.
A good friend is someone who can tell you
what is wrong with you. Though he or she
may not seem such a good friend after
telling that, stick to such a friend. A friend
who lovingly says what is the mater with you
is made of dearer stuff than one who
supports in all your desires.
17. Don’t be hasty in considering
someone as your friend
For one thing he or she may not like you to
be his or her friend. Moreover, Aristotle
taught us “Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.”
18. Turn an enemy into a friend

This is one good specific way of loving one’s

enemy. Even the great Abraham Lincoln
asked “Do I not destroy my enemies when I
can make them my friends?”
19. Be friend your spouse for life.

Love and friendship are two

foundations that can make marriage
last. Be a friend to your spouse and
the more you will love each other.
20. Be cautious in friendship

A biblical pronouncement states, “A

righteous man is cautious in friendship, but
the way of the wicked leads them astray.” In
choosing a friend, ask God to point you to
those who will never lead you astray. Choose
those who have fear of the lord.
Dealing with Significant Others

1. Genuinely respect other people.

If you want others to treat you with respect,
you need to truly respect them first. Respect,
like love, is felt. Respect begets respect.
2. Never lose faith in humanity.

Have faith in the Creator and the humanity

He created. Indeed, some people had
chosen to become evil, contrary to what
God wants. But humanity is “like an ocean; if
few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean
does not become (necessarily) dirty”
(Mahatma Gandhi).
3. Remember that other is a mystery.

Never think that you already really know

someone completely. Do not make
assumptions. Don’t presuppose either that
somebody totally knows you – your thoughts,
opinions, and conditions.
4. Share your blessings

Finding ways to give back is satisfying. When

a person becomes happy because of our
selfless acts, wee feel a sense of fulfillment.
Sharing your blessings is never meaningless
5. Rebuild your self-esteem through
friendship
Negative criticism do add insult to our
insecurities and tear down our sense of self-
worth. A blast of destructive criticisms leaves
us bruised and troubled and makes us feel
unwanted. But true and loving friendship can
and does rebuild one’s self esteem.
6. Eat with somebody you enjoy
being with
If appetite is your problem, try eating with
friends and family Instead of eating alone.
Amiable conversations with people dear to
you can make mealtime pleasant
7. Nurture your friendships with good
people.
Collect friends. But at the end of the day,
you have to keep the good ones and avoid
the bad influences. Friendship should not be
corrupted by bad and pretentious “friends”
8. Earn others’ respect

Respect is not really that easy to earn. You

should gain it, keep it, and maintain it, for it is
priceless.
9. Listen to someone who is speaking

If you patiently listen, the one speaking will

recognize your appreciation, respect,
concern, and attention. Respect begets
respect.
10. Say “Please” and “Thank you”

Treating other persons with respect is very

important because every one of us wants to
be respected also. Showing respect to others
can be done in simple ways like by saying,
“Please” and “Thank you”
10. Say “Please” and “Thank you”

Treating other persons with respect is very

important because every one of us wants to
be respected also. Showing respect to others
can be done in simple ways like by saying,
“Please” and “Thank you”
11. Don’t talk about somebody
behind/his her back
If you are back fighter who wants to
downgrade others, then you don’t
deserve to be respected.
12. Don’t contain your anger all the
time.
If somebody does or says something
that makes you angry, then tell
him/her in a nice way. Holding back
unhealthy emotions will only cause
them to return and haunt you later in
life.
13. Don’t judge someone for his or
her belief.
Don’t think ill of anyone just because
he or she has a different religion or
political belief from your own. Also,
don’t judge a person based on his or
her social status and family
background.
14. Be true to your words and
promises
Be honest and reliable. A
respectable person is one who is
honest in his words. He can be
trusted to do what he promises.
15. Properly deal with those who
have offended you.
If you hold anger against anyone,
consider talking to him or her about
it. You might be surprised to learn
that this person has no idea that he
or she has offended you.
15. Be yourself all the time.

In dealing with other people, don’t

pretend to be someone else. As
we’ve been mentioning, “its better
to be hated for what you are than to
be loved for who you are not,”
17. Avoid excessive anger.

Anger is one of the natural human

emotions. But excessive anger could be
harmful to your well-being and to those
around you. Get away from anger and
reduce the amount of anger you feel on
a day-to-day basis.
18. Be at peace with other people

If you become angry in a room or office,

try to go out and get some fresh air or
have a walk. Drink cool (not icy) water
to get rid of you anger. Avoid taking
sweet or fatty foods which increase
blood pressure. Engage in exercises that
provide calmness.
16. Be yourself all the time.
17. Avoid excessive anger.
18. Be at peace with other people
19. Refuse to be irritated by anyone
20. Surround yourself with optimistic people.
21. Don’t increase the amount of hate in the
world.
22. Treat people equally
23. Don’t make changing others your
profession.
19. Refuse to be irritated by anyone

Refuse to be annoyed by anyone, especially

by those who matter to you. When you feel
that you are almost becoming angry, take a
pause. Take ten, slow deep breaths. Think of
something funny. Try to imagine the best
scene in your favorite comedy movie.
20. Surround yourself with optimistic
people.
Be friendly, but hang out with friends
who are positive thinkers and have a
good sense of humor.
21. Don’t increase the amount of
hate in the world.
Look at the positive side of every
event and development. Always see
beauty in the world where you and
your significant others belong. Count
your blessings
22. Treat people equally

The ability to treat people equally is a

sign of a mature and wise mind. Albert
Einstein related, “I speak to everyone in
the same way, wether he is the garbage
man or the president of the univeristy
23. Don’t make changing others your
profession.
Especially if someone doesn’t care
about you, do not consider it your
obligation to change him or her. But you
may pray for him or her.
24. Be practically selfless.

Yes, living your life for other people can be

good, but this entails that you have already
lived your life for yourself first and foremost. In
fact, there are times when you have to do
what’s good for you, even if it means hurting
even those people you care for.
25. Make other people your source
of inspiration.
By mere by looking at or thinking of other
people, you can be spiritually strong. When
problems seem to plague your life, others
could make you realize that they have gone
through the same problems that you have
today.
26. Be righteously friendly

Being cautious in friendship, like being wise in

choosing those you befriend, is one measure
of being righteous. None less than the Bible
states, “A righteous man is cautious in
friendship, but the way of the wicked leads
them astray”
27. Never heart anyone just to feel
good.
Remember that calling someone fat won’t
make you any slimmer. Judging others’ outfit
as “country” (baduy) won’t make your getup
more fashionable
28. Never backstab anyone.

What is worse than betraying someone

after pretending to be his or her friend?
“Friendship is a big deal, backstabbing is
even bigger”
29. Don’t worry much about what
others think.
Social conformity is only good as long as
it doesn’t hurt you nor destroy your moral
sense. Be originally happy for what you
are, especially if what you do brings
honor to your Creator
30. Be special by loving others with
all your heart.
You maybe a regular man with common life
but if you loved another with all your heart
and mind, that could be enough to be really
special at leas to him or her. No memorial
may be put up for you when you’re gone,
but you will always have monument
dedicated to you in his/her heart.
CHAPTER 5: COPING WITH
STRESS IN MIDDLE AND
LATE ADOLESCENCE
STRESS
A medical term for a wide range of
strong external stimuli, both physiological
and psychological, which can cause a
physiological response called the
general adaptation syndrome
STRESS
Depending on one’s take on things,
anything can be stressful. To be
stressed is just normal as it is part and
parcel of our life.
STRESS
A stress can either be helpful or
damaging, some categorize. Good
stress is good if it propels us to perform
well in our endeavors. On the other
hand, bad stress is that which hinders us
from functioning well.
Common Sources of Stress
 Physical  Loss
Appearance  Frustration
 School/Academic  Romantic
Pressure Relationships
 Family/Home  Future
 Social/Peer
Pressures
Common Sources of Stress
 Physical  Loss
Appearance  Frustration
 School/Academic  Romantic
Pressure Relationships
 Family/Home  Future
 Social/Peer
Pressures
Physical
Adolescence is accompanied by
certain changes in the physical featuers
of an individual. One’s height, weight,
body figure, skin problems, and the like
are common “issues” for adolescents.
The desire to look good to others
School/Academic Pressure
Many adolescents often feel stressed
about academic and extra curricular
requirements such as recitation, daily
seatwork, quiz, project, homework,
examination and graded performance.
School/Academic Pressure
The desire to pass subjects and courses
and its entailed sacrifices (rigorous
reviewing, researching, beating
deadlines, sleepless nights) generates
pressure and stresses. These stresses,
nonetheless, are commonly helpful and
necessary.
Family/Home
Family issues may also bring about stress.
Change in the family situation such as
divorce or annulment of parents usually
result in new living arrangements and
other stressful conditions (e.g having
blended family, lacking privacy, having
to adjust new residence and school.
Family/Home

Conflict with parents, siblings

rivalry, and the obligation to look
after younger siblings also
generate stress.
Social/Peer Pressures
Stress can also be the result of the
pressures an adolescent gets from
his/her friends or other teenagers. These
may include pressure to cut class, to
smoke, or to experiment with alcohol,
drug or sexual activities.
Social/Peer Pressures

There may also be pressure from the

bullying or harassment by fellow
adolescents. The combination of
these pressures may lead to stress
overload.
Loss
The loss of a loved one – a family member, relative
or friend – also create stress. Relatedly , breaking
up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, ending a friendship,
and separation from a much loved work also
produce a sense of loss, and are thus stressful as
well. These may lead to losing one’s self-worth and
the appetite to socialize or attend classes.
Frustration
Failures to reach goals or carry out plans result in
stress. Someone frustrations are due to
uncontrollable factors such as stormy weather or
sudden brownout. These may lead to stressful
situations such as inability to take examinations or
finish a research assignment. The so called “hassles
and uplifts of everyday life” are potential sources
of stress too.
Romantic Relationships
Adolescence is a stage in which
romantic relationships usually blossom
and bloom. Both having a
boyfriend/girlfriend and not having one
generate stress among teenagers.
Future
Adolescents also think about their future,
especially those in the late adolescence. Not
knowing what one really wants to be in the
future can be stressful. Equally worrying is
knowing what one wants to be but unable to
attain it due to factors such as financial
constraints and skill or aptitude mismatch
THE EFFECTS
OF STRESS
Physical
Stress increases the level of adrenaline and
corticosterone in the body, which in turn
leads to an increased heart-rate, respiration,
and blood-pressure and puts more physical
stress on body organs.
Physical
Especially when stress becomes long term, it may
lead to illnesses such as heart disease, high blood
pressure, and stroke. Other disorders related to
stress are stomachaches, headaches, digestive
disorders, and body pains (such as in the neck,
back, and face). Stressed individuals may also
experience insomnia or sleeplessness, colds and
infections, nervousness and shaking, excessive
perspiration, and sweaty palms and feet.
Emotional
Stressed individuals are prone to agitation,
impatience, irritability, and moodiness. When stress
is too much, there may be a feeling of being
overwhelmed by pressures and powerlessness to
control things. Stressed persons may feel bad
about themselves and are usually not in the mood
to socialize
Cognitive
The thoughts of stress individuals are filled
with worrying. As a result, the commonly
become forgetful and disorganized. As
negative thoughts cloud their minds, they
subsequently become pessimistic.
Behavioral
Due to stress, changes in behavior also occur.
Some stressed people lose appetite while others
tend to overeat. When overstressed, many tend to
procrastinate and avoid responsibilities. Some may
even engage in dinking alcohol, taking drugs, or
smoking cigarettes. Nervous behaviors may also
come about such as fidgeting, pacing, and nail
biting
Behavioral
On a positive note, stress provides energy to
handle emergencies, make necessary
adjustments, meet challenges, and excel in
activities. Moreover, stress can stimulate motivate
people to actualize their full potential and
courageously push themselves to the limit of their
capacity.
STRESS RESPONSES
A stress response is the body’s mechanism for
protecting or caring for the stressed individual. It is
an assortment of physiological reactions or
changes in the body upon perception of
demanding situations with which one has to cope.
1. Flight or fight response/Acute stress

When the fight or flight stress response is elicited,

our sympathetic nervous system instantly becomes
engaged in generating multitude of physiological
changes including adrenaline surge, release of
cortisol, redirection of blood towards the major
body organs, and heightened pulse rate,
metabolism, breathing rate, and blood pressure.
These enable us to either fight or flee from the
stressful event or situation.
2. General Adaption Syndrome

Medical doctor Hans Selye, the proponent of the

General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS), observed
that the human body has a natural adaptive
responsive to stress. He believes that the body
naturally adapts
A. Alarm Phase

The theory concurs that the body naturally reacts

to stress by activating its fight or flight response
system. Stress hormones such as adrenaline,
noradrenaline, and cortisol are released when one
is stressed. These hormones help the person to
combat the stress, stay in control, and perform
extraordinary activities.
B. Resistance Stage

If the stressor is not eradicated, the next phase is

the resistance stage or adaptation. This response
stage which involves the secretion of additional
hormones is for long term protection. In this stage,
the adrenal cortex produces hormones called
corticosteroids
However, the excessive utilization of the
body’s defense mechanisms in this stage
can also lead to diseases. If the body
stays in this condition for a long time, the
person may suffer illnesses such as
concentration lapses, fatigue,
moodiness, and weariness
C. Exhaustion stage

The stress has been lingering at this phase. The

body begins to weaken and lose its capacity to
fight or lessen the harmful effects of the stressors
because all the energies an defensive reserves
have been used up. As in this case of the people
who have been dealing with a stressful job for a
long time, person in this stage may have high
blood pressure, heart attack, and other related
ilnesses
The exhaustion stage may be considered as
the entry point to stress overload or burnout.
Stress overload or burnout, if not settled right
away, more often than leads to more serious
health problems and distressing life
3. Relaxation Response

Dr. Herbert Benson, the founder of Harvard’s

Mind/Body Medical Institute, coined the term
“relaxation response is the body’s capacity to
release chemicals and brain signals that slow
down the movements of muscles and organs,
thereby boosting the flow of blood to the brain.
Relaxation response puts a halt on the
physiological responses, there by bringing back the
body and mind into a state of equilibrium
Common Coping Strategies

1. Problem-Focused Approach
This strategy fundamentally involves focusing on
the source of the stress. This may include trying to
analyze the situation and making extra effort or
working harder to solve the problem. Confronting
or communicating with the direct source of stress is
also under this strategy
2. Emotion-Focused Strategy
This approach encompasses concentrating on one’s
feeling or emotion brought about by the stress instead of
facing the actual source of stress. A person subscribes to
this strategy when he or she accepts the stress but mopes
around, keeps on complaining, or blames herself/himself
or others for the stressful event. This approach may also
entail resorting to drinking alcohol, taking drugs, and other
forms of escaping the stressful situation. Evidently, this
strategy is not advisable
Other tips on
coping stress
1. Engaging in Physical Activities
This includes exercising, deep breathing,
and meditation. Some also suggest
yoga or taichi. Physical activities
improve our resistance and immunity
against the damages brought about by
stressors
2. Doing activities that are relaxing
Relaxation is a remedy to stress. During stressful
events, it helps when we learn to stop for a while,
give ourselves a break, or engage in activities that
bring relaxation. Relaxation bring us back to our
senses, produces calmness, and contributes to our
wellness. Calming activities include walking one’s
pet on the park, taking a warm bath, reading
good books, watching
3. Acquiring social support
In times of stress and crisis, our loved ones, relatives,
and friends can provide us helpful emotional
support. The assistance and encouragement they
provide can make stressful events easier to deal
with. It is thus advisable to build a strong support
system. When we are physically and emotionally
alone, we are prone to be vulnerable victims of
stresses.
4. Getting ample rest and sleep
The significance of getting enough rest and sleep is
known to many. As adolescents often stay up late
at night, it is advisable that they get enough sleep
whenever proper opportunity permits. Enough rest
and sleep help people not only to perform well in
activities but also to resist the damages caused by
stress.
5. Being realistic
Involves acknowledging and accepting our
weaknesses and limitations. Nobody is perfect and
no one is a superhero. If we need help for
something, we should not be ashamed to ask for
help. Some people are better than us at least in
some aspects.
6. Thinking Positively
Our outlook and attitudes in life have an impact on
the way we see things. Thinking with optimism helps
us to make the best out of stressful situations. We
have to embrace life and its crises and learn to
laugh at ourselves once in a while. Though easier
said than done, it will help to be hopeful and have
an optimistic mindset even in the midst of negative
events. As the philosopher William James once
said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our
ability to choose one thought over another”
(William James)
7. Learning the art of resilience
There are people who are quick to recover
from stressful events. They have learned the
art of being able to bounce back after
experiencing crises in life. We should learn
and practice the art of resiliency to be just
“cool” and tough, despite high levels of
stress.
7. Learning the art of resilience
There are people who are quick to recover
from stressful events. They have learned the
art of being able to bounce back after
experiencing crises in life. We should learn
and practice the art of resiliency to be just
“cool” and tough, despite high levels of
stress.
CHAPTER 6:
THE POWERS
OF MIND
The Lateralization of the Brain: The Left and Right Brain
Theory
The theory of brain lateralization was developed by
Nobel-Prize winner Roger Sperry and Robert Ornstein. This
theory states that each side of the brain has different
functions. While human use both sides, each one has a
dominant side which, according to the theory, explains
much about his or her behavior, interests, personality, and
mode of thinking. This led to coined terms left-brained or
right-brained individuals.
More emotional, swayed by feelings, and seem to
view things and events through feelings. They look
at visual references as a whole and then go
through details. They are intuitive, believers of
imaginations and fantasies, risk takers, creative,
and unpredictable. They tend to organized,
unable to make clear their priorities, and lack time
management.
Right – Brained
Individuals
These people are very organized, logical,
and detail-oriented. They process ideas in a
methodical step-by-step manner and this
enables them to commit less mistakes. They
favor rigid schedules and deadlines. They are
more auditory learners and are better at
using words to remember things rather than
visual aids.
Left – Brained
Individuals
The Theory’s Advantages and Disadvantages
The left and right brain lateralization theory,
despite criticism, seems to help in improving
one;s learning. For one thing, it gives us a
picture of how the two hemispheres of the
brain distinctly function. It also provides an
understanding of what areas an individual is
naturally good at and those on which he or
she needs to improve or focus.
Upon knowing the brain inclination or to
which brain a person is “affiliated’ he or she
could think of ways to boost strengths and
compensate for weaknesses. Understanding
one’s strength and weaknesses based on
brain side dominance may lead someone to
develop effective ways to learn and study.
For instance, a right-brained individual who
has difficulty in following verbal instructions in
classrooms may make extra efforts to study
more. He or she may think of ways such as
writing down the teacher’s lectures and
instructions or making visual reviewers
However, being stereotyped as left-brained
or a right-brained person may have a
negative effect or may even impede
learning when this results in a self-fulfilling
prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy is “a
prediction that directly or indirectly causes
itself to become true, by the very terms of the
prophecy itself, due to positive feedback
between belief and behavior
A student who has branded himself “right-
brained’ may no longer study hard since he
concludes that his inclination is more into arts
than in academics. In other words, the
theory, when used, improperly, may lead to
a person creating himself in accordance to
his
A student who has branded himself “right-
brained’ may no longer study hard since he
concludes that his inclination is more into arts
than in academics. In other words, the
theory, when used, improperly, may lead to
a person creating himself in accordance to
his
CHAPTER 7: MENTAL
HEALTH AND WELL-
BEING IN MIDDLE AND
LATE ADOLESCENCE
Mental Health
Is a level of psychological well-being, or an
absence of a mental disorder”. It includes
social, emotional, and psychological well-
being a d has an influence on how an
individual thinks, feels, and behaves.
Good mental health is essential at all periods
of an individual’s life time-childhood,
adolescence, and adulthood. Adolescents
with good mental health and wellbeing are
those who have no mental disorders and
manifest positivity, happiness, health
relationship with family and friends.
Psychological Well-being
Psychological well-being is commonly linked
to happiness. Carol Ryff on the other hand
defined it in a boarder sense. He viewed it as
an optimal psychological functioning that
involves several dimensionos such as
subjective, social and psychological
Dimensions of Psychological Well-Being
1. Self-Acceptance
This refers to accepting oneself and putting up
with one’s flaws, imperfections, and
weaknesses. It involves realistic understanding
and satisfaction in one’s self which lead to a
feeling of worth, self-acceptance can be
achieved by accepting the fact that no one is
perfect, avoiding unreasonable self-criticisms,
and looking for ways to fix one’s defects.
2. Personal Growth
This refers to developing one’s personality and
identity, cultivating abilities, and acquiring
helpful skills in order to achieve dreams and
goals. Usually, the persons who strive to attain
personal growth are believers of positive
change and thus make efforts to reach their
potentials. They endeavor to equip themselves
with new knowledge competences
3. Purpose in Life
Psychological well-being encompasses the
capacity to envision one’s life as having
meaning and purpose. This means that an
individual sees that his/her life and existence
have a sense, point, and significance and
he/she has a mission and function in the
world. It involves the outlook that one is not
living just for the sake of living.
4. Environmental Mastery
This aspect is basic and necessary to live a
healthful life. It comprises the knowledge and
skills to control and deal with the world the
surrounding environment without being by the
difficulties and stresses
5. Autonomy
This refers to independence, self-reliance and
the ability to think and decide for one’s self.
Individuals who display autonomy are not
threatened by pressures brought about by
other people such as their peers. They can
stand for their principles, are not affected by
what others think of them, and are not
pressured to conform to others.
6. Positive relations with others
This denotes the ability to build trusting
relationships with other people. Individuals
with positive relations with others have
concern to, empathy with, and affection of
other people. They are able to share
themselves with others are secured in their
pressure relationships. They have a feeling of
being loved, appreciated, and understood.
Mental Health Disorders
Biological factors, such as genes or
brain chemistry
Life Experiences, such as trauma or
abuse
Family history of mental health
problems
1. Depression
The most frequent illness related to mental health
among adolescents is Depression (Knopf, 20018).
Moreover, other studies state that it is the most
epidemic of the mental health disorders and that
one out of four high school students manifests mino
symptoms of depression (Murphey, 2013).
Symptoms of depression include excessive
moodiness, weeping, changing in eating and
sleeping habits, hopelessness, worthlessness, and
expressions of wanting to hurt oneself.
2. Anxiety disorders
These disorders are disturbances in the brain
mechanisms that intended to protect an individual
from harm. Examples are phobias, post-traumatic
disorders (PTSD), panic disorder and obsessive
compulsive disorder (OCD). According to studies,
an estimate of 10 percent of adolescents possess
anxiety disorders with OCD being the most
common (Murphey)
3. Psychotic Disorders
There are interruptions in thinking perception,
and behavior, These mental diseases are
relatively sever. Schizophrenia and Delusional
Disorder fall under this category.
4. Eating Disorders
Many Adolescents have these disorders as they
are normally conscious of their looks and image.
Being excessively conscious of one’s body figure
can result in unhealthy weight loss. An example of
eating disorder is Anorexia, which refers to
changes in eating habits marked by conscious
avoidance of food. Another disorder is Bulimia, an
illness involving forced vomiting after eating. In
bulimia, considerable weight loss happens without
changes in eating habits
5. Developmental Disorders
These are disorders in brain
development Developmental disorders
Include, Autism, Attention-
deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD_),
and Learning Disorder.
6. Behavioral Disorders
These are defects in the anticipated
behaviors of individuals, especially the
adolescents. Behavioral disorders
include oppositional Defiant Disorder
and Conduct Disorder
STAYING MENTALLY
HEALTHY
1. Acknowledge your emotions.
Instead of acknowledging one’s emotions
people tend to deny, hide or avoid them.
Others even resort to various behaviors such
as overeating, drinking alcohol, taking drugs,
or sleeping excessively. By accepting one’s
emotions and letting ourselves experience
them, we would be able to understand them
in a clear picture and deal with them and
their causes appropriately.
2. Build a strong support system.
Establish and preserve strong
relationships with people from whom
you can get loving support. Our
relationship with others has a
tremendous impact on our overall
wellbeing.
3. Watch over your physical health
When we take care of ourselves by
eating right, engaging in physical
activities, preventing illness, getting
enough sleep and rest, we normally feel
good and function well. Physical
wellbeing is correlated with good mental
health, hence it is essential for us to
maintain a healthy body.
4. Do not be ashamed to seek for help.
Asking for help does not mean that you are a
loser. It only means that you accept your
limitations and weaknesses and the fact that
you need the help of others to survive. Be
helpful to others too
.

5. Play, enjoy, and laugh

It is vital to our wellbeing that we play, enjoy
life, and do things that make our heart sing
Though it is true that life is meant to be taken
seriously, it would also be nice to laugh at
ourselves once in a while. Laughter, they say,
is the best medicine
.

5. Play, enjoy, and laugh

It is vital to our wellbeing that we play, enjoy
life, and do things that make our heart sing
Though it is true that life is meant to be taken
seriously, it would also be nice to laugh at
ourselves once in a while. Laughter, they say,
is the best medicine
.

6. Set realistic goals.

Setting unrealistic goals poses pressures on a
n individual. By setting realistic goals, we rid
ourselves of the immense pains and
frustration brought about by not attaining
improbable goals
.

6. Set realistic goals.

Setting unrealistic goals poses pressures on a
n individual. By setting realistic goals, we rid
ourselves of the immense pains and
frustration brought about by not attaining
improbable goals
.

7. Find sources of inspirations.

A good bock, a daily quote, and an
interesting true life story may inspire an
individual to dream and reach goals. Make
an effort to find inspiration in things around
you.
.

8. Set a time for meditation and relaxation

Find time to relax and contemplate on
things. Especially when stressed, give yourself
a few minutes to sit, relax, and take a deep
breathe. Some problems require being fixed
slowly but surely.
.

CHAPTER 8
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
.

A world without emotions is a world devoid of

warmth, vitality, and color. Emotions allow us
to sympathize with the unfortunate, grieve
with those who have lost their loved ones,
and celebrate with any triumph.
.

The English word “emotion” was adapted

from the French word “emouvoir” in 1979.
“Affective experiences resulting from the
fusion of complex sensory and perceptual
stimulation with established patterns of
behavior, accompanied by inner adjustment
or stirred-u[ states as expressed in one or
another form of overt behavior.”
.

The Psychologist Robert Plutchick created

the wheel of emotions which could help us to
better understand the various aspects of
emotions:
.

Plutchik’s Wheel
of Emotions
.

1. Intensity of emotions
The strength of emotions varies from very mild
to intensity of emotions may also correspond
to the degree by which an emotion affects
one’s behaviors
.

Plutchik’s wheel of emotions manifests the

variation of emotions. He suggested that
there are primary bipolar emotions: joy
against sadness; anger against fearl trust
against disgust; and surprise against
anticipation. Word pairs such as fear-terror,
sadness-grief, and anger-rage suggest
differences in intensity.
.

2. Types of Emotions
Robert Plutchik, the creator of wheel of
emotions, believes that there are just eight
basic or primary emotions such as joy
sadness, fear, anger, anticipation, surprise,
disgust, and trust. For him, each emotion has
corresponding opposites.
.

Emotions and their counterparts

1. Joy - Sadness
2. Fear - Anger
3. Anticipation - Surprise
4. Disgust - Trust
.

2. Types of Emotions
Robert Plutchik, the creator of wheel of
emotions, believes that there are just eight
basic or primary emotions such as joy
sadness, fear, anger, anticipation, surprise,
disgust, and trust. For him, each emotion has
corresponding opposites.
The Eight Basics Emotions
.

1. Joy
It is the feeling of happiness. It is synonymous
to gladness, delight, and bliss. Intense forms
are ecstasy, elation, and euphoria
2. Sadness
The feeling of being unhappy, gloomy, or
lonely. Its synonyms are grief, sorrow,
desolation, and melancholy
3. Fear
.

The feeling of being scared, frightened, or

anxious. Related words are dread distress,
horror, fright and terror.
4. Anger
The feeling of being made, irate, or
annoyed. A stronger version is rage fury.
5. Disgust
.

This is what we feel when something is wrong,

erroneous, or dirty. Its synonyms are revulsion
antipathy, and aversion. Stronger forms are
abhorrence and hatred.
6. Trust
This is a positive emotion which also means
confidence and belief. Admiration is a
stronger form; acceptance is weaker kind.
7. Anticipation
.

It constitutes looking forward to something

good or positive that, one believes, will
happen. Related words are hope and
expectation.
8. Surprise
This is what we feel when something we do
not expect happens. It may also means
amazement, disbelief, or shock.
.

Practically, human emotions blend with one

another, and this results in another emotion,
as suggest also by Plutchik’s wheel emotions.
 POSITIVE AND
.

NEGATIVE
EMOTIONS
.

Positive emotions can be sources of

motivation and enjoyment, as they also
make life exciting, colorful, and stimulating.
Negative emotions, on the other hand, may
cause sleep disturbances, restlessness, loss of
appetite, inefficiency, and moodiness.
.

Positive and Negative emotions, especially

when intense, may also entail physiological
changes such as increased heartbeat, rapid
breathing, sweating, blood rushing to the
face, and release of adrenaline.
.

Other ways of hiding emotions are by

suppression and masking them. Examples of
suppression are denying and avoiding.
Masking or concealing the emotions is done
by replacing negative emotions with positive
or more favorable emotions
.

Personal
Relationship
.

Adolescence is the stage when many

personal relationships such as the so-called
romantic relationship are usually formed.
Romantic relationship may begin with being
attracted to someone, develop into loving
him or her, and end up committing to spend
the lifetime with that person.
.

Adolescence is the stage when many

personal relationships such as the so-called
romantic relationship are usually formed.
Romantic relationship may begin with being
attracted to someone, develop into loving
him or her, and end up committing to spend
the lifetime with that person.
.

Romantic relationships are the core of the social

life of many adolescents from middle to late
adolescent stages. In these stages, there is much
thought, talking, and fantasizing about being in a
romantic relationship. Though most adolescents’
life. The way they handle such early romantic
relationships may determine their behavior in their
future committed relationships in adulthood.
.

Teenage romantic relationships are usually not the

serious ones. Often transitory, they are normally
deemed as more or less “puppy love” kind of
relationship. But though they are not expected to
end up in a marriage, they nonetheless play an
important role in the daily life of adolescents and
have noteworthy implications on their mental
health and well-being, continuing development,
and imminent romantic relationships
.

Teen Age Relationships

Attraction
Can be considered as a precursor to love.
When one is attracted to another person,
there is the physical or sexual feeling or desire
being felt. Attraction is responsible for the
desire to feel
.

Adolescents are usually attracted to physical

beauty, individual who display good
grooming and hygiene normally get more
attention. But there are those who are
attracted to individuals who are intelligent,
with sense of humor, or with good
personality.
.

Some Forms of Attraction

Crush is a form of attraction. According to
author E. Hurlock, crush is “the love of an
adolescent toward an older member of the
same or opposite sex” This type of attraction
encompasses a “transfer of affection from
the parents to either a teacher or an older
classmate”
.

1. Identity Crush
Identity crushes are formed when an
adolescent finds someone he/she admires,
wants to imitate, or wishes to follow as his/her
leader. These often last long because the
admirer is using his/her “crush” in shaping
his/her values, ideals, personality, and
development.
.

2. Romantic Crush
Romantic crushes are formed when an adolescent
finds someone as attractive and feelis the desire to
be around or spend a lot of time with him/her.
Most romantic crushes are short-lived because
there is a tendency for the “magic” of the “crush”
to wear off. However, having a romantic crush
may give an awareness to an adolescent that
he/she is capable of having a “romantic love” in
the future.
.

2. Romantic Crush
Romantic crushes are formed when an adolescent
finds someone as attractive and feelis the desire to
be around or spend a lot of time with him/her.
Most romantic crushes are short-lived because
there is a tendency for the “magic” of the “crush”
to wear off. However, having a romantic crush
may give an awareness to an adolescent that
he/she is capable of having a “romantic love” in
the future.
.

1. MOTIVATION
2. GIVING
.

2. Romantic Crush
Romantic crushes are formed when an adolescent
finds someone as attractive and feelis the desire to
be around or spend a lot of time with him/her.
Most romantic crushes are short-lived because
there is a tendency for the “magic” of the “crush”
to wear off. However, having a romantic crush
may give an awareness to an adolescent that
he/she is capable of having a “romantic love” in
the future.
.

Hero worship is another form of attraction. This is

very similar to crush, though it differs in the sense
that it is characterized by the absence of personal
contact with one being admired.
It is like “celebrity crush”
.

Courtship can be considered under attraction

stage. Courtship is a phase in a romantic
relationship prior to engagement and marriage. It
involves the “Getting to know each other”
.

Courtship can be considered under attraction

stage. Courtship is a phase in a romantic
relationship prior to engagement and marriage. It
involves the “Getting to know each other”
.

1. Dating
This is a process which offers opportunity for an
individual to know more about another person and
have a friendly association or enjoyable time with
him/her. Usual activities in dating are eating out in
restaurants, mailing, engaging in games together
and watching movies or concerts.
.

2. Selective stage
After dating, a person decides whether or not to
continue “seeing: a certain individual. In this stage,
a person also starts selecting the individual who will
be his or her “Steady”, that is, the person with
whom he/she wants to have a romantic
relationship
.

3. Going “Steady”
This is the stage where a sort of romantic
relationship is made official. This is marked by the
presence of “mutual understanding” between two
persons. This stage involves some sort of
agreement, such as exclusively dating each other
and the intention to probably proceed to
marriage in the future.
.

4. Engagement Period
This is the part where the couple is formally known
as “engaged.” This encompasses a sort of contract
and promise that on a set date, the engaged
couple will marry each other. This also entails
setting things for the wedding.
.

Love
Love, truly, is something which cannot be fully
captured in any single definition. As it is subjectively
defined, there could be as many definitions of the
concept as there are many people defining it.
Indeed, love can really be many splendored thing.
.

The Triangular Theory of Love

Psychologist Robert Sternberg is one
of the experts who theorized about
love.
.

Intimacy.
Passion.
Commitment.
.

Nonlove
Where the three components of love are absent
this kind of love refers to the most common
relationship humans make such as informal
interactions or acquaintances.
.

Liking/Friendship
Characterized by feelings of closeness without
passion and commitment.
Infatuated Love
There is experience of passionate excitement but
intimacy and decision/commitment are missing.
When the feelings do not continue to grow with
intimacy and commitment, this kind of love may
suddenly fade
.

Empty Love
Just as the name implies. There is no love or passion
but only commitment. Examples of this are the
fixed marriages. However, a couple may begin
with empty love and develop into other forms of
love.
.

Romantic Love
The components intimacy and passion are present.
There is physical and emotion bond but
commitment is missing.
Companionate love
Can be considered as stronger than friendship
because of the presence of intimacy. There is no
passion but long-term commitment exists. This kind
of love is what we observe in young-standing
marriages and in the love among family members
.

Fatuous love
Concrete examples of this are whirlwind romances.
There is passion which resulted to commitment. But
since there was a rush decision to commit, there
was no opportunity for intimacy
.

Consummate Love
The perfect and ideal form of love everybody
desires to achieve. The loving relationship persists
and survives difficulties. The couples’ romantic
activities may go beyond years.
.
Commitment
Commitment in a relationship is a promise, pledge,
or decision to stick by each other through the ups
and downs of the relationship.
1. Commitment as an attraction or the “want to”
aspect
2. Commitment as an attraction or the “ought to”
aspect
3. Commitment as an attraction or the “have to”
aspect
.
Unacceptable and Acceptable Epxressions of
attraction
Adolescents, especially the ones who are new to
relationships, are commonly very impulsive. They
want to spend almost every minute with their
respective source of love or attraction. Unaware,
some may be displaying unacceptable
expressions of attraction
Acceptable
1. . Glancing at teach other
2. Verbal Communication Smiling
3. Writing letters
4. Phone calls or chatting
5. Giving presents
6. Showing attraction through social media (with
limitations
7. Holding hands
8. Walking arm in arm
9. Kiss on the cheeks or “beso-beso” in some occasions
10. Going out.
Unacceptable
.

1. Kissing/Cuddling/Holding in public
2. Flirting
3. Invading personal space
4. Intimate activities
5. Back
rubbing/Massaging/Caressing/Stroking