Time, Stress and Conflict

Management
 STRESS

STRESS - WHAT IS IT?

•When used in physics, stress is defined as ‘the
external pressure applied to an object’
•Popular definitions include:
‘the result of a person being
pushed beyond the limit of their
natural ability’
 ?Is All Stress Bad
• Moderate levels of stress may actually
improve performance and efficiency

• Too little stress may result in boredom

• Too much stress may cause an

unproductive anxiety level
 Identifying Stressors

Situations, activities, and

relationships that cause
‘disturbance’ to one’s physical,
emotional, or psychological
condition
 Stressors

• Work
• Family
• Relationships
• Legal
• Finances
• Health/illness
• Environment
• Living Situation
 Signs of Job Stress

• Resist going to work

• Tired all day
• Watch the clock
• Loss of concentration
• Not open to change
• Excessive absenteeism
 How To Manage Stress
• The goal is to manage our job stress
before it manages us!

• God grant us the serenity to accept the

things we cannot change; the courage
to change the things we can, and the
wisdom to know the difference!
• Identify your stressors
• Know how you react
• Learn techniques to deal with stress
• Integrate stress management into your
daily life
• Time management
• Re-label
• Problem solve
• Delegate
• Anticipate problems
• Be assertive
• Be decisive
• Organize
• Balance work and personal time
 Job Stress Busters

• Take a break!
• Take a mental break!
– Use your imagination…
– Use a calming phrase
• Use humor
• Let go of what you can!
• Learn your limits

• Shoulder and share your burdens

• Let your perfectionism go!

• Attempt not to personalize any

criticism….

• Check out your Attitude!

 STRESS MANAGEMENT
!TECHNIQUES THAT WORK
Can control, reduce and even
eliminate anxiety & stress
symptoms!

Can learn strategies and

techniques that provide stress
relief!
 BREATHING
Breathing helps to slow down or to even stop the
stress response!
Takes time to practice, learn well and use daily.
Often, people do not learn how to breathe
correctly, and do not use it consistently…
 BREATHING
Slowly inhale counting up to seven,
pause for a moment and slowly exhale
counting eight
Try to feel the cool air as you inhale
and the warmth of your breath as you
exhale
You may repeat this for another four
breaths...
 GOOD
PLANNING
1. Concretely identifying the problem

2. List the problem solving options

3. Select one of the options

4. Write out a plan of action

 MANAGE THE
BODY
 Care for your self through eating right,
getting enough sleep and exercising!

 Follow a routine to keep the body healthy,

balanced and healthy!

 AVOID sugar, nicotine, and caffeine! They

over stimulate and produce highs and lows
that lead to distress-especially in excess
Conflict Management
 Definition

Disagreements Between And Among

Individuals; As Difference Of Opinion
Or Idea, or Misunderstanding.
 Sources of Conflict
 Wants And Needs Differ

 Values Differ

 Knowledge Expectations Differ

 Differences In Race, Gender, society, And Age

 Assumptions/Perceptions
 Sources of Conflict

 Personality Clash Or disagreement

 Competition For Limited Resources

 Personal, Self, Or Group Interest

 Tension And Stress

 Power And Influence

 Negative Impact
• Mission Incomplete

• Destroys Morale

• Polarizes Groups

• Deepens Differences In Values

• Produces Irresponsible And Regrettable

Behavior
 Positive Impact
• Opens Issue Of Importance

• Increases The Involvement Of Individuals

• Causes genuine Communications To Occur

• Results In A Solution Of The Problem

• Releases Pent-up Emotion, Anxiety, And Stress

• Builds Cohesiveness

• Promotes Personal Growth

 Coping Strategies

 Ask yourself
 How Important Is The Relationship?
 How Important Is The Incident?
 How Will I Feel If I do/don’t Confront?
 What is the Likely Outcome?
 Coping Strategies
 Negotiation Skills
 Diagnosis
 Ability To Determine The Nature Of The
Conflict
 Initiation
 Influencing Someone From Changing
The Behavior
 Listen
 Hear the Other’s Point of View
 Elements Of The
Conflict Model

Avoidance Lose/Lose
Accommodating Lose/Win
Competing Win/Lose
Compromise Draw
Collaboration Win/Win
 What Does This Mean

• Managing conflict means you need to

develop several styles and decide which is
valuable at any given point of conflict
 Tips for Managing Workplace
Conflict
• Build good relationships before conflict
occurs
• Do not let small problems escalate; deal
with them as they arise
• Respect differences
• Listen to others’ perspectives on the
conflict situation
• Acknowledge feelings before focusing on
facts
• Focus on solving problems, not changing
people
• If you can’t resolve the problem, turn to
someone who can help
• Remember to adapt your style to the
situation and persons involved
 “If the only tool you have is a
hammer, you will treat every
situation that you encounter as a
nail”
Abraham Maslow
Time Management
Effective Time Management and Priority Setting

Manage Manage
Your Work
Yourself
Environment

Manage Your
Relationships
Manage
Yourself
How to Manage Yourself

• Set Goals
• Make your goals SMART
• Plan your success
• Evaluate priorities
• Use “To Do” Lists Every Day
• Analyze your current use of time and set goals to
improve
Manage
Yourself
Why Do We Need to Set Goals?

• You can’t get what you want if you

don’t know what you’re going for

• A goal has an extraordinary power over

the direction of your life and business

• Accomplishing a goal is one of the more

satisfying pleasures a person can experience
Manage
Yourself
Wheel of Time Exercise
Personal
Career & Wealth

Projects
Relationships

Health Education

Religion/Spiritual Social
Manage
Yourself ?What are SMART goals
Clear statement of what needs to be
achieved

Clear method for obtaining evidence that it

has been achieved

Do you have an action plan for your goal and

how to achieve it?

Do you have the time, money, man-power or

resources … and is it relevant?

Clear deadline by which a goal will be

achieved, including milestones
Manage
Yourself Example of SMART Goal
I will learn French by taking the night class“
offered Sundays from 7-10 pm at my local
high school. I will enroll and begin next
week March 29th and complete the fall
”.course
Manage
Yourself Now It’s Your Turn

• Using the goal you selected from your Wheel of Time,

rewrite it to make it SMART
• Ask yourself these questions:
– Is it specific?
– How will I know when I’ve accomplished it?
– Is this goal related to actions (i.e. are there things I will have to
do to get it accomplished?
– Is it realistic?
– Have I specified a time frame for completion?
Manage
Yourself Lack of Planning

If you fail to plan,

you are planning to fail.
Why is this true?

Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance

Manage
Yourself Planning Steps

• Brainstorm What needs to be done

• Put activities in order (When)
• Identify Who will complete each activity
• Build in milestone checkpoints to monitor:
• Quality (How)
• Deadlines (When)
 PUT it in Writing
• Only 3% of people actually write down their life goals
– They are the successful ones!
• Just by writing it down in detailed paragraphs
increases the likelihood that it’ll happen by 50%
• Putting it into your calendar increases the probability
that it’ll happen by 100%

Writing goals down results in more

clear statements of intention
Writing your goals down strengthens
your commitment
Manage
Yourself Prioritize

A-B-C-D Values
• A Goals: High Value
• B Goals: Medium Value
• C Goals: Low Value
• D Goals: Delegate
As Simple As A-B-C-D!
Manage
Yourself To Do Lists

• Done daily
• Prioritized based on your goals
• One combined list instead of multiple lists
• Kept in plain sight
• Taken with you whenever you leave
 The To-Do Book
Manage
Yourself

• Write the date at the top of the page.

• Make a master list of everything you have
to do.
• Highlight the top three things that you want
to accomplish.
• During the day, every time you complete
an item, cross it off.
Manage
Yourself Establish Rituals
• What is a ritual?
– A ritual is something you do the same way at the
same time
• Rituals help you get important things done
• What are some rituals you can build into your
day?
 Manage Name ___________________ Date ________
Yourself
My Daily Goal: Deadline:
1. ________________________________________ _________________
2. ________________________________________ _________________
3. ________________________________________ _________________
4. ________________________________________ _________________
5. ________________________________________ _________________

Priority: 1 - Very Urgent; 2 - Important; 3 - Routine; 4 - Trivial

Comment Priority Time Wasted Time Used Activity Time
Manage
Yourself Time Map Instructions
• Complete the time map for your last day at work
• Write date, your key goals for the day, and
your deadlines
• Determine the priority for each activity
• Be very specific
• Use abbreviations, e.g.. phone call out: c>
phone call in: c<
• Be totally honest
Manage
Yourself Procrastination
• Putting off working on something that needs to
be done
• Why do we procrastinate
– Fear of task
– Task seems overwhelming
– Don’t like task or it’s boring
• What’s the problem with procrastination ?
– Important tasks don’t get completed
Manage
Yourself Dealing with Procrastination
• Just start!
• Spend time breaking down the activity into bite-size chunks – the Swiss cheese
technique
• Schedule completion of chunks over a period of time
• Avoid "analysis paralysis”
• Set a start time and a deadline, then stick to it.
• Be realistic about the deadline – don't allow yourself to be under so much pressure that it
leaves no time for corrections
• Determine what motivates you and reward yourself as you complete portions of the task

49
 Manage
Work Manage your work environment
Environment

• Identify Time Bandits

• Find Solutions for Time

Bandits

• Manage Meetings Effectively

• Organize Your Work Space

 Time Bandits
Manage
Work
Environment

• The two major definitions of a time bandit

are:
– Anything that decreases your productivity and
effectiveness

– Anything that causes you to shift your focus away

from your number one priority.
 Manage
Work
Interruptions :
Environment
? Where do they come from
1. Boss

1. Subordinates

2. Fellow workers

3. Clients and customers

4. Phone & emails

 Manage
Work
Environment Common Time Bandits
1. Drop-in visitors
2. The telephone
3. Badly managed meetings
4. Waiting time/travel time
5. Confused responsibility/authority
6. Lack of standards and progress reports
7. Unclear communication
8. Unskilled staff
 Drop-in Visitors
Manage
Work
Environment

• Close your door and leave a note saying when

you’ll be available
• Stand up when the visitor walks in
• Greet the visitor explain you’re working toward a deadline
• Set a time limit for the visit
• Make an appointment for a more convenient time
• Walk towards the door as you acknowledge
and summarize
• Rearrange your office layout
• Go to their office so you’re in control of when
you leave
• Ask them to help you with your work
 Manage
Work
Environment Email Disruptions

• Set two times a day to read, respond to, and send

• Turn off sound alert unless you are expecting an
important email
• Use an outgoing message to state when you will be
available
• Remove yourself from group lists
• Scan subject lines for important messages
• Do not review a message more than once - if needed,
file it
 Telephone Disruptions
Manage
Work
Environment

• Forward to voice mail

– Screen your calls
• Establish phone hours
– Set a convenient block of time each day to return all calls
• Be prepared when returning calls
– Decide what action you want them to take and by when
• Keep socializing to a minimum
• Thank and say good-bye courteously as soon as your business is
concluded
 Manage
Work
Environment
Meetings…Potential Benefits

Run properly they can be an effective means of:

● Communicating to a group
● Meeting people face-to-face
● Improving the quality of decisions
● Getting to know people
● Drawing from a variety of different experiences
● Building teams
 Manage
Work
Confused Responsibility &
Environment
Lack of communication
• Two people may do the same job twice
• Two people think that the other person is doing the job—
so it may not get done at all
• Two people both think they have the authority to the job
and give conflicting instructions to other people
• One person has been given the task, but the other
person does not know he is doing it—so cannot
cooperate
 Manage
Work
Confused Responsibility &
Environment
Lack of communication
There was an important job to be done and Everybody
was asked to do it. Everybody was sure that Somebody
would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody
did it. Somebody got mad because it was Everybody’s
job. Everyone thought that Anybody could do it, and
Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It
ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when
actually Nobody blamed Anybody.
 Manage
Work
Dealing with Paper
Environment
?Do You Have a Cluttered Desk

• On average people spend 45 minutes every day

looking for lost papers or documents

• ‘Cluttered desk = cluttered mind’

• Cluttered desks aren’t conducive to clear and

creative thinking, so

Start by clearing your desk of all unwanted items.

 Manage
Work
Environment Organizing Your Files

1) Working Files
2) Reference Files
3) Archive Files
4) Disaster Files
 Manage
Relationships
Manage relationships

• Delegate More

• Learn to Say “No”

• Manage Your Stress

 Manage
Relationships
Steps of Delegation

1. Explain why the job is important.

2. Describe what is needed in terms of results.
3. Give the person the authority they need to do the job.
4. Indicate when the job needs to be completed and get
agreement.
5. Ask the person to tell you his understanding of the task,
deadlines, etc.
6. Never ask the person the question “ do you understand?”
7. Check back on progress long before deadline.
 Arrange the Cards
Exercise

6 4 K 8 3 7 10 Q 2 9 J 5 A

6 4 K 8 3 7 10 Q 2 9 J 5 A

6 4 K 8 3 7 10 Q 2 9 J 5 A

6 4 K 8 3 7 10 Q 2 9 J 5 A

We will time you …

 Manage
Relationships Delegate
1. BEFORE
– Identify the task
– Determine who has the skill, ability and time

2. MIDDLE
– Outline the task with the person, including their
authority
– Be clear about the results you want
(Invest the time to write them down)
 Manage
Relationships Delegate

2. MIDDLE (continued)
– Write results as a SMART goal
– Allow the other person the satisfaction of contributing
his or her own ideas
– Check for understanding by asking the other person to
summarize and ask for questions
– Set procedures and checkpoints that are mutually
agreeable
 Manage
Relationships Delegate

4. AFTER
– Follow-up at checkpoints
– Give positive and constructive feedback
– Make yourself available
– Accept risk—avoid perfectionism
– Limit standards to what is acceptable and
expect a learning curve
 Manage
Relationships Delegation Exercise
Round
Round 23
• Work in groups of three to Round 1
practice delegating
• Three different roles
– Delegator
– Employee
– Observer
• Three rounds:
– Each person changes
role in each round
 Manage
Relationships Learn to Say No
One way to make sure that your schedules are kept on
time is the ability to say no to new and untimely
commitments.

• May I say no……….

• When do I say no………

• How do I say no……..

 Manage
Relationships
Tone of Voice Matters
How you say “no” is very important:
Aggressive: You will damage the relationship

Passive: They won’t take you seriously

Assertive: They’ll take you seriously and

you won’t damage the relationship
What should I ask myself at
?the top of every hour

What is the best

use of my time
?right now