Non Verbal communication

The power of Communication

 In Ancient times the power was with people who
were the strongest and the fastest.
 As the civilizations developed the power resulted
from the heritage. The Kings ruled with the
unmistakable authority.
 In the early days of industrial age, capital was
power.
 This era is characterized by the unimaginable
and massive flow of information, change.
We cannot not Communicate ☺

 Brain is an unstoppable gadget fixed within us

which receives and sends signals every second.
 Information exchange happens through the
verbal and the non Verbal medium.
 A dialogue of an officer about his manager:
“It was awful,” she said.
“ I just don’t like anyone talking to me like that”. “
Well, what did she say?” Pam asked. “ It wasn’t
really what she said that upset me, but it was the
way she said it.”
 Major purpose of Non verbal
Communication

 To Express Emotion
 To convey the Interpersonal Attitude
 To present one’s personality.
 To accompany the verbal behaviour.
 We convey messages non-verbally
through:
 Facial Expressions
 Eye and visual behaviour
 Gesture and body movement
 Time and Space
 Dress
 Physical Characteristics
The three V’s of communication
 Visual : 55% of the impact of our communication
comes from our body language.
Voice : 38% is from our voice tone, tempo and
volume.
 Words : 7% is from the actual words we use.
WHY BODY LANGUAGE?
 All about the image!!!
 59% of a first impression is
made up of how we look; the
way we dress; the jewellery
we wear; the way we carry
ourselves. ( Though attire
may have little to do with the
competence but symbolically
our personal presentation
conveys a lot about us.)
 Remaining 41% we can
create and sustain through
our words and body language
 Are you….
 A shuffler who keeps pacing to and fro?
 A sprawler who takes up a lot of space around
yourself.
 A shifter who keeps moving weight from one foot to
another
 A sleepyhead who hardly has energy left to sit, walk
or stand?
 The one with an upright posture and project a calm,
composed, confident and competent stature.
 Do you keep fiddling with anything handy, scratching,
tapping your foot, kicking your leg, adjusting your
clothes and detract from a positive self image?
 POA
 Sharpen your sensory acuity

 Build Rapport
 Sensory Acuity
 NLP
Neuro- nervous system through which experience
is received and processed through the five senses

Linguistic- language and non verbal communication system

through which the neural representations
are coded and given meaning

Programming- The ability to organize our communication

and neurological systems to achieve
specific desired goals and results
 Understanding communication and
Behaviour
Internal processing and storage
External information Sensory filters

External

Sensory Modalities
Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Olfactory
gustatory

Environment
‘ Feedback ‘ Internal rep
 Representational systems- We encode, organize, store
and attach meanings to the perceptual inputs through them.
V
 Visual- analyze, angle, aspect,
demonstrate, obvious, outlook, scope,
vision, perception, focus……. A
 Auditory- communicate, report, remark,
audible, announce, state…. K
 Kinesthetic- active, stress, structured,
pressure, firm, hunch, support…….
 Olfactory- essence, sweet, rotten, dusty,
smell….
 Gustatory- bitter, Flat, tangy, sour, sharp,
spicy…..
 Unspecified- think, understand, decide,
develop, activate, advise, indicate, know,
manage, anticipate, motivate
 Build rapport

Once we develop our sensory acuity we need to

start building rapport by:
 Matching and Mirroring
 Whole body matching- Adjust your body to
approximate the other person’s postural shifts.
 Vocal Qualities- match Shifts in Tonality, Tempo,
volume, timbre, intonation patterns.
 Verbal- Hear and utilize sensory system terms
and match the sequence of representational
system used by others.
 Facial expression, gestures- Observe the ways a
person uses the body to express.
 Breathing- adjust your breathing patterns to
match the breathing patterns of the other person.
 The “Magic Pills”
(The components of Non Verbal Communication)

 Eye contact

 Smiling

 Voice

 Handshake and Greeting

 Posture
 Eye contact

 Eye contact accounts for the

majority of non- verbal facial
expressions you send.
 Eye contact builds rapport.
 Good eye contact involves looking at the
speaker, moderate eye movements and blinking,
relaxed facial expressions, and maintaining
contact about 60- 70% of the time.
 Smile
 The smile communicates positive
qualities about you.
 Connect your smile to appropriate movements
and gestures.
 It is a natural emotional response to something
pleasurable.
 Intersperse a reassuring smile with your
message.
 Handshake and Greeting
 The handshake creates an emotional bond and allows
you to enter into someone’s personal space.
 It is expected and anticipated.
 Have a firm and comfortable grip.
 Have a good grasp of the other person’s hand.
 Pay attention to your posture, motion, and length of the
handshake.
 A good motion is about three good up and down shakes.
 A good length is long enough to get a good grip, shake,
and verbalize your greeting.
 Handshake and Greeting
 To make the handshake more powerful use :
→verbal additions saying the person’s
name
→ Connect with a good opening and
closing remark.
 Non-verbal additions.
→ maintain good eye contact
→ maintain upright posture, leaning in
slightly toward other person.
 HANDSHAKES

Dominant Pleasant
Confident Unconfident
Open Self conceited
Closed Doubt
Disinterested Glove/ Politician
Cautious Dead fish
 Posture
 Hold your head upright,
have your chest out, and
shoulders back.
 Stand upright on your feet
and lean slightly forward..
 The way you walk is
important.
 You want to convey
confidence and
attentiveness.
 12 x 12 x 12 Theory

People judge you first from

 12 feet away;
then they judge you from
 12 inches away;
and then they judge you based on the first
 12 words out of your mouth.
 TERITORIES AND ZONES
 PERSONAL SPACE- “air bubble”
 ZONE DISTANCE- 4 zones

Intimate – 15-45cm / 6-8inches(personal)

Personal - 46cm – 2m / 18-48inches(formal)

Social - 1.2 or 3.6m / 4-12(feet) (strangers)

Public - over 3.6m / 12 feet(public address)

Factors affecting Space And zones
 Culture
 Population
 Country v city spatial zones
 Status
 Situations/rituals For e.g. Cinema
 Motor vehicles
 Territory and ownership For e.g. crowded lift
 Openness,
confidence:
 open hands, palms up
 unbuttoning or removing
jacket (men)
 eye contact
 smile, leaning forward, relaxed
 hands away from face, possibly behind back
 standing straight, feet slightly apart, shoulders
squared
 snapping fingers
 Cooperation, readiness:

 standing with hands on hips, feet apart, head tilted

 uncrossed legs
 welcoming handshake
 open arms or hands (palms out)
 smile
 eye contact
 rubbing palms together indicating expectation of
something pleasant
 holding hands to give reassurance
 Professional:

 taking notes
 evaluation gestures especially hand to face
 leaning forward
 use of space in seating so as to avoid barriers
 eye contact
 Posture
 Indifference, boredom:

 leg over arm of chair

 rhythmic drumming, tapping
 legs crossed
 shaking one foot (women)
 straighten up then slouch
 ``cold shoulder,'' turning away especially toward exit
 glancing at exit
 rigid, unmoving posture with fixed stare
 yawning
 hand holding up face, drooping eyelids
 fidget or rock
 turning up nose and/or ``tsk'' sound (signifying disgust)
 Evaluation, interest:

 hand to cheek gesture

 slight blinking or squinting
 chin stroking
 hands touching face especially upper lip
 leaning forward (positive) and leaning back (negative)
 head tilted
 peering over top of glasses
 sucking on tip of pencil or earpiece of glasses indicates wish for
nourishment in form of more information
 arched eyebrows
 licking lips
 wrinkling nose
 scratching head
 ruffling hair
 Doubt:

 pacing
 hand over nose
 eyes closed
 brow furrowed
 arched eyebrows
 frown
 scratching in front of ear
 rubbing eyes
 hand to face gestures (evaluative)
 pacing with head down and hands behind back or just
standing—unwise to interrupt a person thus engaged
 scratching head
 pinching bridge of nose, especially with head lowered
 Suspicion, secretiveness:
 folded arms, moving away
from another
 crossed legs
 head tilted forward
 rubbing nose
 lack of eye contact
 hand covering mouth
 scratching in front of ear
 frown
 stolen look, sideways
glance
 ``poker face''
 deception indicated by
lack of eye contact
 looking at floor
 frequent swallowing
 wetting lips
 throat clearing
 scratching head
 Anxiety:

 nail biting
 finger movement
 sighing
 hand wringing
 rapid, twitchy movements
 clearing throat
 tremors, especially knees
 heavy breathing
 voice strained
 lips quivering
 rapid eye movement
 rigidity
 crossed fingers
 chewing on things
 Defensiveness:

 hands in pocket
 hands behind back
 clenched hands
 folded arms (can be reinforced by making fists)
 crossed legs
 body twisted away, moving away, sitting back
 looking at door
 head tilted forward, possibly squinting
 stalling for time by cleaning glasses, rearranging, etc.
 hand rubbing back of neck.
 Dominating:

 elevating self, like standing when others

are sitting
 taking a different posture than others in a group,
especially hands behind head
 sitting straddling the chair
 standing with arms spread and hands gripping
desk or table
 loud voice or low voice carefully enunciated
 standing or walking with hands behind back and
chin up
 Superior and subordinate:

 the superior usually has hand on top in a handshake while the

person who is subordinate offers his hand with palm up

 the superior makes the motion to terminate the encounter

 the superior can violate the subordinate's space, and can express
doubt, evaluation, domineering gestures

 the subordinate is more likely to signify self–control, anxiety,

defensiveness gesture clusters

 when putting feet on desk the superior should recognize that

subordinates dislike this gesture, superiors pretend to ignore it, and
equals take little note of it
 Gestures to take note of.. Arm gestures

Defensive
Negative
Nervous
Comfort
Listening
 Cross legged gesture

 Prefer privacy

 Nervous

 Defensive
 Points to ponder
• Dress well as the office protocol demands. Never forget
to wear a SMILE.
• Greet upfront
• A calm posture, A brisk walk, A straight posture (sitting)
• Be diplomatic and pleasant in answering queries,retaining
your calm face
• Keep your work area spic and span
• Avoid informal gestures like hugging , laughing loudly ,
clapping (while talking), etc.
• Follow the timelines.
• A proper eye contact should be there
• A proper distance has to be maintained, while talking
(especially with women) also avoid being overly helpful.
• Follow order in taking seats
• Be respectful towards all , especially towards ladies
• Avoid sitting in a cross-legged position
• Avoid yawning , nose digging and blowing, audibly
hiccupping, burping and farting
• Avoid looking at the watch every now and then
• Avoid extra body movements , like scratching, being
clumsy while getting up or sitting down
 Badmouth about previous employers/professors
(displaying anger)
 Use the Power Vocabulary:
Please, Thank You, Excuse me, I am Curious , While…, I
appreciate, I understand what you say, eliminate “but”,
and, sure, I wonder……
 Avoid chewing gum or smell like smoke
 Avoid Gaffe
 Folding your arms or forcing a cough
 Swinging your foot or leg