customizable courseware

Anger Management
 Agenda
8:30-8:45 Session One: Introduction and Course Overview
8:45-9:00 Icebreaker: Bingo
9:00-9:30 Session Two: What is Anger?
9:30-10:15 Session Three: Managing Your Anger
10:15-10:30 Break
10:30-12:00 Session Four: The Anger Process
12:00-1:00 Lunch
1:00-1:20 Energizer: In and Out
1:20-1:45 Session Five: How Does Anger Affect Thinking?
1:45-3:00 Session Six: Managing Anger
3:00-3:40 Session Seven: Communicating Better
3:40-4:00 Session Eight: Behavior Types
4:00-4:15 Session Nine: Taking Control
4:15-4:30 Workshop Wrap-Up
 Session One: Course Overview

• Be better able to recognize how anger

affects your body, your minds and your
behavior.
• Be better able to use the five-step method to
break old patterns and replace them with a
model for assertive anger.
• Be better able to control your own emotions
when faced with other peoples’ anger.
• Be better able to identify ways to help other
people safely manage some of their
repressed or expressed anger.
 
 
  Session Two: What is Anger?
 

 
 
 
  “Out of control, you are at the mercy of your anger…you
need a new kind of relationship with your emotions,
one where you run them instead of them running you.”

Maria Arapakis
 
 
  Session Two: What is Anger?
 

 
  To understand and develop the skills associated
  with anger management, think of anger as five
 
interrelated dimensions, all operating
simultaneously.

• Our thoughts when we are angry

• The emotions that our anger arouses
• The ways we let others know that we are angry
• How we experience the world when we are angry
• How we act when we are angry
 
  Session Three:
 
  Managing Your Anger
 
  • In addition to its cost to your relationships, anger can
  also be bad for your health.
  • It isn’t the anger that is the problem, it’s how we
express our anger.

Things we see as pay-offs:

• Reduce stress
• Hide emotional pain
• Get attention
• Punish and get revenge
• Change the behaviour of others/get people to do what
you want
 
  Session Four:
 
  The Anger Process
 
  Usually the trigger is the thoughts that are
 
  going around in your head. Trigger thoughts
can make your anger worse. They can create
quite a bonfire.
 
 
  Session Four: The Anger Process
 

  Common trigger thoughts can include:

• People ignore my needs.
 
• People don’t see or understand me.
  • People demand or expect too much of me.
  • People are inconsiderate/selfish/impolite.
• People take advantage of me or use me.
• People try to control or manipulate me.
• People are stupid and thoughtless.
• People criticize me.
• People keep me waiting.
• People are uncaring and ungenerous.
• People are threatening me or coercing me.
• People are mean or cruel.
• People are unfair or unjust.
• People are lazy or don’t do their share.
• I’m helpless. I’m stuck and I have no choice.
• People are incompetent/irresponsible/disrespectful.
• People don’t help.
• People don’t do the right thing.
 
 
  Session Four: The Anger Process
 

 
Here are some actions you can take:
 
 
• Take a deep breath and relax.
  • Stay calm. No sarcasm, no attacks.
• Take a time-out. Cool off, then come back and deal
with it.
• Break it down. Anger often comes from lumping
things together.
• Positive self-talk often helps, too.
 
  Session Five:
 
  How Does Anger Affect Thinking?
 
  • Anger affects your thinking. Memory,
 
  creativity, and concentration weaken.
Your thoughts become accusatory,
exaggerated and rigid. You treat
assumptions as facts; you may
become irrational.
• To help you determine whether anger
is your best response, ask yourself: Is
my anger helping me or hurting me?
 
  Session Five:
 
  How Does Anger Affect Thinking?
 
  • Magnifying
 
 
• Destructive labelling
• Imperative thinking
• Making assumptions about what other
people are thinking
 
 
  Session Six: Managing Anger
 

 
  • Softened my language and didn’t use swear words.
  • Lowered my voice.
 
• Suggested an alternative solution or compromise.
• Used “I” messages.
• Tried to express my understanding of another
person’s point of view.
• Withdrew from a situation.
• Agreed to disagree and let it go.
• Described a problem without blaming other person.
• Tried to listen to the other person to better
understand what they wanted.
• Tried to change the subject so things wouldn’t get
worse.
 
 
  Session Six: Managing Anger
 

 
  • Toes like a ballerina
 
 
• Toes to your head
• Tight bottom
• Coat of armour
• Bow and arrow
• Charles Atlas
• Turtle
• Walnut
• Miser’s Purse
• Ugly Face
 
 
  Session Seven: Communicating
 

 
 
  The Four-Step Method:
 
• Step 1: When you…
• Step 2: The effects are…
• Step 3: I feel…
• Step 4: I prefer/would like…
 
 
  Session Seven: Communicating
 

 
  • There are really only two types of questions we can
  ask.
  • Closed questions are the kind that can/indeed/must be
answered with short answers.
• Open questions are those where the listener is given a
chance to explain, to tell how they feel, or offer
suggestions.
 
 
  Session Seven: Communicating
 

 
 
• Intent: A powerful key to bringing out the best in
  people at their worst is to give them the benefit of
  the doubt, and assume a positive intent behind their
problem behaviour.
• Identifying Criteria: Criteria are the standards by
which we measure whether ideas are good or not,
• Non-Verbal Messages: The messages sent by our
body language.
 
 
  Session Eight: Behaviour Types
 

 
 
 
 
• Passive
• Manipulative
• Assertive
• Aggressive
 
 
  Session Nine: Taking Control
 

 
 
  • Keep yourself in a positive mood.
 
• Induce positive effect in others.
• Find everyday uppers.
• Offer help whenever you can.
• Be kind.