Evolving Sex

Workshop
CREATING CLOSER BONDS
Sad News:
ABOUT 80% OF PEOPLE TEND
TO TREAT OTHERS WITH
MORE COMPASSION THAN
THEY DO THEMSELVES
Self-Care Guide
• Keeping yourself healthy is essential in your relationship...in order to
have a healthy stable relationship you must learn to love and take care
of yourself first! Loving yourself is key.
• Making sure you're giving your mind and body the attention it needs
to stay healthy.
• Eating a well-balanced diet
• Getting enough rest/sleep 
• Staying physically active/exercising
• Good Hygiene
• Managing stress levels (stress kills)
• Rewarding yourself 
• Make passionate love to yourself
The Birds And
The Bees
 The vagina is the canal that’s connected to
the uterus, the vagina is stretchable, in a
relaxed state like an inflated balloon in a
relaxed state. During arousal it becomes
larger to make space for objects of
pleasure.This passageway for birth and a
penetrable organ of pleasure during sexual
Vulva Vs Vagina activity, isn’t that interesting? The vulva
refers to the delicious parts of the outside
of the vagina including the outer lips, inner
lips, clitoral glans, clitoral hood, urethral
opening, vaginal opening and mons/pubic
mound. Because of the relationship to the
clitoris this outer region is a hotbed for
orgasmic activity.
No Two Lips Are Alike

• Use a mirror to examine your vulva, remember what you call your
parts
• Experiement with stimulating your clitoral glans. What kind of touch
do you like?
• Try stimulating your perineum (alone or with a partner)
 All About His Pecker
• Men get well-acquainted with their penis starting at a young age when the random erections and morning wood
arrives with puberty. Boys have really no issue with masturbation and starting at a young age masturbation
becomes a routine for them. Men are aware of their penis: urethral meatus (pee hole) the head, shaft, testes (balls)
and the perineum (gooch). Features of their penis they quickly discover with veins, length, girth, color of penis,
sperm (cum) they produce. Male sexuality is more explicit and just begins with the penis, many men have a range
of erogenous zones and full-body orgasms usually require that you pay attention to these oft-neglected pleasure
spots. The penis is a sensitive organ that varies from man to man the size, shape, color and thickness just like a
woman’s vulva. The prostate is often compared to the female G-spot and is located between the bladder against the
front wall of the anus. It produces a milky white fluid that helps to carry and sustain sperm. The prostate gland is
in his anus and can be stimulated with a finger or a sex toy (made to stimulate prostate directly). You can also
access the prostate through the perineum (gooch) by massaging with some pressure indirectly gives you the same
kind earth shattering, toes curling orgasms that the prostate provides. The new sex resolution brings out the best
pleasure for everyone! Many straight men and many move are experiment with anal play/anal sex to experience
the mind-blowing orgasms that the prostate provides when penetrated. Many straight couples engage in the male
sexuality to a new level letting him be penetrated and not be called “gay” is the thing of the past. Anal play/ Anal
sex is no longer taboo to either sex it’s all about what feels good in the new sex arua that really matters!
Couples Communication
About Sex
 First Goal 

Building a habit of talking about

sex without shame and
embarressment 
Communication
About Sex
Will use a powerful exercise to
make it super easy to
communicate with your partner
about sex

Talking Out Loud
We're going to learn how to voice our needs
and do it easily. Most people find it difficult
to talk about sex. I noticed there are at least
three reasons for that:
Q: Do you ever feel embarressed
talking about sex?
1) Shame: 'indecent' or 'taboo
topic in our culture
2) Can't find proper words:
Need to develop our sexual
vocobulary
3) Habits:discussing
shopping, cooking etc...is
familiar. It's a matter of
habit. Discussing sex,
reading sex education texts,
or listen to podcasts, it will
make it easier to discuss!
The "Mirror"
Method
THIS METHOD WILL HELP YOU TALK ABOUT
DESIRES, OR SHARING FANTASIES, OR
SAYING WORDS REALTED TO SEX.
 Stand Stand in front of the mirror and say words or phrases
aloud, looking at your reflection. Observing your facial

in expressions allows you to recreate a situation close to a

conversation with another person.

How to
List List the things that turn you on in sex, and that you would

facilitate it like to change in sex. Practice saying what you wrote.

Use You can use the "mirror' method in other life situations
Erotic Talk 
AKA
'Dirty Talk'
Which Words Turn You On?
Perform Task Alone
Make a list of words and phrases
that turn you on, or you like to
say or hear from your partner.
Also, write down ideas, words
and phrases that you would like
to add
With A Partner
Together with a partner, write
down different words and
expressions that you can use in
bed. Each one should make a list
and check the options they like
the most.
 ☺Listening to
☺To have your
certain
partner or
compliments from
yourself call your
a partner or
body parts certain
making them
names?
yourself?
During Sex Do
You Like:
☺Do the talking
yourself, or listen
☺To role-play
to the words of
certain situations
you partner, or
and roles?
have a dialodgue
together?
 Give Positive Feedback

Be Honest
Why Do You Need To
Talk About Sex After Ask Questions
Sex

What did you like about sex with each other?

Invite your partner to make a list of things

you both enjoyed.
Sexual Fantasies

•Common Sexual Fantasies are:

•Oral sex
•Anal Sex
•Bondage
•Threesomes
•Sex In Public
•Group Sex 
•Role-Playing
•Dominant & Submissive 
 Remember the Are there any
list of common components of
fantasies. What your fantasies
Choose a time images appeal to
you?
that you are
ashamed of?
and think about
the sexual Have you ever
fantasies: What do you
been turned on
by scenes from
think about when
movies or
you masturbate?
descriptions
from books?
 Make a list of all your sexual fantasies and have your
partner do the same. Bring your lists together and prioritize
them into 3 separate piles.

1. Fantasies you would like to make a reality

Fantasy-Reality 2. Fantasies you just want to discuss but, not act out
Game
3. Fantasies that turn you off

4. Maybe another time, not right now

 Sexual Fantasy Worksheet

Think of six sexual fantasies that

you desire and that arouse you.
Knowing your fantasies is part of *Are you going to implement any of
the fantasies into your sex life or just
your sexuality. If you know what
keep a fantasy? Will you share this
turns you on the better.  worksheet with your partner?*
Tip: Masturbating helps you
fantasize, and you learn what turns
you on more by yourself.
Libido & Arousal
BALANCE YOUR LIBIDO LIKE A
PRO
 1 IN 3 WOMEN
HAVE LOW LIBIDO
Low libido MOST POPULAR
SEXUAL HEALTH
PROBLEM
 Has there been a decrease in your
sexual desire & interest?

Sexual Desire Would you like your level of sexual

Assessment desire to increase?

Does desire cause personal or

relationship distress to you?
The Sexual Response Cycle 

Kind of old school things work differently and don't always start with desire. Many women,
especially in long-term relationships, didn't feel desire until some erotic talk, cuddling and
touching was underway.

Spontaneous and Responsive Desire come along.

Spontaneous Sex Desire- comes out of the blue. This is what we often see if movies and porn

Responsive Sexual Desire-Starts after something sexy & intimate happens and then you're in
the mood.
The SES/SIS Theory

•One of them works as an accelerator and the

other as a brake pedal. In simple words, our
nervous system has a sexual excitement
system (SES), which constantly scans the
world around us for sexual stimuli, and a
sexual inhibition system (SIS) watching for
factors that require to turn off or at least
weaken the excitement.
 SES/SIS 

We all have a different set of

A woman usually has a lot more
stimuli and stressors; we have
factors to push the brake pedal.
different sensitivity to SES and
She worries about unwanted
SIS systems. Some people only
pregnancy, low self-esteem, fear
need a trickle to experience their
for her reputation, frustrated about
desire, while others need a
telling her partners about her
combination of conditions and
needs etc...
vice versa.
Your 'Love Work"

Including things that are

not related to sex. This Look at the list and think
could be experience about things you can do
Make a list of your
about how your vulva to make each of these
stressors, anything that
looks, unpleasant items bother you less. If
makes you anxious, when
memories of your first you have a partner,
you're masturbating or
sexual experience, or discuss the list with them
having sex.
thought that there is too and ask for advice or
little time for sleep or help, if necessary.
fear of losing your job.
New Approach
EVOLVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Couples Challenages

Many couples faces challenages throughout their relationship. Changing

ways you tackle your challenages will bring your relationship to new
heights. How many of you feel disconnected, unheard, unloved? What
are your 3 biggest concerns in your relationship? Communication, trust
issues, lack of intimacy and much more. External stressors can cause
relationships problems like financial issues, work, the kids, family
etc...being able to limit the outside stress isn't in your control. How you
manage your stress and deal with these problems are going to reflect on
your relationship. What can we fix now?
Fight Fair Assessment

• After a fight, how quickly do you make up? 

Tip: You should make-up with 24-48 hours
• Do your fights repeat themselves?
Tip: If the same fights are being brought up repeatedly you maybe
communicating in the wrong ways.
• How often do you fight?
What are ways you can fight appropreiately:  
Communication Skills

Active Listening Effective Speaking

• Listen without interrupting
when your partner is speaking
• Don't react, wait until it's your
turn to talk
• Make eye contact
• Don't bash, blame or critize
your partner
• Make "I" statements instead of
"You" statements
• Make eye contact
• Stay on topic of the issue
Communication Skills (continued)

After your partner is done speaking, summarize of what your partner said just in
your own words.

Repeating back what they said will have you understanding exactly what their
trying to express. (A lot of us take something the wrong way or view it different,
summarizing gets rid of that confusion.)

After summarizing it's your turn to speak. Remember use "effective

speaking" This will really help get your point across without a screaming match.
The Power Of Oral
Sex
TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
Tongue Work

Oral sex brings honoring to you lover in a more intimate way. Taking your
time in giving oral pleasure should be essential to your love-making. Do
you give oral sex the attention it truly deserves? You can always learn new
oral skills to keep your partner wanting more and returning the favor. Many
women I work with don't care to give fellatio to their men because of their
bad gag reflex or they just don't like it in general. Many men I work with
say they don't want to perform cunniligus on her because she might smell
down there, or they don't like the taste. So many couples are missing out on
oral sex due to excuses that are not good ones at all. These reasons can we
worked around.
Fellatio
Make love to his cock with your mouth like
you will never see it again
Gag Reflex: Use numbing spray for the back
of your throat or use your hand to control the
depth 
Make eye contact while making love with
your mouth
More spit the better
 The tip of the cock is highly sensitive so when sucking or licking focus
on this area

Don't neglect the balls, caress, lick and suck on them

Anal play can be really arousing to many men, try it

Fellatio Tips While giving him head make sure you give him something to look at like

and Techniques have your titties out or your ass up in the air

Talk dirty to him will really maximize his orgasm

Make intimate sounds as you suck him (letting him know that you're
enjoying yourself too)

Swallow his semen, if you don't do that then have him cum on you
wherever he wants to (your face, tits, stomach or ass)
Cunnilingus
She Deserves Oral Sex

1 2 3 4 5 6
Make sure you explore Tease her inner thighs Slap or spit on her clit Don't focus on the clit Let her know how Talk dirty to her, ask
her whole-body and go slowly through if she comfortable with the whole time explore much you enjoy this, her what her fantasies
building anticipation this process it her vulva (outer lips, tasting her, her vulva is are
and building her arousal inner lips, vaginal entry, beautiful
pubic mound, clitoris
Intimacy
HOW TO BUILD INTIMACY 
Importance of Intimacy

Intimacy is like a skill; it can always be taught. The way I view intimacy is
different from how I view sex. Sex is just like a one-night stand, while intimacy is
a deeper connection of love. You must over time pull back those layers like an
onion to seek its true potential. 

Without intimacy a relationship would not survive. The types of intimacy

included: spiritual, intelluctual, physcial, sexual and emotional.
Ways to build intimacy

CUDDLING KISS SHOWER READ OR WATCH LEARN A NEW

TOGETHER EACHOTHER TOGETHER EROTICA ACTIVITY
PASSIONATELY TOGETHER TOGETHER
 Sexual Positions
DIFFERENT TYPES OF SEXUAL POSITIONS
Backdoor Fun
EXPLORING ANAL PLAY &
ANAL SEX
 Toys for Grown-ups
DISCOVERING DIFFERENT SEX TOYS AND SPICING UP YOUR
SEX LIFE
Self-Pleasure Exercises
WALK THROUGH EXERCISES FOR WOMEN
And So Much More!