When Forgiveness Seems

Impossible
 So what does it mean to forgive?

Forgetting?
No more pain?
No more anger?
Letting someone off
the hook?
Injustice?
Unfairness?
DEFINITION

FORGIVENESS is the
loving, voluntary cancellation
of a debt.
FORGIVENESS is both a gift
and a process.
Luke 7:36-47

 And one of the Pharisees desired him to eat with him.

And he went into the house of the Pharisee and sat
down to meat. And behold a woman that was in the
city, a sinner, when she knew that he sat at meat in
the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of
ointment. And standing behind at his feet she began to
wash his feet with tears and wiped them with the hairs
of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them
with the ointment. And the Pharisee, who had invited
him, seeing it, spoke within himself, saying: This man,
if he were if a prophet, would know surely who and
what manner of woman this is that touches him, that
she is a sinner. 
Luke 7:36-47
 And Jesus answering, said to him: Simon, I have somewhat to
say to you. But he said: Master, say it. A certain creditor had two
debtors: the one owed five hundred pence and the other fifty. And
whereas they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both.
Which therefore of the two loves him most? Simon answering,
said: I suppose that he to whom he forgave most. And he said to
him: You have judged rightly. And turning to the woman, he said
unto Simon: Do you see this woman? I entered into your house:
you gave me no water for my feet. But she with tears has
washed my feet; and with her hairs has wiped them. You gave
me no kiss. But she, since she came in, has not ceased to kiss
my feet. My head with oil you did not anoint. But she with
ointment has anointed my feet. Wherefore, I say to you: Many
sins are forgiven her, because she has loved much. But to whom
less is forgiven, he loves less.
Luke 7:36-47
FORGIVENESS ---The Pattern

Luke 7:36-47
Luke 17:3-4

 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother

sins against you, rebuke him: and if he
do repents, forgive him. And if he sins
against you seven times in a day, and
seven times in a day returns to you,
saying: I repent! You shall forgive him.
FORGIVENESS ---The Pattern

The Offense
The Confrontation
The Repentance
The Forgiveness
The Restoration
ONE: The Offense
Matthew 22:37-40

 Jesus said: You shall love the Lord your God

with your whole heart and with your whole soul
and with your whole mind. This is the greatest
and the first commandment. And the second is
like to this: You shall love your neighbor as
yourself. On these two commandments
depends the whole law and the prophets.
Romans 13:8

 Owe no man anything, but to love one

another. For he that loves his neighbor
has fulfilled the law.
SIN = any failure to LOVE
TWO: The Confrontation

 To REBUKE is to "to
honor," or "to give
due weight or
value." To hold
people accountable
for their actions is a
way of honoring
them.
THREE: The Repentance

 To REPENT means
“to change one’s
mind”
2 Samuel 12:13-23
 And David said to Nathan: I have sinned
against the Lord. And Nathan said to David:
The Lord also has taken away your sin: you
shall not die. Nevertheless, because you have
given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to
blaspheme, for this thing, the child that is born
to you, shall surely die. And Nathan returned
to his house. The Lord also struck the child
which the wife of Urias had borne to David,
and his life was despaired of. And David
besought the Lord for the child: and David
kept a fast, and going in by himself lay upon
the ground.
 And the ancients of his house came, to make
him rise from the ground: but he would not,
neither did he eat meat with them. And it came
to pass on the seventh day that the child died:
and the servants of David feared to tell him,
that the child was dead. For they said: Behold
when the child was yet alive, we spoke to him,
and he would not hearken to our voice: how
much more will he afflict himself if we tell him
that the child is dead? But when David saw his
servants whispering, he understood that the
child was dead: and he said to his servants: Is
the child dead? They answered him He is
dead.
 Then David arose from the ground, and washed and
anointed himself: and when he had changed his
apparel, he went into the house of the Lord: and
worshipped, and then he came into his own house,
and he called for bread, and ate. And his servants
said to him: What thing is this that you have done?
You fasted and wept for the child, while it was alive,
but when the child was dead, you rose up, and ate
bread. And he said: While the child was yet alive, I
fasted and wept for him: for I said: Who knows
whether the Lord may not give him to me, and the
child may live? But now that he is dead, why should I
fast? Shall I be able to bring him back any more? I
shall go to him rather: but he shall not return to me.
FOUR: The Forgiveness

 Forgiveness is the loving, voluntary

cancellation of a debt
Galatians 6:7-8

 Be not deceived: God is not mocked. For

what things a man shall sow, those also
shall he reap. For he that sows in his
flesh of the flesh also shall reap
corruption. But he that sows in the spirit
of the spirit shall reap life everlasting.
FIVE: The Restoration

 Restoration in our human relationships

gives us a finite taste of the joy God
experiences when we in repentance
come to Him admitting our sin.
Nehemiah 9:17
 And they would not hear, and they
remembered not your wonders which
you had done for them. And they
hardened their necks, and in their
rebellion they appointed a leader to
return to their bondage. But you, a
forgiving God, gracious, and merciful,
longsuffering, and full of compassion, did
not forsake them.
Romans 5:8-11
 But God commends his charity towards us:
because when as yet we were sinners according to
the time, Christ died for us. Much more therefore,
being now justified by his blood, shall we be saved
from wrath through him. For if, when we were
enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death
of his Son: much more, being reconciled, shall we
be saved by his life. And not only so: but also we
glory in God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, by
whom we have now received reconciliation.
Colossians 2:12-19
 Buried with him in baptism: in whom also you are
risen again by the faith of the operation of God
who has raised him up from the dead. And you,
when you were dead in your sins and the
uncircumcision of your flesh, he has quickened
together with him, forgiving you all offences:
Blotting out the handwriting of the decree that was
against us, which was contrary to us. And he has
taken the same out of the way, fastening it to the
cross. And despoiling the principalities and powers,
he has exposed them confidently in open show,
triumphing over them in himself….
Colossians 2:12-19
 …Let no man therefore judge you in food or in
drink or in respect of a festival day or of the new
moon or of the sabbaths, which are a shadow of
things to come: but the body is of Christ. Let no
man seduce you, willing in humility and religion of
angels, walking in the things which he has not
seen, in vain puffed up by the sense of his flesh:
And not holding the head, from which the whole
body, by joints and bands, being supplied with
nourishment and compacted, grows into the
increase of God.
The COST of FORGIVENESS

 1 Peter 3:18
 Because Christ also died once for our sins,
the just for the unjust: that he might offer us
to God, being put to death indeed in the
flesh, but enlivened in the spirit,
The COST of FORGIVENESS
 Romans 12:17-21
 To no man rendering evil for evil. Providing good
things, not only in the sight of God but also in the
sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as is in
you, have peace with all men. Revenge not
yourselves, my dearly beloved; but give place unto
wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine, I will
repay, says the Lord. But if the enemy be hungry,
give him to eat; if he thirst, give him to drink. For,
doing this, you shall heap coals of fire upon his
head. Be not overcome by evil: but overcome evil
by good.
When facing forgiveness, think
of it as the process of a lifetime
 Matthew 18:21-22
 Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord,
how often shall my brother offend against
me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?
Jesus said to him: I say not to you, till
seven times; but till seventy times seven
times.
When you are the offender, be
careful not to demand
forgiveness.
 Psalm 51:19
 A sacrifice to God is an afflicted spirit: a
contrite and humbled heart, O God, you will
not despise.
In anticipation of future hurts,
begin developing a heart of
forgiveness.

 There are at least four qualities of

character that can help us to develop a
forgiving spirit toward those who harm
us.
1. A passion for more than what
the here-and-now can provide.
 Matthew 5:6
 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst
after righteousness, for they will be filled"
Matthew 5:39-42
  But I say to you not to resist evil: but if
one strike you on your right cheek, turn
to him also the other: And if a man will
contend with you in judgment, and take
away your coat, let go your cloak also
unto him. And whosoever will force you
one mile, go with him other two. 42 Give
to him that asks of you, and from him
that would borrow of you turn not away.
Luke 6:32-36

 And if you love them that love you, what

thanks are to you? For sinners also love
those that love them. And if you do good
to them who do good to you, what
thanks are to you? For sinners also do
this. And if you lend to them of whom
you hope to receive, what thanks are to
you? For sinners also lend to sinners, for
to receive as much….
Luke 6:32-36

 ….But love your enemies: do good, and

lend, hoping for nothing thereby: and
your reward shall be great, and you shall
be the sons of the Highest. For he is
kind to the unthankful and to the evil. Be
therefore merciful, as your Father also is
merciful.
2. A brokenness through sorrow
and grief.
 2 Corinthians 7:10
 For the sorrow that is according to God
works penance, steadfast unto salvation:
but the sorrow of the world works death.
3. A refusal to seek revenge.
 Revenge is natural. Undeserved
kindness is not. Those who live apart
from grace live in various stages of
bitterness, guilt, rage, fear,
separation, and loneliness. The
poison of an unforgiving heart is not
merely offered to the enemy but is
swallowed first by the one who is
holding the bottle.
Romans 12:19

 Revenge not yourselves, my dearly

beloved; but give place unto wrath, for it
is written: Revenge is mine, I will repay,
says the Lord.
4. A courageous desire to love
others as God has loved us.
 There is no greater reason to love and
forgive others than the realization of how
kind and merciful God has been to us.
Luke 7:40-48
 And Jesus answering, said to him: Simon, I have somewhat to
say to you. But he said: Master, say it. A certain creditor had two
debtors: the one owed five hundred pence and the other fifty. And
whereas they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both.
Which therefore of the two loves him most? Simon answering,
said: I suppose that he to whom he forgave most. And he said to
him: You have judged rightly. And turning to the woman, he said
unto Simon: Do you see this woman? I entered into your house:
you gave me no water for my feet. But she with tears has
washed my feet; and with her hairs has wiped them. You gave
me no kiss. But she, since she came in, has not ceased to kiss
my feet. My head with oil you did not anoint. But she with
ointment has anointed my feet. Wherefore, I say to you: Many
sins are forgiven her, because she has loved much. But to whom
less is forgiven, he loves less. And he said to her: Your sins are
forgiven you.
Matthew 18:23-35
 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened to a king, who
would take an account of his servants. And when he had
begun to take the account, one was brought to him, that
owed him ten thousand talents. And as he had not
wherewith to pay it, his lord commanded that he should be
sold, and his wife and children, and all that he had, and
payment to be made. But that servant falling down,
besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will
pay you all. And the lord of that servant being moved with
pity, let him go and forgave him the debt. But when that
servant had gone out, he found one of his fellow-servants
that owed him an hundred pence: and laying hold of him,
he throttled him, saying:
Matthew 18:23-35
 Pay what you owe. And his fellow-servant falling down,
besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will
pay you all. And he would not: but went and cast him into
prison, till he paid the debt. Now his fellow servants seeing
what was done, were very much grieved, and they came,
and told their lord all that was done. Then his lord called
him: and said to him: You wicked servant, I forgave you all
the debt, because you besought me: Should you not then
have had compassion also on your fellow servant, even as
I had compassion on you? And his lord being angry,
delivered him to the torturers until he paid all the debt. So
also shall my heavenly Father do to you, if you forgive not
every one his brother from your hearts.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

  But all things are of God, who has

reconciled us to himself by Christ and
has given to us the ministry of
reconciliation. For God indeed was in
Christ, reconciling the world to himself,
not imputing to them their sins. And he
has placed in us the word of
reconciliation.
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT
FORGIVENESS
 1. Minimizing The Offense.
 2. Forgiving And Forgetting.
 Psalm 79:8
 Oh, do not remember former iniquities
against us! Let Your tender mercies come
speedily to meet us, for we have been
brought very low.
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT
FORGIVENESS
 3. Forgiving For Your Own Sake.
 1 John 1:9
 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us
from all unrighteousness
A CASE STUDY OF FORGIVENESS
(Genesis 37-50)
A PARABLE OF FORGIVENESS
Luke 15:11-31
A Repentant Heart.
 The prodigal son demonstrated a repentant heart
that was broken when he came to his senses and
decided to return home to his father. Repentance is
a brokenness and change of life-direction marked
by:
  Hunger for restoration. He longed for something
more than what he had available to him in his sin.
He longed to go home (v.16).
  Humble confession. He willingly acknowledged
his selfish violation of love first toward God and
then toward others (vv.18-19).
  Plea for mercy. He recognized that he deserved
nothing and pleaded for mercy, to serve as a slave,
without a demand for restoration to his previous
position in the family (v.21).
A Forgiving Heart.
 It is the father in the story who represents the
unexpected forgiving heart of God in response to
genuine repentance that is marked by:
  Hopeful anticipation. The father never gave up hoping for
his son's repentance and return home to be restored to him
again. He was persevering in prayer and intently looking for
the day he saw the familiar form of his son on the horizon
(v.20). The hopeful yearning for restoration was never
quenched in the heart of the father.
A Forgiving Heart.
  Courageous love. The father was willing to humble
himself and not conform to the cultural mandate of his day to
make his son grovel in the dirt. Instead, in a spontaneous,
jubilant act of love, he ran to embrace his son (v.20).
  Gracious mercy. Forgiveness was joyfully granted
because he sensed the repentance in the heart of his son,
and he restored him to a position of sonship that was
unheard of (v.22).
  Celebration of repentance. The father planned a party to
celebrate the return of his son. His son was heading in a
direction that brought separation and death to their
relationship, but now he was alive and reconciled to his
father (vv. 23-24).
An Unforgiving Heart.
 The older son (representative of the Pharisees who
were listening to the parable) is a study in the
stubborn refusal to forgive that is characterized by:
  Hardness. There was an unwillingness on his part to
consider restoration of his younger foolish brother. He felt
justifiably cold toward his brother. And he was outraged that
his father would still want a relationship with a son who had
so deeply offended him (v.28).
An Unforgiving Heart.
  Demanding of revenge. His focus was
only on immediately punishing his brother
for what he had done rather than focusing
on what had changed in his heart. He
wanted to make his brother pay for what he
had done. He had no mercy and no desire
for reconciliation (v.28).
An Unforgiving Heart.
  Arrogant refusal to celebrate. The older son
withheld relationship from both his brother and
his father (v.28). He missed an opportunity for
joy and celebration because he was preoccupied
with himself. He missed the loving heart of the
father that longs for restoration. Instead, he
angrily withdrew in self-justified indignation and
smugness over being right, and he refused to
recognize that what he was doing was causing
just as much pain and separation between
himself and his father as was caused by his
younger brother.
 The refusal to forgive indicates a
rebellious, stubborn heart that has not
drunk deeply of the water of grace and
mercy at the well of God's forgiveness
Luke. 7:47
  Wherefore, I say to you: Many sins are
forgiven her, because she has loved much.
But to whom less is forgiven, he loves less.
2 Peter 1:5-7

  And you, employing all care, minister in

your faith, virtue: And in virtue,
knowledge: And in knowledge,
abstinence: and in abstinence, patience:
and in patience, godliness: 7 And in
godliness, love of brotherhood: and in
love of brotherhood, charity.
2 Peter 1:8-9

 "For if these things are yours and

abound, you will be neither barren
nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our
Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks
these things is shortsighted, even to
blindness, and has forgotten that he
was cleansed from his old sins"
THE PARADOX OF FORGIVING
LOVE
 Romans 12:9
 "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor
what is evil. Cling to what is good“
 1 John 4:17
 For then, and only then, is love "made
complete among us so that we will have
confidence on the day of judgment,
because in this world we are like Him"