Communication Skills

Seminar

Boğazıçı University
April 22, 2004
Tom Atkinson
Seminar Agenda
Thursday, April 22: Listening Skills
Thursday, May 6: Writing Skills
Thursday, May 13: Presentation Skills: Preparation
Thursday, May 27? Presentation Skills: Presenting

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Communication Skills Overview

Effective communication skills are a

critical element in your career and
personal lives.

We all must use a variety of

communication techniques to both
understand and be understood.

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Most common ways to communicate

ma ges
is ual I
V
pe a king
S

Bod
y Lan
Writing g uag
e

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Communication Goals
To change behavior

To get and give

To get action
Information

To persuade To ensure understanding

Source: CGAP Direct

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Critical success factor for life

The majority of your

perceived ability comes from
how you communicate 30% What you know

70% How you

communicate it
Source: CGAP Direct

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Listening Skills

Boğazıçı University
April 22, 2004
Tom Atkinson
Agenda
1. Motivation
2. How to Listen
3. Paraphrasing, Summarizing and
Questioning

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 Part 1
Motivation
Session Objectives
 Be able to:
 Describe reasons that communication fails
 List strategies to improve communication
 Paraphrase and summarize conversations
 Use appropriate questioning techniques

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Listening and Speaking are used a lot…

50%
45%
45%
40%
35%
30%
30%
25%
20%
16%
15%
9%
10%
5%
0%
Writing Reading Speaking Listening

Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson

… But not taught enough

50%
45%
45%
40%
Am
35% o un
30%
t tau 30%
gh
25% t
20%
16%
15%
9%
10%
5%
0%
Writing Reading Speaking Listening

Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson

Listening is needed everywhere…
 Listening skills form the basis of:
 Continued learning
 Teamwork skills
 Management skills
 Negotiation skills
 Emotional intelligence

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… But not practiced effectively

 70% of all communication is

 Misunderstood
 Misinterpreted
 Rejected
 Distorted
 Not heard

Source: CGAP Direct

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 Part 2
How to Listen
“Harry always was a poor listener.”
What if communication were not possible?

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Frustration and Chaos!

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Both children want the orange

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But without good listening, neither gets
what they want…

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Communication
Communication is the process of sending and
receiving information among people…
Feedback

receiver sender

SENDER RECEIVER

Source: CGAP Direct

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Messages not delivered due to “distortion”

Feedback

Sender Receiver

Distortion

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What causes distortion?
 Speaker  Listener
 Language  Perceptions
 Wordiness  Preconceived
 Semantics notions/expectations
 Emotions  Physical hearing problem
 Inflections  Speed of thought
 Personal interests
 Emotions
 Attention span
 No active listening!

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What do you think about?
I have something
really important to Maybe I should
tell you get a haircut

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30% of you aren’t paying
attention right now!
Clues that you are not listening
 Are you simply waiting for your turn to talk?
 Are you thinking about your reply before the
other person has finished talking?

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Listening and speaking require energy
 Listening takes. . .
 concentration and energy
 curiosity and open-mindedness
 analysis and understanding
 Speaking requires. . .
 sharp focus
 logical thinking
 clear phrasing
 crisp delivery

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How to be an active listener
 Set the stage
 Choose an appropriate physical environment
 Remove distractions
 Be open and accessible
 Maintain relaxed, open posture that shows concentration
 Ensure mutual understanding
 Reflect feelings
 Offer acknowledgements (say “uh-huh”)
 Paraphrase main ideas
 Interrupt to clarify
 Confirm next steps

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How to be an active listener
 Understand body language
 Observe position and posturing
 Make eye contact
 Consider expression and gestures
 Suspend judgment
 Concentrate
 Keep an open mind
 Hear the person out
 Do not react to emotive words

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Active Listening (not!)
 Behaviors that hinder effective listening
 Act distracted (look at your watch!)
 Tell your own story without acknowledging theirs
 Give no response
 Invalidate response, be negative
 Interrupt
 Criticize
 Diagnose what was said
 Give advice/solutions quickly
 Change the subject
 Reassure without acknowledgment
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Let’s practice
 Tell the person next to you about your
Research Project

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Tell me your stories
 Do you feel your partner understood you?
 What made your partner easy/hard to listen to?

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 Part 3
Paraphrasing, Summarizing and
Questioning
Techniques to improve listening skills

SUMMARIZE
SUMMARIZE
PARAPHRASE
PARAPHRASE
Pull
Pulltogether
together
Restate
Restatewhat
whatwas
was the
said themain
mainpoints
points
saidin
inyour
yourown
own of
ofaaspeaker
speaker
words
words

QUESTION
QUESTION
Challenge
Challengespeaker
speaker
to
tothink
thinkfurther,
further,
clarifying
clarifyingboth
bothyour
your
and
andtheir
their
understanding
understanding

Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson

Practice Paraphrasing
 Paraphrasing is simply  Use phrases such as:
restating what another
person has said in your
own words.
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 In other words…
 I gather that…
 If I understand what you
are saying…
 What I hear you saying
is…
 Pardon my interruption,
but let me see if I
understand you
correctly…
Tom Atkinson
Practice Summarizing
 Summarizing pulls
important ideas, facts or
data together.
 Useful for emphasizing key
points and setting the stage
for further discussion.
 The person summarizing
must listen carefully in
order to organize the
information systematically.
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 Try out these
summarizing phrases:
 “If I understand you
correctly, your main
concerns are…”
 “These seem to be the
key ideas you have
expressed… ”
Tom Atkinson
Two basic types of questions
1. Closed questions:
 Get a one-word response and inhibit thought.
 Questions begin with who, when and which
2. Open-ended questions:
 Invite unique thought, reflection or an explanation.
 Questions begin with how, what and how come (not why!).

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Practice Questioning
 Rephrase the following closed questions to
make them open-ended:

1. Are you feeling tired?

2. Isn’t it a nice day?
3. Was the last activity useful?
4. Is there anything bothering you?
5. So everything is fine, then?
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Let’s practice
 Tell the person next to you what you did last
weekend

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Questions?
Feedback
 Give an assessment of today’s session
 What did you like most and least?
 Assess the verbal presentation?
 Assess the slides?
 How useful do you think this topic will be for
future classes on communications?

tom.atkinson@alum.mit.edu
Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson