REVISING, PROOFREADING AND

EVALUATING
 OWAIS RIAZ
The Writing Process
 Improving
Improvingcontent
contentand
and
sentence
sentencestructure
structure
Revising May
Mayinvolve
involveadding,
adding,
cutting,
cutting,and
andrecasting.
recasting.

Correcting
Correctinggrammar,
grammar,
Proofreading spelling,
spelling,punctuation,
punctuation,
format,
format,and
andmechanics
mechanics
Concise Wording

Revise your messages to eliminate flabby

expressions.
Instead of this Try this
We are of the opinion that We think
Please feel free to Please
In addition to the above Also
At this point in time Now
Despite the fact that Although
Limit Long Lead-Ins

Instead of this Try this

This memo is to inform
you that all employees All employees
meet today. meet today.

I am writing this letter

Thanks to
to say thanks to
everyone who
everyone who voted. voted.
Drop Unnecessary Fillers

Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there

is/was and it is/was when used merely to take
up space.
Instead of this Try this
There was only one Only one employee
employees who should should be promoted.
be promoted.
It was Lisa and Jeff Lisa and Jeff were
who were honored. honored.
Revise the following sentences to avoid flabby
expressions, long lead-ins, and unnecessary
there is/it is fillers.

This e-mail message is to A new health

inform you that there is a benefit plan is
new health benefit plan available for
available for employees.Quick employees.
Check
I would like to take this We probably will
opportunity to inform win the contract.
everyone that in all
probability we expect to win
the contract.
Revise the following sentences to achieve
conciseness.

In addition to the above, Two contracts are

there are contracts that are also attached.
attached hereto.
Quick
Despite the fact that most Although most
information is posted onCheck
the information is posted
company intranet, please on the company
feel free to call whenever intranet, please call
necessary. whenever necessary.
 Remove Redundant Words

Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What

words could be omitted in these expressions?
advance warning necessary requisite
close proximity new beginning
exactly identical past history
filled to capacity refer back
final outcome serious danger
Remove Redundant Words

Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What

words could be omitted in these expressions?
Dump Trite Expressions

Trite and Outdated Modern

as per your request at your request
pursuant to your request at your request
attached hereto attached
under separate cover separately
 Jargon

Avoid technical terms and special terminology

that readers would not recognize.
Computer Jargon Alternative
queue list of documents waiting
to be printed
export transfer data from one
program to another
bandwidth Internet capacity
Is jargon ever permissible?
 Slang

Avoid slang (informal expressions with

arbitrary or extravagantly changed meanings).

to “bag on” to tease, to nag, or to

complain
clueless unaware, naïve
chill/chill out relax
Slang

An example from the world of Dilbert:

Clichés

Avoid clichés (overused expressions).

Substitute more precise words.

Instead of this Try this

Last but not least, you Finally, you should
should keep your nose work diligently.
to the grindstone.

We had reached the We could go no

end of our rope. further.
Revise the following sentences to avoid
redundancies, trite business expressions,
jargon, and slang.

Last but not least, the Finally, the attorney

exactly identical case.

Quick
attorney referred back to an referred to an
identical case.
Check
With a little advance With warning, we
warning, we could have sold could have sold out
out before our stocks tanked. before our stocks hit
bottom.
Revise the following sentences to avoid
redundancies, trite business expressions,
jargon, and slang.

Mr. Miller, who shoots Mr. Miller, who is

straight from the shoulder, straightforward,
demanded final completion demanded
by January 1. completion by
January 1.
Pursuant to your request, As you requested, a
enclosed please find a check check for Rs1500 is
for Rs1500. enclosed.
Buried Verbs

Revise verbs that have been converted to nouns.

Look
Lookforforwords
wordsending
endinginin
Tip tion
tionor
orment.
ment.Could
Couldthey
they
be
bemore
moreefficiently
efficientlyand
and
forcefully
forcefullyconverted
convertedtotoverbs?
verbs?
Buried Verbs

Instead of this Try this

The manager came to The manager
the realization that realized that
telecommuting made telecommuting
sense. made sense.
A job seeker must A job seeker must
make application apply before
before May 1. May 1.
Buried Verbs

Instead of this Try this

Once we have the Once we
establishment of a establish a Web
Web site, our site, our business
business will grow. will grow.

Please give serious Please seriously

consideration to a consider a
company intranet. company intranet.
Control Exuberance

To sound credible, don’t overuse intensifiers such

as very, definitely, quite, completely, extremely,
really, actually, and totally

Excessive Businesslike
The manager is actually The manager is
quite pleased with your pleased with your
proposal because the proposal because
plan is definitely the plan is workable.
workable.
Precise Words

Revise your writing to include precise words. Strive

for specific verbs, concrete nouns, and vivid
adjectives. Beware of unclear pronouns.

Unclear More Precise

The man asked Jeff Jones asked for a 10
for a raise. percent salary increase.

An employee Kelly Keeler, production

presented a manager, presented a plan
proposal. to stagger hours.
Precise Words

Revise your writing to include descriptive,

dynamic adjectives instead of overworked,
all-purpose ones.
Instead of this Try this
They thought her The management council
report was good. thought Erin’s report was
factual and well written.

She said she would Maria said she would send

get in touch. you an e-mail.
In the following sentences, unbury verbs and
control exuberance.

The seller said he definitely The seller promised

would contact you.
Quick to e-mail (telephone
or fax) you.
Check
We must give We must encourage
encouragement to our team. our team.
In the following sentences, unbury verbs and
control exuberance.

Moviegoers actually show a Moviegoers prefer

total preference for buttered buttered popcorn.
popcorn.
Please make an assessment Please assess the
of the home’s value. home’s value.

Ann made a suggestion that Ann suggested that

we hire Lee. we hire Lee.
Designing Documents for
Readability

Employ white space.

 Headings

 Short paragraphs

 Ragged-right margins
Designing Documents for
Readability

Choose appropriate typefaces.

Serif typefaces have small features at ends
of strokes. Useful for body text.
Times New Roman
Century
Georgia
Garamond
Designing Documents for
Readability

Choose appropriate typefaces.

Sans serif typefaces are cleaner without
features. Useful for headings, signs, and
noncontinuous reading material.
Arial
Tahoma
Verdana
Calibri
Designing Documents for
Readability

Use bulleted and numbered lists.

 Break up complex information into smaller
chunks.
 Use numbered lists for sequences.
 Use bulleted lists for items that don’t
require a certain order.
Designing Documents for
Readability

Use a numbered list for instructions.

Instead of this Try this
To clean the printer, you To clean the printer, do
should do the following. the following:
First, you should
disconnect the power 1. Disconnect the power
cord. Then you open the cord.
front cover, and the 2. Open the front cover.
printer area should be
cleaned with a soft cloth. 3. Clean the printer with
a soft cloth.
Designing Documents for
Readability

Organize information with column headings.

Instead of this Try this
On April 3 we will be in Date City Speaker
Toledo, and the speaker
is Troy Lee. On May 20 April 3 Toledo Troy Lee
we will be in Detroit, and May 20 Detroit Sue Wu
the speaker is Sue Wu.
Designing Documents for
Readability

Use letters to list items within sentences.

Strive for parallelism.

Instead of this Try this

Our team constantly tries Our team constantly tries
to achieve our goals, to (a) achieve our goals,
customer service must be (b) improve customer
improved, and our service, and (c) hit our
production targets must production targets.
be met.
Designing Documents for
Readability

Use paragraph headings to improve

organization and readability.
Instead of this Try this
The next topic is Vacations. A new
vacations. A new vacation vacation schedule will be
schedule will be available available on May 1.
on May 1.
To assist employees, we Flextime. To assist
will begin a flex schedule employees, we will begin a
in the fall. flex schedule in the fall.
Arrange the following in a concise, bulleted
vertical list.

In the next training The next training session

session, the trainer will will demonstrate
demonstrate how to Quick
create podcasts, how to • Creating podcasts
share multiple Check
• Sharing multiple
programs, and how to programs
maintain an Internet • Maintaining an Internet
directory.
directory.
 Improve the readability of the following
instructions that will become part of a
student’s employment booklet.

In preparing for an employment You can prepare for

studying the job description.Quick

interview, you should begin by interviews by doing the
following:
• Study the job description.
Itemizing your most strategic
Check
skills and qualifications is also • Itemize your most
important. Giving responses in strategic skills and
a mock interview is another qualifications.
good practice technique. Last, • Practice giving responses
you should be prepared to ask in a mock interview.
relevant questions.
 What to Watch for
in Proofreading

 Spelling

 Grammar

 Punctuation

© ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / DMITRY SHIRONOSOV

 Names and numbers
 Format