THINK

WIN
HABIT
/
:
WIN
PRINCIPLES OF
INTERPERSONAL
4
RELATIONSHIP
 Think Win-win
• This is the habit of creating effective
interpersonal leadership. In order to
manage our relationships with others
properly we need to think “Win/Win”.
This isn’t just a technique that you can
apply to every day situations and
relationships, it’s a philosophy – a whole
way of thinking and being.
 Think Win-Win
This philosophy is based on 6 paradigms of
interaction. Basically, every time we interact
with others it fits into one of these categories:
• Win/Win
• Win/Lose
• Lose/Win
• Lose/Lose
• Win
• Win/Win or No Deal
• Win/Win – Mutually beneficial and co-operative. All
parties come out on top
• Win/Lose – “If I win, you lose.” This is very
authoritarian in style and can be seen as overaly
competitive. It’ a win at all costs mentality which is
usually instilled from childhood.
• Lose/Win – “If I lose, you win.” This is usually
the attitude of people who want to keep the peace
and not upset the applecart. The problem with
Lose/Win is that whilst you may feel happy your
friend/colleague etc. has come out on top, this
can however lead to an eventual breakdown in
relationships as resentment builds up.
• Lose/Lose – This happens when two Win/Lose
people clash, it leads to a stubborn impasse as they
try to beat each other at all costs.
• Win – Don’t really want anyone to lose they just
want everyone to come out on top. It’s an “every
man for himself” mentality.
• Win/Win or No Deal – This is where, if a
mutually beneficial outcome cannot be reached,
then you know it’s okay to walk away with no
hard feelings.
 Win-Win Situation
• You get sponsored by a company and provide
them with free marketing in exchange for one
or some of their products.
• You connect the right real estate agent with a
buyer you know personally, and collect a
referral 
• You are a head hunter that knows all the right
people, and the businesses that need them.
 How to think Win-Win
• In the win-win situation might be so hard for
us to think and solve it.
• So how do you do it? How can you be happy
for your friend when he just got accepted at
college and you didn’t? How can you avoid
feeling inferior to the girl next door who has all
those gorgeous clothes? How can you find
solutions to problems so that both of you can
win? Might I suggest two clues: Win the private
victory first and avoid the tumor twins.
WIN THE PRIVATE VICTORY FIRST

• It all begins with you. If you are extremely

insecure and haven’t paid the price to win
the private victory, it will be difficult to
think Win-Win. You’ll be threatened by
other people. It’ll be hard to be happy for
their successes. It will be difficult to share
recognition or praise
AVOID THE TUMOR TWINS

• There are two habits that, like tumors, can

slowly eat you away from the inside. They
are twins and their names are competing
and comparing. It’s virtually impossible to
think Win-Win with them around.
 Win-Lose Situation

• a hunter kills a wolf and it's a win for the

hunter but a loss for the wolf's pack.
Another example is that if an argument is
settled unfairly is in one side's favor only,
for instance a border dispute between two
countries. There are other types of
situations like win-lose situations.
 Lose-Win Situation
• you may give in to peer pressure, allow others
to take advantage of you, or listen to others
gossip about a friend. Facing challenges in this
way leaves you feeling bad and it is not healthy.
Of course there are times when it is okay to give
in. When an issue is not important to you and
no one is going to be hurt by the decision it is
okay to let another win. Just make sure you take
a stand when you feel strongly or the decision is
harmful to you or another person.
 Lose-Lose
• Fighting is a great example of a lose–lose
situation. If you think about it, both
people get hurt and usually neither person
feels good in the end. The attitude of lose-
lose is that if I am going down, I am going
to bring you with me. This does not help
anyone involved and often makes
problems worse.
 What’s the best option?
The best option really depends on what
situation you are in at the time, what you
want to achieve, and what the other
person wants to achieve.
• If you value a relationship, you may
option for Lose/Win in order to keep the
peace. If you want to increase competition
you may go for a Win/Lose strategy.