Christian Love

Philosophy of Love and Sex

 Terminology
• In the Bible, the words philia and agape
are used almost interchangeably.
• These words apply to all forms of love,
including erotic love.
• In the Greek translation of the Song of
Songs, the erotic love is denoted “agape”.
 A “religion of love”
• What does this mean?
• All morality is somehow summed up in the duty to love
God and neighbor.
• St. Augustine: “Love and do what you will”
• “By this we know that we love the children of God, when
we love God and obey his commandments. For this is
the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And
his commandments are not burdensome.” (1 John 5:2).
• So, Augustine’s maxim is not a permission to do
whatever you like. If you love, you will obey God’s
commandments.
• God is love, and the central doctrines of Christianity
(e.g., Trinity, Incarnation, Sacrifice of the Cross) express
God’s love.
 What is love of neighbor?
• Love is often tied to actions.
• “For God so loved the world that he sent
his only-begotten son.” (John 3:16)
• “Greater love than this has no man, to give
up his life for his friend.” (John 15:13)
• All the forms of love should be agape.
 A puzzle:
x loves God iff x loves neighbor
• Does this mean that atheists cannot love neighbor?
• Restrictive approach: if x doesn’t seem to love God, then
probably x doesn’t love neighbor, despite appearances.
• Expansive approach: if x seems to love neighbor, then
probably x does love God, despite appearances.
• Maybe you can count as loving God if you love God’s
creatures and are grateful for their existence—even if
you do not know that God is the one you are grateful to.
• Or maybe to love God is to obey his commandments,
and by loving neighbor one does that?
 Aquinas on love
• Love of concupiscence
– x benefits and appreciates y because y benefits z (z might or
might not be x)
• Love of friendship
– x benefits and appreciates y for y’s own sake
• Love of friendship is the better kind of love
• Puzzle: If love of friendship is the better kind of love, and
love for God is the best kind of love, how can we have a
love of friendship for God? After all, we cannot benefit
God.
• Aquinas’ suggestion: We can “benefit” God in an
extended by benefiting God’s friends—i.e., our neighbor.
(This is like Nozick’s well-being extension view—God’s
well-being extends to include the well-being of thos ethat
God loves.)
 Two kinds of union
• Formal union: Always present in love (a
directedness to the good of the other)
• “Real” union: An additional union that one
pursues (spending time with the other, engaging
in marital relations, teaching, etc.)
• The formal union is just as real. (The terms are
unfortunate.)
• Formal union is basically the same across
different kinds of love
• Real union is different
 Mutual indwelling in formal union
• The beloved is in the lover intellectually: the
lover keeps on thinking about the beloved
• The beloved is in the lover in will and affection:
the lover pursues the beloved’s good as if it
were her own
• The lover is in the beloved intellectually: the
lover wants to know the beloved from the inside
—from the beloved’s point of view
• The lover is in the beloved in will and affection:
whatever hurts or helps the beloved hurts or
helps the lover
 Charity
• Grace builds on nature
• Should love those close to us more than
we love our enemies—but should love our
enemies
• Need for prudence