CHAPTER 2

MARRIAGE: AMERICAN STYLE

 A. A GENERAL PICTURE ON THE ISSUE
a. Americans’ attitude towards marriage: Respect
Middle age: 92% getting marriage at least once
However,
b. The single adults as large as the married ones
Only 56% of adults: with spouse
 the unmarried  the married
 the median age also 
 20.6  25 for female; 22.5  27 for male
 c. More than 1/3 of the population: never married

Career established
d. living together without getting married
e. Americans’ practical in other matters but not in marriage
Getting married for love
No arrangement in marriage, but through social contacts
f. Marriage between different
religions: common
 black & white: still rare
 g. Time of engagement: often a diamond ring

Filling out a list of items wished to receive at the department

store bridal registry
 Moving out: renting a new place
 brides’ & grooms’ celebrating shower or bachelor (stag) parties
before wedding
 B. THE BIG DAY
 Wedding customs in the US: diverse due to multi-cultures
 endless variations on American weddings
 A combination of American customs with those of the couple’s
native cultures
 Even a mix of the groom’s and the bride’s native cultures
 sometimes no traditions at all, but of the couple’s interests and
imaginations
 TYPICAL AMERICAN STYLE
White gown: innocence and vigirnity
White veil: protection from evils
Tuxedo & bow tie
 Tradition: bride & groom not meeting before the wedding day
Wedding ceremony: happening at any place depending on the
couple’s option & culture
  During the ceremony:
bride’s father giving her away to the groom
exchanging identical rings
 service according to the couple’s religion
 After the ceremony:
party with dancing
cutting wedding cake
Throwing bouquet of flowers backward over the head to a
group of single women behind the bride
Going for a honeymoon
 WHO PAYS FOR THE WEDDING?

 In the past: the bride’s parents for everything

 Today: parents of both sides

 Even by the couple themselves

 If saving expenses
Going the City Hall to “tie the knot”
Or inviting as fewer guests as possible
 LEGAL WEDDINGS

Fulfilling state’s requirements in ceremony

Getting a marriage license: medical exams & certificates

In some states: couple’s age about 17  parents’ permission,

but if 18 & over 18  no permission
Teenagers under 16: not allowed to marry
 ILLEGAL WEDDINGS
In most states: no marriages for couples under 16
 The first cousins & close family relations
 Mental illness & infection diseases
 Requirements of medical certificates before marriage licenses
 DIVORCES & ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES
US divorce rate: twice that of Europe & three times higher than
Japan
Americans’ great beliefs in marriage  hoping a happier in the
next
State laws: making easy to get divorce
Alimony: depending on the husband’s / wife’s incomes
 CHILDREN

Full custody or joint custody on dad’s or mom’s sides: up to

children’s best interest
FAMILY STYLES
Blended families
Unmarried couples
Same sex partners
Single moms / dads with children
 CHAPTER THREE
AMERICAN FAMILY LIFE
 “Blood is thicker than water.”
“We can choose our friends, but we cannot choose relatives.”
→ Americans’ emphasis on family life
→ The first people to call to report good news or to call for
help

70% households: 20% alone 10% of people not

families residents related to each other
 I. WHO’S AT HOME?
Most American mothers work outside for
 their needs of money
 their interest in social life instead of full-time homemakers
→ Mothers’ fatigue & stress
↓
Changes in American families’ way of Living
 a. Less taking care of their families
b. Fathers’ & older children’s self-sufficiency
c. Weakness of family relationship
d. New social needs: affordable & reliable daycare facilities for
pre-school children
e. Declining role of fathers
f. High rates of divorce → increasing number of children’s
living with mothers & step fathers and vice versa, or even
living in time changing with each parent
g. Decreasing number of children in a family:
→ No longer companion with large siblings
→ Coming home to empty houses
→ School’s creating extra programs
h. Growing needs of raising pets
i. Delay of leaving parents’ homes
 until getting married
 After young adults’ divorces
 k. Advanced technology & medications:
Eg: cellphones, internet, cars, planes, sports facilities and
drugs
 Parents’ joy of living independence
 Expansion of life expectancy
 Moving out more, not just spending time in rocking chairs
 l. Senior citizens:
 Spanning four generations: from great grandparents to
infants
 Life expectancy: 73 for male & 0ver 79 for female
 Two groups: Young-olds (from 65 – 80) & Old-olds (over
80)
 Young-olds: Quite active
 Working part time, traveling, crossing the country by cars,
enjoying leisure activities with friends
 Old-olds
 Only 5% of too ill or disabled living in nursing homes,
retirement residences, specially-cared homes
 Most in care by the “sandwich generations” or middle-
aged Americans
 2. WHERE IS HOME?
 Most Americans’ living
 in or near large cities
 in small towns
 in suburbs with the same facilities and opportunities found
in big cities
 Most Americans’ living in homes or apartments (ranging
from moderate to expensive & elegant ones), condos or co-
ops, mobile homes
  Americans’ family style have the characteristics
 Changing homes every five or six years
 Depriving them of having many relatives and longtime
friends
 Adult siblings’ having jobs & living in different parts of the
countries
 Retired parents’ moving to warmer places
 Only getting together for major returning points in one
another’s lives
 3. WHO PAYS THE BILLS?
More than 50% of married women with full time jobs
 working full time even with lower earnings than men’s
 just earning enough to pay for necessities if having one
wage-earner
 meeting high needs of their kids (American children’s sub-
living standards: only 19%)
  IN THE PAST
Children = Parents’ assets → making financial contribution
 TODAY’S FEDERAL LAWS
 Limiting children's job types, time, and ages (usually not
until 15 or 16)
 Lying beyond family’s financial contribution to families
 Except for part time jobs like babysitting, shoveling snow,
mowing lawns, & delivering newspapers
 4. WHO’S IN CHARGE?
a. No longer “father’s words is law”, but more democratic
b. However, still family quarrels
 Battle of the sexes = a fight b/w husbands & wives for
family control
 Generation gaps = parents’ difficulty understanding their
kids’ behavior & attitudes
 Sibling rivalry = competition and jealousy b/w siblings
 In-law problems = parents’ interference with their married
children
 c. Complication of divorce & remarriage
 Children’s suffering from living, controlling, disciplining
with stepparents
 Being tossed back and forth between different authority
figures
→ without knowing ‘who’s in charge’
d. Disagreements of teenagers for less parental control about
hairstyle, clothing, schoolwork, after-school jobs, career
decisions, dating or sexual behavior
e. Parental worries for more serious problems about children’s
 quitting school
 alcohol & drug abuse
 running away from home
 getting involved with gangs
 having illegitimate children

Accounting for small percentage

 5. PARENTALHOOD: A CHOICE
A free choice of whether to have children out of
 Wide range of birth control
 Option of abortion
 Medical interferences
 Even legal support of adoption
 CONCLUSION

True pictures of American families

 Very loving, kind, generous & permissive parents

 Good kids growing into responsible adults

 Great respect to towards the values and importance of

family relationships

THE END