Active Listening

Good listeners make good

managers

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Vederber
Why do we need to listen?

To understand and retain information

To build and maintain relationships

To solve problems

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Vederber
Barriers to Listening

Language: vocabulary, jargon,

Psychological: personal concerns, biases,
pressures, mood
Environment: noise, physical discomfort,
other intrusions (people/telephone )
Circumstances: haste, politics and status
Rapid thought, information overload
And of course communicator’s preparation
and skills and receiver’s willingness to listen

Source: Interact, Vederber and

Vederber
The best listener in MBA first
year
Their listening behaviour

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Vederber
The worst listener (no names
mentioned!!)
Their listening behaviour

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Vederber
The Ineffective Listener…1

Pretends to listen to the speaker

Tolerates or creates distractions while the
speaker is talking
Calls the subject uninteresting or boring
Avoids listening to difficult material
Reacts emotionally to some messages by
tuning out the speaker
Tends to daydream during long
presentations

Source: Interact, Vederber and

Vederber
The ineffective listener ..2

Fidgets in the chair, looks out of the

window, lets their mind wander
Seldom or never mentally reviews
information
Doesn’t bother about retention
Listens only for facts and doesn’t pay
attention to the context
…
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The Ineffective Listener…3

Criticizes the speaker’s delivery

Mentally builds arguments against
the speaker’s ideas or interrupts to
challenge or disagree with the
speaker
Makes detailed notes on everything
they hear

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Components of Listening
1. Hearing (Physiological)
2. Attending: Focusing attention
3. Understanding: Listening actively
4. Remembering: Retaining Information
5. Evaluating: Listening critically
6. Responding – empathizing,
supporting, advising (or staying
silent).
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2. ATTENDING
Problem: Poor listeners may not hear what
people say
1. Get physically and mentally ready to
listen
2. Make the shift from speaker to
listener a complete one
3. Hear a person before you react
4. Adjust the listening behaviour to
the situation.

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3. UNDERSTANDING
Listening Problem: Poor listeners may hear
what is said, but not understand
Techniques
Identify the purpose, main points
Attend to nonverbal cues
Ask questions
Paraphrase

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3a. Understanding: Questioning

1. Note the type of information you need to

increase your understanding
2. Phrase questions as complete sentences
3. Deliver questions in a sincere tone of
voice
4. Put the burden of ignorance on your own
shoulders

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3b. Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing is feedback that restates, in
your own words, the message you thought
the speaker sent. You can paraphrase
factual or personal information
You can:
1) Changing the speaker’s wording
2) Offer an example of what you think the
speaker is talking about
3) Reflect the underlying theme of the
speaker’s remarks.

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Exercise: Paraphrase the
following..1
“Five weeks ago, I gave the revised copy of
my report to my professor. I felt really
good about it because I thought the
changes I had made really improved my
explanations. Well, yesterday I stopped by
and got the report back, and my professor
said that she really couldn’t see that this
draft was much different from the first”

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Paraphrasing

“If I understand you correctly, what

you’re saying is …..
“In other words, you’re telling me
that…

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4. Remembering
Listening problem: Poor listeners may interpret
information accurately, but forget it

Repeat information
Construct Mnemonics
Take Notes

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5. Evaluating: Listening critically

Poor listeners may interpret information

accurately and remember it, but not
evaluate its merits
Techniques:
1. Separate factual statements from
inferences
2. Evaluate Inferences: Is the factual
support relevant to the inference? Is
there known information that would
prevent the information from logically
following the factual statements?
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Evaluating inferences

1. “The HR forum had a raffle, and they

made a lot of money. I think we should
hold a raffle, too.”
2. “Sanjay is aggressive, personable and
highly motivated – he ought to make a
good salesman”
3. Anupa always dresses so neatly, and all
the teachers seem to like her, I’m going
to start dressing neatly too
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Empathizing: Listening Response

Empathizing is a response style

listeners use when they want to show
they identify with a speaker ..
“ I know how important that was to you”
“I can see that really hurts”
“ I can tell you’re really excited about
that”

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Supporting: Listening
Response
Supporting responses reveal the listener’s
solidarity with the speaker’s situation.
Types:
Agreement/ confirmation
Offers to help /tangible assistance
Praise / Appreciation
Reassurance
Diversion

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Advising: Listening response
When approached with another’s problem,
the most common reaction is advising.
Advice isn’t always as helpful as it might
seem.. Be sure that..
1. The other person really wants to hear
your suggestions
2. Consider whether the person seeking your
advice is truly ready to accept it.
3. Be confident that your advice is correct
4. Be certain that the receiver won’t blame
you if the advice doesn’t work out.
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Test your listening behaviour

How frequently to you find yourself engaging

in each of the following listening
behaviours? Indicate 5 for frequently, 4
for often, 3 for sometimes, 2 for rarely,
and 1 for never.
1. I listen differently depending on whether I
am listening for enjoyment, understanding
or evaluation.

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Test …. Indicate 5 for frequently, 4 for
often, 3 for sometimes, 2 for rarely, and 1 for
never.

2. I stop listening when what the person is

saying to me isn’t interesting to me
3. I consciously try to recognize the
speakers’ purpose
4. I pretend to listen to people when I am
really thinking about other things
5. When people talk, I differentiate between
their main points and their supporting
points.

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Test…3
Indicate 5 for frequently, 4 for often, 3 for
sometimes, 2 for rarely, and 1 for never.

6. When the person’s manner of speaking

annoys me ( such as muttering, stammering,
or talking in a monotone), I stop listening
carefully.
7. At various places in a conversation, I
paraphrase what the speakers said in order
to check my understanding
8. When I perceive the subject matter as
very difficult, I stop listening carefully
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Test..4 Indicate 5 for frequently, 4 for
often, 3 for sometimes, 2 for rarely, and 1 for
never.

9. When the person is presenting

detailed information, I take good
notes of major points and supporting
details.
10. When people use words that I find
offensive, I stop listening and start
preparing responses.

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Your scores!

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A Quiz on Reflective Listening
A computer consultant, Premnath, does work
for you and for another member of your
department, Geeta T. One morning you
walk up to Premnath’s desk and he greets
you as follows:
“What am I supposed to do about Geeta? She
throws more work at me than I can possibly
handle. I told her but she won’t listen. I
don’t want people to think I’m trying to get
out of doing my job, but she’s really got me
totally buried”
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Which of the following responses
would represent reflective
(paraphrasing and empathic) listening?
1. Hang in there; I’m sure it will work
out eventually.
2. I will talk with Geeta about it.
3. It sounds like this is really getting
you down
4. You’re worried others might think
you are lazy.
5. Geeta is really unfair, uh?
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contd
6. Why don’t you discuss this with your
boss?
7. You were discouraged when Geeta
seemed so unresponsive
8. Why have you let things go on like
this?
9. So you are fed up with the situation
and really want to see something done
about it
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Escuchame !

Source: Interact, Vederber and

Vederber