Managing

Sexuality
After 40
Prepared by: Mrs. Temidayo Balogun
 Attitudes About Sexuality and
Aging
• Fantasies can help rev up your sex life.
Myths, on the other hand, can stop desire
dead in its tracks. Such myths aren't the
legends from classical history. They're the
stories we tell ourselves and each other to
support the notion that older
people shouldn't, can't, and wouldn't want
to have sex.
Here are some examples of the most
popular sexual myths and the myth-busting
truths.
• 1. The myth: Only the young are sexually attractive.The culture we
live in exalts youth. Turn on the TV or open a magazine and you'll
be barraged with images of supple skin, firm flesh, and lustrous
locks. But if your mirror is reflecting a different picture these days,
you may feel like the party is going on without you.

• The reality: Older can be quite sexy. Sure, thinning hair, laugh lines,
and a paunchy midriff are no picnic. But think back on what it was
that made you attractive in your younger years. Was it your soulful
brown eyes, your crooked smile, or maybe your infectious laugh?
Chances are, those attributes are still as appealing as ever.
Here are some examples of the most
popular sexual myths and the myth-busting
truths.
• 2. The myth: Sexuality in later life is undignified. Whether it's the white-haired
grandmother fussing with her knitting or the loveable old codger puffing on a
pipe, society is inclined to desexualize older adults. When older adults do
express their sexuality, it's often viewed with derision — for example, the
stereotype of the "dirty old man.“

• The reality: It's healthy for older adults to express their sexuality. People are
living longer and remaining healthier. And they are more vigorous than ever
before. Former president George H.W. Bush went skydiving to celebrate his
75th birthday, John Glenn returned to space at age 77, and Carol Sing forged a
new world record at 57 by becoming the oldest woman to swim the English
Channel. With this trend toward later-life vitality, why shouldn't seniors be
allowed to cast off outdated and ill-fitting stereotypes in order to express their
normal, healthy sexual appetites?
Here are some examples of the most
popular sexual myths and the myth-busting
truths.
• 3. The myth: Men and women lose their ability to perform sexually after a certain
age. Vaginal dryness and erectile difficulties loom large as you hurtle past 50. You
may be feeling that you should just listen to what your body is trying to tell you:
Sex is a thing of the past.

• The reality: You can still have a satisfying sex life. While a certain degree of physical
change is unavoidable, this fact of life doesn't necessarily translate into insurmountable
sexual problems. For men, the Viagra revolution means most erection problems can be
corrected with little medical intervention. For women, high-tech vaginal lubricants and
hormone creams and rings are viable substitutes for what nature no longer supplies.
What's important for both sexes to remember, though, is that a softer erection, reduced
natural lubrication, or a less intense orgasm doesn't mean you're no longer interested in
your partner or in sex itself. For many couples, these kinds of changes provide an
impetus for developing a new, rich, and satisfying style of lovemaking — one that's
based more on extended foreplay and less on intercourse and orgasm.
Here are some examples of the most
popular sexual myths and the myth-busting
truths.
• 4. The myth: Sex is boring when you get older. Drooping libido, slower
rates of arousal, and the predictability of having the same partner for 20 or
more years all add up to a ho-hum sex life.

• The reality: Sex is as good as you make it. While it's true that a 19-year-old
will have a faster, harder erection and a more forceful ejaculation than his
55-year-old counterpart, it doesn't mean the quality of the experience is
necessarily better. On the contrary, the older man has better control of his
ejaculations. Less penile sensitivity means he may be able to enjoy a wider
range of erotic sensations and maintain his erection longer. And his
experience may pay off in improved sexual technique and a better
understanding of what will please his partner.
Here are some examples of the most
popular sexual myths and the myth-busting
truths.
• Many women begin to find sexual confidence in their 30s, and this
blossoms with maturity. As a woman moves through her 40s, her orgasms
actually become more intense, and she can still have multiple orgasms.
After menopause, when she's free of any worry about pregnancy, she can
give herself over to the pure enjoyment of sex.

• Although longtime partners do have to contend with issues of familiarity in

their relationship, these problems can be offset by greater emotional
intimacy and trust. Because inhibitions often lessen with age, sex at 50 or
60 may include a level of experimentation and playfulness you wouldn't
have dreamed of in your younger years.
Statistics on sexuality and sexual
satisfaction

• In 1999, Modern Maturity magazine and the AARP foundation

polled 1,384 adults age 45 and older about the role sex played
in their lives. The findings paint a detailed picture of sexuality
at midlife and later.

• The importance of sex Over all, the majority of men (66.8%)

and women (56.7%) responding felt that a satisfying sex life
was important to their quality of life. But an even higher
percentage (91.9% of men and 87.1% of women) thought that
a good relationship with their spouse or partner played a key
role in their happiness.
Statistics on sexuality and sexual
satisfaction

• Frequency of sexual activity of individuals with partners, just over 60% in

the youngest age bracket surveyed (40–59) had intercourse at least once a
week. At age 75, the proportion dropped to one in four. Still, nearly three-
quarters of respondents of all ages had intercourse once a month or more,
provided they had partners.
• However, when the group was examined as a whole, one out of five men
and two out of five women had not participated in any form of sexual
touching or caressing over the last six months.

• Men tended to think about sex and feel sexual desire more frequently than
women. While rates of intercourse were similar for both sexes, more men
than women reported engaging in sexual touching. Self-stimulation on a
regular basis was also about eight times higher among men.
Factors affecting sexual satisfaction

• Not surprisingly, one of the major factors associated with

respondents' satisfaction was the availability of a partner. In
the 40–59 age group, roughly four out of five individuals had
partners; by comparison, only one in five women over 75 had
partners.
• Declining health also appeared to have an effect on sexual
activity and satisfaction. On a list of features that might
improve their sexual satisfaction, the men ranked better health
for themselves or their partners at the top. Although impotence
emerged as a significant issue for nearly a quarter of the men,
less than half of those men had ever sought medical treatment
for the problem.