Enneagrams

Finding Your True Self

Have you ever asked yourself:
What am I really like? What makes me so difficult?

Why do I say the things I Why do I do the things I do?

do?
Why are some people Why do I get along with
so difficult? some people, but not with
others?
What must I do to change? What do I have to do to
become psychologically and
spiritually whole?
Where do I find the answers?

•The Enneagram is a tool of self-

exploration.
•We all have a hidden self
•The goal of life's psychological and
spiritual journey
 Why study Enneagrams?
• Teaches
– compassion
– acceptance and understanding
• Gives
– self-understanding
– insight into how you live and function in the world
• Enables us to
– break free from worn-out coping strategies
– learn alternatives to our own patterns of behavior
 History of the Enneagram
• Predates modern psychology
• Roots in Buddhism, Judaism (especially
in the Kabballah) and Eastern Orthodox
Christianity
• Used by Catholic retreat programs
 Theory of the Enneagram
• Nine pointed diagram.
• It tells us about different types of people.
• Typology is a system of classification of data
in an effort to improve understanding.
• Finding your personality "type" can explain
you to yourself and to others but your
uniqueness is not lost.

Mary K. Greer
 Personality Box
• Trapped in a personality
• Resistance to being “typed”
• See your "limited" personality so you
can fulfill your potential.

Mary K. Greer
 Enneagram Fundamentals

• Each point of the Enneagram represents one

personality style or type.
• Personality type
– consistent and habitual pattern of thought, emotion, and behavior

Mary K. Greer
• Nine personality types are defined by
numbers and names.
• All personality types are equal in value.
• Lines and arrows show how a personality
type can change and relate to another type.

Mary K. Greer
 A.
• I approach things in an all-or-none way, especially issues that matter to me.
I place a lot of value on being strong, honest, and dependable. What you
see is what you get. I don't trust others until they have proven themselves to
be reliable. I like people to be direct with me, and I know when someone is
being devious, lying, or trying to manipulate me. I have a hard time
tolerating weakness in people, unless I understand the reason for their
weakness or I see that they're trying to do something about it. I also have a
hard time following orders or directions if I do not respect or agree with the
person in authority. I am much better at taking charge myself. I find it difficult
not to display my feelings when I am angry. I am always ready to stick up for
friends or loved ones, especially if I think they are being treated unjustly. I
may not win every battle with others, but they'll know I've been there.
 B.
• I have high internal standards for correctness, and I expect
myself to live up to those standards. It's easy for me to see
what's wrong with things as they are, and to see how they could
be improved. I may come across to some people as overly
critical or demanding perfection, but it's hard for me to ignore or
accept things that are not done the right way. I pride myself on
the fact that if I'm responsible for doing something, you can be
sure I'll do it right. I sometimes have feelings of resentment
when people don't try to do things properly or when people act
irresponsibly or unfairly, although I usually try not to show it to
them openly. For me, it is usually work before pleasure, and I
suppress my desires as necessary to get the work done.
 C.
• I seem to be able to see all points of view pretty easily. I may
even appear indecisive at times because I can see
advantages and disadvantages on all sides. The ability to
see all sides makes me good at helping people resolve their
differences. This same ability can sometimes lead me to be
more aware of other people's positions, agendas, and
personal priorities than of my own. It is not unusual for me to
become distracted and then to get off task on the important
things I'm trying to do. When that happens, my attention is
often diverted to unimportant trivial tasks. I have a hard time
knowing what is really important to me, and I avoid conflict
by going along with what others want. People tend to
consider me to be easygoing, pleasing and agreeable. It
takes a lot to get me to the point of showing my anger
directly at someone. I like life to be comfortable, harmonious,
and accepting.
 D.
• I am sensitive to other people's feelings. I can see what they
need, even when I don't know them. Sometimes it's
frustrating to be so aware of people's needs, especially their
pain or unhappiness, because I'm not able to do as much for
them as I'd like to. It's easy for me to give of myself. I
sometimes wish I were better at saying "no'; because I end
up putting more energy into caring for others than into taking
care of myself. It hurts my feelings if people think I'm trying
to manipulate or control them, when all I'm trying to do is
understand and help them. I like to be seen as a
warmhearted and good person, but when I'm not taken into
account or appreciated I can become very emotional or even
demanding. Good relationships mean a great deal to me and
I'm willing to work hard to make them happen.
 E.
• Being the best at what I do is a strong motivator for me, and I
have received a lot of recognition over the years for my
accomplishments. I get a lot done and am successful in
almost everything I take on. I identify strongly with what I do,
because to a large degree I think your value is based on what
you accomplish and the recognition you get for it. I always
have more to do than will fit into the time available, so I often
set aside feelings and self-reflection in order to get things
done. Because there's always something to do, I find it hard
to just sit and do nothing. I get impatient with people who
don't use my time well. Sometimes I would rather just take
over a project someone is completing too slowly. I like to feel
and appear "on top" of any situation. While I like to compete,
I am also a good team player.
 F.
• I would characterize myself as a quiet, analytical person who
needs more time alone than most people do. I usually prefer to
observe what is going on than to be involved in the middle of
it. I don't like people to place too many demands on me or to
expect me to know and report what I am feeling. I'm able to
get in touch with my feelings better when alone than with
others, and often enjoy experiences I've had more when
reliving them than when actually going through them. I'm
almost never bored when alone, because I have an active
mental life. It is important for me to protect my time and
energy, and hence, to live a simple, uncomplicated life and to
be as self- sufficient as possible.
 G.
• I have a vivid imagination, especially when it comes to what
might be threatening to safety and security. I can usually spot
what could be dangerous or harmful and may experience as
much fear as if it were really happening. I either always
avoid danger or always challenge it head on. My imagination
also leads to my ingenuity and a good, if somewhat offbeat,
sense of humor. I would like for life to be more certain, but, in
general, I seem to doubt the people and things around me. I
can usually see the shortcomings in the view someone is
putting forward. I suppose that, as a consequence, some
people may consider me to be very astute. I tend to be
suspicious of authority and am not particularly comfortable
being seen as the authority. Because I can see what is wrong
with the generally held view of things, I tend to identify with
underdog causes. Once I have committed myself to a person
or cause, I am very loyal to it.
 H.
• I am an optimistic person who enjoys coming up with new and
interesting things to do. I have a very active mind that quickly
moves back and forth between different ideas. I like to get a
global picture of how all these ideas fit together, and I get
excited when I can connect concepts that initially don't appear
to be related. I like to work on things that interest me, and I
have a lot of energy to devote to them. I have a hard time
sticking with unrewarding and repetitive tasks. I like to be in
on the beginning of a project, during the planning phase,
when there may be many interesting options to consider.
When I have exhausted my interest in something, it is difficult
for me to stay with it, because I want to move on to the next
thing that has captured my interest. If something gets me
down, I prefer to shift my attention to more pleasant ideas. I
believe people are entitled to an enjoyable life.
 I.
• I am a sensitive person with intense feelings. I often feel
misunderstood and lonely, because I feel different from
everyone else. My behavior can appear like drama to others,
and I have been criticized for being overly sensitive and over-
amplifying my feelings. What is really going on inside is my
longing for both emotional connection and a deeply felt
experience of relationship. I have difficulty fully appreciating
present relationships because of my tendency to want what I
can't have and to disdain what I do have. The search for
emotional connection has been with me all my life and the
absence of emotional connection has led to melancholy and
depression. I sometimes wonder why other people seem to
have more than I do-better relation- ships and happier lives. I
have a refined sense of aesthetics and I experience a rich
world of emotions and meaning.
 Final Answer
• Rate the top 3 most like you, in order
 How many?
–Will not answer no matter what I ask?
–A
–B
–C
–D
–E
–F
–G
–H
–I
 The Types
The Mediator C
9
A B
The Boss 8 The
1
Perfectionist

The H
Epicure 7 2 The Giver D

The Loyal 3 The Performer

G
6 E
Skeptic

The Observer 5 4 The

Romantic I
F
 Personality Types
• Reformer or Perfectionist (Type 1)
• Helper/Giver (Type 2)
• Performer/Achiever (Type 3)
• Individualist/Actor (Type 4)
• Thinker/Analyst (Type 5)
• Loyalist/Devil’s Advocate (Type 6)
• Enthusiast/Epicure (Type 7)
• Leader/Boss (Type 8)
• Peacemaker/Mediator (Type 9)
Mary K. Greer
 How did I become my
personality type?

• Your unique energy

• Unconscious decision made in
childhood
• Interaction of your temperament and
your relationship with caregiver

Mary K. Greer
Decisions Made by Each Type
• Reformer/Perfectionist (Type 1)
– be perfect
– do everything right
• Helper/Giver (Type 2)
– be helpful
– meet others’ needs
• Motivator/Performer (Type 3)
– always achieve and accomplish
Mary K. Greer
 Decisions (cont’d.)
• Individualist/Romantic (Type 4)
– be different in a special way, then others
will value the difference
• Thinker/Observer (Type 5)
– be knowledgeable and understand
everything
• Loyalist/Questioner (Type 6)
– be faithful, loyal, and dependable

Mary K. Greer
 Decisions (cont’d.)
• Enthusiast/Epicure (Type 7)
– be fun-loving and happy
– brighten other people’s day
• Leader/Boss (Type 8)
– be strong and powerful so that people will
respect you
• Peacemaker/Mediator (Type 9)
– never rock the boat
– always smooth things over
Mary K. Greer
 Brief Description of the
Nine Types
• Perfectionist (Type 1) is realistic,
conscientious, and principled. They strive to
live up to their high ideals.
Examples: Gandhi, John Paul II, Martha
Stewart, “Church Lady”

Mary K. Greer
 #1: The Perfectionist (B)
• Motto: Let MY conscience be YOUR guide
• Lost Essential Quality: Perfection
• Compensating Belief:
– I must gain worthiness and love through being good and perfecting myself.
• I want to be morally right, to improve myself so that no one will
be able to say that I am not good.
• It is important to me that people behave as they should
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that I become morally
corrupt, a failure in my own eyes
• I am a person with high principles—logical and orderly.
1
 1 - Perfectionist
• Hot-Buttons:
– Criticize or scold them. Question their integrity.
Don’t follow through with what you say you are
going to do. Be chronically late.
• Openings:
– Affirm their good intentions, their
reasonableness, their integrity. Let them know
that you are aware of how hard they are trying.
• Giver (Type 2) is warm, concerned,
nurturing, and sensitive to other
people’s needs.

Examples: Mother Teresa, Eleanor

Roosevelt, Ann Landers, Dr. McCoy
 #2: The Giver (D)
• Motto: If you want to be loved, be lovable
• Lost Essential Quality: Universal will
• Compensating Belief:
– To get I must give. To be loved I must be needed.
• I want to love and be loved, to be helpful, and to be appreciated
for what I do.
• It is important to me that others see me as loving and helpful.
• The worst thing that could happen to me would be to have to
live with people who don’t appreciate me or care about me.
• I am a warm, loving, and helpful person
2
• Performer (Type 3) is energetic, optimistic,
self-assured, and goal-oriented.

Examples: Bill Clinton, Barbra Streisand, Jane

Pauley, Sting

Mary K. Greer
 2 - Helper

• Hot-Buttons:
– Take them for granted. Don’t thank them. Be
indifferent to the friendliness. Accuse them of
selfishness.
• Openings:
– Affirm the friendship, the intimacy between
you. Show appreciation. Reassure them that
they matter to you.
 #3: The Performer (E)
• Motto: Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise.
– Work harder, not smarter.
– Work is more fun than fun
• Lost Essential Quality: Hope
• Compensating Belief:
– The world rewards doing, not being.
• I want to be noticed, to be admired for doing things well.
• It is important that others see me as being successful.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that I fail at something and other
people find out.
• I am self-confident, competitive, attractive, a winner.
3
 3 - Achiever
• Hot-Buttons:
– Ignore them. Look down on them. Focus on their
defeats or shortcomings. Don’t include them. Be
ineffectual or sloppy. Push for intimacy.
• Openings:
– Give praise for accomplishments. Affirm their
personal value—not just their performance. Allow
space for feelings to emerge, but don’t demand them.
• Individualist/Romantic (Type 4) has
sensitive feelings and are warm and
perceptive.

Examples: Paul Simon, Edgar Allan Poe,

Michael Jackson
 #4: The Romantic (I)
• Motto: I feel so bad since you’ve gone, it’s almost like having you
here.
• Lost Essential Quality: Original Connection
• Compensating Belief:
– I am deficient and something really important is missing which must be regained.
• I want to be understood and to understand myself.
• It is important for me to find a meaning and a purpose in my life.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is for people to think that there
is something emotionally wrong with me.
• I am thoughtful, sincere, sensitive, and emotionally intense.
4
 4 - Romantic
• Hot-Buttons:
– Dismiss them. Disrupt their mood, their personal
world. Behave crudely. Be inelegant, coarse, or
insensitive to their feelings
• Openings:
– Encourage them. Self-diagnose a similar fault or
problem. Let them know that you’ll stay with them
while they are working through their feelings.
• Observer/Thinker (Type 5) has a need for
knowledge and is introverted, curious,
analytical, and insightful.

Examples: Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, John

Lennon, Stephen King
 #5: The Observer (F)
• Motto: Why one has to have a body, I don’t know. A necessary
appendage to the head, I suppose.
– You can observe a lot just by watching – Yogi Berra
• Lost Essential Quality: Omniscience
• Compensating Belief:
– The world demands too much and gives too little.
• I want to know, to understand everything around me.
• It is important to me that I see things clearly and correctly.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that my ideas be wrong,
incorrect.
• I am very perceptive and a person who sees things more clearly than
others.
5
 5 - Observer
• Hot-Buttons:
– Question their competency. Intrude on them. Start
“organizing” their things. Be closed- minded, or talk
about things you don’t really know about.
• Openings:
– Be a quiet presence: supplying support, but also
plenty of space. Give time for a response. Engage
them with topics of mutual interest. Write a letter..or
email
• Loyalist/Questioner (Type 6) is
responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty
to family, friends, groups, and causes.

Examples: Bruce Springsteen, Richard

Nixon, Princess Diana

Mary K. Greer
 #6: The Loyal Skeptic (G)
• Motto: I don’t like being afraid. It scares me.
• Lost Essential Quality: Faith
• Compensating Belief:
– The world is dangerous.
• I want to belong, to be safe in my own kind of friendly group.
• It is important to me that people be straight and fair with me.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that someone I
trust betrays me.
• I am strong-minded, friendly, and cautious.
6
6
 6 – Loyal Skeptic
• Hot-Buttons:
– Don’t “pull your weight.” Take the other point of
view. Be secretive or evasive. Take advantage of
their commitment.
• Openings:
– Affirm your connection/friendship. Reassure them
that you’re not walking out, that you’ll stand by
them. Remind them of past successes, solutions.
• Enthusiast/Epicure (Type 7) is energetic,
lively, and optimistic.

Examples: Liberace, Robin Williams, JFK,

Howard Stern

Mary K. Greer
 #7: The Epicure (H)
• Motto: When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the
one I’ve never tried before. – Mae West
• Lost Essential Quality: Sustained Concentration
• Compensating Belief:
– The world limits and frustrates people and causes pain which can be
escaped.
• I want happiness, excitement, to discover, and to do new things.
• It is important to me to always have a plan for what happens next. I
always have plan for the future.
• The worst thing that could happen to me would be to be bored and
broke.
• I am friendly, fun-loving, and able to do well at whatever I choose to do.
7
 7 - Epicure
• Hot-Buttons:
– Restrict their freedom, limit their choices. Be a “wet
blanket,” discouraging and pessimistic. Keep
“sharing” your despair.
• Openings:
– Acknowledge their underlying anxiety/fear. It’s OK
to be anxious or sad. Give them choices. Reassure
them that you care, but leave the door open.
• Boss/Leader (Type 8) is direct, self-
reliant, and protective.

Examples: Martin Luther King, Saddam

Hussein, Donald Trump

Mary K. Greer
 #8: The Boss (A)
• Motto: Never go to bed mad—stay up and fight!.
• Lost Essential Quality: Truth
• Compensating Belief:
– This is a hard and unjust world in which the powerful take advantage
of the innocent.
• I want to be in control, to lead, and to show that I am
stronger than others.
• It is important that I be in control of what goes on around
me.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that things
around me get out of control.
• I am different, independent, decisive, and respected.
8
 8 - Boss

• Hot-Buttons:
– Tell them what they can and can’t do. Try to
get an advantage over them. Be indecisive,
indirect, or “wimpy.” Beat around the bush.
• Openings:
– Tell them what you think or how you feel,
simply and directly. Get to the point. Look
them in the eye and say what you mean.
• Mediator/Peacemaker (Type 9) is
receptive, good-natured, and supportive.
They seek union with others and the
world.

• Examples: Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney,

Marge Simpson
 #9: The Mediator (C)
• Motto: I always procrastinate when I get around to it.
• Lost Essential Quality: Love
• Compensating Belief:
– I am unimportant so I must blend in.
• I want peacefulness, to keep things as they are (or as they
were).
• It is important that everyone get along with each other.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is to have to say “no”
to someone and have that person get angry at me.
• I am a person who is friendly and easygoing, but I can be very
stubborn sometimes.
9
 9 - Mediator

• Hot-Buttons:
– Disturb their peace, their calm. Yell. Direct
anger at them. Be aggressive and
confrontational. Make demands.
• Openings:
– Be there. Gently ask about their state and
what they want or need from the situation. Be
patient in waiting for a response.
 Analyzing the Enneagram
• Wings
• Triads
– Heart – image-based-2,3,4
– Head – fear-based-5,6,7
– Gut – anger-based – 8,9,1

Mary K. Greer
 Body Types
The Mediator C
9
A B
The Boss 8 The
1
Perfectionist

Body Types - 8, 9, 1. The Body Types all have issues relating

to their anger and with relating to others. Eights, who are
assertive and hard-working, tend to overexpress their anger.
Nines, who are friendly and laid-back are most out of touch
with their anger. Ones, who have perfectionist tendencies,
often suppress emotions and underexpress their anger.
 Heart Types
Heart Types - 2, 3, 4. The Heart Types all
have issues relating to their feelings, or to be
specific, with their image. Twos, who can
sometimes seem intrusive and overly-
emotional over-express their feelings.
Threes, who tend to ignore their feelings in
order to get the job done, and be successful,
are the most out of touch with their feelings. D
2 The Giver
Fours, who despite feeling emotions deeply,
usually don't like to express them directly,
and instead communicate usually through
subtle communication or an art form, and
therefore underexpress their feelings. 3 The Performer
E

4 The
Romantic I
 Head Types
Head Types - 5, 6, 7. The Head Types all have
issues with their thoughts, or to be specific, fear
and anxiety. Fives, who are removed from the
physical world because they are frightened of it in
a way, live in their minds, and often overexpress
their thoughts. Sixes, who can't trust themselves
The H nor anybody on the outside are caught in fear, and
Epicure 7 are thus most out of touch with their thoughts.
Sevens who are afraid of introspection, turn to the
outside world for action and experience, making
them underexpress their thoughts.
The Loyal 6
G Skeptic

The Observer 5
F
 Issues for each type

• Lost Essential Quality

• Compensating Belief
• What do I want most?
• What is most important to me?
• What is the worst thing that could happen to
me?
• How do I see myself (on a good day)?
 Effects of Security and Stress

• Types change under stress and in

security
• Types under stress move with the arrow
• Types in security move against the
arrow

Mary K. Greer
 Passions and Virtues
Type Passion Virtue
1 Perfectionist Anger Serenity
2 Giver Pride Humility
3 Performer Deceit Honesty
4 Individualist Envy Balance
5 Thinker Greed Nonattachment
6 Loyalist Fear Courage
7 Enthusiast Gluttony Sobriety
8 Boss Lust Innocence
9 Mediator Sloth Right action

Mary K. Greer
 Coping with Conflict and
Difficulty
• Positive Outlook (Two, Seven, Nine)
– Adopt, as much as possible, a positive attitude
– Look at the bright side
– Morale builders – make others feel good because they want to feel good

• Competency (One, Three, Five)

– Put their feelings aside and strive to be objective, effective, and competent
– Try to solve problems logically and expect others to do the same
– Have issues about how they work within a structure or system

• Reactive (Four, Six, Eight)

– React emotionally to conflicts and problems
– Want others to match their emotional state
– Need to deal with their feelings first, then can move on
 Coping Styles
• Positive Outlook Group – Deny that they have any problems
– Two: “You have a problem. I am here to help you.”
– Seven: “There may be a problem, but I’m fine.”
– Nine: “What problem? I don’t think there is a problem.”

• Competency Group – Cut off feelings and solve problems logically

– One: “ I’m sure we can solve this like sensible, mature adults.”
– Three: “There’s an efficient solution to this – we just need to get to work.”
– Five: “There are a number of hidden issues here: let me think about this.”

• Reactive Group – React strongly and need response from others

– Four: “I feel really hurt, and I need to express myself.”
– Six: “I feel really pressured, and I’ve got to let off some steam.”
– Eight: “I’m really angry about this and you’re going to hear about it!”
Danger of Stereotyping
Mary K. Greer